Defining What “Good” is.

goodFor those times when the “weaker brother” or “appearance of evil” aren’t the right tool to force a person to follow the fundy’s rules, there is one final tool that can be put into use to apply the needed pressure: whipping out James 4:17. (for those of you who are not fundies that passage reads “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”)

The trick here is making sure that the “him that knoweth” is always a fundy leader since he alone is qualified to define what GOOD is. The argument is made thus:

1.  Sunday School is good.
2. You have not signed up to teach Sunday School this year.
3. You are in sin until you sign up to teach a Sunday School class.

It’s clear at a glance that this method of coercion has more uses than duct tape. What other seventeen words could give someone the power to draft free labor for everything from washing the church vans to bringing popsicles to VBS?

Funny how the rest of the stuff that comes before the word “therefore” in the verse doesn’t really get brought up in these conversations. It must not be that good.

FWOTW: psalm118.org

psalm118The website of Victory Baptist Church in Gaffney, SC (home of a water tower that looks like a ginormous peach) had me hooked from my first glimpse of the animated guy waving hi. And it gets even more entertaining after that. No, really.

The website proclaims that “Victory Baptist Church is known for its fire and brimstone tent revivals but now the outreach ministry has went worldwide.” Indeed.

Be sure to check out the no less than six articles on tattoos and the 118 MB video sermon on “How to Handle Hindrances” (My biggest hindrance at the moment is that it’s taking 15 minutes to download this file off their server).

Update 1: I’m listening to this sermon and just learned that that the wild fires a few years ago in California were caused by gay marriage being legalized. I’m left to wonder if the pastor thinks the current wild fires were caused by it being outlawed again.

Dissing Divorcees

DivorceIn fundamentalist circles there is a definite pecking order to sins committed. Being a former drug addict or murderer is actually a plus since it makes for a great testimony and turns you into a walking example of the transformational power of the gospel. On the other hand, being divorced in fundy circles consigns one to the kind of second class positions reserved for those who struggle with homosexuality and people who admit to having voted for Bill Clinton.

To a fundamentalist there is never a good reason to get divorced. Even if one’s spouse turns out to be a combination of Jack the Ripper and Attila the Hun the fundy code insists that there can be no escape clause from the eternal bonds of matrimony. And the ex-Mrs. Hun still doesn’t qualify to teach Sunday School or be on the missions committee lest others in the church see her example and be tempted to unwittingly marry a marauding philanderer.

It would appear that the only recourse for the fundy divorcee who wishes to have a place in ministry is to move to a remote part of Florida and start their own King James Only sect.

A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.