Category Archives: Odds and Ends


One of the funniest things ever observed in missionary travels is watching missionaries attempt to set up and take a portable screen like this one.

To start with the entire contraption is on little collapsible legs that are prone to fold up or tip over if you even look at them funny or speak too loudly in their presence. To make matters worse, the screen itself is held open by an arm and hook contraption that as best as I can figure was invented by the devil to make missionaries invent new curse words.

There was a particular missions conference I attended where a church had helpfully provided their own screen but due to some vagary of the mechanics the screen would not open more than halfway no matter how much they prayed or tried to cast the spirit of Bad Engineering out of it.

The missionary, himself a diminutive man, was not at all impressed by their tiny screen size and right before his presentation before a room full of packed pews attempted to show his field experience and can-do spirit by making adjustments on the fly.

No sooner had he commenced the laying on of hands than the screen immediately completely backslid and began to waggle about forcing the missionary into a strange tribal dance as he wrapped his arms around various bits of it and shuffled around in a circle trying to keep the display from complete apostasy. The entire thing flopped one way and rotated another and threatened in every way to deny the audience a view of a Foreign Land and its Great Need (TM).

Meanwhile, all the other missionaries tried their very hardest not to laugh out loud. Mostly because we were just that hard up for a laugh.

You can call it spiritual warfare if you must. All I know is that I don’t remember anything else that happened that evening but I’ll never forget how that man’s overconfidence ended him up dancing for his dinner in the middle of a missions conference. I’m still convinced those screens are the devil’s own handiwork.

If It’s True

If Independent Baptist Fundamentalism is true…

…every happy moment you’ve had since you left has been self-delusional.

…every moment you’ve not spent “soul winning” has effectively been wasted.

…every dollar you haven’t not tithed on has been stolen from God

…the majority of people reading their Bible today are being deluded by Satan’s perversion

…the majority of people who attended church this week were too.

…you’ll probably burn in hell. So will almost everybody you love along with 99% of the rest of the world.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

Boot Camp

The following invitation showed up in my e-mail this week.

30 day Boot Camp for men 18 and over who want training for the times we live in, plus the power of GOD in their ministry and life. To be held at SABC Camp Grounds in Conroe, Texas on FM 1485 and Brown Rd. All men teaching and preaching will be approved by Pastor Danny Farley.

1 Must be at least 18

2 Must have permission from your pastor to attended

3 Cost 400.00 dollars per person

4 Space is limited

Included was a link that led me to this page:

Which features this very, very scary application.

This all leads me to wonder, what exactly goes on at this “boot camp”? Why is the website so completely devoid of any information? And why would anybody in their right mind attend it?