It’s nearing that time of year when fundamentalist pastors dust off their extra-long Super Bowl Sunday sermon and prepare to castigate their congregations for loving sports more than they love Jesus. “Can somebody tell me why,” the preacher will bellow, “that people can get all excited and cheer and scream for a football game and yet they can’t get excited and cheer for Jesus?” Paradoxically, this line will generally produce quite a bit of cheering indeed.
The real question here is that if the behavior at church is going to be held to the standards of a sporting event, exactly how far is too far? Should we wear our team colors to church? Do we even have team colors? (Red, White, and Blue?). Would it be appropriate for brother “Big Jim” Smith to paint them on his naked torso?
What about concessions? Peanuts? Hot Dogs? Locusts and wild honey? Is it appropriate to do “the wave” when the preacher makes a great point and should the preacher in turn be expected to do an end zone dance at the end of the sermon?
I’ve certainly wondered if the pastor who chides his people for ‘not cheering’ really knows what he’s asking for. I trust you have too.
If you’d like to see that last post demonstrated as an instructional video that is written and acted with all the talent and passion of an OSHA safety film then…here you go.
When a fundamentalist talks about evangelism what they generally mean is “soul winning.” Furthermore, what they mean by soul winning is mostly “giving the gospel one time to a stranger whom I will almost certainly never see again.”
This kind of proselytizing is a strange way for any group to further its goals. The fundamentalist is essentially building an entire method of organizational growth on a policy of asking complete strangers to believe that a person with whom they had a relationship for exactly thirty seconds has the absolute truth about all matters of sin, redemption, and eternity. And what’s more, they do this in a cultural environment where most people won’t even buy a magazine subscription from a door-to-door salesman.
It’s not exactly clear how this came to be the preferred method of fundamentalists for “evangelizing” the lost. I would posit the theory that the average fundy simply doesn’t have relationships with a large number of certified genuine sinner types that he can use as a basis for witnessing. Indeed, having built the castle of Holiness and dug the moat of Separation, fundamentalists are then left with the task of launching raiding parties of two or three hearty Christians soldiers out into the wild to club as many hapless sinners as they can and drag them back into the fold while trying not to be infected with their prey’s immodesty and bad language. Hunt with care, you only get one shot.
There’s a general rule when it comes to fundy church websites: if the URL of the church website is the name of the pastor, run away!
This week’s pick jamesknox.com(also the home of THE BIBLE Baptist Church of DeLand, Florida) certainly fits the bill. Here you’ll find prominent displays of Bro. Knox’s self-proclaimed “classic sermons”, thoughts (on Tiger Woods: “Why anyone is surprised that a man who curses the name of Jesus Christ over a poorly hit golf ball would be unfaithful to his wife is a mystery to me.”), commentary, and radio broadcasts as well as the ubiquitous Bible school. As for that last please note that the school does not have “Banquets, dances, festivals and other thinly disguised observances of pagan holidays.” and “nothing in place to promote romance among our students.” So there. Bro. Knox evidently keeps busy.
Be sure to check out the pictures from the 2009 Bible conference which includes one shot of the preacher kissing (sniffing?, licking?) his Bible, some great examples of sign-holding evangelism, and more collared shirts than you can shake a stick at.
A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.