Paper Bibles

God doesn’t use an iPhone!!!!!! (Everybody knows He prefers Android)

David Owens gives us 6 reasons that he is completely not making up for why paper Bibles should be used instead of electronic ones. Here they are with my observations

1. We call God’s Word, The Bible; “The Bible” means “The Book.” Should we now call it “The app or the gadget?”
Books cease to be books when you put them on a screen. Everybody knows this

2. We say we respect the KJB, but put it on the same level as an app like Fox News, Drudge Report, AccuWeather, the stock market or some game. Where is the fear that we are losing all respect for God’s Word and God’s Book?
Furthermore why should we put the Bible on paper — the very same material which we also use to wipe our butts! Carved stone is the only true respectful material

3. The same gadget that has your Bible app displays ungodly advertisements and pictures either by accident or on purpose. Would you feel comfortable with pictures of half-dressed women in your Bible?
We can have rape and murder and incest and genocide in the Bible but we draw the line at half-dressed women unless their name is Jezebel.

4. Bible apps make it too easy to access perverted bibles, false versions and liberal commentaries.
I just can’t even.

5. Consider this excuse, “I can have the Bible with me all the time, for I always have my phone.” God already addressed that. Psalm 119:11 says, “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” No one has ever not sinned because they have a smartphone with them. Bible apps do not encourage memorization or meditation; in fact, they discourage memorization, for why memorize? The words of God on your smartphone can not replace the words of God in your heart.
And when the Communists invade and take away your iPhones you won’t be able to reproduce the entire Bible from memory like your parents were totally prepared to do.

6. It becomes too easy to be distracted. While you may have your Bible app open, you also receive notices of texts, updates, your eBay item sold, news and that granny is calling. Doesn’t the Devil provide enough distraction when we read God’s Word why we would make provision for more?
Because before the iPhone nobody ever stared off into space and thought about EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD except what the yelling man up front was saying. Also google “Airplane Mode.” It’s a thing.

Well there you have it. I’m never taking my iPhone to church again. True story.

272 thoughts on “Paper Bibles”

  1. His closing paragraph:
    “If God keeps His records of us in literal books, should we not keep and use His record to us in a literal Book? We are not against technology, inventions or making life easier, but we ought to be against doing those things our way and not God’s way. God describes the Scriptures as “the book.”

    God describes the Scriptures as “the book.” Aside from the fact that God does not describe the Scriptures as “the book”….does he expect God to use language from 2015 in the Bible in order for it to make it ok for him to use a smart phone?

    1. I don’t mean to derail the subject, but it’s things like that in the Bible that raises my eyebrow. The creator of this massive universe, living outside of the confines of time, conceptually perfect, uses archaic objects like books, swords and carriages? Robes? Gold? Pearls?

      I don’t know.

  2. Dear SFL Reader:

    Might fundamentalist approaches to the word of God attempt to bind that word so as to manage and direct it along preferred channels to hedge blackened hearts and minds from its piercing truth and light? Might this be behind much ‘KJVO’ rhetoric?

    Christian Socialist

  3. The author asks, “What comes next – prayer apps?”

    Why, yes. I used my rosary app just this morning.

    1. And there’s also a pile of prayer request tracking apps out there. I’ve never really found one I liked – too little understanding that “answered” is not a one-time thing for some concerns, for one thing – but I know a lot of Sunday School teachers I had in middle and high school would have loved to replace the paper journals listing our needs and sick family members with something searchable.

    1. That’s Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist — as if his ranting is anything new. Fred Phelps without the picket signs.

      1. Phelps is dead now and alrhough his legacy lives on, hecan’t personally hurt anyone anymore.

      1. Caitlyn Jenner?

        Is she any realtion to Bruce Jenner, the famous olympian from way back in the 70’s. Is he still living?


        1. I envy the quiet little corner of the world that you must live in to have not heard of this. It must be lovely. And I mean this without an ounce of sarcasm. I genuinely want to vacation in that corner.

        2. Yes, C.S., it is most lovely and tranquil…so long as I don’t forget to take my medication after the first cup of early morning brew!


    2. I remember at BJU hearing Bob Jr. pray that God would kill a government official because he had taken a position Jr. didn’t like. He called it “imprecatory” prayer, and he justified it by several Bible verses.

      I also remember hearing at BJU a chapel message on the things we should hate. Yes. Hatred is taught in fundamentalism, very directly and very deliberately.

      And lest you think that you might have a problem knowing what things you should hate, remember, “We have the mind of Christ.” Well, Paul said it, so it must be true. But those people in that other church, they read that verse and *they* think they have the mind of Christ — but they don’t. Obviously, right? since they don’t agree with you. They must be unsaved, unregenerate, actually hating God and they must be hated as well.

      Sigh. Life is so *frantic* when you are a fundamentalist.

      1. Dear rgtmath:

        The best hate and bigotry always speaks in Yahweh’s Name.

        Christian Socialist

      2. Did he justify it with verses from the New Testment? From the Gospels?How many “imprecatory prayers” did Jesus pray?

      3. “And lest you think that you might have a problem knowing what things you should hate, remember, “We have the mind of Christ.” Well, Paul said it, so it must be true. But those people in that other church, they read that verse and *they* think they have the mind of Christ — but they don’t. Obviously, right? since they don’t agree with you. They must be unsaved, unregenerate, actually hating God and they must be hated as well.”

        It is very much a problem when “in the mind of Christ,” you are to hate liberals (Democrats, the Left), libertarians, independents, television (and for that matter, all entertainment), anyone who uses a different Bible, anyone who listens to other theologians (because of course, those other theologians don’t have the line to Him that the “mind of Christ” preacher has), anyone who is against FOX News, anyone who is against theocracy, etc, etc, etc.

      4. I remember Bob Jr. calling down wrath on Alexander Haig because he denied Ian Paisley’s visa. ‘Smite him hip and thigh’. Apparently Haig went on to live for quite some time after that and died of natural causes.

        1. He died of slow smiting.

          I kid, of course. He died at age 85, which is way beyond the average life expectancy for men born in 1924.

          I can think of a boatload of reasons Haig deserved to die, but denying Paisley a visa is not one of them.

        2. I met Ian Paisley. He signed my ex-boyfriend’s gigantic black KJV. I’m pretty sure I was holding my ESV and trying to tamp down my feelings of “this is absolutely ridiculous” as Mr Paisley gave the guy the proverbial pat on the back and he puffed up as if he’d beem knighted by the king of Fundystan. Which he actually kind of had, but ugh. It was absurd. He was so excited. I couldn’t even manage enthusiasm.

          BJU’s support of Paisley should be a deep embarrassment to them. He supported the execution of gays and violent resistance to Catholics and called the pope the antichrist to his face (which is a pretty shaky theological position and definitely does not jive with BJUs pre-millennial position on eschatology, since that pope is now long dead and gone). He was an angry, angry, hateful man.

    3. Anyone know the old saying “If you throw a stone into a pack of dogs, the one that yelps is the one that got hit” ?

      1. I should be used to it by now, but the number of exceptionally loud-mouthed homophobes who end up being outed as gay continues to impress me.

    4. In the context of Steven Andersons rants I wonder if he is familiar with the old saying “Throw a stone into a pack of dogs, and the dog that yelps is the one that got hit” ?

      1. Anderson is a witches brew of sociopathic tendencies but I think his core problem is a deep self-loathing that he projects onto others.

        1. It could be. One does not often see such sociopathy on public display. The first time I heard one of his rants I felt embarrassed for him, and then it began to slowly dawn on my that this wasn’t his money making shtick…it was what he actually thought. My embarrassment turned to loathing.

        2. The first time I hear him, I thought it was a parody of someone. Then as I saw that he posted more and more sermons, it became apparent that he was for real, and he actually believed the things he ranted on about. My question is, how far from the center of the gospel does someone have to go before they are a real, genuine heretic. Many would say that he is a genuine believer with just some idiosyncrasies. I say that these average legalistic extreme right wing, Hyles types border on unbelief. The “Gospel” they believe is not “good news” to anyone. It is heavy, burdensome, weight. Jesus warned people about so called religious leaders like this.

        1. That comment was meant as a reply to ‘Anyone know the old saying “If you throw a stone into a pack of dogs, the one that yelps is the one that got hit” ?’

    5. Strange how anderson seems to know the Mind of Christ better than Jesus does…..

    6. I’m thinkin’ he doesn’t really read his Bible. What happened to “God so loved the world….” and “God is not willing that any should perish….”?

      1. Anderson does read the Bible that Jesus knew. The Old Testament. But he doesn’t seem to understand that something changed when Jesus died and rose again. Also he spends too much time trying to correct Jesus on His theology

        1. That was in reply to “what happened to ‘for God so loved the World’ and ‘God is not willing that any should perish.'” except for Gays, transsexuals and anyone else Steven Anderson doesn’t like

  4. Also, those nasty E Bibles-even the AV 1611-does not have those seven seals on the spine…enough said…

  5. Darrel, you quit at 6. The other 4 were just as hilarious:

    7. Have you noticed that more and more of God’s people seem to be intimidated by the world and are embarrassed to carry their big old KJB?
    Really??? I would be embarrassed that somehow carrying an oversized bible somehow makes me legit.

    8. You say, “It’s more convenient.” Here we go again, “Lord, I can’t live for you unless it is easy, pleasant and I’m never inconvenienced.” How sad that we are so indifferent to the things of God, that unless God entertains us we won’t get involved. Have you noticed that Christians seem to be getting lazier?
    -So convenience creates laziness and indifference? You’re right! Better sell that car, give the money to the poor, and start walking like Jesus.

    9. We somehow believe that if there is an emergency we have to know about it immediately. There is no emergency on Earth that surpasses the emergency of our spiritual needs.
    -Right! What about my spiritual need to fact check your sermon?

    10. What comes next? Prayer apps? A social media site where you can “friend” God, maybe called Godbook? Online church?
    -Hyperbole much? Do you actually think that the “books” mentioned in the bible were digitally printed with laser printers and put together on silky paper with gold embossed leather binding? Those “books” were NOT printed, they were scribed. Big difference.

    It’s fine if you don’t want to use a digital bible, just quite trying to make crap up to somehow justify your prejudice. The big problem is that there will be people who actually agree with this stuff and will praise this guy.

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