Top 10 Reasons Donald Trump is the Perfect Fundamentalist Candidate

Donald Trump

10. He doesn’t like women very much.

9. Brown people bother him too.

8. He believes in suits so much he has his own line of them.

7. Wants to pay everybody the same way most fundies pay their staff.

6. He’s the undisputed king of the comb-over.

5. He loves to insult people.

4. …almost as much as he loves building new buildings to glorify himself.

3. And man, does he know how to pack a pew.

2. He’s also got a great TV outreach program. (And knows how to fudge the numbers on it.)

1. He’s a rich and powerful white Republican. I mean…do you really need another reason?

172 thoughts on “Top 10 Reasons Donald Trump is the Perfect Fundamentalist Candidate”

  1. 3rd! As long as no one posts before I finish….
    I am amazed at how many Christians I hear say God has anointed Trump to bring us back to glory and being debt free…..
    I can’t understand it–Trump’s life style is anything but meek–Jesus said “blessed are the meek” Trump doesn’t follow the turn the other cheek or do unto others as you would have them do to you or love your enemies….his motto has been if you are nice to me I’ll be nice to you. If you attack me, then I will attack you…which seems so anti-Christ in nature.
    But he is going to bring us back…according to Christians….I guess Christianity has officially become all about politics and not about following Jesus.

    1. His companies have been in bankruptcy three or four times.
      So he’s the guy who’s going to get us out if debt??

        1. Are Christians really saying that ? Can’t say I’ve heard any but perhaps I don’t run in the same circles.

          What on earth is their justification??

        2. It seems to be:

          1. He claims to be a Christian (bwahahahaha)
          2. He’s not afraid to say offensive, abrasive stuff (i.e he’s “bold and unashamed”)
          3. Like a medieval pope, he’s willing to fling the Muslim hordes taking over Christendom.
          4. He’s sort of the embodiment of the harsh, uncharitable, every-man-for-himself, rugged individual, self-made-man, isolationist Americanism that has somehow gotten all tangled up with Christianity and made it completely unrecognizable.
          5. People are ignorant and actually think that “communism” and “democratic socialism” are the same and are also the same as the Nazis or Stalin, so it’s really easy to scare them. Trump knows how to scare people.

          That seems to be what I’m seeing.

        3. After what happened last Friday in Paris, “Fling back the Muslim Horde” is going to get a lot of traction. French neo-Fascists are already cashing in.

          And then there’s this rumor I heard a couple weeks ago of somebody offering a Crusader special edition AR-15 with a Knights Templar cross engraved and the “SAFE/FIRE/AUTO” selector renamed “PEACE/WAR/GOD WILLS IT!” (Special edition engraved AR-15? May as well gold-plate an AK47. And if they have a three-position selector, how are they getting away with offering a full-auto?)

      1. That’s how he makes his money, isn’t it? Buy a company, sell off the assets, leave the dismembered corpse behind for other people to clean up.

    2. Leanne, what you said is very similar to what I’ve been thinking lately: every presidential election, Christians get whipped into frenzies by people outdoing each other to show how opposite they are of the characteristics Jesus praised in the Sermon on the Mount.

      1. It is incredible how much USAmerican Christians anoint a politician as the Christian choice–and that person does not embody the teachings of Christ–not that any of us do…but none of us are claiming to be able to lead the nation back to its Christian values or restore Christ in our nation.

        1. I always want to ask and have it explained in detail, what do you mean when you say “we need to put God back into this nations again”

    3. Well, I don’t know about mixing Christianity and politics. I think that’s what the Jews believed Christ was going to be about, crushing opposing political adversaries.

      But I will say this. I actually typed the following statement (or a version of it) on FB and then deleted it prior to posting:

      I wouldn’t hit a hog in the posterior region with “American Christianity”, and if I accidentally did, I would make certain I washed the poor creature’s back side thoroughly.

      I also clarified that I was speaking to the “Protestant side” as I have no working knowledge of the “Catholic side”. Which is a whole ‘nother issue that I am working through. As I have mentioned before, Catholicism is NOT what I was raised to believe it was.

      1. I’m from Northern Ireland – I know how dangerous a marriage of religion and politics. I heard people scream “keep religion out if politics!” My cry is “keep politics out of religion”

        1. Amen! It just drives me bug shit whenever I hear priests or prominent apostolates spouting the talking points of one political party or another (see: America Needs Fatima, Tradition Family Property). It’s like, you people are supposed to be promoting the Word of God, not the platform of the Republican Party!

      2. I think in the US we have mixed politics/Americana with Christianity to the point that many cannot see the difference. The values of this blended religion are patriotism, independence, individualism and personal rights–all this unquestioned, unwavering.

        1. Yep. The se thing happened with Ulster Protestantism. Religion and Politics got bed together centuries ago and have stayed there ever since. Hence the long history of pain and heartache. 🙁

      3. Yeah simple, what does that mean? Someone should ask them. They probably couldn’t answer. Why doesn’t someone ask them. ajc

    4. I am amazed at how many Christians I hear say God has anointed Trump to bring us back to glory and being debt free…..

      They said the same thing about the Seven Dwarfs in the 2012 GOP primaries. It’s Messiah Politics, the Man on the White Horse who will Solve All Our Problems and Make Everything Perfect Forevermore.

      “Germany was in big trouble
      What a sad sad story;
      Needed a new Leader
      To restore their former glory;
      Where O where was He?
      Who could that man be?”
      — Mel Brooks, The Producers

      Just in America, the Man on the White Horse comes banging a Bible.

  2. 11. His solutions to pretty much every real-world problem are totally impractical.
    12. He is impervious to ideas from outside his own bubble of artificial reality.

  3. Trump is starring in the current popular reality TV show, “Who Wants to be a President?” Fundies are ok with TV as long as it’s *clean* so I can see the appeal.

    You left out the reason: Makes a big deal about the “War on Christmas.”

    1. Dear Eponine:

      You should have called # 11. Since you didn’t, I claimed it [below], and now the best you can do is 12th.


      Christian Socialist

    2. Does anyone else remember a news item from a month or two ago about various Fundy leader types making pilgrimage to The Trump to give Him God’s Anointing (just like Samuel did King David)?

      Is this the replacement for GOP candidates making pilgrimage to BJU to announce their run and receive the Anointing and Blessing from the Kingmaker?

  4. Tickets are sold out? How much were those tickets?

    I would think that he has enough money to invite folks for free. After all, he wants their votes, right?

    1. For his annuoncement that he was running for president, he used a casting agency to recruit extras to play audience members, and paid them $50 each.
      But Trump’s getting enough media buzz now that he probably no longer has to pay people to show up at his performances. The fools give it away for free.

      1. I now love her. And I love how she just shrugs it off and goes back to reading like “you don’t tell me what to do, dude.”

  5. 13. He makes goes on ad infinitum about insignificant, ridiculous stuff (i.e. latest long-winded rant about Hilary’s latest hair style).

    1. Wages are too high? Oh, THAT is how I landed in debt and on food stamps despite working two jobs. Thank you, Trump. I feel better now.

  6. A large percentage of Americans seem to believe that very rich people always know what they’re doing and have a lot of practical street smarts.
    My more charitable side wants to believe that this is due to most Americans not knowing any very rich people, but that probably isn’t true.

    I went to school with a lot of rich people, many of them dumber than dirt. This disabused me early on of any notions of the superiority of the 1%.
    As Hemingway (no stranger to the very wealthy) said, the main difference between them and the rest of us is that the rich have more money.

    1. Dear Big Gary:

      Socialist jokes are not intended to be funny. That is a good thing because usually, they’re not. The intent rather is to make a point. That said…

      One day, this kid bought an apple for 5 cents. He spent the rest of the day cleaning and polishing that apple. The next day, he sold it for 10 cents. With his profit, he bought two apples at 5 cents a piece. He spent the rest of the day cleaning and polishing them. The next day, he sold those apples for 20 cents. With his profit, he bought four apples at 5 cents a piece and spent the rest of the day cleaning and polishing them. The next day, he sold those apples for 40 cents. With his profit, he bought eight apples at 5 cents a piece and spent the rest of the day cleaning and polishing them.

      The next day, his daddy gave him an apple orchard.

      Christian Socialist

    2. My husband ran a tutoring business while he was in college in the ’90s. Many of his students were from wealthy families, and he would agree with your assessment of their lack of intelligence. He used to say that his cat’s litterbox had more brains than the heads of his wealthy students.

  7. so listening to Trump’s speech last night about how stupid anyone is in believing Ben Carson’s redemption story–will this be Trump’s downfall with evangelicals and fundamentalists? To doubt and question someone’s conversion story was never allowed when I was in fundy world…..I was even told when witnessing–tell your testimony–no one can argue that….Trump seems to be threatening that.

    1. Ben Carson is running into issues because the people who claim to know him well don’t back up all the pieces of his testimony. So, Carson claims media persecution, which is what all candidates do when they realize they have been put under the microscope in our wired world.

      I appreciate personal testimonies, and I value my own and the way Jesus radically transformed my life. However, the evangelical world loves to parade their own media darlings around, based on their life-changing stories of salvation. Too many times, the stories turn out to be too good to be true, and sometimes just lies (Mike Warnke comes to mind), and evangelicals beat a hasty retreat, until the next flavor of the month comes along.

      1. I completely agree. I am finding issues with Carson’s credibility and with his lack of trust in experts in certain fields. But it seems that Trump is on shaky ground…..for fundamentalists and evangelicals–personal testimonies are sacred.

      2. I appreciate personal testimonies, and I value my own and the way Jesus radically transformed my life. However, the evangelical world loves to parade their own media darlings around, based on their life-changing stories of salvation.

        And rally to their defense with Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory cries of “PERSECUTION!!!” when they are exposed.

    2. Dear Leanne:

      After he told us, ‘yall are making too much money,’ the surprising thing about Donald Trump may be that any intelligent person would listen to him at all…

      Christian Socialist

        1. Imagine how it feels to live in the same state as the Bushes and Dick Cheney.
          I was even briefly a member of the same local church as George W. and Laura Bush.
          … And the bastards at my undergraduate alma mater tore down my childhood home to make part of the parking lot for the Bush Presidential Library.
          Yes, I know about struggling to love a neighbor.

        2. Fundies put down the message of love that they feel is wishy washy from the mainline denominations. But when I was in fundyland–I had no problem abstaining from drinking, watching rated r movies or listening to godless music. I also didn’t grow spiritually….
          Now that I have left fundyland–I find the message of Jesus to be a lot harder to live out–because it calls me to love with all that I am–including my thoughts–people who I really deeply passionately disagree with over issues and practice of faith and politics. But I also know the grace of Jesus a lot deeper now.

        3. In Fundystan, I would have no reason to love anyone who disagrees with me because if you disagree with me, you are WRONG!! Sinner! Condemned. Bound for hell. Period. End of Argument.

        4. PS. In Fundystan,, The whole point of “Grace” is to get you to pray the Sinner’s Prayer” to get you “Saved” (with a capital “S”) so you will follow all of the Laws and Rules.
          (To a certain extent this was true of the Ulster Protestantism which was part of my upbringing)

      1. Kind of like when Obama told self made business owners “you didn’t build that”, he still won.

        1. That quote is wrenched radically out of context. The whole speech was about how a person doesn’t build a successful business all alone, but depends on public infrastructure such as transportation systems, public education, public law enforcement, and much more. No one person or one family or one company built all that. It’s a very valid and politically relevant point.

        2. I’ve become fond of Obama because he’s willing to point out stuff like this: that the rugged individual would never actually make it alone, and that we’re a nation so diverse that it’s really unfair to call us “Christian”. His politics aside, he’s said some very lucid if unpopular things over the years, and I appreciate that.

    3. Seems a lot of fundies and evangelicals are as uncomfortable with Carson’s religion, Seventh Day Adventism, as they were with Romney’s Mormonism.

      1. I really do not understand the ability for many of the fundies I know to support Romney or Carson. All the time I was part of fundyland, mormons and seventh day adventists were called cults. And Catholics were not fit to lead us–so neither were those cultists….and the mainline was of the devil–so no one was good enough…but suddenly Romney and Carson has become ok for them. There is no logic to the fundy mindset.

        1. It has now become all about the political agenda. All the things that the religious right claims to hold dear get tossed aside if something advances that agenda. Hardcore Catholics, Mormons, and Seventh Day Adventists are OK because they are political allies.

        2. All the time I was part of fundyland, mormons and seventh day adventists were called cults.

          Mormonism ceased to be a CULT CULT CULT halfway through 2012, when Romney became The Great White Hope. (After the crash-and-burn of so many GAWD’s Choices for Prez in the primaries.) Don’t know if Mormonism went back to being a CULT CULT CULT the day after the general election.

    4. Carson’s problem is that his main selling point up to now has been his inspiring life story. Now that it’s becoming obvious that large chunks of that story were either made up out of whole cloth or at least wildly exaggerated, his supporters look like suckers.

      Trump has his own dodgy relationship to the truth, so he’s an odd one to be holding Carson’s feet to the fire, but Trump probably has less to lose from being fact-checked, because being a relentless bullshitter fits in pretty well with The Donald’s bombastic, hustler image, so people who like that image are less likely to mind that it’s about 95% hot air.

    5. We questioned conversion stories all the time. If somebody wasn’t toeing the line, if their transformation was short of miraculous, immediate, and striking, if maybe they smoked, drank, or used the occasional swear word by accident, then their possessing the Holy Spirit was in doubt. And if they don’t have the spirit (evidenced by their persistent flaws and maybe a lack of overflowing and constant bubbly “joy” and perhaps a questioning of the party line), well, then they weren’t actually saved. Or at least, it was better to beware and steer clear of too much social interaction (the church often stopped short of outright declaring them unsaved, but they would just tell you to be careful, code for “do not associate”). They were definitely black-listed from the acceptable date list.

  8. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend” ??

    I just don’t know.

    Election time is scary. You have to face the fact of how superficial many peoples’ reasoning processes are.

    1. Dear Shy1:

      My thinking is, ‘if elections mattered, they’d never be allowed.’

      That may be superficial, but it may be mildly reassuring knowing that elections change little.


      Christian Socialist

  9. Dear Darrell,

    In response to your hover text, I just have to ask isn’t being a TV preacher a line of business?

    Creflo Dollar, Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, etc.

    TIILS, AKA The Queen of Skepticism

    1. Great video. I guess it remains to be seen if the interest translates into votes.

      It feels like we’re heading into idiocracy.

      Next thing, will the presidency be a reality show?

    2. Dear Dr. KeepOn (PhD):

      ‘One study showed that the media itself is the main generator of Trump’s political rise. Before his announcement of candidacy, the billionaire was mentioned in only 4 percent of articles covering the Republican campaign. From the day he entered the race, this figure shot up to 30 percent and has remained at 20 to 30 percent ever since.’

      July 24, 2015
      in ‘Donald Trump: The Ugly Face of Capitalist Politics’
      by Patrick Martin
      for the World Socialist Web Site

      Christian Socialist

      PS: Does that bright, young man in the video know that bringing down a system isn’t exactly helpful unless you have something to put in its place?

      1. It strikes me as unsurprising that articles about the presidential race are more likely to mention someone when he is an announced candidate than when he is not an announced candidate.

        Now if we were talking about coverage of irritating jackasses in general (not just the ones running for President), the surge in coverage might be more remarkable.

      2. But Young Idealists DO have a system to put in its place:

    3. Integrity, honesty and engagement from politicians, the news media and the public?


      Not going to happen. Let’s be honest with ourselves whether we believe Trump to be the perfect fundamentalist or no.

    4. The idea that if we just get someone terrible enough in power, people will finally demand reforms has been around for generations, but history shows it to be erroneous more often than not.

        1. “…..from the coonskin hat on top of ol’ Dan to the heel of his rawhide shoe, was the rippin’est roarin’est fightin’est man….”…no, wait, that was Daniel Boone.

    1. As a fan of the Muppets, I think that any dead muppet dwarves to be treated with more respect than to be placed on top of the Donald’s over-inflated noggin.

    2. Pardon my language for a second. Penn Gillette had a great quote on Trumps Hair. (He was on Celebrity Apprentice) “It looks like someone made cotton candy out of piss”

  10. None of the Republican candidates seems to have any practical claim to Christianity. Rather, they appeal to all that the Bible seems to condemn — greed, lust, anger, malice, hatred, envy, prejudice, injustice. Ted Cruz openly revels in his endorsement by a “minister” who advocates putting gay people to death. Ben Carson says he wants to criminalize “liberal” speech, banning it entirely from college campuses.

    Frankly, I cannot find one quality in any of them that they actually share with the Lord Jesus. But all of them exemplify the worst of fundamentalism.

    If any of this crew gets elected President, I think we liberals will be in great danger.

    1. Sounds like a potential Theocracy to me. That’s why I’m scared for the future of America. America is so powerful, in terms of military might, cultural influence, economic clout, even religion ( half of all Christian missionaries working around the world are from the US ) that what happens there will have a profound effect on every aspect of the rest of the world.

      1. Ah, the Perfect Restored Christian America of The Handmaid’s Tale. And every one of them KNOWS that THEY are to be the True Supreme Commander of Holy Gilead.
        “GOD WILLS IT!”

    2. They rail against political correctness, but on the other hand they seem to want to trade it for religious correctness.

  11. To Hell with every single one of ’em…Republican and Democrat.

    Give me a reason to vote for anyone.


    That’s what I thought!

    1. Vote for somebody. Vote for whoever you loathe the least. Elections with low voter turnout tend to put jackasses in office because the bloc of voters best described as upset and gullible shows up while everyone else stays home.

      Checked out Bernie Sanders yet?

      1. Sanders?

        No, I’ve not checked out a single candidate as of yet. I’m tired of all the crap spewing out of their mouths.

        But for you, Jenny Islander, I will look into Sanders more closely. What is it about him that has caught your attention?

  12. The Fundies in my world seems split between Ted Cruz and Ben Carson. Trump seems to have lost some steam with them.

    1. So we’re stuck between a creepier version of Grandpa Munster and the guy who, should we face a national food crisis, would consider building pyramids a viable option.

      Is it too late to move to someplace sane? Maybe North Korea?

      1. At least grandpa munster was real. north korea is a bit chilly this time of year and the phrase “having a friend for lunch” has had different connotations when things have got really tough, but yeah, Kim il Siing and his dynasty have been more sane, and it’s more attractive.

  13. If you really want to scare yourself, consider how much Ted Cruz looks like Joe McCarthy and Pat Buchanan.

  14. David Gibbs III was involved in the Terry Schiavo case…IIRC, he even hawked his book at my former Fundy church while guest speaking.
    For those Fundies supporting Ben Carson, the plot thickens:

    “Asked about Bush’s intervention by the Tampa Bay Times on Friday, Carson said the governor should have stayed out the Schiavo case.

    “I said at the time, ‘We face those kinds of issues all the time and while I don’t believe in euthanasia, you have to recognize that people that are in that condition do have a series of medical problems that occur that will take them out,’ ” Carson explained. “Your job is to keep them comfortable throughout that process and not to treat everything that comes up.”

    Pressed on whether Bush should have involved himself, Carson said the case should never have come before the governor, particularly since doctors deal with life and death issues everyday.”

    1. As I said before, Carson seems to be competent at medicine. He’s just stupid about nearly evrything else.

      1. I wouldn’t trust him concerning medicine any more. He may *have been* competent as a neurosurgeon “once upon a time”, but I doubt it very much now.

        He is a consummate liar, now. Being a liar in so many things means he is completely untrustworthy. He even claims to have tried to kill people — and the religious conservatives seem to love him all the more for being “manly” or some such trash.

        And I wonder if his desperate desire for political power and advantage hasn’t somehow twisted him so that he couldn’t be competent at anything where he used to be competent. It has been suggested that he might actually be mentally ill or even insane.

        It wouldn’t be the first time an insane person gained power, now would it?

        1. Could Carson do neurosurgery on all the candidates, including himself. I forgot- he didn’t do woodwork

        2. I don’t think there has ever been a successful spine transplant, or I would advocate them for almost all the Democratic members of Congress.

        3. Well, in general I’d say the Dems have more brains but less spine, less courage. The Repubs have no brains but lots of spine. Honestly, the Republican debates are like a zombie holocost.

          I really like Bernie. I don’t care for Hillary.

        4. RTG, I agree. The Dems mostly know better, but don’t have the backbone and the gumption to do right. While the Republicans are hell-bent on destruction, many of them quite fearlessly.

    2. Funny thing is, Carson is Seventh Day Adventist, which the same Fundies denounce as a CULT CULT CULT.

      But then in 2012, Mormons suddenly became Real True Christians once Romney became The Great White Hope (after a GOP primary season of GAWD’s Anointed after GAWD’s Anointed crashing and burning to a baby-dinosaur chorus of “NOT THE MORMON! NOT THE MORMON! NOT THE MORMON!”)

      1. Well now, I admit that I *do* care. I care very much. I care in the same sense that Paul tells us, praying that we might live quite and peaceable lives in all godliness and dignity (I Timothy 2:2).

        And that won’t happen under Carson, Trump, or any of the Republican crowd. It might not happen with anyone. But it is certain that every one of the Republicans favors moving the country to a theocracy.

        Frankly, I am not willing to give my conscience to the government, and certainly not to one run by lunatic “pastors” or preachers or screechers. I want individuals to have the widest possible guarantees of individual liberties and I want corporations to have enough restrictions to force them to play honestly and not act as rulers in the personal lives of their employees. I want people to be able to earn decent wages at meaningful jobs.

        Right now the system is totally broken. There is no righteousness in the system Conservative Christians support. As a person who wants to follow Jesus, I think we need to push for change in the here and now to make whatever we can better.

        So yes, I care.

        1. Evangelical Christianity has become disgusting to me. They seem to revel when wages for the average person are low. They cheer high corporate profits, no matter how they are obtained. Can’t afford healthcare, too bad, it sucks to be you. There is no compassion or empathy for anyone but themselves. They demand the right to discriminate in the name of religious freedom.

          What the hell has happened?

        2. Even though Christians arn’t supposed to believe in Evolution, many have accepted a very strong belief in q particularly brutal form of Social Darwinism. The words of Jesus about looking after the poor, sick, helpless, widows,and orphans are only for the wishy-washy compromising “Social Gospel” types. 🙁

        3. Actually, I don’t think it is required that Christians don’t believe in Evolution. That is like saying Christians can’t believe in evidence. (And no, 2 Corinthians 4:18 is not about rejecting physical evidence!)

          But your point is well taken. The ones who supposedly reject evolution have firmly embraced Social Darwinism in a fierce “survival of the fittest” (read “rich”) mentality, and the Book of James be damned.

          Which means, according to the same Book of James, that their faith is dead and that they are “earthly, sensual, devilish.” I concur.

        4. The same kind of Social Darwinism has been embraced my many over here in Northern Ireland and more so in Britain, although it might not be as blatant among Christians here as it is in America. More subtle, maybe?

      2. But your point is well taken. The ones who supposedly reject evolution have firmly embraced Social Darwinism in a fierce “survival of the fittest” (read “rich”) mentality, and the Book of James be damned.

        Damned and Superseded by The Book of (Ayn) Rand.

  15. I agree with Simple, evangelical Christians revel when wages are low and cheer when corporate profits are high. I can’t seem to get a good grasp in this though. Most fundy pew sitters are on the lower end of middle class America. If wages jncreased then they would tithe more giving the MoG more money, power, and control. Maybe it’s because people in higher tax brackets are harder to control and they are afraid of loosing their totalitarian grip they have on the congregation.

    1. Fundagelicalism has been in bed with the anti-labor movement since at least the 1950’s (probably before). Billy Graham, staunchly anti-union, climbed under the sheets with the wealthy industrialists, and with US presidents (beginning with Ike). All were anti-organized labor.

      I strongly recommend the book “One Nation Under God” but Princeton history prof Kevin Kruse. This book lays it all out.

  16. Regarding list item #8:
    Let’s not forget that Mr. “I’ll build a great wall at the border and make Mexico pay for it” has his line of clothing made in overseas sweatshops, instead of letting American workers have the jobs.

    1. Of this the article has persuaded me: Ted Cruz has not read beyond “My Dear Fellow Clergymen” in MLK’s “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.” He should shut up about it until he has read it.

  17. Someone here play out what could happen if Trump actually became the president of the United States…good and bad.

    Could he be any worse than any other candidate trying to win the big job?

    On the other hand, what says anyone here on what could happen if Clinton actually became president? It’s a two-way street.

    1. Hence, nobody has dared answer your question before your prophetic utterance! Now, we all are asking this question.

  18. Sound bite bumpers showing up on drive-time radio, probably excerpts from a parody song:


    (Difference between Ross Perot 1992 and The Trump 2015 is that Trump’s gotten farther than Ross and explicitly states the latter; in ’92 my retired parents read the latter into Ross’s generic “everything will be perfect, Just Trust Me”. Thing about Messiah Politics — you never let yourself be pinned down on anything, just present the generic benevolent god figure dealing entirely in feel-good generics (“Hope! Change! HopeChange!”) and let your followers BE-LEEVE you WILL bring about their personal Unicorns Farting Rainbows and Free Ice Cream.)

    1. P.S. And Trump DOES have one thing going for him with this crowd:
      He Is LOUD!
      As in (Preach, Brother, Preach! HAY-MENN!)

  19. Trump is a clown and it really goes to show how fed up or stupid the American people are. Probably both.

    Rand Paul makes the most sense of anyone on the stage. He is a true conservative who believes in tackling the national debt.

    1. Well, Paul Rand is also very much against civil rights for every one. He has proposed allowing open discrimination against blacks and others by “private” business. He says he is against corporate welfare, but he wants to cut their taxes so much it would make government impossible to function, much less guarantee clean air or water, safe food, fair treatment on the job, etc.

  20. Another reason Donald Trump might be some Fundamentalist’s idea of the perfect candidate, is because when it comes to serious issues, he appears to have mastered the art of MOg cooking.

    For example: How to make Fundy Pretzels

    1 teaspoon of truth
    1/4 cup of logic
    1 lb. Absurd nonsense
    1 Stick of demagoguery (as a leavening agent)
    2 cups of dirty water

    Mix ingredients thoroughly in an empty tub of lard. Dump contents onto table and massage and knead the dough. Then, by hand, stretch the material to a preposterously extreme length before cutting and then twisting into shape. Cook until half baked and sprinkle with hate and pomposity to taste.
    Serves no one*

    1. Perfect description!

      I am so disgusted that Trump is leading the Republican field. He tickles their ears – just like the Mannogawd!

      1. Donald Trump is actually a bright guy. Unfortunately, instead of using his presidential run as an opportunity to propose intelligent and humane ways of addressing the challenges our country faces, he appears to be going out of his way to insult people and to draw attention to himself for, well, the sake of drawing attention to himself. A co-worker referred to Donald Trump as a” payaso,” that is, a clown. It’s hard to argue with that.

      1. Paul,
        The recipe could be improved upon with a rewrite that, among other things, includes changing the quantity of demagoguery from a stick to a package. Unfortunately I am currently prevented from doing this by inertia. There was also no warning about the risk of regurgitation following consumption of this product.

        Anyway, I’m flattered that you think this is worth stealing, so by all means, uh, steal away.

        1. See, that’s why you need to write stuff down! You think you remembered everything and then you find out you forgot an ingredient. In fairness though, as time went on, the orange faded.

          And another thing, here I was thinking that I had perhaps written my last comment and then you go and post something funny.

  21. “7. Wants to pay everybody the same way most fundies pay their staff.”

    I remember hearing NUMEROUS times from the pulpit how paying any church staff except the pastor (never needed to say “senior pastor”, because “associate pastors” were liberal compromise) was actually morally evil. Because of reasons. I can’t even remember them now . . .

  22. How come I don’t know any people like the ones writing these comments? How come all I know are pastors who say Trump’s wife’s porn pictures are pretty. Yes, pretty. And Trump is a go getter guy (Jonathan Crosby). How come all I know is church goers who hate anything democratic and love Trump, people who would vote Hitler in if he was a republican. People who talk about values and moral character but still vote for Trump.

    1. At the same time, the accusations of hypocrisy directed at those who preached “values and moral character” and then voted for Trump could just as easily be leveled against those sanctimonious folk who voted for Hillary. Donald Trump might come across as a vulgar, bombastic narcissist who exhibited an unsettling lack of self control throughout most of the campaign, but Hillary Clinton is ruthless, power hungry, and, avaricious. However, since it’s unfair to Trump to focus only on her better qualities, it should be pointed out that she’s also dishonest, bellicose, and corrupt. Who knows, maybe none of us who voted for either of these two walked away with clean hands

      Some people as a matter of conscience voted for one of the minor party candidates or else wrote in a name. Others stayed home to bask in the warmth of their own self-righteousness at not having been a party to elevating either of these two to the presidency. On the other hand, many more thought this election was important enough not to let principles get in the way of voting.

      In any case, it’s worth remembering that Mr. Trump is not going to usher in either the Millennium or a new Dark Ages. Maybe we can all agree to hope for the best.

  23. Darrell,

    This is a slightly modified email address. I’m requesting to be added to the blog under this email with the same user name and avatar since I cannot access the usual features (shout out box, email, search, contact) after I pressed some formatting feature.

    Thank you,


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