Anything you can do, a fundamentalist can do better. And faster. and holier. Their Sunday Schools aren’t just big. No, they’re the biggest Sunday Schools In The History of Mankind (5000 years give or take). Their soul winners aren’t just active. They’ve won more people to Jesus than Peter and Paul combined. Our church isn’t [...]

If people at your church fanatically cheer for a team at a college they think no good Christian should ever dream of attending…you may be a fundamentalist.

The perfect way to dress up the tissue box on your old-fashioned altar. stolen from JesusNeedsNewPR

Yes, it’s not really fair to pull material from a guy who calls himself the “third eagle of the apocalypse and co-prophet of the end times” (edit: and is likely Roman Catholic) but this was just too good to pass up. Many thanks to Grant for sending this in.

Since its inception, the primary purpose of the automobile has always been to provide venue for pastors to lose their testimonies. It may also (as a strictly secondary function) provide some modicum of useful transportation. It is a well known fact in fundamentalism that even the most restrained and moderate of people lose all self-control [...]

The challenge today is to rewrite (or invent) hymn titles to demonstrate fundamentalist reality. Here are a few to start… Break Thou The Purely Symbolic Matzo Cracker Of Life When We Baptists Get To Heaven Blessed Be the Standards That Bind Blindly Trust And Obey Without Thinking Revive Us Again, and Again, and Again, and…

In my Inbox this morning… Being used of saten is definitely something that no sane person would want. However, I am confident that I am prepared to answer to gid, my friend. I hope you are ready as well.

I wonder, have you done your best for Jesus? I know that we live under all that grace nonsense now (my, how I miss a good old-fashioned stoning!) but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a good guilt trip now and again about your works or lack thereof.  Jesus is keeping score. Did you waste [...]