Hate your job? Peruse through the Independent Baptist Classified Ads and you’ll suddenly realize that no matter what you’re doing it could be much, much worse.

For example you could have a job here using your “bible college” education to cut the grass and be a general flunky:

The church needs a man to come and back up the pastor in both the activities of the church as well as the keeping of the grounds. This is a nonpaying position but housing is available. This assistant should be a King James only, independent Baptist who is the husband of one wife with some Bible college education. A degree in Christian Ministries or Theology is preferred. If you feel that God would have you be the #2 man for our church, please send your resume to…

Peruse through and let me know which position made you thankful not to be working there today.

378 thoughts on “Employment”

  1. For all their extolling of the virtues of capitalism, free markets, and competition, these people sure don’t understand how it applies to their situation. What kind of ‘leader’ do they think they will get that will work for free as long as he gets a place to stay? What kind of ‘education’ will a person have who can’t seem to find a paying job?

    1. Your comment reminded me of one of Darrell’s posts about working on-campus at PCC. One of the comments said, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Can’t you just see that happening here? “Don’t disagree with us, we don’t pay you actual money – we give you a place to live.”

      Good grief.

      1. If that hand would feed me more, I wouldn’t be so irritable all the time. Stomach pains put one in a bad mood.

    2. Adam Smith, the famous economist, actually spoke to this issue. He believed that nonconformist churches had better pastors than state churches did. The reason being that state churches often employed political appointees or nobles. They didn’t employ men who were truly interested in helping people.

      I think he applied the same to teachers. And there’s truth in it. If the pay scale is too lucrative then it tends to attract scoundrels. On the other hand, if it pays poorly then you attract people who can’t do anything else.

        1. Absolutely.
          I never have figured out why my fellow Texans seem to think it’s a good idea not to pay legislators enough to live on.

        2. I know! I know!

          Because they don’t want the legislators to get too comfortable legislating. Better to keep them anxious to go home and earn their living, than to sit in Austin and consume everybody else’s living.

        3. @BG: Most of the time, low pay for legislators => the notion of a legislator was “someone (e.g., a landowner) weel-off enogh to not need the pittance.” Now politics is a profession, neither a civic duty nor an avocation. OTOH, raising legislative pay might not improve the legislature – I’m sure the bulk of the financial need is for elections.

        4. I’ve seen- even on progressive sites- calls for legislators to be knocked down to minimum wage, supposedly with the result being that they a) would understand the plight of the poor better, a b) they would move to raise the minimum wage. I don’t think either would happen. But what most certainly would happen would be that the legislators would be even more vulnerable to the siren song of lobbyists’ cash.

        5. @Liutgard: the notion that paying politicians can be expected to live on minimum-wage pay if their salary was cut to that level is akin to the sort of thinking that returning the nation to non-fiat currency would fix the problems we have with inflationary spending, etc. As the brokers of power, they will have access to money. Period. The law and the public can work to prevent or stigmatize the worst abuses, but power attracts money. And politics, especially now, attracts the sort of people who will accumulate both.

        6. @BG, it doesn’t take the cream of the crop to repeal safety regulations/work place standards, and continually lower tax rates, now does it? 🙂

        7. Rob M:

          My point exactly.

          Remember that fertilizer depot that blew up in April, taking half the town of West with it? Know when was the last time it was inspected? That’s right, never.

        8. >Now politics is a profession, neither a civic duty nor an avocation.

          I think the point was to avoid or at least minimize politics becoming a profession, with the belief being that people who worked in the “real world” would make better governors.

  2. So a “degree” from a fundy college is less than a High School diploma?

    From this poster, a fundy diploma could land you a job as a “Pastors’ Second”. That’s sort of like a farmer where I’m from in South Carolina.

    If this is legit, I’d call up this pastor and see about the job. I can also organize a hoot-in-anty with hayrides and an appearance from The Marshall Tucker Band who played in Greenville at a farm benefit show. The show was just a couple miles down from the campus of Bob Jones.

    Ok I digress about getting the Marshall Tucker Band to play but in all seriousness, would anyone in his right mind humble himself to a M.O.G. for no wages?

    1. “would anyone in his right mind humble himself to a M.O.G. for no wages?”

      One does not “humble” one’s self to an MOG. One humiliates and imprisons oneself.

    2. Maybe someone who’s homeless. There’s probably a big-enough pool of homeless people who have Bible college degrees, so they’ll probably find someone to take up their generous offer of indentureship.

      1. A hoe-down and a hootenanny Carolina style featuring The Marshall Tucker Band, Allman Brothers, and .38 Special. Southern rock and fundamentalism collide featuring a special guest speaker at the end and it will air on TBN, but sadly…….

        Most Ivy league grads in the last 7 years still can’t find gainful employment so if ya got a Fundy diploma don’t feel too bad.

        Oh and I forgot the hay ride and seed spitting contests, it’s the south ya know!

    1. Yeah.
      I thought I’d read them all to find the most absurd one, but all of them were just too depressing, and I gave up.

      The last straw was the one from the would-be missionary to Jalisco, Mexico (which she describes as “a large city”). I make the mistake of clicking the link to her site, where I learned that the great majority of Mexican children are headed straight to hell. What’s their terrible crime? Being Catholics.
      Sigh. 🙁

        1. Yes, exactly.
          I think the missionaries who do the most damage are the ones who can’t tell the difference between their own local culture and the Gospel.

  3. I’m just surprised I don’t see more @juno.com emails listed… 😛

    Also, reading through these is just painful.

    1. Oh dear… found another one. This might explain why we hardly ever hear any meat or biblical exposition from most IFB pulpits:

      “I am a 30yr old fundamental independent baptist, KJV only pastor that has been called to VA. I have served as assistant pastor for 3 yrs, and have completed bible colledge. I am prayerfully seeking God to open a door of great oppertunity for my family and me. I do not wish to limit God in any way, just follow Him. I will provide more details apon request.”

    2. Is it really a good idea to put in your CV that you are an expert at “concealing”? 😯

      Meanwhile, please help me get out of my mind the image that mention of his “fluid” wife produces … 😯 😯

    3. Someone should do this fellow a favor and tell him he should have someone (not him or his wife) copyedit his entry. It’s just embarrassing. If I were on a hiring committee and his resume floated over the transom, I would count serious point off for his lack of attention to detail. If he can’t make absolutely certain that his resume is correct, what other things would he let slide?

    4. You are a hoot my friend 😀 I just healed myself of several physical calamities from the laughter your post just produced. Much obliged.

    5. Why on earth would that guy think it’s ok to molly coddle people who “don’t agree with interracial marriage”?

      1. He says his wife is Ethiopian, so his own marriage is interracial. He realizes that limits his job possibilities with IFB churches. But why he wants to work for people who condemn his marriage is an interesting problem for psychologists.

        1. I missed that detail. It’d be an interesting psychological study if it was just he knew they were wrong & wanted to work for them anyway.

          That makes it almost troubling his lack of concern for his wife & kids safety & emotional well being.

    6. I find it beyond sad that he feels the need to apologize for his wife’s ethnicity (as if it’s anyone’s business!) or his son’s health concerns. If this doesn’t demonstrate the IFB’s intolerance for anyone who doesn’t fall into lockstep, I don’t know what does.


      1. In a book I read a long time ago, the author said that Christians (IFB?) are too willing to assign the worst of motives all the time; he said that we should seek the possibility of truth before proclaiming the probability of error.

        Maybe this man is just being kind to potential congregations; some may have an issue with the “mixed” marriage. Whether or not we agree with their stance isn’t the point. Some churches do, and he’s being upfront.

        As for the son’s medical issues, they are relevant if they are going to be a cost drain on the church, or if he will need to have more than usual time off to be with his son.

        I find him mentioning these two points to be refreshing and honest, and I commend him.

        Does it condemn IFB churches that he does this? I wouldn’t be so quick to condemn them all; some people have very sincere beliefs that mixed marriages are wrong. As long as they are consistent (that is, condemn Oriental-Caucasian marriages as much as equally with black-white marriages), it isn’t necessarily racist. One has to wonder when such people ONLY are against black-white marriages, though, if racist thinking isn’t coming into it.

        1. Got to disagree there, GR. Racist thinking is always behind people’s “very sincere beliefs that mixed marriages are wrong,” by definition. There’s really no way to parse that so it isn’t racist.

          he fact that he mentions up front that his wife is African is fine. No problem there. It’s his semi-apologetic attitude about it, and his espression of a willingness to accomodate condemnation of such marriages by others, that causes concern.

          Surely his wife is hurt, if not outraged, by this attitude. From her resume, his wife sounds pretty great. A normal husband would say, “This is my wife, I’m proud of her, isn’t she wonderful?”
          Not “Oh, I’m so sorry you don’t approve, please let me work for you anyway, and I’ll tiptoe all the time so I don’t offend your ignorant notions of racial purity.”

        2. I agree with BG. He could have “warned” potential congregations just as easily by displaying a family photo or a photo of just him and his wife. That would pretty easily eliminate racist churches.

          Also, I’m well aware that not all IFB churches are racist. I belonged to one: I’d guess 25 percent of the congregation were minorities (mostly AA but also LA and Asian Americans). My church welcomed all. But I’m also not naive enough to believe that this man and his wife have not felt the sting of racist hate from IFB churches because of their marriage.

        3. How is it not racist to condemn anybody for marrying outside of their race? You can have the most sincere beliefs in the world, that doesn’t change what those beliefs are.

  4. Check out the very bottom of the site. Under “Helpful Hints” it says “no abbreviations”. How many times does “KJV” appear in those ads? Is “KJV” not an abbreviation?

      1. “Revivals.”

        Yet another in a long line of cases in which “they keep on using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means.”

  5. I am saddened by the ads. Those poor people are stuck in a horrible life-cycle. They’re like hamsters on a wheel, and they think they’re doing God’s work. In reality, they are forcing their hamster-wheel life on their followers. 😥

  6. Award for the most confusing ad on the site (what exactly is this man getting at)?

    My name is Paul Pullen and I am looking for a church or mission to pastor. I am KJV only, have been preaching for 25 years (this June) and have a yearning desire to preach the Gospel. I have served as pastor of churches in Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee, Arkansas and most recently in Kentucky. I meet ALL of the qualifications of I Timothy 3 and have 4 children all still living at home. It seems that every church that I have pastored has been small, recently went through some type of trouble, going through some type of trouble, or couldn’t find a pastor because of their reputation or because they could not pay him enough. I expect no pay but would accept it IF the church was able to pay. I really like a special love offering for me as Pastor as the form of payment/salary.

    blah blah blah I’m great blah blah for some mysterious reason all the churches I’ve pastored have fallen apart blah blah you don’t have to pay me but it sure would be nice blah blah I like Love Offerings 👿

    1. One of the basic things they teach you in “How to Find a Job” seminars is that when you’re applying for a job, it’s not a great idea to do a lot of complaining about your last job.

      Hint, hint.

      1. I got the impression that he was trying to say that he takes on churches that everyone else has written off. What he does not say though is whether he gets them back on their feet, or if he gives them the coup de grace.

        1. yeah, that’s probably the idea. I still don’t understand what “couldn’t find a pastor because of their reputation” even means . . . he’s been hanging around Churches of Ill Repute? In any case it’s not very loyal to his former employers to be representing them as a bunch of losers like this. What kind of church does he expect to hire him?

      1. yep. The church that owned the Christian school I grew up in had a pastor whose entire salary was “love offerings.”
        He also didn’t allow children of church members to have social security numbers (how they avoided it, I don’t know). And he instructed everyone to horde for Y2k. One family in the church had their house burn down because some of the gas they were hoarding caught fire. This is also the pastor who preached a sermon SERIES on the 5 white evils (bread, eggs, milk (because of growth hormones), rice, and sugar). One food item per message.
        Most of the families in the church had 8+ kids, pitbulls, multiple guns, etc. Oh, did I mention the 13 year old church member’s son who shot himself in the head with one of said guns? Not that this deterred anyone.
        Last time I called the church, I got an answering machine message that said, “Welcome to Lowell Baptist Church. We believe in the 1611 King James Bible and the 2nd Amendment. Leave a message.”
        The funny thing is, if we wrote a fictionalized book about all the wacked out stuff we’ve seen, it would come off as cheesy and unrealistic.

        1. Did you see the recent Friday Challenge, in which we were to write stories about life in Fundystan, and have people guess if the stories were true or not?

          It was approaching book length.

          And the overwhelming majority of the stories were true.

        2. Excommunicated, in what part of rural Idaho was this church? 😉

          At least they’re honest about what they worship: The KJV and guns.

        3. I think the only reason that you are mandated to have a social security number for your children is to claim them as dependents on your taxes. If you are against social security numbers enough to miss the dependent tax deductions you theoretically could avoid getting them one until they are seeking employment. Before the 80s you could claim dependents without having any proof of their actual existence, and it was widely abused of families over-reporting the number of dependents. I believe it was Reagan in 86 tax reforms that mandated you have to have a social security number for anyone you are claiming as a dependent.

        4. Nice memory. I remember getting mine at 12, which would’ve been 1986, because my parents needed it for their taxes.

        5. Some insurance programs require children to have SS numbers too in order to be covered.

        6. this was actually in the Northwest Indiana area–the same area as Hyles-Anderson and First Baptist Church. In fact a lot of Lowell Baptist’s members came over from First Baptist in the 80s and 90s.
          Out of the frying pan . . .
          and to Big Gary: yes, it had to be brown sugar and rice, brown eggs, whole wheat flour, and raw milk (preferably from your own cow, which you were to milk barefoot and 8 months pregnant).
          What this had to do with the gospel of Christ I’ll never know.

        7. The other things I understand, but there is no difference between brown eggs and white. Talk about fussy. 🙄

        8. I’ve had chickens that laid green eggs. 😯 Where does that fit in? 😉

    2. Shouldn’t all pastors preach the gospel? Or does that mean, hellfire and brimstone every Sunday?

  7. Exactly, a degree in “Christian Ministries” is easily read as a degree in “Slave Labor.” I remember when church that supported my dad for $25 a month as a missionary had my dad do at least $30,000 in plumbing for free on their new church building.

    1. If that’s the case I’m going to pull a LeBron James:

      “I’m taking my talents down to Pensacola Beach”

      Southeastern Seminary has a program for “Christian Ministries” and all it does is basically be an intern for Southern Baptist Youth Camps in the Carolinas. In IFB world, it’s signing your life away to the “One World Order”.

    2. yessa, masta, whatever you says masta, please don’t beats me masta, I enjoysa bein brow beat and workin fo scraps masta

  8. To be fair: I’ve seen at least one comment opining that those looking for jobs on this forum must be pretty desperate – and I agree with that. Could the atrocious spelling and grammar be part of the cause of that desperation? 😎

  9. The unpaid pastor from very small churches don’t bother me as much as the unpaid assistant job offers. By the time a church is large enough to require an assistant they should be able to pay for one, even if it’s part time.

    Until a church runs 100 consistently, I don’t think they should even think about an assistant. A common benchmark for fundagelical churches is one minister for every 125-150 attendees (not members). That ratio can be improved with by utilizing small groups and good lay ministry programs.

    A lot of times I think IFB churches feel like they have to have a youth pastor to be a real church, much the same way as they “need” a bus ministry and to support 35 missionaries (even at $5/mo).

    A lot of the smaller rural churches around here share pastors. I’m thinking of United Methodists, American Baptist, or Holiness churches. The guy either preaches the same message every Sunday, or he rotates through on a schedule. It’s also common for pastors to be retired men living off a pension. There are ways of making it work for small churches… but the stereotypical IFB way does not work.

    1. Not to get all logical or anything, but if these small churches are all sharing a pastor, why not, you know, just combine congregations and be done with it?


      1. A lot of them are small country churches and they fill or at least halfway fill their building. There’s no debt and sometimes there are endowments large enough to keep the church running indefinitely. So it’s actually cheaper to continue as is than to build a new, larger building.

        That and the fact they can be a fair distance apart. In the early settlement of the United States it was common on the frontier for pastors to ride circuits must like judges did. It’s a tradition that’s continued because it works.

        I did talk to a Methodist preacher who told me he was over six churches “but one of them is so small it started meeting with the other.” Each congregation ran about 10-15 except his largest, that ran 25-30. In cases like that, yeah, they need to combine.

        1. Yeah, I can see that, in some cases. When we lived in the States, we drove 45 minutes (about 40 miles) to church. If these arrangements were made back in the early days of cars…well, old traditions die hard.

          As long as they are happy!

        2. I live in a large metro area. There seem to be hundreds of churches within just a few square miles. Many of those surely could combine, use their gifts more effectively, and enjoy more fellowship (always something important to me growing up pretty lonely in our tiny church).

        3. In the UM church, they are called charges. The goal is that between the churches they can pay the whole salary of the pastor. These churches don’t want to close. Some of them have a licensed local pastor or a lay speaker.

        4. Yes, charges… that’s the word I was looking for. Even if a preacher has 3-4 churches in their charge, he or she may still be only part time.

  10. Distance, usually. A friend of mine is splitting his time between a UMC church and a UCC church, and they are on diagonally opposed ends of the city. He alternates Sundays.

    My great-grandfather was a Mennonite bishop, and in the 20s and 30s he ‘rode circuit’- went from town to town, providing ministry to small churches that were far apart. It meant that tiny churches out in the prairies (Canada) got regular visits, sermons, and Communion. A better deal than insisting on full-time work from someone but giving him 1/8 time pay.

    1. I’m working at our (small, Canadian) town museum this year, and historically the pastors here did the same sort of thing. We’re about 20 miles from another town. So when the church was built here, it was shared between the Presbyterians and the Methodists, as was the church in the other town. Our town had a Presbyterian preacher, and their town had a Methodist preacher. So the buildings would trade pastors every second Sunday – one Sunday our town would have a Presbyterian service, while the other town would have a Methodist service, and the next week they’d switch. I love that sweet, sweet example of denominations working together.

      1. Interesting. The way I’ve seen it done here is that the churches usually each have their own buildings.

        If it’s a Methodist church, the same preacher will often preach four times on Sunday.

        If it’s a Baptist church he might only preach once, but will rotate between churches. On the “off” weeks the churches will have Sunday School, and then start a regular service but dismiss after the singing or maybe a short exhortation from a deacon.

  11. Really, my heart breaks for anyone who is unemployed or underemployed. I just wonder how many of the men looking for pastoral positions were emotionally manipulated into thinking they received the call to preach. Now these men are floundering because there is not a great demand for IFB preachers, especially in regions where non-IFB churches exist who— as much as IFBers are loath to admit it— do indeed preach the gospel of Christ.

    1. My experience with a great number of the students of a large seminary in Louisville that’s quite popular with people who think they’ve graduated and moved on from being IFB, is that most graduates end up in a similar although not quite as poor position. I used to get e-mails all the time from them asking if I could get them a job. One of their own administrators told me to my face that only 30% of their graduates ever bothered going into a ministry job and half of them quit within three years. That’s a 15% success rate.

      Another seminary that is very close geographically to that one, but rather distant theologically, has about a 70-75% success rate.

    2. I agree it is heartbreaking, on the other hand, it is comforting to KNOW I am not competing with any of these people in my personal job search. Its ‘good’ to make the candidate pool a little smaller for the better jobs out there.

  12. This guy taught at the fundy u I attended! Guess things didn’t work out. He had some really wack ideas about the end times and creation…

    My name is Bob Dustman an I am the director of “Strengthening Those Things That Remain” ministry a needs ministry to local Independent Baptist Churchs. I have pastored for 33yrs and have been in the ministry for 44yrs. I have pastored 3 church’s; administered Christian schools; taught in a Bible college; served on pastoral staff and am a certified chaplain. I am seeking to help church’s that are with out a pastor on a interim bases. I live in Knoxville Tn and would like to be available to help church’s in east Tn.

  13. Great find Darrel !! I might be interested in one of the non-paying jobs.

    No, telling where that may lead. On second thought maybe NOT!

  14. Did anyone else out there HAVE one of these jobs? I got $125/week and a small house to live in (I had to pay all the utility bills). I only managed because I was single at the time. NO one could have supported a family on that!

    1. Not I, but my dad and grandfather both worked for the IFB.

      Grandpa was a pastor, with a family of five. My mom tells stories about how her mom used to make one chicken last for five meals.

      She said that the church motto generally was “You keep him humble, Lord, and we’ll keep him poor.”

      Dad maintained a fleet of forty buses in a building that wasn’t big enough to fit a bus, which meant that he worked in the bitter cold all winter. His workdays were often 20 hours long. He was paid so little, we couldn’t afford to buy meat for six months at a time.

      But the pastor drove a late-model Cadillac, if memory serves.

      Watching and hearing all this, I swore that I would never owe my livelihood to a church.

      1. My dad worked under similar conditions throughout my formative years. Things are better now that he’s a senior pastor instead of a Christian school teacher, but I don’t know if they’ll ever dig themselves out of the debt from medical expenses incurred while they were trying to live on virtually nothing. There was at least one year that my dad was asked to teach for free (and I’m pretty sure he said yes). They still believe they were 100% right to stay in that toxic environment and that the fact that they are better off now is God’s reward for their faithfulness all those years.

    2. I didn’t, but had close friends who worked at the Christian School who were in the pauper category. A few of the single women teachers lived together in a house the church owned, and still had trouble making ends meet. I don’t know what the rent was, but it probably wasn’t in their favor. The house was called “the Nunnery”.

      One of them, who is now married to a good friend, was having trouble living on the salary, and put off her tithe for a week to pay a bill. The superintendent (pastor) went to her and told her if she couldn’t tithe, they could replace her with someone who could.
      I’m sure he had the office personnel looking and ratting on everything and everyone.

      1. Nothing says “Love one another as I have loved you” like extorting money with the benefit of confidential information.

      2. Yeah most of the el ed majors I knew at PCC went on to jobs making $11,000 to $15,000 a year. This would have been the 1998-2002 time frame, so you need to take 30% onto that. But still… WTF.

      3. That’s pathetic. I was making about three times that during around that period *without* a college degree.

        That’s part-time fast-food pay right there. *If that.

  15. I’ll drink to that. 27 years in August. It could not be all bad. 🙂

  16. “who is the husband of one wife with some Bible college education”…in other words, a wife who can volunteer for Sunday school teacher, nursery duty, day care, teaching in the basement Christian school, organizing church dinners, etc. Two slaves for the price of one. 😈

  17. My daughter has a sweet little friend working in a hell hole like that. She is so sweet and loves her little people in her class but the admin. Is in every facet of her life. We have begged her to leave. I’m just waiting for the shoe to drop and her to be crushed.

    1. Haven’t you heard? You are suppose to tithe your increase. Because the church provides housing that is an increase, therefore the pastor should be tithing 10% of how much he would be paying if he had to pay for his housing out of his pocket.

      Our former pastor frequently preached tithe your increase. So if people gave him veggies from their garden he would figure out the monetary value of the vegetables and tithe off that.

      1. I’m definitely reminded of the rebuke to the Pharisees. Funny how calculating a tithe is worth so much effort, when the more profound matters of extending forgiveness, loving one another, etc. are ignored or downplayed. 🙄

      2. This is soooo true. When we lived on base, my dad had to figure out how much he should tithe off that. AND tithe his pre-tax income. AND make sure we girls tithed off our allowances.

        When you only got $5 a week, that .50 tithe and .50 mission offering sure ate up a lot of the “profits.” :/

  18. I had to come up with this track based on the situation:

    I make living cleaning the Pastor’s shoes
    Just give me something, something I can use
    Pastor’s says I’m paying dues
    It’s just dirty laundry

    Well I could have been an actor but I wound up here
    I don’t have to look good I just have to be clear
    Pastor yelling in my ear
    He love’s dirty laundry

    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em when they’re down
    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em when they’re down
    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em when they’re down
    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em all around

    He’s got a bubble headed bleach blonde who cooks good pies
    She can tell ya pants are a sin with the gleam in her eye
    Interesting when fundies lie
    They love dirty laundry

    Can we go soul-winning? Are the girls up yet?
    The preacher boys on the bus route have a running bet
    Don’t pictures yet
    We need dirty laundry

    You don’t really need to know what’s going on
    Preacher says its private with whats going on
    Just leave well enough alone
    With your dirty laundry

    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em when they’re down
    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em when they’re down
    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em when they’re down
    Kick ’em when they’re up
    Kick ’em all around

    Dirty little secrets
    Dirty little lies
    We’ve got our dirty little fingers in everybody’s pie
    Preacher boys love to cut you down to size
    We love dirty laundry

    We can do the Innuendo
    But we can’t dance or sing
    When its said and done your diploma isn’t worth a thing
    We all know The Pastor’s King
    With his dirty laundry

    1. That should have come with an earworm alert! Now I’m going to be thinking “Kick em when they’re up, kick ’em when they’re down” the rest of the afternoon! 😆

    2. Ye gods and little fishes, you’ve made a parody better than the original, and I’m not just whistling OJ Simpson. 😎

  19. A job I am very glad I never took: teacher at the local K-6 “Christian school.” Even back then, I thought it was weird that they called themselves “the local Christian school” when the K-8 Catholic school was less than a mile up the road and the Orthodox high school for troubled youth was about a mile and a half in the other direction.

    Anyway, I sat down with the application. They wanted the date I had been saved.

    As a born and raised Lutherpalian, living in the freedom of the Spirit and a strong believer in a private relationship with God, I recoiled in disgust. My instant reaction was, “What the hell, do you also want to inquire as to my private time with my husband?” At the time, I was using sarcastic hyperbole. I am so glad I wasn’t desperate enough to take that job because I had no idea that they would probably really want to do that.

  20. What does “bi-vocational” mean? I’m amazed at the number of the positions that are “unpaid at this time, but housing is available.” Soo…they want to hire someone to do all the grunt work, but not bother to pay them?! Nothing could go wrong there!

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