The church bookstore is a long-standing fundamentalist tradition. Where else can you conveniently purchase eight books and assorted pamphlets written by the pastor himself, a delightful assortment of Footprints bookmarks, fish-shaped breath mints, and a smorgasbord of those little rubber coin purses with KJV bible verses stamped on the front? (Wait, do they even make those little coin purses anymore? Hey, it looks like they do!
The church bookstore is also sanctified from the law of the Sabbath which states that “no good Christian may do business on the Sabbath day unless that business is frequenting an all-you-can-eat buffet.” This special dispensation for restaurants is widely recognized as the exception of the “ox in the ditch” — only the ox in this case is smothered in onions and served with a baked potato. It only stands to reason that you’d have to make an exception to the no-business-on-Sunday rule for the church store; it’s when most of the customers show up.
Whether it’s an entire room or just one table in the back of the auditorium, the bookstore is one-stop shopping for all your fundy merchandising needs. Be sure to check out the new selection of Wordless Book pencils and preaching cassette tapes.
