161 thoughts on “Tract Smack Down”

  1. How daring…how bold! If only Brother Andrew had simply thought of this….all the anxiety about smuggling Bibles to persecuted brethren could have been avoided

    1. Whoa! There’s a nam I haven’t heard for awhile…

      Saw something awhile back, don’t remember where, suggestion that his book was… embroidered. My dad would say it was written ‘evangelisticall’- slightly exaggerated for maximum praise, to enhance one’s position. Of course it was for the glow-ray of the Lawr-ed!

  2. I think that is the stupidest way to distribute tracts…and I am a Fundamentalist. What’s worse is making a video for YouTube about it!! :roll: Some people just deserved to be smacked!

  3. I wonder how many people actually read the tract tucked under their windshield wiper? Or do they get out of the car and angrily toss it to the ground?

  4. My takeways:
    a)Hey, they look like they’re having fun. Nothing wrong with that.

    b)Some of those fundie girls are pretty cute. Erm, if they’re over 18. Otherwise, I didn’t notice them.

    c)I believe this was mentioned in 2 Hezakiah:”And the faithful of the Lord did go to the great marketplace in Jerusalem, and they did bring with them sheets of parchment upon which were written the words of the Lord and exhortations unto the children of Israel; and while the children of Israel did travel in the marketplace, to trade for oil, and bread, and meat, and suchlike things, did the faithful place upon their stalled horses and beasts of burden these parchments, so that all would know, when they did leave the marketplace, of the Lord’s words for them. Thus should you go and do likewise.”

    1. I wondered about that too. If anyone read one of their tracts then saw this video, I’m sure they’d think “Oh, they’re just like the world. I don’t need their Jesus.”

  5. I muted it because I couldn’t be bothered to stop listening to the soundtrack from Skyfall. But I did watch it all the way through. I’ve joked about “drive-by tracting” but I never thought I’d see it with my own eyes.

  6. Wait!!! Is that a guy and a girl heading out together at 00:30???? For Shame!!!! “Mixed-Tracting” – - could lead to dancing! :!:

  7. How did the one girl get away with wearing the little tie-front cardi? Isn’t that too much attention and provoking lust? Boobies are bayuf… mmmkay?! :roll:

  8. BE NOT DECEIVED!!!! THESE BACKSLIDERS MAY BE DRESSING MODESTLY…..MOSTLY BUT THAT MUSIC IS NOT PLEASING TO GID!! Note the heavy rock beat and syncopation that is disrupting my heart beat. HOW CAN THEY EXPECT THEIR TRACT MINISTRY TO BE EFFECTIVE AT ALL WHEN THEY ARE PLAYING SUCH UNGODLY, WORLDLY, SENSUAL MUSIC AS THIS???? SURELY GID WILL NOT POUR OUT SPIRITUAL WATER TO THE EFFORTS OF THEIR SOWN SEEDS :cry:

  9. It is amazing to me that Jesus was so dumb as to come when he did. Think of all He could have accomplished if He had justed waited till they invented busses, tracts, and youth group assault troops.

    1. Every time I look at you I don’t understand
      Why you let the things you did get so out of hand.
      You’d have managed better if you’d had it planned.
      Why’d you choose such a backward time in such a strange land?
      If you’d come today you could have reached a whole nation.
      Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication.

      – Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, “Jesus Christ Superstar”

  10. And how shall they hear unless someone anonymously slips a folded piece of tri-colored paper with a hurried gospel presentation under their windshield wiper?

    1. I read and read and re-read a “This Was Your Life” Chick Tract that was left under my windshield…and I think it was one of the myriad circumstances that God used to bring me to faith. Just sayin.

      1. Someone very close to me was saved after reading a tract left in a public restroom.

        Personally, I’m not against tracts. I am against people saying this is the ONLY way to evangelize or this is the way ALL Christians must evangelize in order to be obedient to God or using the distribution of tracts as an excuse for not actually interacting with people.

        1. Ditto! I’m generally against IFB churches, but I am a member of one…I am generally against door-to-door evangelism, yet I do it most weekends. I am very opposed to kjv onlyism yet I use only that version when I serve at my church.

        2. Experiencing any effects from the cognitive dissonance reverberating in your skull Jes?

          I couldn’t get away from tracts onboard my Navy ship. Thousands of them everywhere, real pain for the compartment cleaners who had to throw them away everyday. Eventually you read some and some were just awful.

        3. Well, yeah, and people get saved reading the Bible while studying for the catholic priesthood, so should we say studying for the priesthood is good? Bad logic, PW.

        4. @furiousjehu
          I’m pretty much over the dissonance. I went out from fundyland for about five years and now I am back. Believe it or not there are several believers in our church that have successfully metabolised the kool-aid and are clandestinely bringing sanity to the whole mess. Believe it or not, we have new converts frequently (it is a rescue mission – whole other ball of fundy wax) and I think that God is using some of us to help.

      2. Most of the users on this site wear their WWJD bracelets and they take them very seriously. I’d be a legalistic mess if I had to consult my “What Would John Calvin Do?” manual every day.

        1. The answer to that shirt is “Something really awesome, probably.” (One of my favorite scenes in the entire series is in Book 5, when he’s confronted by the Aurors, and he just smiles and says, “I’m sorry, did you think I would… what is it the Muggles say… come along quietly?”)

      3. That was the first Chick tract I ever read. It had just the opposite effect on me — sheer terror of God and the urge to get as far away as possible.

      4. And years ago when San Diego Comic Con was still in the old Convention Center, I saw a scene-by-scene parody of “This Was Your Life” titled “Shame on You, Doctor Drugoo!”

        Imagine the anonymous damned sinner in the tract replaced by a “Doctor Drugoo” (Hunter S Thompson in Mr Magoo’s body) who is so stoned through the whole tract he doesn’t give a damn. Oh, and at the end Hell is so overcrowded he gets out on an early release — still stoned.

        I wish I’d picked up a copy when I saw it in the dealer’s room…

  11. I am so confused by this video. On the one hand the ladies are dressed exceptionally oppress- erm, I mean conservatively, tie-front-cardi-girl notwithstanding. On the other, the boys are dressed in whatever they want or a “witness”-type T-shirt that most long-denim-skirt-type fundies would judge to be too worldly. Except it’s ok because they are boys.

    As others have noted, the music is unusually modern for long-denim-skirt-type fundies. Except it’s keeping the kids “excited about God” so we’ll overlook it for now.

    You know, there was a time when I would have thought a drive-by tracting like this was a good thing. Now watching it I realize just how ridiculous, ineffective, and offensive it is. How very sad.

    There isn’t a single part of this I don’t find heartbreaking. Maybe that’s the unifying theme in this bizarre conglomeration of parts: heartbreak. My dear children, God is so much better than you have been told at this point in your lives. May you find Him.

  12. Try to run in skirts?? I don’t detect anyone having any problems in that area. People are so brainwashed (“blue jeans are comfortable”). Skirts are comfortable (nothing pulls around the crotch area, hello!), and comfortable is this Aspergirl’s priority.
    Plus, most women’s asses look kinda ugly in pants. Unless you’re listening to “fat bottomed girls” on your ipods. Yawn.

    1. Amen, sister! While pants/jeans are fine for most things, a skirt can be just as comfortable (at least in hot weather), and I’m just old-fashioned enough to miss women in skirts. Pants are practical, but do we all lead such active lives as to rule out a flattering skirt or dress at times? :neutral:

      1. I still enjoy wearing skirts, but I feel like a lady in them, and as a lady, I do not want to go running full tilt across a parking lot, unless I’m running to meet the man I love.

        And I like my whole ensemble to go together, thus no bulky tennis shoes with my skirts. Ballet flats are much cuter.

    2. I dunno. Pants are much more comfortable than skirt for me. But for guys, I would think that they’d be more comfortable than trousers. The guys I know in reenactment circles all say so. And a kilt. Woof! I once saw a photo of John Barrowman in a full kilt, with the velvet jacket and frill. My temperature went up about five degrees!

  13. I live dangerously close to Detroit…
    Run up to my car like that with me in it…
    And you’ll wind up in my freezer.
    sorry

    1. I am not a violent person, but its the 21st century…. that guy is lucky he didn’t get tazed or sprayed with pepper spray. If I saw a dude charging at my wife like that full-clip in a parking lot he may receive a bullet.

  14. I am surprised at the music, but maybe Darrell added it?

    I’d like to know how many car alarms they set off…

    It was quite annoying to watch the video cut off everyone’s head as they boarded the bus/van/vehicle/whatever. Does the person taking the video have some sort of perverted mind?

    1. I’ve found that playing that kind of music is OK as long as its background music to some kind of Fundie superhero act like blitzing a parking lot with tracts. Just as long as the modern music doesn’t have any words giving glory to God, its OK.

  15. Another disturbing sign? I followed the link for this video to YouTube (the music is original and not Darrell’s addition), and found the church responsible is named “Bible Baptist Church of DeLand”. A brief google search places the church in DeLand, Florida; the church’s website is “jameswknox.org”.

    That’s right. The church’s website is the pastor’s name.

    And if that wasn’t enough of a red flag for you, the banner at the top of the site has the pastor in a classic Billy Sunday pose.

    Yikes. Run away, my sweet children. Turn away from the demagogue and run to Christ.

    1. The church has a school…

      “Our school is not for everyone. We have no cafeteria, no dormitories and no secular or extra-curricular amusements. Our school is for those who are willing to work to provide for themselves, labor in the word and doctrine and devote themselves fully to the lifestyle necessary to establish strong Christian churches at home or on the foreign field.

      After you have spent three years with us you will have a working knowledge of the word of God and an understanding of how to present that word to the saved and to the lost. You will also have the benefit of having seen men, women and families living in loving fellowship.”

      1. Besides giving the gospel (which is very important, if given accurately) you’ll learn nothing else in those 3 years? Wow. Shallow indeed.

      2. I have to give them credit – at least they aren’t charging tuition for their “school” – not that it makes up for the rest of it, but…

        1. Ha! Nice find. And Darrell highlighted one of the things I found most amusing about the site: “As for that last please note that the school does not have “Banquets, dances, festivals and other thinly disguised observances of pagan holidays.” and “nothing in place to promote romance among our students.”

    2. Read it to fast I thought you said it was called ‘Bible Baptist Church of DeDead’
      (thought they were moving to fast for zombies)

    3. Actually, the church involved is called THE BIBLE Baptist Church. Look it up, I did not accidentally type in caps-lock; that’s the name.

    4. I have actually been to this church a number of times. I have friends that still attend there. It’s quite scary when all the men pull out their guns and start shouting about the democrats…

  16. I may just be a *touch* cynical, but at my former fundy church they would’ve counted how many tracts they passed out and counted a percentage of them as “souls saved”. As my former youth pastor would say, “Even if they just read the prayer (supposedly not a magical prayer) in their head it counts! So, leave the tracts everywhere you can!”
    Uggghhh. So sad.

      1. We were always told to say to a potential convert, “This isn’t a magical prayer…” yet it is treated as such. So powerful is “the prayer” that even just glancing over the words will secure your eternal salvation. Who needs God or His Spirit when you’ve got “the prayer”!? :roll:

  17. I don’t understand the man who ran up to the person in the van, handed them the tract and ran off…? Are they not allowed to talk to people? Is this strictly a drive-by…? Weird.

    1. That is what is maybe the saddest thing — no personal connection with a single person…not even a “Hey! How ya doin’” All this does is ease their conscience in some weird way…soul winning just like Jesus and the apostles did it…

    2. I noticed that. It seemed so callous and impersonal. “I’ll throw a pamphlet at you but I won’t stop to talk to you.”

  18. I remember doing blitz tracting like this as a fundie. The goal is to get in and out as fast as you can before the store manager calls the cops on you.

    I remember using a blitzing technique in apartment complexes to try and avoid the apartment managers or the cops.

    However if you did get busted by the apartment manager, that was considered to be an honor being persecuted and usually was rewarded with a mention from the pulpit on Sunday morning. Now if the police showed up, you not only got the recognition from your MOG, but you also got a $25 gift certificate to Cracker Barrel.

    This happened to the youth group, the entire bus load getting stopped by the police. They thought that was awesome, I thought it was sad and was another reason why I left the fold. Only to find a bigger and more loving flock on the outside. :grin:

    1. My church did the blitz-tract thing all the time too. It drove me crazy and I refused to participate.
      I never understood why they worked so hard to be covert in hiding tracts in various places. “Oh how clever of me to sneak some tracts onto the grocery shelves! Woot! I am so smart to drop some tracts off in the restroom without anyone noticing!”
      Is it because if people saw them in their cult-attire with their condescending attitudes and holier-than-thou behavior, no one would even bother to read the tract or listen to a word they had to say?
      Not that they read them anyway. Although, some local psychic left her advertisement on my windshield the other day and I confess that I read it in full, if only for amusement purposes. :lol:

      1. OK, so the church that sends out these buses knows that placing tracts under windshield wipers in parking lots is quite likely illegal, but they do it anyway? Do their Bibles skip that “Render unto Caesar. . ” verse? I’d have sworn the King James had that one.

        1. If it involves doing work for the Kingdom of God (must use King James to be kingdom work) there are no laws of man that you should obey. In fact you should find as many as you can to disobey because if you get thrown in jail it will an honor bestowed upon you by your MOG (not to mention free Cracker Barrel gift cards when you get out).

  19. From the website banner:

    The ministry of THE BIBLE Baptist Church and Pastor James W. Knox

    Good to know this is THE BIBLE Baptist church. I actually thought there might be more than one church that had the Bible. Oh, THE BIBLE. “The incorruptible word of God which cannot pass away is available to the English speaking world in the Authorized (King James) Version.”

    My bad.

    They even have a church dress code. Also check out the FAQ page. It’s a sad, pathetic attempt to sell his books and other resources.

  20. Wow, music is totally inappropriate for fundy soul winning. It seemed almost like a quest to get the most tracts on the cars the fastest. Almost robotic in nature as if they were in a training camp. Oh, so sad…. :sad:

  21. Maybe music isn’t one of his priorities. I was surprised to read this description of music at his church:

    “There are many different ways to praise the Lord in music and in song. We have chosen to use the congregational singing of traditional hymns, played and sung in a conservative fashion. It is our belief that this style of music allows for greater participation by men and women of all ages and lends itself to more rapid memorization of these songs of faith. The depth and quality of the lyrics, and their ability to teach Biblical truth to the singer is another important reason why we use this style of music.”

    This to me sounds like a reasoned explanation of their music choice without the typical fundy grandstanding.

    I have no issue with churches that prefer hymns, only with those who say that their music preferences are more holy than other people’s choices.

  22. This is from the “Youth” page on the church website. “In addition to our services and Sunday school activities we schedule a number of activities throughout the year for our boys and girls. We do not open these activities to children not attending church as we do not want to deal with issues of bad language and behavior that non-churched children would bring to such events.”
    Three thoughts: 1) If they really are so bad, that’s all the more reason why they should be shown the love of Christ 2) Good thing Jesus didn’t go about his ministry this way. 3) From my experience with church youth groups, the “church kids” (as opposed to the bus kids) often have worse language and behavior. I’m sure a prideful spirit of “we are so much better than they” is prevalent.

    1. We all know that church kids never say words like “crap” or “suck”. They certainly never hear those words when they go to the store or the park.

      What a sad little bubble they live in.

    2. I ran my fundy church’s youth group a long while ago while we were in between youth pastors for about 11 months. During the time that I volunteered my services (and had tons of fun doing it, don’t get me wrong), I had two parents of teens tell me that they thought we should stop having youth activities because “there were too many negative influences in youth group.” I politely told them I thought they were nuts.

      Now, years later, I realize maybe they were talking about me. :mrgreen:

    3. “We do not open these activities to children not attending church as we do not want to deal with issues of bad language and behavior that non-churched children would bring to such events.”

      Translation: No Chance of HEATHEN Contamination.

  23. Cluttering lots of windshields with litter that will subsequently blow all over the county for months is serving God how?

    1. For a church named after a Scotsman, I would think kilts would be all but mandatory :grin: And yes it is a KILT, not a skirt! Only wussy widdle Englishmen wear skirts!

      1. I could see why they’d ban kilts…kilts are sexy. :grin:
        Wow, “While we have no control over what people do in their personal lives, for church activities please adhere to the following:” They sounds sad at the lack of control they can have in one’s personal life. Though, let’s be real, fundy guilt reaches into every depth of one’s personal life. :evil:

  24. I don’t like people leaving crap on my car. If you are a business, politician, church or whatever you basically give me no choice but to take your flyer. I then have to throw it away later. If you leave something on my windshield and then it rains I have a soggy mess to clean up. When businesses leave junk on my car I usually make a note to take my business elsewhere.

    Just one of my pet peeves.

  25. I work in the parking lot at Kroger (a grocery store). All this does is annoy people because you’re putting crap on their personal property. I have never seen anyone look at one, they get tossed to the ground, and then I have to pick them up. I usually keep an eye out for them, then walk right behind taking them off the cars and throwing them away, making sure they notice.

    1. My spouse works retail, and has confronted and intimidated tract leavers into going back around and removing the tracts from the vehicles in the business parking lot.

      In one case, the teens were graciously collecting the tracts when the youth group leader screeched up in the church van (yes, with the church’s name & contact info emblazoned on the sides) and proceeded to berate the teens for not having the courage to “stand up” for the gospel. My spouse interrupted to explain the teens were removing the tracts at his request, and the driver began yelling about free speech and religious rights. At that point, the police were called, and the church group suddenly felt the need to leave. Fortunately, my spouse was able to redirect the authorities to the correct church. :mrgreen:

      It’s so sad that people think tract-blitzing = witnessing for God. :cry:

  26. I love this from the FAQ on the website:

    “Can people look down on us from heaven?
    No. That would certainly spoil things.”

    Guess they forgot to read Hebrews.

    1. Also from the “FAQ” page:
      “There is no proper age at which to wed.”

      Do they get this from Warren Jeffs, or what?

    1. Only liberals believe there’s such a thing as littering. It’s one of those concepts like global warming, evolution, or pregnancies caused by rape that science wants to fool us into thinking are really happening.

      1. The Poster Formerly Known as Big Gary, have you ever even been to a church in your life? Who gives you your material? Do you ever come up with something original on your own that your handlers haven’t spoon-fed you? Would you even know the difference between St. Peter’s Cathedral in Rome and a rural Baptist church in the south if you weren’t reading from your manual?

        1. “Would you even know the difference between St. Peter’s Cathedral in Rome and a rural Baptist church in the south …?”

          I’m guessing whether or not it was in Rome would be kind of a tip-off.

        2. My dad is a Baptist born in Rome, GA. I never have trouble identifying him, and he hasn’t lived in Rome since he was a wee lad.

        3. Heh. My mother was born in Nicholson, which, wide spot in the road that it is, is between Rome and Sparta. I’ve been in churches in both Romes, and I’m able to tell the difference.

        4. You know, despite the jokes my mother used to tell about it, Nicholson is actually too far north to count as where she said it was (I looked it up). Was a great line for a lot of years, though.

      2. Honest question here. Does anyone think this “Darryl” who who supposedly runs this site has ever been to a church, other than maybe a funeral or a straight wedding that he attended only relucantly? Does anyone here think he’s ever set foot in the city of Pensacola, much less the college?……….I was fooled by this site at first and I thought it was a funny jab at ultra-conservative IFB’s. It seems as if this is just an excuse. The site seems more like a jab at all things Christian now and only occasionally reverts back to form (making fun of the IFB) to try to still stay within the parameters and fool the masses. Why not just be honest and drop the IFB thing, since you’ve probably never even been to a Baptist church in your life, and just be honest and make this an openly “All Christians suck” site?

        1. I attended PCC with Darrell. I’m sorry that you feel the need to attack the credibility of someone with whom you disagree.

        2. Mr. Jenkins…please go to the anti-christ thread and post ANYTHING next to my post. Because you make me look warm and fuzzy. I like how you skipped over any actual factual debate with Darrell (plus you misspelled his name) and went straight to ad hominem attack. Bravo! Perhaps you should be splitting the bamboo a little more often.

        3. Jenkins, I have a question for you. Can you show me anywhere in scripture that demonstrates a program of such impersonal sharing of the gospel?

          While there are some anti-Christian folks who frequent this website, most of us are very pro Christian. What many of us are is anti extra-biblical “commandments”.

        4. “Honest question here.”

          No, it isn’t.

          “Does anyone think this “Darryl” who who supposedly runs this site has ever been to a church, other than maybe a funeral or a straight wedding that he attended only relucantly? Does anyone here think he’s ever set foot in the city of Pensacola, much less the college?……….”

          First, you Fundies have this disgusting habit of deliberately screwing up people’s names. It’s disrespectful, it’s rude, and it hurts your testimony.

          Second, yes, he has been at a church and at PCC, and he is still a devout conservative evangelical Christian. Just because he is not kissing the rearend of your favorite minister does not make him a non-Christian.

          “I was fooled by this site at first and I thought it was a funny jab at ultra-conservative IFB’s. It seems as if this is just an excuse. The site seems more like a jab at all things Christian now and only occasionally reverts back to form (making fun of the IFB) to try to still stay within the parameters and fool the masses. Why not just be honest and drop the IFB thing, since you’ve probably never even been to a Baptist church in your life, and just be honest and make this an openly “All Christians suck” site?”

          There is a difference between “Christian” and “Independent Fundamental Baptist”. Very few, if any, posters believe “All Christians suck”. We do, however, know from personal experience (and yes, lots of time in IFB churches) that IFB-dom does not produce anything even remotely resembling the fruit of the Spirit. I mean, look at you, Jenkins. Fake honesty, can’t even bother to get a name right, assuming the posters here are all not even Christian, assuming we’ve never been in a church, assuming we’re all liars when we tell the truth… oh yeah, there’s really a Christian example worth following. Wait, no, that’s what drove us OUT of the IFB. No thank you. We don’t want the counterfeit Christianity you’re selling.

        5. Mr. Jenkins, it is “Christians” like you that cause people to run away from the gospel. I’m so happy that I left the IFB movement and feel so sorry for those that are still living and struggling with the yoke of legalism.

  27. Wow, I’m sure this is how the church at Antioch “spread the Gospel” using their own multi seat chariots to slip small pieces of parchment onto other chariots in the parking lots. Well played Bible Baptist, well played.

  28. Let’s please not make fun of our cardigan wearing sister. Do you know how dreadful it is to have all the normal and healthy desires to be sexually attractive, and yet be constantly berated as a slut if you dress attractively? I don’t know if that sort of thing happens at this particular church, and I know most of us are just venting about the abuse we observed, but the way that young women are treated isn’t really funny. The psychological manipulation is damnable.

    1. I was certainly not making fun of cardi-girl…I understand what’s happening to her all too well. I was more or less making fun of these types of churches that think such idiotic things, that a short cardigan would be “showcasing” a girl’s chest. It personally makes me LIVID that they boys look fairly “normal” and the girls are made to look as unattractive as possible. I was one of those long denim skirt wearing, cradle-IFB girls and the damage it did to me I can deal with, because I left at an early age. However, it drove most of the girls I grew up with either deeper into the cult or completely away from God altogether. I feel bad for those girls…they will no doubt have issues in their day-to-day lives and relationships from all this. I don’t make fun of THEM, they are still under their parents’ control. I WILL make fun of the people who enforce this garbage though. They deserve much worse than some jabs from us. I see myself in that little girl and my heart breaks for her.

      1. These girls really are in a difficult position. Right at the time that they want to look attractive to boys, as you suggested, they have to dress down. Everything around them is screaming for a different view- TV, magazines, storefronts, other girls at school… I remember what it was like in jr high and high school. We were fairly liberal pentes, and I was allowed to wear ‘modest’ (i.e. not tight) pants and jeans, but my skirts had to reach the knee, my tops couldn’t be too thigh either, and the necklines were fairly high- not showing off the chest. Jewelry has minimal, and makeup the bare minimum. I really wanted to be attractive- I wanted to be wanted- and I looked like a mouse.

        Of course in my case it was pointless- my parents chose my husband. No romance for me. But 30 years late, and I have a man who regularly drives the 300 miles from Ashland to Portland, just to see me. It is amazing and wonderful. :grin:

        1. Ashland to Portland?! That is really sweet. :) I live in Portland now, but when I lived in Clackamas my fiance would drive to me from Gresham/Boring and I thought that was pretty impressive. Ah, love. :)

    2. I thought we were making fun of people who insist on strict dress “standards,” not the young woman who may or may not be pushing one of those “standards.”

      1. Same here, Doc. Just clarifying my position. Forums and texts and the like don’t often convey the intent behind the words, especially when you don’t know the person to “hear” it come out of their mouths. Wasn’t taking offense or anything like that. I think we’re all on the same page with this :grin:

    3. I feel so sorry for girls caught in that. I knew dozens and dozens who left the ifb church and came to the state university where i worked and when they threw off the chians, man did they throw them off. So many of them became party animals to the fullest or started dressing in the most provocative ways to get the attention they were never allowed to get before.

      1. Once they got out from under their micromanaging keepers, they went Girls Gone Wild. And with no experience in self-control or self-restraint (only control and restraint forced on them by others), they had no idea how to behave or when to stop. Plus direct association of any attempt at wisdom and restraint with the abusive stifling they’d just gotten away from.

        I would expect a lot of binge alcoholism, alcohol poisoning, drug addiction and/or ODs, and Town Bicycle (every guy’s had a ride) pregnancies/abortions in that situation.

    1. Based on what was noted on another thread (I’m sure someone else can provide the link), presumably, when you get to Heaven, God will show you a room full of really cool stuff you DON’T get to have because you didn’t smack down enough tracts.

      Now, if it were me, and I was God, and I was going to be that cruel to people who’d spent their life serving Me, I’d skip the “room of treasures you don’t get” and instead make sure that people who didn’t smack down enough tracts would be given the mansions in heaven facing Hell, with all of the large-screen TVs in those mansions tuned to the suffering of the specific people who WOULD have been saved, if only the lazy, selfish, person in question had gone out just ONE more day, or smacked down just ONE more tract.

      (Note: I don’t believe that an honest reading of the Bible, at least the NT[1], makes God out to be anywhere near that big a jerk. Apparently, though, some fundies can’t imagine a God less petty and malicious than themselves, and, in so doing, probably turn away more souls than can be counted. )

      [1]OT God, especially the one who kept “hardening Pharaoh’s heart” so that He’d have a chance to hurl down more plagues, on the other hand…

        1. Agreed. Heaven will be no fun for some people if they can’t watch all the people in Hell and gloat about not being one of them.

  29. Behold the results of 2000 years worth of “denominations”, bad theology and church splits combined with 21st century sales and guerrilla marketing and indoctrination by an empire building “pastor”. I feel empathy for the kids who are subjected to this by their parents.

    Why would any one getting out of their car in a parking lot ready anything a stranger who is running full pace throws at them?

    There is nothing “Christian” about this video; I cant find Jesus ever teaching proselytizing. He only told his own disciples to go and make more disciples.

  30. Oh, yes. Crap under my windshield wipers always gets my attention. Actually, what it gets is the wipers turned on high until it blows off. Very effective soul winning.

  31. It almost seems like some sort of illegal activity, what with all the furtive sneaking around. Ah, the thrill of not getting caught by the authorities!

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