Chalk Talks
Before multimedia displays and PowerPoint presentations, fundamentalists had chalk. Credit where it’s due, if done well, chalk talks were a great way to keep people’s attention and make a point. If done badly, however, the presentation may end up looking vaguely like a cubist artist’s impression of a sunset at the North Pole. In short, it’s a royal mess.
In the really extravagant chalk art presentations, a black light may be used to reveal hidden images at the end of the talk. Or perhaps, the artist would draw upside down and then later reveal the real picture by flipping over the canvas. Not too many people do this anymore; it’s really a shame. Watching someone doodle on a screen in MS Paint just isn’t quite the same.
If you’ve never seen a chalk talk done, you can check out a video of none other than Peter Ruckman giving a presentation while drawing an “original autograph.”
Alexander Scourby
For many fundamentalists, the voice of God sounds curiously like a Shakespearean actor from the 1930’s. For that matter, so does the voice of everyone else in the Bible from Adam to Zechariah.
Whether it’s the daily Bible reading on the radio, the cassette tapes enshrined in their plastic cases, or the original LP albums, Alexander Scourby is the voice of the King James Bible. Fundamentalists accept no substitutes. Not even James Earl Jones’ fine work recording the Bible can hope to compete with the long tradition of the original recordings. They are the Authorized Version.
Alexander Scourby’s skill is such that even the genealogies somehow take on a new and invigorating air when he gravely intones them. Perhaps Moses and Joshua and Boaz may not really have sounded like Scourby — but until we get to hear the originals, it would be hard to find a better substitute.
Blaming Mental Illness on Sin
…and if you think this is a little off, you should hear his theories about Cabbage Patch dolls.
Revivals
Once or twice a year, a fundamentalist church will hold a series of revival services. An evangelist or special speaker who is specially trained to give spiritual CPR will come into town and spend a few nights trying to get the church’s pulse going again. The fact that they are apparently so feeble that they needs periodic five-day-long jolts from a biblical defibrillator to keep them alive does not appear to bother fundies at all. They rather seem to enjoy it.
Revivals are a great time to combine a lot of fundy favorites: hard preaching, old fashioned altars, evangelist fish stories, and coming up with new things to feel guilty about. Throw in some special music and a few covered dish suppers and it’s a great time for everybody.
Another emphasis of revival services is bringing out lost people to hear the messages. This may strike some as odd since it would seem to be a contradiction in terms to try to ‘revive’ something that’s never been ‘vived’ in the first place. But the philosophy goes that if there’s preaching on sin going on, it’s a good idea to get a bunch of genuine sinners in to hear it. And there’s a reward Bible with your name on it if you can bring in the most.
Oh, Revive us again (and again, and again, and again).