Valentines

Coming soon to your church bookstore, a series of fundy Valentine’s Day cards to suit all needs…

Cover: Roses are red, violets are blue
Inside: I’ll get socialed if I hug you

Cover: I’ll pick you up at 8…
Inside: a.m. For soulwinning.

Cover: You make me shake, you make me shiver…
Inside: You set my culottes all aquiver

Cover: I love you.
Inside: And as soon as my father talks to your father and our pastor agrees, our courtship can begin.

Cover: You’re beautiful.
Inside: And I’d appreciate it if you’d stop that before I stumble.

Cover: Our eyes met across a crowded room…
Inside: …and I knew you’d pass my 104 item dating pre-screening checklist with flying colors.

Cover: Let’s spice this evening up
Inside: And BOTH hold the hymnbook at church

Cover: I love being in love with a pastor.
Inside: I wish my husband were one.

Feel free to add your own…

116 thoughts on “Valentines”

  1. Cover: Roses are red, violets are blue
    Inside: The chaperones are all looking at you!

    Cover: You are lovely tonight, my dear, I must say!
    Inside: But the DP rules say at least 12 inches away!

    Cover: Roses are red, pickles are green
    Inside: I’d kiss you, my dear, but we would be seen.

    Cover: Our IFB church has petitioned the state to stop planting purple flowers along the highways.
    Inside: Because they do not want any more violets in the median.

    Cover: Your eyes were so blue, your gaze the heart frees.
    Inside: But I was expelled for making eye-babies.

  2. Cover: My eyebabies are almost all grown up now! Just look at them!
    Inside: Yes! Please enroll them at PCC! We’ll send you their eye-tuition!

  3. The Recent Comments section appears blank to me in both Chrome, Firefox & IE11. I see the header “Recent Comments” I just don’t see any actual users or links to their comments underneath it.

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