A lot of schools do fundraisers. Most of them don’t have the KJV on their candy bars.

Today’s challenge is simply to fill in this blank.

“I used to think _________. I was wrong.”

It’s good for all of us to realize we’ve wrong once in a while. (And might still be sometimes.)

Is this video real or an intentional fake?

Although several people have sent me this horrific rendition, I’m going to call shenanigans on it for several reasons:

1) The singer starts out by talking about Brian Free and the Assurance which is definitely not an IFB group but then transitions right into talking about Gospel Light Baptist Church in Salisbury, NC which is most definitely an IFB church.

2) The applause track after he mentions the church is an obvious fake.

3) We see three heads of audience members but there’s nobody on the stage or in the choir loft. In fact, this guy is sitting on the arm of the pastor’s chair (right next to the phone). Nobody would do that to the pastor’s throne and get away with it in an IFB church. [Edit: Thanks to everyone who pointed out that he's actually on a stool in front of the chair. I concede the point]

4) He’s wearing a polo shirt and sneakers. Sneakers. On the platform. Not likely.

5. He chooses a song best known by Vestal Goodman and then murders it in a way that could only be purposeful. While doing it he runs around the stage and holds the microphone in both hands.

I suspect that some hooligans managed to get into a Baptist church somewhere when nobody else was around and shot this video as a spoof. But I’d love to hear your opinions.

Today’s website was send along by alert SFL reader Dan and is chock full of the kind of fundy craziness that we’ve all come to expect. There’s information on Science, Cosmology (which one can only assume isn’t a science), and “Biblical Rules For Doctrinal Discussion or Debate.” Plus there’s a whole page on Peter Ruckman just in case you were doubtful as to which kind of crazy is being represented here.

But none of the above can compare to the ringing endorsement of Jack Fellure as God’s choice for President of the United States in 2012. What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of Jack Fellure? Well it just so happens Jack is the candidate of the Prohibition Party (slogan: Nobody Knows We Still Exist). As the old saying goes: “If your party has its convention at the Holiday Inn Express in Cullman, Alabama don’t start picking out your furniture for the Oval Office just quite yet.”

Oh, and the guy who runs the site apparently totes a sword around. So there’s that.

The teams are chosen, the date is fixed, and all that remains before the Superbowl is hearing your favorite fundy preacher bloviate about how wicked it all is.

10. Those players should be in church!

9. Your posters on your bedroom wall should be a pastor or missionary not some cursing, fornicating sports star.

8. Why don’t people get as excited about soulwinning as they do about football?

7. The rock and roll debauchery of the halftime shows just shows how far America has fallen.

6. At the Great White Throne Judgement, Jesus isn’t going to care how far you could throw a football. He’s going to ask you how much you tithed.

5. What if we spent all the money that we pay those football teams on missions instead?

4. You all will go to a ball game and scream and yell but you come to church and I can’t hardly get you to say “amen” or get excited at all!

3. Those cheerleaders are immodest harlots. And you men who lust after them should be ashamed of yourselves.

2. Most of you aren’t going to listen to a thing I said here and you’re going to run straight home and put the game on.

1. Honey, are those nachos done yet? The second half is about to start!

Thanks to Nathan J. For passing this one along!

It’s great to see so many people enjoying themselves today on the blog and the forums. As I look around this site, I can see the community really starting to grow together into a family and that warms my heart. But I don’t think we’ve been called to rest on our laurels and just enjoy each other. Any chur…er…website that isn’t growing is dying. We need to keep on reaching out with our message of hope into the fundamentalist community and bringing in the sheaves.

To that end, today I’d like to introduce a new SFL outreach program that I”m  calling “Webvangelism.” Quite simply it’s taking the good news of the freedom you’ve found here to others and trying to get them and their Paypal accounts to surf on in here and see what we’re all about. Each one, win one, and soon we’ll be overflowing our server limits again.

Now any good outreach program is incomplete without organization so here’s the plan that I’ve drafted for you all. Starting next week we’ll meet every Thursday night at 6:00 p.m. in the chat room for a brief time of prayer and instructions. Then we’ll split into groups of two and go out onto the Internet looking for fundamentalists and posting messages that I’ll write down for you word for word in advance. We’ll do this for a couple of hours (no more than three or four at most) and then we’ll meet back for status reports, war stories, and prayer requests.

Imagine the impact we could have in only an hour a week spent posting on Fundy Facebook profiles, Twitter streams, and WordPress.com comments sections! If you have someone special in mind who you think would benefit from such a cyber visit please e-mail their name to me and I’ll make a personal visit to their URL with an invitation by me or my designated spambot.

For those who are concerned about online safety,  Don and I will tackle the job of looking for fundies on seamier sides of tumblr and blogspot since we have the spiritual fortitude to withstand such things without temptation. Or at least I do. Do be in prayer for us that Don will keep himself right and that I’ll remember to watch him like  hawk.

Now perhaps some of you have work, or families or other excuses for not actually showing up to Webvangelism nights. Thankfully, I’ve been led to start a second ministry for those who can’t make it that they can do any time. I won’t go into all the details here but I’ll just say that it involves sending promotional e-mails to everybody @juno.com

I’ll see you there on Thursday night! I’m excited and I hope you all are too.

NOTE: Tomorrow SFL will be participating in the SOPA Strike. Our regular nonsense will resume on Thursday.