Q. 1. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify the pastor, and to support him forever.
Q. 2. What rule hath the pastor given to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy him?
A. All of them.
Q. 3. What do the scriptures principally teach?
A. The scriptures principally teach whatever the pastor says they teach.
Q. 4. What is the pastor?
A. Better than you.
Q. 5. Are there more pastors than one?
A. Not until the pastor’s son graduates from the Bible college in the trailer out back.
Q. 6. How many persons are there on the church staff?
A. There are three persons on the staff: the pastor, the song leader, and Chuck. Chuck is mostly just the pastor’s son in law.
Q. 7. What are the decrees of the pastor?
A. They’re all up on the wall of his study. He even got a doctoral decree a few years back.
Q. 8. How doth the pastor execute his decrees?
A. Sometimes he tells us Greek words and doesn’t even look them up or nothin.
Q. 9. What is the work of creation?
A. Most of our ladies do up a pretty good casserole.
Q. 10. How did God create man?
A. Perfect. Then women came along.
Q. 11. What are God’s works of providence?
A. This one time I didn’t go soul winning and I broke my leg a month later.
Q. 12. What special act of providence did God exercise toward man in the estate wherein he was created?
A. Well…he let a whole bunch of us be born American. So I guess that’s something.
Q. 13. Did our first parents continue in the estate wherein they were created?
A. Nope. Mine moved to Florida to be missionaries.
Q. 14. What is sin?
A. What isn’t sin would be a lot easier question to answer. It’s pert near everywhere.
Q. 15. What was the sin whereby our first parents fell from the estate wherein they were created?
A. I’m not sure we’re allowed to talk about that. Maybe I’ll draw you a picture.
(feel free to continue on…)