Category Archives: Odds and Ends

The King James Journey to the Grocery Store on the First Night of the Icy Weather

(Photo Credit: Bill Morrow)

As I look at the forecast and see MOAR SNOW on the horizon this guest post from Ken D. seems altogether timely. Keep warm out there.

The King James Journey to the Grocery Store on the First Night of the Icy Weather

Yea, verily, unto the earth didst fall without number the small pellets of ice like unto the fine gravel of the road in their size.

And great was the upheaval and the consternation throughout the land, and great was the hustling and bustling in the much-trafficked aisles of the market, yea, of the grocer’s stall. For many were the hands that were laid upon the loaves of bread, the groping hands that seized the milk of the kine. Deep into their purses and devices of mechanical banking didst the teeming masses thrust their hands and brought forth money, yea, even lucre, wherewith to purchase victuals.

For in their hearts, they thought unto themselves, “We shall not surely starve. For if the electricity be off, yea, if the power of the lightning be cut off, we shall yet eat; for, verily, our cupboards are full unto bursting with bread and dry cereals. And our pantries what eschew the heat, they do hold unto themselves rich stores of milk wherewith we shall drench our cereals and wash down our breads. Yea, and we shall be sated. Though we be frozen as the stones of the ground, we shall be filled.”

Then, with their great bundles stowed in their carriages, the haughty people, yea, the proud ones who didst unto the last minute delay to buy groceries, even these drove away. And in their foolishness, they heeded not the the ice which as the fine gravel lay upon the road; and with all speed and carelessness of mind, they didst drive like unto maniacs until with great clamor and noise of destruction they skidded headlong through yon guardrail. And great was the crashing of metal; great was the splashing of icy waters. And their victuals didst take wing and fly hither and yon, and the birds and beasts of the field didst devour the bread and meat and carried them unto their young.

And they didst endure the storm being not hungered, but the foolish people perished, and they froze and wert hungered.