116 thoughts on “Conflagration”

    1. Shocking! Either way, I’m quite familiar with this concept. My old UPCI church definitely gave off this aura even though they said they didn’t. Good times those were. πŸ™„

  1. Happy Thanksgiving to all the fundies out there! I’m thankful that no where near as many people as fundies hope, actually end up in hell.

    1. Happy Thanksgiving to all of us ex-fundies who are distancing ourselves from the sanctimonious prigs that make up a lot of fundy-dom. Who want to guilt trip us to make us thankful for God’s blessings instead of just letting us thank God from our hearts for all the blessings He’s given us.

      I’m very thankful today for our new church and new pastor. And for being OUT of that hyles-schaap nonsense that was our former church. :mrgreen:

      1. Instead of modeling the mercy of God and showing love and patience to others, fundamentalists try by guilt to force people into being thankful, into forgiving and forgetting before the person has even fully grieved what has been done to them, and into soul-winning THEIR way.

        So grateful for God Who came down among us and walked with us for 33 years, giving us His time and compassion and eventually His life. He deals with us gently and tenderly. His beauty and grace are amazing.

        1. That’s another thing, you’re right PW. When someone wrongs you you’re to forgive immediately! That’s not possible a lot of the time. You need to process things in your own heart and come to a point later on (sometimes much later on) of forgiving. But forgetting is impossible, because it’s written in our memory banks. And forgetting wouldn’t be wise anyway. We need to remember so that we are not taken in by that person again. I have twice stewed for years over an incident before finally forgiving it, by simply putting it into God’s hands. I forgave for my sake not the person’s. For my own peace of mind. But in each case it took years. Both times it was things done to hurt me by church members who were both held up in good standing in the church. I never badmouthed them in front of others not only because it wouldn’t be right to do so but because the other person would’ve taken their side.

          The fundy attitude in preaching on forgiveness is to always put the onus on the wronged person and never do they preach to the person who wronged them. What about them? They were within their rights to go around hurting others, leaving their victims the double burden of the wrong they’d suffered AND the burden of forgiveness?

          Instead of preaching to the one who does the wrong, they make the wronged person feel guilty for feeling wronged in the first place. So their attitude is that we’re to lay down and be walked all over. Thanks but no thanks. A sado-masochist I am not. πŸ‘Ώ

  2. LMAO I love how at the end he just puts “general heathen” to sort of catch anyone he missed. And I thought for a split second his shirt sleeve said “Jesus is love”. How silly of me.

    1. Ah, you beat me to the comment about “general heathen”! Ah well, it’s still funny. πŸ˜›

      1. I was wondering if “General Heathen” is a rank. What about Lieutenant Heathen? Or Commander Heathen?

        1. “Who is he?”
          “He’s a Heathen, sir.”
          “Well I know that, but what’s his name?”
          “That is his name. Heathen. Major Heathen.”
          “And his cousin?”
          “He’s a Heathen too, sir. Gunner’s mate first class Philip Heathen.”
          “How many Heathens have we got on this ship, anyhow? I knew it. I’m surrounded by Heathens.”
          :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

        2. Apparently the Roman Catholic Cardinal of the Philipines was a Cardinal Sin. His residence became known as the House of Sin. ’nuff said. πŸ™‚

        1. I never saw General Heathen, but at a Chattanooga Lookouts AA baseball game I saw General Admission drove his “tank” around the stadium between innings in honor of the troops overseas.

  3. One other little thing worth noting. I find it sort of symbolic that his sign SCREAMS what he has to say and then at the very bottom, in parenthesis, there is a verse of scripture to “back up” what he says. He no doubt taken a class on sermon preparation in my former mog’s class at the local fundy basement college.

  4. I like the “general heathen” at the bottom. You know, just to cover any cases he may have forgotten.

    …I also “like” the verse he chose. Interesting that he did not choose any of the number of verses which list out sins or anything, he just goes for the general verse which talks about judgment. Because that way, he can make up whatever he wants about what constitutes a sin! And he gets to avoid the verse that comes immediately after the one he just cited, one of the most merciful and gracious verses in the Bible… the one that says:

    “so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.”

    1. I’m not sure how Darrell is doing it, but I know of a site that does something like this, photofunia, which has dozens of options of things you can do with photos. You’d have to wade through it to find this one. I did something like this with a pic a while back. Just google photofunia. πŸ™‚

  5. The OCD in me wants to crawl into the picture and put an S on the end of drunkard to make it plural like the rest of the list.

    I have to compliment him for his preparation. You can tell that he does this frequently. He has the sign hung around his neck so he doesn’t have to hold it and it doesn’t rest on the base of his neck. In addition he has a stick of some sort to hold up his megaphone so he won’t wear out his arm. I would guess that this guy is a “pro” street preacher.

    Someone should walk up to this guy and say “Come on now. The third thing on your list-are you telling me you have NEVER done that?”

    1. Obviously, only one drunkard is going to hell. At least two of each of the other categories. This guy probably knows each of their names.

  6. W A R N I N G





    1. And sanctimonious prigs who are giving this impression of God to your followers especially children. I’ve met people who as children were forced to attend churches that make God into some mean bully, who now as an adult want nothing to do with God, any form of religion or church. How sad, since God is not like this at all! πŸ™

  7. I think it’s interesting that he lists ‘hypocrites’ on his list of people headed for hell.

    Let’s look at his message, shall we? If you sin, you are going to hell. He does say “Jesus is Lo…” but makes sure that the rest of that line cannot be read. He says nothing about repentance, grace, forgiveness, or salvation.

    So: all sinners are going to hell? Yet, he doesn’t consider that he is on the list of people going to hell. He makes no mention of a way out, so he must think he’s sinless.


    1. Agnes Moorehead wasn’t a witch, she just played one, and brilliantly too. I loved that show. She was so funny. I’d read she was a Christian and read the Bible on the set of “Bewitched” but not that she’d left her estate to BJU. Too bad she didn’t leave it somewhere else.

      1. I’m surprised BJU didn’t return the check given that Agnes Moorehead was widely rumored to be a lesbian for most of her career (and many of her statements in interviews didn’t go far to resolve the issue one way or the other). Even if she wasn’t, there’s the whole ‘appearance of evil thing’. But I guess that’s where the dividing line is–that line at the bottom of the will where the famous person signs over her estate.

  8. It looks like “Jesus is Lord” because the third letter is not a V, so it’s not “Jesus is Love.” Hmmm. This guy reminds me of that Westboro “Baptist” bunch with the big mouths who keep saying crap like that God hates Fags and God hates this and that and picket the funeral services of our servicemen and women who have died in battle.

    It sickens me to think that a lot of people see ALL Christians this way. These jerks are what’s giving the rest of us a bad name since we get all lumped in together with them. I wish people like this would just go away. πŸ‘Ώ

    1. So I’m of two minds on that, Macushla. One: the only way people will NOT lump this guy into the bucket of “All Christians” is if more Christians speak out and say, “he does not speak for us!” Otherwise, it’s just more of the No True Scotsman fallacy.

      But two: this is this guy’s path. It’s not our place to question his path any more than it’s his place to call out, for instance, masturbators. If you believe in a large God, then trust that there is a plan at work for this guy, in particular.

      That said, it’s folks like him that have driven me to my path, where I’m certainly outside the fold, but much much much happier.

  9. I hope this guy is wrong, because if this guy is right, all the fun people will be in hell, and heaven will be full of guys like this. What a drag.

  10. I am so glad it is a word I like, but still wish we could somehow embed a video clip of The Burning Hell. My pick
    would be any scene showing that all the people in Heaven had southern accents, but The hellbound were Yankees. So. Freaking. Bizarre.

  11. * and God groaned *

    Sinnertainment in it’s most obnoxious form. Guilt mongering and emotional manipulation rule the day. Christ looks on and weeps.

    1. Let me put it here:
      Ok the more I look at that pic the more angry I get.
      The reality is that hell awaited us all.
      We are all sinners and by default we all deserve hell and separation from God.
      This cherry picking of pet sins and railing on them as if these are the only sins that will consign you to hell… is ignorant at best and outright deception at worst.
      Where is the Gospel? Where is the good news? If the gospel of Christ is not powerful enough for the Holy Spirit to us in the hearer’s heart, we are all in danger of missing heaven. The commission is to go into the world and be a witness and make disciples according to the Gospel of Christ… not by hurling the lightning bolts of Zeus at them and bludgeoning them with the truncheon of law.
      How weak is the god whose followers feel they must win by the threat of the sword? No, I serve the God of the Bible whose power is even in the still small voice spoken by the Holy Spirit to the heart of those who hear the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

      1. That was well-said.

        Now on a less serious note, the guy has a beard and sunglasses and looks suspiciously like your avatar, Don!

        1. oops maybe that’s not a bobbie’s cap… that does look alot like me and to tell the truth that is probably why it maks me so angry… I once was this man, I once would have done what he is doing.

        2. I was waiting for someone to say it, but I didn’t want to offend Don. Maybe the drunkard singular on that’s guy’s sign was the result of a fundy george.

      2. I can’t agree.

        It seems highly immoral to me to send anyone to eternal torture for most sins.

        I am not even convinced that mass murderers and political tyrants deserve an eternity of torture.

        God did not invent the Inquisition.

        1. But whose morality are you using as your standard? your own? In light of everything we touch and do is polluted by sin and the very best we cn do before God is no more than filthy rags in his sight… then our standards of morality are just as flawed. This goes back to a recent discussion on moral absolutes and standards. If we anchor our standards in what we know and our own experience then there can be no absolute because the standard set by that criteria is only as good as the next discovery or the next increase in knowledge. Such standards are in flux and ever changing.

          We need to anchor our standards and moral compass in the infinite, that transends our limited, finite experience and existence. We conform to God and his standards instead of fitting God into our box and our definitions.

    2. sinnertainment is what they are trained to do. I was taught this by reading Way of the Master books. Somehow, anyway you can, get a heckler, because the heckler will draw a crowd, and then you can preach the law and “convict” hearts. And if nothing happens, at least you can brag about it all back at church on sunday.

    1. Ok the more I look at that pic the more angry I get.
      The reality is that hell awaited us all.
      We are all sinners and by default we all deserve hell and separation from God.
      This cherry picking of pet sins and railing on them as if these are the only sins that will consign you to hell… is ignorant at best and outright deception at worst.
      Where is the Gospel? Where is the good news? If the gospel of Christ is not powerful enough for the Holy Spirit to us in the hearer’s heart, we are all in danger of missing heaven. The commission is to go into the world and be a witness and make disciples according to the Gospel of Christ… not by hurling the lightning bolts of Zeus at them and bludgeoning them with the truncheon of law.
      How weak is the god whose followers feel they must win by the threat of the sword? No, I serve the God of the Bible whose power is even in the still small voice spoken by the Holy Spirit to the heart of those who hear the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    2. I thought God just killed kittens whenever I did… that. I didn’t know he’d send me to hell for it! 😯

      1. It fits nicely with the whole part in Genesis about emnity with the kin of the serpent. 😈

  12. Happry Thanksgiving to SFL & contributors, positive & negative. It has been a blessing to know YOU are out there πŸ™‚

  13. Well, this fornicating, drunkard heathen wants to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving! I hope you’re all having a great day. For those of you who have to spend it with fundy relatives, just remember: Deep breaths. Serenity now!

  14. And yet, nothing about the proud and haughty. This guy apparently knows nothing about the love of Christ. Won’t he be surprised when he hears the words “depart from Me, for I never knew you”.

    1. While it is certainly sad to see the direction this man has gone, I think we can rise above the whole “God’s gonna get him won’t it be such a fantastic surprise for him when he burns in hell” schtick that fundies are so adept at using.

      1. Yeah, bless his heart, he’s doing what he believes he should be doing, even though most people just cringe, for all the reasons listed here. I am ashamed of him, however, because usually these signs list something about “uppity women” and he’s totally missed my main group. I suppose I fall into enough of the other categories.

  15. We have a guy in our town with an old motorhome that he parks in various locations so that everyone can see the huge Ten Commandments poster on the back. He especially loves parking it across from the Christian radio station where i work. Did I mention the Rapture pictures he has all over the sides of the motorhome? If this guy happens to waylay you while you’re on your way into Wal-Mart, he will tell you you need Jesus. As much as you would love to stay and hear him out, the alcohol on his breath and his ogling you up and down just really takes away from the spiritual experience.

    1. WoW, just WoW! 😯 There resides one of those in every neighborhood. I love your screen name, it’s even longer than mine! The guy in the picture looks bloated and smelly. Don isn’t like that! πŸ˜›

    2. He is entertaining, if creepy, and a good dose of insane.

      HNBEWO, it was either the screen name I now have or ‘I’veHeardItSoItMustBeTrueButICan’tFindItInTheBible’. I need to work on being concise. πŸ™‚

  16. So many times Christians would rather imitate John the Baptist than Christ. That whole being a loving servant thing is so humiliating.

    (Not saying John the Baptist was wrong. He was obeying God’s call on his life. He was a prophet, a voice calling in the wilderness, proclaiming the way of the Lord. But Christ has come and I believe we are to imitate HIM.)

  17. The verse doesn’t even mention hell. I don’t think the book of Hebrews even mentions hell explicitly. I’m probably wrong.

    But he is on there twice. Masturb & Lying about not doing it.

    1. I was thinking “what verse in Hebrews is he talking about”, and was highly amused that it doesn’t mention any sins, and doesn’t mention anything about hell, and isn’t in a passage that is about hell. You can make inferences about the “or else”, but there’s not a mention of any specific sins, let alone the ones this guy apparently wishes were listed. I think you could just as easily put “Eisegesis” and a witty subtext on this pic.

  18. Last December, I was walking in the Bowery with a gay friend, and one of these guys starts walking alongside us and rambling about the Rapture and asks, “Are you ready for Judgment Day?” My friend said, “Oh my gosh, no! I have so much shopping to do!” πŸ˜† It was just so stupid, it was funny. Shut the fundy guy right up, too, because really, how could he respond to that?

  19. Things I’m thankful for: Living in a town whose public disturbance and sidewalk obstruction laws are strictly and impartially enforced.

    1. I like the fact that he apparently gives out souvenir stickers that say “I’ve been rebuked by a street preacher.”

    2. Oh my gosh, I NEED one of those stickers! I need one almost as badly as I need a “1st BJ” pins, like they supposedly give to freshmen at BJU (do those really exist, or is it just a legend?).

      1. They do exist, but I never got one. I was an older, married student (so lived off campus)and missed out on being treated like I had never been out on my own before. Their purpose is so that people know you might be ignorant of some things and might need help. It also identifies you as new during society rush week, so that you can be targeted for the “sales pitch”.

        1. What are “societies,” exactly? Are they like frats/sororities (minus the keggers, presumably)?

          Sorry to ask so many questions. My family didn’t become fundy until I was a teenager, so I wasn’t really immersed in the whole culture from childhood like many of you guys were, even after switching to a fundy high school. My former church was full of HAC guys, so I know a bit about that place, but not much about BJU, PCC and the others.

        2. Soceties use Greek letters for identification, but everyone is required to join one. Societies had a meeting once a week in place of chapel; you also met with your society for Sunday School. Every society had two outings a year: one was just for the society, the other was a dating society and this was probably the only time you were allowed to hold hands with your date (and not all evening, but for certain games). There weren’t any intercollegiate sports, so societies were also how the students could play sports: there were LOTS of opportunities to play. Some sports were big like guys’ soccer, but there were also swim meets and shuffleboard (!); participation earned your society points. Societies also had to participate in other things such as debate (only two times, then to continue was optional). Society presidents (and vps?) were on Intersociety Council.

        3. At PCC, they were known as collegians. Pure waste of an hour a week, unless you brought homework. πŸ™‚

        4. Thanks for elaborating! I was looking around the BJU website, but they don’t explain things very well (maybe on purpose?). I’m really fascinated by the dating protocol at all these Fundy U’s. I have some questions about that, but I’m running out of “reply” buttons, so I’ll start a thread on the Forum. Could you please answer over there?

        5. Ah. Those dating couples, all sittin’ around making eye babies. If I can figure out where the forum is (I’m new to this site), I’ll throw in my two cents.

        1. Oh, that’s rich! What do they look like? I’d do a Google image search, but I’m afraid of what I’d find if I just typed in “1st BJ.” 😯

          I just can’t believe they’re so out of touch that they don’t understand the connotations of that term. Sometimes I wonder if BJU is just one big, epic trolling exercise.

        2. I’ve got to agree that simply typing “First BJ” into Google would probably get you a whole lot of other stuff besides what you are looking for. πŸ˜‰

        3. They are real, they exist, and I own one. It’s in a box in my basement. And, yes, I did innocently wear one when I was told to my freshman year and had NO IDEA of any double entendre.

      2. I love it! I wanna wear it with a blue ribbon. “Yeah, 4H is a little different here in NYC. We don’t really have room to raise livestock, so we had to think of something…”

        My new mission is to acquire one of these before next October. I’m going to be a “Sexy Fundy” for Halloween! Short culottes, open-toed shoes, and a “1st BJ” pin. Am I missing anything?

      3. In case anyone is taking it personally, I just want to clarify that I’m not making fun of any of you guys who didn’t know what it meant back then. I attended a Catholic school from age 3-13, and Catholic school kids seem to learn everything earlier than they should. I think I’m the weird one here! 😈 πŸ˜€

  20. I hope he is not enjoying himself today, because that would be revelrying. Noticed gluttony wasn’t on the list.

  21. Revelers? Since when is revelry wrong? Does he maybe mean revilers? In which case, I kind of think people who spell badly on sandwich signs and act like asses in public should have some kind of horrible punishment awaiting them, like a gummi bear up the nose or horrible diarrhea. That would serve him right.

    1. It probably is a reference to Gal. 5:19-21:

      Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, REVELLINGS, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

      1. I shudder as well. They scare me more than anything in the ‘verse. They ain’t menβ€”or maybe they forgot how to be.

  22. Every time I see “Hell awaits you” I always mentally follow it up with “with nasty big pointy teeth!” πŸ˜€

  23. Ha! I’m 8 of those things (non of which are “hypocrite,” liar,” or “adulterer” for the record). My life is way more fun than that dude’s.

  24. LOL

    the guy in the picture looks like Don’s picture 😯

    ..is this one from your “old days” Don???


  25. Fundy 1: Well, that’s a good long list on the sign
    Fundy 2: Yeah, but how do we *really* condemn just about anyone in a vague, attacking way which can be applied to those who don’t believe exactly what we do, even if they think they’re good?
    Fundy 1&2: Hmmm…
    Fundy 1: I got it! ‘General Heathens’!
    Fundy 2: Brilliant!


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