The challenge today is to rewrite (or invent) hymn titles to demonstrate fundamentalist reality. Here are a few to start… Break Thou The Purely Symbolic Matzo Cracker Of Life When We Baptists Get To Heaven Blessed Be the Standards That Bind Blindly Trust And Obey Without Thinking Revive Us Again, and Again, and Again, and…

In many fundamentalist churches there is a phenomenon known as “Favorites Night” which is code for “the pastor is taking the night off.” The bulk of these services consist of church members chortling in sadistic glee as they search the hymnbook for obscure songs in hopes of making the pianist lose her sanctification. In aid [...]

Call me crazy but I still love this stuff. (This one is actually done by Altar Of Praise Chorale, a Mennonite acapella group).

Here’s a page from an old hymnal showing the favorite songs of various fundamentalist heroes. Click on the picture to embiggen. Many thanks to Eric for the scan.

There are two major schools of song-leading in fundy churches. The first  is prone to singing every…single…verse…with all of the unbridled energy of a man building his own gallows. When these folks sing “when we’ve been there 10,000 years” they’re not kidding. The other method of  singing hymns is to religiously omit the third verse [...]

According to unnoficial fundamentalist dogma, the height of perfection in hymn writing was reached somewhere around 1947 and any music written after that point is automatically suspect. Fundies view CCM artists as tools of Satan to tempt young people to turn the fellowship hall into a dance hall. CCM artists view fundamentalists as the musical [...]