Coming soon to your church bookstore, a series of fundy Valentine’s Day cards to suit all needs…
Cover: Roses are red, violets are blue
Inside: I’ll get socialed if I hug you
Cover: I’ll pick you up at 8…
Inside: a.m. For soulwinning.
Cover: You make me shake, you make me shiver…
Inside: You set my culottes all aquiver
Cover: I love you.
Inside: And as soon as my father talks to your father and our pastor agrees, our courtship can begin.
Cover: You’re beautiful.
Inside: And I’d appreciate it if you’d stop that before I stumble.
Cover: Our eyes met across a crowded room…
Inside: …and I knew you’d pass my 104 item dating pre-screening checklist with flying colors.
Cover: Let’s spice this evening up
Inside: And BOTH hold the hymnbook at church
Cover: I love being in love with a pastor.
Inside: I wish my husband were one.
Feel free to add your own…
Looking back across the year here are the posts that made a splash in 2013.
Jim Standridge’s rant went truly viral ending up on CNN, Fox, and being covered by countless Internet sources. Let’s hope that in 2014 Young Cox manages to continue establishing his kingdom in the video room. Other videos such as Larry Smith Yelling and Larry Brown Smashing a Television were also popular.
The Pre-Courtship Questionnaire struck a nerve with a lot of people leaving us all to wonder if anybody finally managed to measure up or if this person is consigned to perpetually be trimming their wick alone.
A personal trip down memory lane about shared experiences at my alma mater elicited a lot of responses from people who had their own horrifying stories from Fundy U. The story then continued in Act IV: End of Days.
There were many responses to this post directed at those who ask why fundamentalists who are so damaged don’t just leave. Breaking free is never an easy task — though infinitely worth it even though sometimes we find ourselves Pining for the Leeks and Garlic.
Finally, there was a lot of good conversation the topic of people who claim to “Just Follow the Bible.” Because anybody who thinks that is a simple matter is probably doing it wrong.
Special mention goes to the Tell a Whopper Friday challenge that received over 1,000 responses leading me to the conclusion that you people just really love to tell tall tales. And I’m so glad you do.
Did you have a favorite fundy moment from 2013? Please feel free to share.
image by Nevit Dilmen
Christmas is now over for everybody but the billion followers of the liturgical calendar. For the rest of us, it’s time to do our penance for our celebrations by setting goals for the new year to be nicer, get healthier, and stop yelling at traffic.
Today’s challenge is to make a fundy resolution. Make it high-minded to the point of being impossible, self-righteous to the point of being intolerable, and just weird enough to make sure nobody else will have already shared it the next prayer meeting when you tell everybody how the Lord “laid it on your heart.”
I personally am going to take my Bible everywhere I go. My big family Bible that weighs 8 pounds. Even to the bathroom.
Let’s mark Christmas Eve this year with a carol that I’ve never heard performed in a fundamentalist church. (or at least not one in this country).
I appreciate one thing about my West Indian upbringing and that is the simple lesson that if your song is about something joyful it should SOUND and LOOK joyful. It would seem obvious but it’s something so often missed in the music debate.
What do you get for the fundy who as everything? How about Christmas with their pastor? What could be better than that?
Of course, in this case, if they want to have lunch with their last pastor they’ll have to eat prison food. I hope they chose their leader more wisely this time around.