Dating Rules: Crown College Edition
You can view the entire handbook including some really fantastic modesty guidelines for women students here (PDF). On the upside, at least this “college” has the guts to actually post its student handbook online. (I’m looking at you BJU and PCC).
(For more on Crown College you can check out a promotional video we featured last year.)
Posted by Darrell
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Cushla Macree! That has to be the single biggest pile of manure I’ve read in a while. At least they’re honest enough to put it out there so the kids actually have a clue about what they’re getting into. That said, If I’d read that as a high school senior, there is NO FREAKIN’ WAY I’d set foot on that campus.
All I can say is that people who are stupid enough to agree to these rules deserve to be held to them. Yep, that describes fundies to a tee!
One reads this bullshit and thinks “Is this really too much different than Sharia law”? How dare fundies criticize fundamentalist Islam when they spout the same crap? Really sickening.
That’s a little over the top, don’t you think? Nobody here is going to be beaten for meeting someone of the opposite sex without a chaperone. Expelled, maybe, but not beaten. No co-ed with a skirt that’s too short will have their legs whipped and spray painted red. Even if two students here are caught having sex, neither is going to be stoned. Relax, we’re a long ways from Sharia.
Ehh, I think it depends on the parents if the offenders are beaten. Think “Pearl”.
That’s not what sharia is even about. !! It’s simply a moral code for Muslims, and includes … praying. Showering. Giving to charity. Really far-out stuff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharia
hiring yourself out as a third person, its a good gig if you can get it.
Oh and my younger sister enrolled in this college this fall for the single purpose of meeting a man. good Lord.
Wouldn’t meeting a man work out better in a place where you could, you know, talk to guys and stuff?
I suppose the odds are slightly better than the compound she lived in and the 10 member church she went to.
No college for me, they force men to wear womanly clothing: trousers!
REAL MEN WEAR KILTS!!
Shalom
Hermann
All I got is wow.
Are you kidding me? Interracial dating must be approved by both parents in writing and verbally?
Do these people realize that segregation is gone? Jim Crow is gone? It’s not 1960 anymore?
That last sentence is heresy to IFBaptists. It will always be 1960 for them.
Don’t you mean 1611?
I just skimmed the rule book. What a bunch of crap. Are you serious? Permission to leave campus? These are what 18 to 22 year old adults? Insane.
Wow talk about a FIRESTORM!!!I All rules begin for a reason some because the people who made them are crazy and others because they were trying to protect the purity of the students. I went to a Bible College in the late 80′s and it was fairly strict but nothing like this.
Two things strike me the most about the policy. I am a dad with two teenagers so I am going to implement the 3rd party policy. Just kidding, kind of. Even the Amish allow their kids who date some time alone even if it is only the wagon ride home after a church event. At some point you have to let your grip go a bit so people can mature and yes there will be mistakes.
However, the interracial dating thing is just crazy. Being a Canadian and living near Toronto one of the most multicultural cities in the world this seems so foreign to me. I understand the history and the baggage that comes with the issue but shouldn’t the church be an example and leader in race relations?
To be consistent if you are going to ask permission of both parents then every dating coupe on campus should have the same requirements. Who wants people of different heights or different states dating? Who knows what this might that lead to? Actually, to make things easier why not just arrange marriages from first semester that way it takes the pressure off?
Looking back 30+ years ago to my first rip to Fundy U,there were a lot of kids who needed the rules. They were like @Apathetic says his social skills were. There were others of us whose parents had given them a bit of rope and hadn’t yet hung themselves (ourselves?), so the rules were a bit constricting. Maybe I should have tried following more of them, but since I’m in the 29th year of actually enjoying, not enduring my marriage to the girl I met there, it worked for me.
My second trip to a different Fundy U, I was married and lived off campus so the rules didn’t apply. Except the silly rule about physical contact on campus, in case a visitor saw us. “They might not know we were married and get the wrong idea.” (I plead the 5th as to whether I ever broke that rule, by the way.)
My thought has always been in any ministry I had a part in, that most of the kids in my classes needed a good example, and that seeing me hold my wife’s hand, treat her respectfully, and show that I truly liked her was better than having them wonder if any church leaders had good relationships or just talked about them.
Just read the dress code section … I can’t wear my tragus ring. Fine. But how in the holy heck would they know whether or not any other body part was pierced unless they were looking, and what right do they have to examine my body in search of tats or piercings? That’s grotesquely intrusive. If my tats and piercings are where they can’t be seen, then they are no one’s business but mine. Seems like it shouldn’t be a problem for the school.
What a pile of manure. It would be easier if they put in the book what you can do!
Crown College’s Book of What You May Do
1. Females may attend classes or church as long as they wear burqas and keep their eyes cast down at all times. They may speak when spoken to.
2. Males may attend classes or church as long as they avoid looking at females (those bulky-looking things covered head to toe in cloth). If they are married, they may touch their wives once a month if they bathe well afterwards. If they are single, they may speak to a female if they have permission from staff.
3. Males and females both may do other activities as determined by staff, but they may not ask permission to do these activities. They must wait for staff to determine what is or is not acceptable.
Another thing that jumped out at me: According to the rules, if you somehow make a friend who has a house off campus and you are invited to bring your plus-one to a party at that house, you must also bring along a chaperone who has been approved by the college.
Can you imagine trying to explain who that third person is and why they are in your friend’s living room? Can you imagine being that third person? Has this ever actually happened, or is it just doublespeak for “You may not form connections of friendship with local people?”
Trust me. This is NOT doublespeak and yes it DOES happen.
It’s extremely awkward.
Just think of the “good testimony” you will be as you bring along your uninvited guest that nobody else knows to the party…a guest that you probably don’t even really know yourself.
I would just start calling them my paid bodyguard. As bizarre as that sounds, it is far less weird than calling them my chaperone or a party crasher that follows me around. Let them deal with the questions about their career choice.
Aside from the interracial dating rule (which is hands down the most outrageous and offensive thing in this list), these people are practically begging for their students to be both emotionally and sexually dysfunctional.
I place blame in three areas for the troubles my husband and I have had in our marriage – one third to Fundy U for such dating rules as we could never get to know each other in a real life situation, one third to our fundy pastor’s premarital counselling which covered nothing relevant to marriage (finances and in-laws would have been a huge help), and one third to our ignorance in being so young and getting married and not recognizing the prior two.
So, let me get this right. They define dating as “being with or talking to a member of the opposite sex other than a brief, casual encounter.”
So, then, by their definition, this includes even your mom?
What a bunch a sick Bast$%^ds
That brings up an interesting point. I knew a few brother/sister combos at college. They had to only talk to each other in the approved dating areas. That IS creepy when you think about it.
Seriously creepy. Same with silly rules barring married couples from public displays of affection: wouldn’t it benefit kids to see loving married couples?
It takes a warped mind to consider such things shameful.
“Interracial dating must be approved in writing and verbally by the parents of both students” keeps flashing in front of my eyes, over and over, like an alarm clock’s numbers. I . . . I . . . wow.
Holy crap Jesus must be crying over these people.
Amen to that. Now we know why Jesus wept.
At least he probably laughs away the tears by reading this blog.
A lot of the dress code stuff reminded me of my all-girls Catholic high school… but it seemed less vile when applied to minors instead of GROWN UPS. Also, some of it was just out there. “Ladies” can’t even HAVE pants on campus, let alone WEAR them, EVER? You have to wear culottes to exercise? (Are you ALLOWED to exercise?)
I went to the school’s web site and looked at their photo galleries because, I’m not going to lie, the fundies fascinate me. The photos of the volleyball team show that the ladies wear shorts for their competitions.
I feel defrauded.
I did not grow up fundy. I actually met my ex in college. We went to a state u together. It was very heartbreaking watching his transformation to full fundy. During his transformation, when we would make out he would make us pray quickly afterwards. He would pray things like “forgive her for being a temptress”. It was real hurtful and made me feel awful and like a harlot. Obviously, the relationship did not work out as I was too “worldly” for him and I did not meet the “helpmeet” checklist. When we broke up, he was so deep into crazy that he truly believed Satan brought us together. He ended up with a christian educated girl. I hope she was not too upset when I told her she’s not the first girl he has kissed.
Heaven help any girl he married, fundy or not. This kind of thing burns my butt. The nerve. He blamed you for being a temptress, but not himself, it’s always the woman’s fault. That’s the reason for all the preaching on modesty… always directed to women. If a man is tempted, it’s our fault never his. Such bull puckey. When will men take responsibility for their own temptations instead of always blaming us?
Seems like it would be kind of a mood-killer to have to get on your knees and pray for forgiveness after making out.
When instead, he should have gotten on his knees to give thanks.
Well on the plus side, I think the prohibition against dating 14 year olds is pretty good rule.
Yeah, but the 16 year old high school juniors are still fair game for the 21/22+ year old college seniors.
Would it be wrong to share the entire handbook with my 15yo daughter, so she will
Ooops, hit enter, duh.
…so she will realize the moat around our home is NOT excessive?
Hi. I know the last post on this was from February. But I couldn’t help but respond to this thread. I went to HAC and graduated in 2010. I originally planned on taking my degree in Marriage and Motherhood, but a teacher there advised me to consider getting a teaching degree. When I was a sophomore/junior, I fell and snapped my ankle and foot very badly… I had to have 4 months physical therapy just to be able to walk again. When I fell, I was surrounded by about 8 – 10 college guys. One stooped down and asked me if there was anything he could do… at that moment I wanted NO ONE to touch me, I was afraid they would make something worse. When a staff member saw all those guys just standing there, she scolded them for doing nothing. So that it wouldn’t be improper two men, one being a student and the other being an administrator, carried me up a few flights of steps and took me to a car where a lady student/staff member took me to the emergency room. These accusations of not being to help a lady when she falls are ridiculous. That is simply not true. The male students may know the rule about not touching, and THINK it applies in those situations but that is not true. I’m glad they had rules about not touching. If you can’t follow these simple rules in Bible college, what makes you think you can follow God’s rules in life? Granted, there were rules I didn’t like, one of the purposes of the rules was to test where your heart is at. If you don’t obey those in authority, what makes you think you’ll obey the God which placed them over you? Also, you have to have a code of conduct. You are soldiers in the Lord’s army, shouldn’t it be
higher than that of the U.S. military? About the degrees being worthless? Ya they’re worthless if you don’t go into ministry.. duh! The purpose is to train workers for the
ministry. Bible college isn’t for everyone. That’s why you have to get accepted?! I have two degrees in education from Bible colleges (I earned my Master’s Degree @ WCBC) and of course I can’t get a job as a teacher in a public school. I didn’t get two teaching degrees to teach in a public school. I was training for the ministry. I didn’t get a degree to make a living on; I got a degree to live for Jesus. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills; He will provide! I’m not rich; in fact, you could consider me poor, but I have a place to live, a husband who loves me, food on the table, and great God to serve! I’m not a “crazy fundamentalist”, but if I was, I’d rather be crazy for God and poor than rich and sane and not serving Christ. Yea, I’m a woman, but realize they do not say women should be treated like inferiors, but that we get special treatment by gentlemen! About the racist issue, oh I could go on forever. The issue is not racist. Some hold the belief that God commanded not to marry those of other races. Others, like me, believe that God commanded to not marry into other religions. Most college students were sent to Bible college by their parents (not all) and entrusted the college with their precious children (they will always be children in their parents’ eyes, especially if they reared their children carefully in the admonition of the Lord); therefore, the college wants to be sure they are aware their children are dating of another race (because culture CAN and HAS caused problems between families). They are not saying it is wrong, they are just trying to be “peacemakers”. Can you argue with that? I didn’t marry someone from Bible college, but I dated there. I’m afraid to say that if some of those rules were not in place, I may have ruined myself for my husband, or felt obligated to marry the wrong one for that very reason. Many teenagers in the world ruin themselves everyday. At least somewhere we know that someone is trying to prevent that from happening. I’m sorry, but each year of college, I would look back at the new freshmen class and see how immature they were. They are in a transition stage coming out of high school and there are some rules that NEED to be places there to control their desire to do and try things they couldn’t while living at mom and dad’s house. I believe these rules help to contain them while they mature. By the time they reach their senior year, most will have matured enough to marry. If you think that’s wrong, then don’t go there, but I for one plan on sending my children to Bible college. Will I force them? No. But I will encourage it like my dad did for me. He didn’t tell me I HAD to go, but that if I did, he would help me financially to get through it. If all are preachers and missionaries, etc. there would be no doctors, or lawyers, or anything else that we need in life; therefore, Bible college isn’t for everyone. I stand as one who grew up in the “Fundy” home went to 2 “Fundy” colleges, earned 2 “Fundy” degrees, and I’m still a Bible-believing, KJV only, Independent, Fundamental Baptist and married to one. I am glad I didn’t quit, and I’m glad I’m not leaving fundamentalism. God doesn’t change; why should I, if I am following Him? Life is better when you aren’t criticizing God and His men and His colleges. If God be for us, who can be against us?
Mrs. Hamilton, I wish to make a few points to you.
1. If you are 18 years of age, you are considered enough of an adult to vote and go fight for your country and give your life on a battlefield somewhere, but yet you proclaim people of this age are unable to make their own decisions about who they will date , the music to which they listen, and what they choose to wear.
**People from your camp also proclaim that Jack Schaap’s UNDERAGE victim was a seductress that knew exactly what she was doing, and place blame upon her. Do you see any contradictions there?**
2. Peacemaker or not, the Bible does not condemn interracial marriage, regardless of what some ignorant hillbilly thinks. It is Crown College’s responsibility to take a stance on this “doctrine” and leave it up to the parents to object, if they are ignorant enough to do so. There are some Gothardite fundys out there who think you shouldn’t eat pork. Should Crown “keep the peace” and ask for permission slips to eat ham sandwiches?
3. Rules do not “keep you from ruining yourself”. This is the very definition of legalism. The sin nature with which you were born already ruined you from the beginning. You made a decision to remain sexually pure or not, and the college does not have a role in maintaining your chastity.
4. God did not establish Bible colleges. He established His church. That is even in the KJV only Bible you proclaim to follow.
5. All people should be trained in some sort of marketable trade. Bible colleges hinder this by having no regional accredidation and by being run by faculty and administration with little to know valid education for themselves. Even Paul had a trade.
On a side note, a lack of any sort of academic integrity is where incorrect doctrines like KJV onlyism, have come from. Those positions are certainly not in your Bible.
5. Finally, you say you were trained to be a teacher. I want to be careful how I say this because I wish not to be insulting, but I notice your post seems to be, at times, a long run on sentence, with no proper breaks for paragraphs.
I recognize this could be because you were in a rush or do not know how to indent and space your comments, but the impression you leave by your post does not make a good argument for any training you may have received to be a teacher through any of your unaccredited Bible degrees-undergraduate or graduate.
Micheal great response. I empathize with this person to a degree because I was indoctrinated from birth as apparently she was. The difference is I never disengaged critical thinking. Ms. Hamilton I implore you to as questions. Question why you believe what you do and trace back where your reason ends. If it ends at a man of “God” telling you then you need to investigate possible and most likely error.
You may find that you are in fact a part of a cult.
“the college wants to be sure they are aware their children are dating of another race (because culture CAN and HAS caused problems between families)”
If CULTURE is the potential problem, then why even mention race??? I agree culture can cause serious issues – even as small as different ways to deal with money, children, etc… If culture is the potential problem, the college should make sure parents are aware if their child is dating anyone not from their hometown or state. Or, they could let the students be adult in this one miniscule area
It is not the college’s business who the student dates. These students are adults. It is up to these adult students to let their parents know about their dating partner…when they choose to do so. There is no biblical or moral reason to support racism. Methinks IFBx church/college leadership are the real racists and they are just blaming their policy on others to get the attention off them.
Ask WCBC’s Dr. R why he gave that student demerits for inter-racial dating? R-A-C-I-S-M
Calling an unaccredited “diploma” a degree is ridiculous. These schools are a waste of time and money. One of my friends graduated from West Coast Baptist with a phoney “teaching degree” too, and now she is starting college as a freshman in order to earn a real one. Earning a degree should make your job finding easier – not install blockades to opportunity.
Standards are absolutely useless in producing godliness in the hearts of people. This is also what Col 2:20-23 says:
Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances,
21 (Touch not; taste not; handle not;
22 Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men?
23 Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body: not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.
Extra-biblical standards…was what I meant to type at the beginning of paragraph 4.
A more clear translation of Col 2:20-23
NASB
20 If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, 21 “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” 22 (which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? 23 These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.