Tag Archives: modesty

Dressing for the Lord

In preparation for writing his book Dressing for the Lord, David Cloud, famous fundamentalist pontificator, asked some number of fundamentalist men this question:

“In your opinion, which of the following items of female dress cause a real potential for lust?”

  • short skirts
  • tight skirts
  • slit skirts
  • long skirts with slits to the knees
  • sleeveless blouses
  • low cut blouses and dresses
  • tight blouses
  • sheer blouses
  • T-shirts
  • V-neck dresses
  • form-fitting jeans
  • looser-fitting pants
  • shorts
  • one piece bathing suits

and then comes my favorite part where he feels led of the spirit to mention that:

We included pedal pushers and capris in the original survey but most of the men did not know what they are, so it turned out that the comments on those items were too irrelevant to include in this book.

Pedal pushers? I’m surprised there wasn’t also a question on whether bustles give you boners.

Of course, the results of asking a bunch of fundamentalist men what they think about low cut blouses is about as predictable as asking a bunch of NRA members what their views are on French gun laws — and just about as thoughtful and nuanced.

Unsurprisingly, when you’re a fundamentalist confirmation bias is actually considered a positive.

A Dress Code

I have one more guest post that was submitted last week to share with you! The author is choosing to remain anonymous.

Victory Faith Bible KJV1611 Baptist Church Dress Code for Ladies’

1. That which pertaineth to a man

Ladies’ must abstain from all appearance of evil. That means our ladies’ here at VFBKJV1611 Baptist Church should not where pants or shorts.

2. Tops
Blouses and dresses must reach the colorbone and be buttoned all the way up. If the buttons gap open at the bust, ladies’ should go up a size or use safety pins to avoid having their braziers showing, which can be very tempting to our young men and therefore inappropriate. Blouses should be full and not darted, which means there should be no ungodly emphasis on the waistline or underbust. Arms should be no shorter than the elbow. Sheer materials should be avoidable, but if you must wear a sheer blouse, also wear a skin-collared brazier and a full slip to conceal you’re nakedness. Tee shirts, tank tops and other immodest tops are not acceptable.

3. Skirts
Skirts should be at least 3 inches below the knee so that you can sit, kneel and otherwise move around without expositing your knee. Your skirt should also be at least a-line and preferably circle or very full to avoid drawring unnecessary attention to your legs. The waist should hit at your natural waist (low waistts are not acceptable) and be gathered to avoid unnecessary attention to the hips. Your skirt should have no slits. Kick pleats should not be necessary if your skirt is properly full. All ladies’ should where a slip with their skirts to avoid immodest exposure that could lead to lustful thoughts.

4. Culottes
Box pleat culottes are required for outdoors activities, but we ask that our ladies’ not where them to services. Culottes should follow the same rules as skirts and reach at least 3 inches below the knee and be sufficiently full that we do not see the shape of your legs. Also, if you canot do it modestly in culottes, you should rethink doing it at all. It may just not be a ladylike actvitiy.

5. Legs
We know you have them. We do not want to see them. Please wear nylons or tights to conceal the flesh of your legs. Closed-toed shows are not mandatory, but we do ask our ladies’ to consider the fleshly desires of our gentlemen and dress accordingly. Heels that excessively “bunch up” the calf are nightclub attire, not church attire. Bobby socks and canvas tennis shoes are acceptable for certain functions. Please ask Mrs. Pastor for more information.

6. Hair
The KJV1611 says long hair is a glory. We request that our ladies’ discuss their hair with their husbands or fathers to determine the most appropriate hair length for godly glory. Hair should be a natural color (no red, pink or blue, please!) and cut in a flattering, modest manner that does not bring undue attention to our godly ladies heads.
7. Makeup and jewelry
Ladies, if the barn needs painting, paint it, but avoid whoriehs excessiveness. Lipstick should be natural-colored, and leave the false eyelashes at home! Jewelry should be limited to (one) wedding ring and (one) engagement rink. GOD Himself tells us that peircings are a sign of slaves, not godly women, so skip them!

8. Bodies
We understand that ladies come in all shapes and sizes. That said, ladies who are thin should consider the effect of their vanity on their soles. Ladies who are bigger need to worry about their husbands’ soles and maybe lose some weight so their husbands are not tempted to stray. The rest of you ladies need to wear looser-fitting clothes to conceal your hips and other lady areas. We recommend jumpers since these offer the best coverage of (we apologize for our course language) curves.

9. Other
Any other concerns not already mentioned can be discussed with our godly pastor or any of the deacons, who would be happy to set up a private appointment to discuss your modesty needs or evaluate a particular outfit.

10. Visitors
We understand that nonmebers may arrive wearing inappropriate clothing. Although we are always happy to welcome new people, we do feel it is important to emphasize modesty to protect our men from lustful thoughts. If you notice a visitor lady who is wearing a tight skirt, pants or a low-cut blouse, please let her know we love her as a sister, and offer her one of our spare sweaters (they are located in the church foyer’s coat rack) to wear over her top or place over her bottom half while she is sitting.

We appreciate all our sisters’ in Christ taking the time to keep our church modest! Let us know if there is any way we can support you in this endeavor. 

Please sign and date this document to signify your agreement to the dress code.

Signed

___________________________________________________________________________
Date

___________________________________________________________________________