Category Archives: Standards

Two Rulebooks

I was reading along in The Divide: American Injustice in the Age of the Wealth Gap when the following passage by Matt Taibbi smote me in the eye:

As a very young man, I studied the Russian language in Leningrad, in the waning days of the Soviet empire. One of the first things I noticed about that dysfunctional wreck of a lunatic country was that it had two sets of laws, one written and one unwritten. The written laws were meaningless, unless you violated one of the unwritten laws, at which point they became all-important.

So, for instance, possessing dollars or any kind of hard currency was technically forbidden, yet I never met a Soviet citizen who didn’t have them. The state just happened to be very selective about enforcing its anticommerce laws. So the teenage farsovshik (black market trader) who sold rabbit hats in exchange for blue jeans outside my dorm could be arrested for having three dollars in his pocket, but a city official could openly walk down Nevsky Avenue with a brand-new Savile Row suit on his back, and nothing would happen.

Everyone understood this hypocrisy implicitly, almost at a cellular level, far beneath thought. For a Russian in Soviet times, navigating every moment of citizenship involved countless silent calculations of this type. But the instant people were permitted to think about all this and question the unwritten rules out loud, it was like the whole country woke up from a dream, and the system fell apart in a matter of months. That happened before my eyes in 1990 and 1991, and I never forgot it.

This sounds so familiar to me. In the dorm rooms, classrooms, church auditoriums, and camp cabins of fundamentalism there are also two rule books. Don’t listen to music with a beat, unless you’re the son of a favored deacon. Don’t go to the beach, unless you’re a big tither. Don’t wear the wrong clothes, unless you’re the pastor’s granddaughter.

And above all, don’t fall from grace or else the indulgences granted to you by the local Baptist pope will be rescinded and you’ll find that the same rules that apply to the unwashed masses are suddenly laid on you as well.

Fundy Fallacy: Bifurcation

One has to look no further than this this article by Allen Domelle Bruce Goddard, to find the common fundy fallacy of bifurcation otherwise known as the “all or nothing” fallacy.

Starting with a tautology for a title (“If You Have No Line, Then You Have No Line”) he attempts to demonstrate that “mockers who act as if you are so stupid for fussing over little things” must obviously have no standards or morals whatsoever or else they wouldn’t question yours.

Would you let somebody into your church naked? Then you must keep my dress standards! Would you (God forbid) let Justin Bieber sing in your church? then you must keep my music standards!

There is no middle ground in fundy world. It’s a bizarre place to live.

Update 1: Corrected author of the article to Bruce Goddard. Allen Domelle is the owner of the website.

The Play’s The Thing

Dramatic productions on Fundy U Campuses always create an odd tension as people who like to believe that 1950′s America is the gold standard for all things godly are forced to grapple with the realization that people didn’t always dress, cut their hair, or do their makeup the same way Jimmy Stewart did.

On the one hand, they tacitly admit that standards of dress are culturally relative — otherwise they’re forcing their students to sin by dressing up in costumes that don’t meet the dress code in the rule book. On the other hand, they simply can’t admit that their own culture has long since moved away from preferences and that fighting the culture wars of the 1960′s is no longer a good use of their time.

(And in case anybody wonders, I have no problem at all with the costuming here. These guys are rocking it.)