FWOTW: thegloryland.com

This week’s pick is just brimming with fundy goodness in the all-you-eat-buffet of articles on everything style that we’ve come to know and love.

Check out articles on karate, women preachers, child dedications, D&D, and “safe” sex.

Also note the links to Kent Hovind’s site on the front page and the picture of the author posing with Kent’s son. Birds of a feather.

And whatever you do, don’t miss the gloryland store where you can find everything you need to look like a walking fundamentalist illustration.

51 thoughts on “FWOTW: thegloryland.com”

  1. Holy extremely tall vertical menu, Batman! But the site’s design isn’t too bad, compared to some that we’ve seen previously. It does load very slowly, though. I’m busy at work (not too busy, obviously), so I’ll look forward to what my fellow readers shall dredge up from the depths for entertainment…

  2. After trawling the site for the things that usually entertain and/or upset me most, I have to say that The Glory Land is, well, underwhelming. I guess I’ve just gotten used to such shrill extremes that the quiet, airbrushed-Jesus quality of this site is less loony to me than simply eccentric.

  3. It’s amazing how our sensibilities can be re-calibrated regarding “normal”

    What was once ‘crazy’ can be reset to ‘only half a bubble off plumb’ by comparison

  4. “But the site’s design isn’t too bad, compared to some that we’ve seen previously.”

    I’ve created a monster. You’ve all become aficionados. 🙂

  5. Is it just me, or does that U-shaped arrow on Jesus’ legs look like an illustration of intestinal troubles in an ad for medical products? It’s really distracting.

      1. What did you mean by that? Why is it something a single person would not know about?


  6. “Nobody these days lobbies for abstinence, virginity or single lifetime sexual partners. That would be boring. Abstinence and sexual intercourse with one mutually faithful uninfected partner are the only totally effective prevention strategies. That’s from another recently published government report.”

    Right, but we aren’t actually going to document our use of this statement which leaves one wondering its validity. But of course when the government says something we agree with than you should absolutely trust them, but if they don’t than you should never trust government. 😀

  7. Need to check out

    Christian alternative to myspace “www.bigbaptist.com” 🙂

    71. Are you a stumbling block? if you say anything bad about the pastor or his
    wife you are.

    I won’t make fun of the grammar because I think the person might be ESL that wrote it, and that wouldn’t be fair, especially considering that other fundies continue to use the word “helpmate” in their sites.

  8. The “Creation Minute” video linked on the homepage is surprisingly well done. I guess I’ve just always associated “Hovind” with VHS recordings of seminars in the 80s.

    I dunno, Darrell, I gotta go with Jordan on this one. This one seems tame compared to some of the other gems we’ve seen in the past.

  9. My family and I have been involved with a Christan karate program for the last 3 years. All the leaders are Christians and we do nothing resembling his karate article. The black belts quote scripture to those in training and encourage participants to live a consistent Christian life. We don’t break boards or do anything that would result in serious injury to ourselves. We don’t meditate. Breathing consists of a 10 second focus before doing a form, that is, a sequence of karate moves. This focus is similar to a baseball player focusing on hitting the ball while batting. The writer defiantly has a us vs. others perspective, and perceives himself an expert on what others believe.

    1. “and perceives himself an expert on what others believe.”

      That sums up almost every IFB preacher I have ever heard. While in fact they are just parroting what they heard from another IFB preacher.

  10. “In the New Testament, the people no longer brought their tithes and offerings to a physical storehouse; instead, they gave of their increase in tithes, offerings, and alms to the church body. The church then used the tithe for spreading the gospel.”

    Chapter and verse please!

  11. He has the outline of a sermon called “7 Things Wreaking America”. I wonder if he knows that those 7 things are very similar to a chapter in the book “Principal Centered Leadership” by Stephen R Covey, the same man who wrote “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and is a devout Mormon.

  12. I see they’ve got a link to “Christian Children’s Homes”. You know, places where you can unload your kids so that you can focus more on serving the Lord, unhindered by their rock music and the way they whine over having to comply to a dress code…..

  13. Eight out of about 30 (almost one third!) are for pregnant girls.

    Guess people don’t want to keep them around if it makes the family look bad. 🙁

    I understand that Christians should step up to the plate when it comes to caring for orphans, but after the recent Hepzibah House stuff I’m very wary of girl’s homes.


  14. Richard…that may have been the funniest thing I have seen since the scene in “The Nutty Professor”. Back in the day we would rent the movie and fast forward to the dinner table debacle.

    JimE…I know God approves of karate because I took it for PE @ BoJo.

  15. I learned a tiny bit of Karate in the local homeschool co-op back in jr. high. Then I tried Capoeira in college, and quickly found out that my poor body couldn’t handle all of the standing-on-your-head stuff. Even these few short experiences probably makes me anathema to many of the more extreme indie fundies, which is just fine by me. : )

  16. @Lizzy thanks for the Hephzibah link. I hadn’t heard of that place till recently, and find it terrifying that it’s allowed to exist.

  17. I do love how some of the points along the side are not even articles, but posts from random people. It’s almost like any old thought was posted up there as an example. The “Stumbling Block” and “Not a Christian” sections almost seemed non sequitur, or at the very least, not providing any reasoning on the topic at hand.

    I do agree that this site is a lot more tame than some of the other ones you’ve linked to though.

  18. The Fundamentalist Institute helpfully posts up-to-date articles from the anti-Catholic 19th century about “Popery”. Let’s perpetuate bigotry.

  19. @Morgan: don’t you realize that they LOVE the Catholics, and simply want to save them from their Romish Popery and their Babylonian sun-worship?

  20. you know that “fundamental 500” graphic that’s on all the fundy websites? what exactly is going on there? is that a silhouette of a guy bending over to punch somebody who’s already on the ground?

    1. Ha Ha! 16 month response turnaround time! That’s lightning quick for fundies, I suppose.

    1. I take it you haven’t read any of the rest of the site.

      If you had, you’ll know that it’s kind of what I do here.

  21. The “child dedication” part should be replaced by the following:

    1) (Insert Name), Do you renounce the devil?
    2) And all his works?
    3) And all his ways?
    4) Do you believe in God the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
    5) Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son our Lord, who was born and suffered?
    6) Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, one holy Christian church, the community of saints, forgiveness of sins, resurrection of the body, and after death an eternal life?
    7) Do you want to be baptized?
    8) (Insert Name), I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. (Don’t forget to apply water.)

  22. I loved his line from the section on Fundamental home life, “The home life of a Fundamental Baptist Obviously, I have bitten off more than you can chew with this subject.” And, obviously, I cannot swallow it. 🙂

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