“Old-time” “Religion”

I wonder if he realizes that printed books are a relatively new technology?

That verse about the “great men” is starting more and more to be used in the same breath as the one about “old paths.”

225 thoughts on ““Old-time” “Religion””

    1. My second first!! Who says 2015 has been a waste?
      You have to appreciate how fundies appropriate scriptures to prop up their traditions and their own systems. The landmarks that were set in scripture were not hymns and the traditions of fundamentalists. But they never have been big on the understanding Scripture within its context.

  1. Trieber seems to place his trust in works, a particular version of the Bible in book form, and his Fundy traditions.

    Christians trust in Jesus.

    BTW, is he taking a swipe at his college rival down in Lancaster?

  2. “when you gotcha ipad out i have no idea what you are doing while i am trying to preach god’s word”

    the REAL reason why he prefers the book to the ipad…

      1. That is precisely the reason I have grown to prefer the iPad during church. Thankfully my pastor tends to cite sources during the sermon and recommend resources for further study.

        1. I think the iPad is a tool of the devil and would not think of using one in church.

          I use a Samsung tablet, usually open to the NASB and a couple of different commentaries.

        2. Wouldn’t it be great if a pastor said something ridiculous like “Accreditation doesn’t matter…Even Harvard is not accredited!” and the whole congregation immediately went to their phones and ipads to confirm? That sure would keep them more honest, or maybe help open up the congregation’s eyes to the truth.

      2. I don’t know if he is concerned about fact checking, but if one is browsing the Internet or playing games, one is not listening to the message.

        It’s very easy to get distracted, even if you tell yourself you will only look up the one thing.

        I don’t mind tablets or phones; I think the preacher that asks people to put them in “airplane mode” during services is wise (people on call are an exception to the rule).

        1. I think in a lecture/entertainment setting it is reasonable that phones be set to silent. That’s common courtesy, whether you’re in a movie theater or a school committee meeting.

          Just because I don’t have a Kindle or phone on my lap during a sermon doesn’t mean I’m paying attention. If I do have one it doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention. To think that inattention, apathy, or boredom are only because of electronic devices is ridiculous. To think that having a printed book in hand is a magic amulet that makes me soak in everything that is said is to tread on shaky ground.

        2. I used to think that the preacher setting rules about what people were doing during church was reasonable. Now I just think that as long as you’re being quiet and non-distracting, you’re good. Asking people to set their tablets and phones on airplane mode is actually pretty controlling and there’s no REAL reason for it aside from that you can’t stand the idea of people’s attention being elsewhere, and you think that your people aren’t adult and mature enough to behave appropriately in church.

        3. I find it distracting when phones ring.

          Someone next to me playing games on their iPad is also distracting.

          I have a friend who is on call, and he always sits in the back of the church so as not to disturb others when he gets called.

          I don’t think of it is controlling, but just courteous.

        4. I am on call 24/7 with a RR. I set my phone on vibrate and put it in my shirt pocket and try to sit where I can get out easily. ……

        5. It’s courteous to try to minimize your own distracting activities. It’s controlling for the pastor to ask that everyone disable the connectivity on their phone. Somebody might need to receive a text from the nursery, use an online Bible or commentary, take notes in Google Docs, etc. Many people function almost entirely online with their devices, and many churches are getting wifi to accommodate this. Personally, if I had to sit still, not look at other things, not take notes or doodle or something that others might potentially find distracting, I’d be completely miserable. I’d be best off if I could sit and knit or do something else creative with my hands, but most people frown on that sort of activity in a service. I used to knit on Sunday nights because there weren’t as many people there, but I’d always sit several pews away from others–not so much as to not be distracting but so that people hopefully wouldn’t notice and comment. It took my listening abilities from maybe a 5 to a 9.

          So when us fidgety types are engaging in activities that don’t look like listening, it’s often best to assume that that’s the only way we can listen.

        6. Amen from this teacher! Some of my most “distracted” students are the ones who think the deepest.

          I also have to be honest that I will never get the attention of everyone. As long as you aren’t a major distraction to others, I leave people alone. If I’m doing a good job, most will be on board with me.

        7. I play games on my phone in church sometimes, or even do work. Hey, my time is valuable, and if the homily is boring I reserve the right to do whatever the hell I want. I try to be discreet in the interest of others, though.

        8. Dear Dr. Fundystan,
          If you’re listening to a ‘homily’ you must be in a librul church.
          Sincerely,
          BJg

        9. Actually, BLg, he’s hot just in a “librul” church; he’s in a LITURJAKAL CHURCH where the pasters ware the cloze that the wimminz are only ‘spozed to ware.

          Best pray for the pore fella….

        10. Linn, do you think that his church has a priest that waves that smoke in the air? I’ve heard that’s wacky tobacky.

        11. My Anglican aunt, who often criticized my step-dad’s “ritualistic” Catholicism took us to her church for a special saint’s day. The incense was so thick we left choking!

        12. Vibrate or silent? Yes. Airplane? Absofreakinglutely not. Though with my provider, that doesn’t really matter.

        13. I, too, am on call, so my phone goes on vibrate and in my shirt pocket.

          This has been an interesting discussion.

          I agree that even if one has a Bible open in one’s lap, that doesn’t mean one is paying attention.

          I go to church to learn; I try to listen even if I am bored (that doesn’t happen often with our current church; at the HAC church, it was a regular occurrence). If I wanted to play games, I would leave.

        14. My church actually encourages smartphone use by putting their sermon notes and points on the YouVersion Bible app so you can follow along. They also have their own personalized app with sermon notes and announcements, replacing the paper bulletin. So I usually have my paper Bible (personal preference, I like to write in the margins) and my phone.

        15. I find it odd that so many people, on hearing a ringtone or a baby crying, turn and stare as if that’s the first time they’ve heard such a sound. I get that it is distracting, but the distraction is compounded by those who must make it known that they are distracted, no?

        16. I so, so, so cannot relate to this. We’re always asked to silence our phones during Mass, and it has never struck me as control-freaky. (I direct-reported to a textbook-case control freak for over 13 years, so believe me, I know control freakery.)

          I guess if I attended church services that basically consisted of getting ranted at by the preacher, then yes, I would want to be playing on my phone. But the Liturgy is just a whole different thing. Thank God!!

          And Roll Tide!

        17. Forgot to set my phone on vibrate recently…”Who Let The Dogs Out” …one of my finer moments at church…Roll Tide!

        18. I suppose having a bible open in front of you *looks* more holy, especially if it has a black leather binding and gold-edged pages (which, actually, is the *only* kind of bible allowed in many of these churches)

    1. Because there’s no possible way to not pay attention if you have one of those literal book things in your lap.

      1. The great Sunday morning irony of my childhood: being praised for my general knowledge of scripture while being shamed for not paying attention to sermons because of reading during them. The two things were entirely connected.

    2. Keep trying Jack, maybe some day some time, some where, some how you will stumble across the Gospel and you will realize the Law you love and worship leads only to death. Maybe too,you will then replace Jack Treiber with Jesus Christ. (Hey, I still believe in miracles )

    3. Why does he have to know? Goodness, let the Spirit do what the Spirit does. Treiber would find rest and peace if he would quit micromanaging the Spirit’s work.

  3. Bless his heart.
    I wonder if the fundys in days of yore ever preached against the evils of the printing press.

    1. @formerHACgirl: You asked for it; see below (in the early days, printing press had lots of errors)

      You didn’t get these kind of egregious errors with hand-written documents! No, sir! An error like “Thou shalt commit adultery” would have never made it through if the Scripture was being hand-copied. And these new-fangled printing presses can church out hundreds of erroneous copies long before one catches the error. Even if a hand-written copiest made that kind of an error, it wouldn’t send out hundreds or thousands of copies — just the one.

      Besides, you never know what evil filth that printing press may have been printing; it may have printed pornography or atheist works (or even SFL). Do you want that some press printing your Holy Scripture? I don’t think so.

      Finally, have you seen that soul-less, mechanical output? Everything is so dull compared to the colorful, embroidered, elegant work of a hand copy? Clearly, the hand-copy is superior and only backslidden Christians would use something that come off of a printing press!

      1. Even if a hand-written copiest made that kind of an error, it wouldn’t send out hundreds or thousands of copies — just the one.
        Yeah, nope. That is precisely what happened to the New Testament, especially the Byzantine family.

    1. “And God said to Moses “come forth!” But he came fifth and didn’t even get a drink”

  4. Oh I needed a good laugh thank you Darrell.

    Its odd though, it seems that my family is much stronger now than it was when we were in the fundies

  5. Why doesn’t he dress like CH Spurgeon? Or Jonathan Edwards? Or the Apostle Paul? Not very old time in his suit

      1. Which is interesting since people were clamoring for the Old Time religion in the 1930’s. Since it was already a common term, they would have considered the ’50’s to be newfangled.

    1. Or I’ll bet he doesn’t heat with coal or wood, or have outhouses out behind, or light the place with coal oil lamps, or carry in water by bucket from the well or creek. Hmmm, he probably even has red lit emergency exit signs in the building, ,,,,disgusting. He too is a liberal modernist me thinks.

        1. He is quite the anomaly for NorCal–you have to go a long way to find another one and/or church his.

        2. They’re the same person in two bodies.
          Like the Trinity, except there’s two of them.

        3. Hmm, if Chappell and Trieber each have half a soul (one split between the two of them) and half a wit, that would explain a lot.

        4. I thought Trieber was taking a backhanded slap at Chappell (and WCBC) in the video because Chappell re-purposes CCM (removing the beat), and loves big screens and technology. If you look at LBC youth meetings, the venue now resembles something you would have seen at Rick Warren’s church 15 years ago (you know fundies always have to be 10-20 years behind a trend). Gotta attract those teens to WCBC…

  6. Old Time Religion = All the things that I’ve always done, which I’ll guilt and manipulate you into doing.

    1. For most people, sacred tradition = things we’ve been doing for a year or more.

  7. He doesn’t REALLY know what people are doing with their Bibles – I used to doodle on the bulletin, then I graduated to drawing paper and elaborate designs, all while pretending to take notes

    1. Actually, the Hyles-Anderson brand of fundy was against taking pen and paper to church, too. I heard Hyles, Schaap, Allen Domelley, and Jeff Owens (15-17 years ago) tell us to put down our pen and just listen. We didn’t need to take notes, just buy the tape. How could we hear the voice of the Holy Ghost through them, if we busy trying to write down every word they said! No chance of that happening, by the way. There was literally nothing to take notes about anyway!
      They claimed that writing down what you were listening to hindered you from remembering it. I think they got it backwards, but, anywho. . .
      Since Trieber is a product of Hyles, I would be surprised if he encouraged note – taking while he was preaching.
      How would he know what people were really writing, after all?

      1. The problem with note-taking is that it makes it easier to hold a speaker accountable for what he (not she, in these churches) said previously.

  8. “Let us worship Aphrodite!
    She is beautiful but flighty
    And she doesn’t wear a nightie,
    But she’s good enough for me!

    Chorus: Give me that old time religion. . .”

    If you’re going with “old time,” go all the way.

  9. these boys are miscegenated, these boys ain’t white, they ain’t even old timey!

    Is you is, or is you ain’t my constituency?

  10. Gotta keep that hymnbook and throw out those iPads! This reminds me so much of the Southern churches I went to as a kid. When I was really young, I was told that putting anything on top of the Bible was a symbol to God that it was more important (or an idol) than “the Word”. For several years I was terrified to put anything on top of the Bible because I thought God would be mad at me.

    HAVE A GOOD DAY!

    1. I just looked over at my Bible and there’s a dictionary on top of it. But then my Bible is the New Oxford Annotated Study Bible (NRSV).

    2. When he yelled HAVE A GOOD DAY it seemed like what he was really saying was:

      F&@K YOU IF YOU DISAGREE!

      1. Is it just me, or did anyone else think his use of the word “friend” also come across as insincere?

        By the way, didn’t the Pharisees think Jesus of Nazareth was going to ruin everything?

    1. I love you, BamaMan! Roll Tide!!

      That’s basically how I want to answer everything these days.

      “How are you?”

      “Roll Tide!”

      Yes, just a wee bit obsessed. So, I come here to hang with my similarly obsessed homie.

      But have we got an amazing team this year, or what? That loss to Ole Miss now seems like such an anomaly.

      Don’t want to count those chickens before they hatch, but…Roll Tide!

  11. I’m pretty sure the passages about ancient landmarks are talking about cheating the vulnerable out of their land by moving the boundary stones marking off property dividers. It’s about justice for the poor, not about hymn books and paper Bibles.

    For that matter, I doubt the African Americans who first sang the song “Old Time Religion” in the mid 1800’s even used hymn books. So I’m pretty sure that’s not what the song is about.

    1. Why doesn’t anybody in IFB churches use that verse to preach against gerrymandering?

      Oh. Right.

    2. Yes, moving boundary markers was a way to steal land from your neighbors. That’s why it was forbidden.
      Even now, people attempt this method of land theft occasionally in some parts of the world.

  12. “…because by the grace of God, we’re not going to allow some new philosophy, Jude [?] tells us, to creep into our church and destroy us HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!”

    No New Testament, then?

  13. Could it be that what Jack Trieber is really interested in is “That Old Time Tradition?”
    Wasn’t that a great passive aggressive sign-off, by the way?

  14. Dear Jack:

    If perchance you see this, I encourage you to scour your ‘hymnbook’ for a solitary piece which incorporates patterns of Biblical truth more faithfully or with theological depth than is found in what I post below.

    Be sure to post your findings when you do, Jack!

    Christian Socialist

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmZJBD0GYqg

      1. Dear Fishticks:

        You are blessed to have a church where hymnody is valued.

        Christian Socialist

    1. This song is most likely in his hymnal. Never sung, but there. Just not the techno version. Which I find really grating, but if that’s your thing, you do you.

  15. King David’s hymn book is still used to this day, don’t you know.

    We must let people see us carry in our scrolls, uh, bibles, into church just like the ancient Israelis did every Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night so long ago.

    I’m glad the pulpit is still the center piece of corporate worship, just like it was in Jesus’ day.

    What would we do without the pews of Jeremiah’s time?

    The suit and tie is nearly as identical as what Paul wore.

    So, I must agree with the old man here in that we must not remove the great men or the ancient landmarks!

    1. Well, according to Steven Anderson, Paul and Jesus wore suits. So hey, we should to. Well, not *we*, but those of the male persuasion among us.

      His claim was that robes were invented by those sissy effeminate Muslims.

      1. Dear CaffeinatedSquirrel:

        OT scholar Meridith Kline contended that the priestly robes and ephod were designed to depict YHWH’s Shekinah Glory Temple. If that is so, Anderson has conceded a ton of good theology. But then, what would Anderson know of good theology…

        Blessings!

        Christian Socialist

  16. Gee, and he’s just up the freeway from me (golly , I’ll get in trouble for using gee…oh, darn!). Sorry, I’m snarky this morning.

    30 years ago I was a missionary in South America. I was pleased if the church had a blackboard, electricity and running water when I went out to do teacher training. Fast forward to 2015, and most of them have a copier, LCD projector, at least one laptop, and a number of people in the congregation have a smart phone. What they have been able to do with these devices in terms of disseminating the gospel and enhancing worship are incredible. They now have a country-wide teaching network that promotes seminars in major cities, all using Facebook. Seminar videos are often uploaded to YouTube for those who live farther out and can’t attend.

    The principles don’t change, but the technology can…and I personally believe that Jesus smiles when we use what He has given us to HIs glory.

    1. Oh, but see, that’s okay for them because they’re on the MISSION FIELD and those in mission field circumstances get special dispensation to break the rules. Tech was one area in which they always got special dispensation, as was dress and music. I remember how much the Chinese church was praised, and then it came out that there are a lot of female pastors in the Chinese church, but they explained it away as okay because there weren’t enough men. I’m not sure how that’s so since the Chinese church is supposedly so much stronger, better, and growing so much more rapidly than the American church. I’m also not sure how something the fundamentalist church teaches is straight from the devil is suddenly ok just because times are tough. Like, doesn’t God provide? Don’t you trust him?

      PS I’m totally ok with women pastors. I just think this is another case of double standards.

    2. My sister’s husband grew up In a strict branch of the Brethren. (Northern Ireland Style). My sister became Brethren after marrying, but they joined a less strict assembly. More than 30 years ago, They became part of Wycliffe Bible Translators which was tolerated by some Brethren, but not others, because it was not a strictly Brethren organisation, They were on deputation, during their first furlough, and invited to speak at one of the assemblies which was *extremely* strict but seemed to like Wycliffe – at least Philip would speak: women were to keep silent in church. The also had some “slides” or “transparencies” of their work in West Africa, and an ancient, very old-fashioned projector. Just before the service they were informed that use of the projector would not be permitted- it was “modern” and “worldly”. Have you no shame? They did allow Philip to speak though. That particular assembly is still in existence to this day, just about, but slowly dying, inch by inch, gasp by gasp. Even in these days, they refuse to use “worldly” “modern” atrocities as videos, DVDs, projectors. PowerPoint or computers. Sticking to the Old Paths.

    3. Linn, I live on the Brasil side of where Colombia, Peru & Brasil all come together, and I’m often in all three countries during a day. Leticia, Colombia & Tabatinga, Brasil are abutting cities with almost zero border control.

      The difference between the other two countries and Colombia is almost immediately apparent. Though all three corners of the respective countries are remote, the Colombian culture’s ideal of keeping all cities, no matter how distant, connected and standardized, benefitting from technology is in stark contrast.

      Colombia is a great place to live. Que chévere!

      1. I have worked on a couple of airplanes and a boat in Benjamin Constant, Brasil and visited a few times, always traveling through Leticia. My friends down there did all of their major shopping in Leticia. I miss the jewelry store that was near the Anaconda Hotel.
        I would like to go back, it is truly a beautiful area. I could also use a kilo of Sello Rojo.

        1. I loved my years in Colombia, but I was there for some of the worst of the car bombs, kidnappings, random murders, etc. I was actually unintentionally involved in some incidents, and most of my memories aren’t romantic. My memories are positive, because God was working there, both in my Colombian brethren and in me, but there was a lot of ugly stuff, too. Incidents like the most recent in Paris bring on nightmares.

  17. He’s hanging onto the trappings of religion which have nothing to do with the substance. The only reason for the era of his preference is that that’s what he’s used to and likes. The verse he draws on from the old testament is taken out of context and unconvincing. Beyond that, he offers no reason beyond “do this because this is what I like.”

    Every person prefers the styles of their own era. Aged people still dress and wear their hair as they did when they were young, by and large. It’s familiar and comfortable. This is a human trait, nothing to do with God or spirituality.

    My sister had a school friend back in the 60’s whose parents only allowed her to wear the styles of the 50’s- circle skirts, saddle oxfords and bobby sox. In their minds, those were the “right” styles because it’s what they grew up with. All it did was alienate their daughter from her peers. Both styles are now gone and passed. Styles, in and of themselves, have no significance.

    To be honest, I’ve seen the same close minded attitude in a disastrous church I attended, where they refused to sing any hymn that was older than the current generation. Music was not examined critically, if it was new, it was good, if it was old, it was “dead,” end of discussion.

    So many pastors see themselves as king of their own little domain. Their own preferences are the rule and no questions are to be asked.

    There is some awful music in “the old hymnal” and there is some awful music among the new offerings. Examining a piece of music for scriptural accuracy and musical value takes discernment. It exercises the brain, makes one examine the basis of his beliefs, stimulates wisdom. Each new piece of music is an opportunity to think and grow, as are all the choices we make in the course of life. When you stop thinking, your brain starts to atrophy.

    Sticking blindly with the styles of one particular era is how churches lose touch and become irrelevant. How many people want to listen to a pipe organ anymore?

    If your beliefs do not transcend one specific, narrow era of style in human time, how can they possibly deal with truth that transcends all time?

    1. Dear Wiz … er … Shy1:

      When Handel’s Hallelujah Course hit the charts, it was criticized because it was repetitive and theologically vacuous.

      Methinks you stuck your finger on a sore spot. Good for you!

      Blessings!

      Christian Socialist

        1. Dear Shy1:

          In your travels, you’ve collected some discerning wisdom. Even if you don’t think of yourself that way, it’s there. The impression of wisdom your post left motivated me to begin naming you, ‘Wize1’ rather than ‘Shy1.’ It attempted to combine a point with humor. Alas — like all jests explained …

          Blessings!

          Christian Socialist

  18. Why doesn’t he just admit that he doesn’t know how to use an IPad instead of condemning those who use them? Oh wait! That would require being humble which is something that fundies don’t know how to do.

    1. He admitted he couldn’t sing well which, unfortunately, is probably about all the humility we can expect to see or hear from him.

      1. He pretty much had to admit to not being able to sing after singing. Makes me laugh because that song was considered newfangled and “churchy” the later being the most condemning thing a Peeb could say about anything. Someone is bound to be more old-fashioned, no way we can keep back further than the Joneses.

  19. In some ways he is right. He is all about “American Religion” not the authentic body of christ.

    1. Dear Mykingdomforahorse:

      An interesting commentary on the great multitude John beheld from … where were they from? Oh yeah … every tribe, people and nation.

      Blessings!

      Christian Socialist

      PS: I’m sure you noticed the flag in the corner behind him. Imagine telling him that the gospel is NOT Christ AND Caesar, but Christ OR Caesar. Imaging him ‘getting it’ that you have to pick… Imagine seeing Jack’s head go * P · ҉ · P *

      1. And what’s with that newfangled flag he’s got? As long as we’re mixing culture, politics, and religion, what’s wrong with the good old Roman eagle? Old paths my foot.

  20. beginning at the 1:08 mark
    We are being swept away in this contemporary, soft, casual church work and it will destroy our lives, our families, our homes, our marriage…

    Contemporary. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    Your suit, your building, your white pianos, your comfortable seats, your buses, your HVAC system, trappings et alii, are contemporary.
    Jack, you are a controlling, megalomaniacal fraud.

    1. That was the most ridiculous part of the whole thing. It’s going to destroy everything! why? how?

      Seems like there is an addiction to fear in these guys’ followers and they are happy to feed it.

  21. When I hear or read someone decrying “contemporary” music, I picture a kid sitting on the side of a hill in about 1030 B.C. watching his dads sheep, practicing the harp or lyre, and often making up a tune. As he plays, a rabbi walks by and says, “Hey! stop that. That’s not the music we like to hear here.”
    As the old man walks away, I imagine young David shaking his head as he adds another verse to his latest hymn of praise to God.

  22. Dear Jack:

    Young people took quite a hit in your screed.

    In 25 years time, who do you think will be supporting/leading your churches? Unless of course, you succeed in alienating them before that. But in that case, who do you think will be supporting/leading your churches in 25 years time.

    Christian Socialist

    PS: Jesus took the little children in his arms and blessed them. Why don’t you?

    1. What these people don’t understand is that every generation since Adam has probably sat around looking curmudgeonly and said “Darned kids these days!”
      “Darned kids these days think that newfangled thing called fire is a necessity; they can’t stop using it! Back in my day we wrapped in leaves and shivered and we survived!”
      “Darned kids these days think that woven cloth stuff is just so darned tootin’ hot! I tell you, though, flimsy stuff won’t be around in a hundred years. Doesn’t keep up with animal skin!”
      “Darned kids these days are so into that iron stuff! But think of the time it takes to mine and forge! Think of the hours wasted! Why can’t they be happy with flint and stone and wood! I mean, they’ve been good enough for humanity for the last eight thousand years! Turning away from the old paths to these new-fangled things! Ruining society!”

      Darned kids these days are the ones that have invented every single useful thing we have. If nobody ever pushed boundaries and nothing ever changed, we’d all still be huddled in Africa, naked, and probably frozen stiff in the Ice Age. It’s a good possibility we would have starved or died from animal attack or exposure.

      Thank God for darned kids.

  23. Listen, you bunch of grouchy old curmudgeon. Didn’t yah hear Trieber scream, “Have a good day”. That’s got to mean he has our best interest at heart. I think that has to count for something, doesn’t it? Seriously, can I get an AMEN!

    1. People shouting–unexpectedly–makes me want to strike them about the head and shoulders. Probably stems from physical abuse (“discipline”) I received as a child. It showed me that this man is a bully.

  24. Here is just a further thought about this snippet of video. Is Treiber drunk? His words are stumbled over; his eyes seem unfocused; his memory is impaired; and his emotions are inappropriate to the subject matter. Admittedly, there are other possible causations: dementia, bad editing, lack of scripting and preparation, and poor intellection in general. I wonder.

  25. I can’t bring myself to watch the video (I’ve had enough stuff go to shit today), but since the post title and content apparently reference modern technology, I thought I’d post this little ditty I wrote a few weeks ago. For your general edification, of course.

    Give me that online religion,
    Give me that online religion,
    Give me that online religion,
    It’s good enough for me.

    We can sleep in Sunday morning,
    Be at lunch while they’re adjourning,
    No dark bags our eyes adorning,
    That’s good enough for me.

    It will always feel like heaven
    In pajamas at eleven,
    And our car can rest from revvin’…
    That’s good enough for me.

    Our song service is a blessing,
    Short and sweet but interesting,
    ‘Cause we sing it while we’re dressing,
    That’s good enough for me.

    If the webcast doesn’t falter,
    If Time-Warner doesn’t halt her,
    We’ll pray at our glowing altar,
    And that’s good enough for me.

    I don’t give my hard-earned dollars
    To some guy who screams and hollers,
    Hearing actual Bible scholars
    Is good enough for me.

    We don’t have to work the nurs’ry;
    Child care is rather curs’ry —
    It’s that diaper’s annivers’ry!
    That’s good enough for me.

    We don’t have to work the bus route,
    Swallow goldfish, catfish, or trout,
    When our haul is small, get chewed out,
    That’s good enough for me.

    When the preacher gets abusive,
    Wailing, whiny, and excusive,
    We change podcasts unobtrusive-
    ly, that’s good enough for me.

    Once a week we have Lord’s Suppa,
    Tiny crackers and a cuppa
    Juice that’s old, not young *hiccuppa*
    That’shgood enough for me.

    When they’re having invitation,
    We sing songs I know that they’d shun,
    ZZ Top’s “I’m Bad, I’m Nation-
    wide,” that’s good enough for me.

    When they’re shaking hands with pastor,
    Complimenting his disaster,
    I’ll be hearing ‘bout the Master,
    And that’s good enough for me.

    The wilderness is scary
    But it’s only temporary.
    God supplies and that is very
    Good enough for me.

    1. BTW, I have no idea where in the course of things George decided to post this, so my apologies if it appears to be a reply to someone.

    2. Excellent work, Sir! I especially liked the stanza that began, “I don’t give my hard-earned dollars…”

  26. The old time religion did not have men wearing suits and ties. Automobiles, airplanes, television, grocery stores, Walmart, etc did not exist in Bible times. Come to think of it, neither did the KJV.

    1. Neither were there Chick tracts, baptistery warmers, pews, steeples, Victorian hymns, complete Bibles, hymnbooks, etc….

  27. This reminds me so much of the old segues in pro wrestling…NWA, WCW,WWF era. I can just imagine “Mean Gene Okerland” standing just out of frame holding the mic to this guys face while he goes on a blowhard rant against his enemies.
    “Let me tell you something brother! Whatcha gonna do when that KJV gets a hold of you? Oh yeeeah!”

  28. Is this the same fool preacher who put up the nitpicky staff handbook on the church’s website, then took it down when he realized that people outside the church bubble were actually reading that stuff too?

    In a related note, there is a website I regularly frequent called Pink Truth, dedicated to exposing the fraud that is Mary Kay Cosmetics. One thing this fundy preacher and Mary Kay have in common is that they operate in a time vacuum. They’re set in a retro mindset where books, phones, personal connections and appearances are the key and the secret, non-commercially available “internet” still housed the government’s porn stash in addition to military stuff. That, or they view the internet as a mysterious dark force conjured up by sorcerers in a cave somewhere, powered by an even MORE mysterious force known as ELECTRICITY

    1. It’s the same “Employer of the Year,” Jack Trieber. The same one who wrote that if he fires you or you quit, he’ll give you until sundown to leave town.
      Not to clean out your desk or to leave the building, but to leave town.
      That’s right, he thinks he should have power over that.

      1. @ Big Gary, PeD,
        “… he’ll give you until sundown to leave town.” Sounds like something out of the Old West. Anyway, with apologies to Tex Ritter, here’s some seriously bad writing to the tune of “Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling.”

        Don’t disobey me, oh my hireling!
        I am the source of your pay-ay.
        Don’t disobey me, oh my hireling!
        Move! Move along!

        I will not pay a man who hates me,
        But when I treat him like a slave,
        Then why can’t all of you ingrates see;
        I feel empowered:I feel empowered–
        I feel the power that I crave!

        I’d better not see you this Friday!
        I am the shepherd, do what I say!
        Listen! the big man’s tellin’ you,
        “Leave this town soon!”

        You know I hold you in derision.
        Don’t want to have you in my vision.
        I want you gone and I
        Couldn’t care less, it won’t grieve me!

        Don’t disobey me, oh my hireling!
        Your new address you must not share.
        Don’t disobey me, oh my hireling!
        Although you’re goin’, don’t want folks knowin’
        No, I don’t want them knowin’ where!

        Move Along! Move Along! Move Along! Move Along!

      2. That’s what I thought. No wonder this fool views the internet as some kind of sorcery-he can actually be held accountable for his words and actions, something he as a MoG can’t bear!

        Also, he either took down the video or privatized the hell out of it. It’s not available for viewing anymore.

  29. Dwhile watching this video , and afterwards, does anyone else have a voice in their head that repeats “Slap the idiot! Slap the idiot! Slap the idiot!”?
    No? Is it just me?
    Hmmm. Very odd….

    1. When you get a direct communication from the Holy Spirit, you should not ignore it.

  30. We should all visit his church en masse with iPads, spreading ourselves throughout the congregation, and conspicuously use them to take notes.

    He might spontaneously combust, but it would be worth it.

    1. Sorry, not worth the trauma.

      Of course, if I have a few mimosas at brunch beforehand, that will lessen the trauma.

    2. I’d like to bring a laptop along and watch “Glee” on it while he’s preaching.

        1. I’ve never seen “Glee” (I gather it’s some kind of singing show), but a student got expelled from a Fundy U for watching it, so it must be a big deal to Fundies.

    3. What notes would there be to take?

      I. Open your KJB.
      II. Obey your MOG.
      A. About tithing
      B. About witnessing
      C. About dating (rather courting)
      D. About everything
      III. ‘Onor your MOG
      A. By bowing before him at the altar (called the invitation)
      B. By buying him lots of gifts
      1. For birthdays
      2. For anniversaries
      3. For pastor appreciation Sunday
      4. Fire brownie points (or brown nose points)
      C. By blessing him with an awesome pay package
      1. Don’t forget the salary
      2. Don’t forget the cell phones
      3. Don’t forget the housing allowance
      4. Don’t forget the retirement fund
      5. Don’t forget the book fund (for Sword of the Lord and other such deep theological ponderings )
      6. Don’t forget the car allowance
      7. Don’t forget the meal allowance

      Invitation

  31. Entirely unrelated to this post (well, maybe not entirely, but only tangentially), Tom Ferrell just got a Twitter. I know this because out of the blue he followed me.

    Every time that man gets even remotely near me I feel guilty. I should probably get saved again.

    1. You should. Unless you know that you know that you know that you prayed the right prayer with the right attitude in the right place in front on the right people and got the whole thing signed and dated in your Bible, you should probably get saved again.

      1. Well, I’ve done it twice after being around him, so third time’s the charm I hope.

  32. I remember the story where Jesus went into the synagogue and read from the SCROLLS. At least with a tablet you can ‘scroll’ — even if you don’t have a physical scroll. That’s closer to Jesus than a printed book, HAYMEN?? Printed books are of the debbil!

    1. You could probably even get a version that looks like a scroll and is in Hebrew or Greek… Which would be even Ye Older Paths. Or get a faux-stone iPad cover so your tablet is reminiscent of the tablets of stone the 10 Commandments were on… Tablet of stone, anyone?

      (Don’t tell them this, but the leather on their Bibles is probably mostly faux leather anyway.)

  33. What Jack Trieber doesn’t seem to get is that a religion that you largely made up yourself can’t ever qualify as “old-time religion” or “the old paths” (unless you’re a couple of thousand years old, and you started the religion in your youth).

  34. IMHO, the problem with most evangelical churches nowadays is the fact that pastors seem scared to death to contextualize the (usually) one verse they quote. When I go home and read the whole chapter, I find that it almost always does not mean what they say it means. It happens in contemporary churches. It happens in paper-Bible-only-hymn book praising churches too. Case in point; this video.

    This chapter Proverbs 22, talks about the rich and the poor, honesty, and not stealing. “Moving the ancient landmarks” is describing how a man may be stealing his neighbor’s land a foot at a time, moving the stone or other large marker object. Doing this would cause every following generation to lose out. This is an Old Testament, Israel thing. Our culture doesn’t automatically understand this, therefore, it is one of the fundys’ go-to scriptures for twisting into their own meaning.

    He is also reading himself into a scripture that has nothing to do with him. Shall I read him into other verses in this chapter? How about verse 16? “He that oppresseth the poor to increase his riches, and he that giveth to the rich, shall surely come to want.” Yes, let us preach that verse on tithing emphasis Sunday. Or better yet, Pastor appreciation Sunday.

    1. It’s not that hard to understand. If I keep moving the fence between my land and my neighbor’s land to make my lot bigger and hers smaller, I’m taking away her home and/or livelihood. It works the same now as then.

    2. You’d think the poor man would notice a series of dead-grass spots a few feet apart, but no…

      1. I’m sure they noticed in most cases, but if the land thief was a lot more powerful than the victim, they couldn’t do much about it. It was just one more way for the powerful to exploit the powerless.

        Or if it was an issue of the respective territories of two tribes, they went to war over it. Another bad outcome for the less-powerful members of society, who always bear the brunt of warfare.

    3. Growing up in rural Appalachia I knew of land battles where people used to sneak into the woods and move property line markers. This happened to our neighbor who was elderly and a widow. The U.S. Forest Service kept moving the markers in a few feet, and when they left she would go move them back. This, Mr. Treiber, is a real life application of Prov 22:28. Have a nice day!

      1. Mr. Trieber seems more interested in maintaining his power and upholding his extrabiblical traditions than he is in proper exegesis.

    4. Those who give lip service to literal interpretation sure can get figurative when it serves their purpose, no?

      1. As any fundy will tell you, there is only one literal interpretation, but there are many applications. Unfortunately, people tend to get stuck on the weird applications that preachers come up with and never remember – or even hear – the literal interpretation.

        Long ago, within just a couple of weeks, I heard one guest preacher say that Peter’s exiting the boat was an example to be emulated while another guest preacher proclaim that Peter was faithless. I couldn’t understand how you could get contradictory meanings from the same passage.

  35. Let me make a video telling you what I am against, what I hate and how frustrated I am with the state of Christianity.
    Then yell, HAVE A NICE DAY!
    Personally that made me jump and totally creeped me out.

  36. Well. Dr. Trieber needs to lay aside his microphone(s). When my Dad started preaching in the old fashioned 50’s he had to project his voice and believe me, he could. There was no a/c in that little old fashioned country church. We used “funeral fans.” Restrooms? Two out houses out back. (Until Dad encouraged the church to provide “modern” facilities in the early 60’s.) Piano? Old brown upright. “Give me that old time religion!!” I’ll have no part of these new fangled contemporary ways! Oh wait. Were those the good ole days?

    1. P.S. Did Jesus have a sound system when he preached the sermon on the mount? If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

  37. Trieber quotes two verses wrongly. The first (Prov. 22.28) is misapplied to refer to worship practices when in fact it speaks against stealing property. This is anachronism, probably the biggest fault of Fundamentalists. Trieber wrenches the text to fit modern issues wrongly.

    Jer. 6.16 doesn’t mention “great men” at all, Trieber inserts this idea while the verse really refers to the original concepts of what the Law taught and the ‘testimony’ of the sacrificial system which pointed to Messiah’s atonement for human sin. The following context Jeremiah notes that the nation of Judah are ignoring the Law and that the sacrifices they give are empty observance. Isaiah gives a similar message of adhering to this standard in Is. 8.20: “To the Law and to the testimony, if they speak not according to this word, they have no light of dawn” (paraphrasing). So Jer. 6.16 speaks of the ancient paths of what was given at Horeb when God made a covenant with the nation.

    The evidence is that Trieber is unfit to teach and so disqualified from the pastorate.

    1. Dear alex:

      ‘No’ and ‘yes.’

      Christian Socialist

      PS: You wrote: ‘the evidence is that Trieber is unfit to teach and so disqualified from the pastorate.’

      I reply: Precisely! And it is difficult not to see the implicit irony and hypocrisy in telling others to serve God in their calling when the speaker clearly doesn’t.

  38. Dear Mr. Treiber,

    Do you have any idea how hard it is to carry an active baby and a backpack full of diaper supplies, plus keep up with an active toddler? Try adding a 20 pound Bible to the load. I’m so thankful to have the Bible on my smartphone, conveniently transported in my back pocket. Have a nice day!

    -WM

    P.S. you have a serious ego problem if you have to know what people are doing with their iPad or smartphone while you’re preaching. I’m not being hateful I just feel sorry for you. Have a nice day!

    1. Dear WorkinMama,
      If you think a baby, a toddler, and a diaper bag are hard to carry, just try lugging Jack Trieber’s ego around all day!

      Have a nice day,
      Gary

  39. I wish I had something meaningful to add to the thread, but everything I could thi–HAVE A NICE DAY

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