Faking Cheerfulness
Are you letting the joy of Jesus show on your face? Never mind that He was a man of sorrows. Let’s ignore that the king upon who’s throne He sits spent a lot of time writing depressed poetry and music. Just put out of your mind the weeping and lamenting prophets. Just let the joy of Jesus shine on your face no matter what. Verbal beatings will commence until morale goes up.
If you’ve ever had a choir director launch a red-faced screaming tirade that you don’t look happy enough…you might have been a fundamentalist.
CAPS LOCK DURING ONLINE DEBATES
BECAUSE WHO REALLY NEEDS A WELL-CONSTRUCTED ARGUMENT WHEN YOU’VE GOT VIRTUAL VOLUME WHEREWITH TO BLAST THE LIBRALS, BACKSLIDERS AND COMPROMISERS?
Sunshine on the Soapsuds
If your fundamentalist church ran its own radio station (as an inordinate number do) you’ve probably heard these words pouring forth from your radio:
The Bible says, “Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1). Each day, Beneth Peters Jones shares with you spiritual helps for building rather than battering your home.
This is pure gold. A show by a housewife for housewives (who one supposes are listening whilst they are baking, cleaning, and doing obeisance to their husbands) could not help but be a hit with fundamentalists.
In the clip below, Beneth takes on the topic of “Depression.” Notice that she takes care to address her remarks to women. After all, you wouldn’t want a man thinking she was trying to tell him what to do.
edit: Audio source has since been removed…
I feel better already.
For more soapsuds goodness, be sure to check out her two
Vans
If this was your “family car” growing up…you may have been a fundamentalist.
