Category Archives: Odds and Ends

Friday Challenge

Fill in the blank…

If ___________________ you might be a fundamentalist.

A few to get started…

If you’ve ever had your pastor sign your Bible…

If you’ve ever heard a testimony where someone got saved by reading the Living Bible, and you started wondering if they are really saved after all…

If your children rarely get to watch the end of a movie because someone said a bad word…

If you still think there’s a pretty good chance that Gorbachev is the Anti-Christ…

If you’ve ever worn culottes to the beach…

If your wife has to wear a homemade camouflaged skirt down to her ankles when she goes deer hunting with you…

If your pastor counts pregnant women twice when reporting church attendance…

You are probably a fundamentalist.

(Thanks to the fine folks over at PCCboard from whom I borrowed liberally)

Providing Independent Baptist Alternatives to Internet Phenomena

nosocialnetworkingThe great thing about the Internet is that it brings a great diverse group of people together to collaborate, talk, and share information. Unless, of course, you’re a fundamentalist. They don’t generally like having to interact with diversity preferring rather to create their own enclaves of Christianity.

With the growing popularity of social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace, it was only a matter of time until an enterprising fundy decided to provide a much cleaner, more wholesome alternative — and try to make a little cash in the process. By this shall all men know that ye are His disciples, that ye form your own exclusive clubs and keep the sinners at bay.

Newly on the scene to stand in this internet gap is Edify One Another an IFB social networking site which states “As Independent Baptists, God has burdened us to create a place online that was separated from the world, but utilize the cutting edge technological advances to promote spiritual growth thru the fellowship of the saints online.” Finally an answer to the question “What Would Hyles Download?”

The best part? You can access to all of this for only $9.97 per month!

Online separation: only the holy may click here.

Prophet’s Chambers

prophetschamberFundamentalist missionaries, evangelists, and traveling speakers are well acquainted with the phenomenon of the prophet’s chamber. The prophet’s chamber is ostensibly a few rooms set aside to accommodate itinerant folks who are visiting the church for a short time. The name comes from the Old Testament era as does most of the furniture donated for the visitors to use.

Just about any space can be given the title of prophet’s chamber. It may be a room or two in the bowels of the church basement, a room above a deacon’s garage, or even an ancient travel trailer parked out back. (“You’ll have to walk down to the church building to use the bathroom. Make sure you dress warmly, it’s supposed to be -37 tonight.”)

By Baptist law, the prophet’s chamber must also contain at least one 1960’s era pull-out couch bed guaranteed to ensure that the occupant will need chiropractic care immediately after leaving. Thankfully, there will also be at least two copies of Israel My Glory, a Sword Scrapbook, and a book of sermons by John R. Rice on the nightstand available for use if the guests have problems falling asleep.

Elijah only wishes that he could have had such creature comforts.