FWOTW: nowtheendbegins.com

Today’s featured website is a cornea-searing spectacle of lights and colors. It also features the insightful ponderings of widely acclaimed political analysts Chuck Baldwin and Sam Gipp.

I’ll give them this, if there were indeed a sign of the Apocalypse, I think it would probably look something like the design on this site.

130 thoughts on “FWOTW: nowtheendbegins.com”

  1. First! And I don’t even care. On topic, that has to be the busiest, ugliest design ever. I’m glad to see that at least one fundy discovered modern web design and made it uniquely crazy.

    1. Yeah, it pleases me to see that they’ve at least moved up to Web 1.0. I suspect it will be a few more years before they get to Web 2.0. I pity the fool who tries to load that site on dial up – you know there are still a disproportionate number of fundies out there who cling to their Juno or AOL accounts.

  2. This looks like it might replace World Nut Daily as the fundy go to news source.
    I love the King James page about facts and fables. You can go there but in summary, the fables they make up (some of which could be considered honest questions about the KJV) are answered by them basically saying “that is false, trust us”.

  3. My favorite blurbs are, The pope welcomes aliens and Haarp, how the government is controlling our weather.

    I feel myself being hypnotized by the strangeness of the site. Must…step…back..don’t look at it….help…..me.

  4. Bottom left corner of the awful header, I can’t tell if that is supposed to be backlit trees (not sure why it would be), or some kind of apocalyptic explosion cloud.

    1. What’s better, right next to the tree/cloud, is the banner “Where’s The Birth Certificate”. Like that would have anyting to do with the End Times™

        1. If Obama was the Antichrist, doesn’t that mean Fundies should WANT him to assume total power, so that Jesus can get back here that much faster?

      1. “Wher’s the Birth Certificate?” that was my favorite part. except for their hidden 666 agenda, of course.

        Has that horse been beat to death? c’mon

  5. Also, am I imagining things or do they actually taut their conspiracy theories as an introductory course to conspiracy theories (as though they are a good thing)?

    1. Well, I had to dust the, well, dust of the trusty calculator. I retrieved Shoes Codex of Numbers and looked at this … uhhhh … gem of a website. The first thing I noticed was the words “Lord, Zion and Jerusalem” underlined. This coupled with the six colors (red, orange, yellow, green, blue & violet0 in the GAY FLAG gives us the first 666.

      Next we will examine all these numbers. They claim 2,688,783 views per month and 20,000 fans on Facebook. Using Shoes Law of Single Numeral Combination (SLSNC) we will alter 2,688,783.
      2, (6+8+8),(7+8+3) yields 2,(22),(18). This must be altered again using SLSNC, to yield single numbers 2,4,9. Using SLSNC on the number 20,000 yields 20. Initial analysis leaves us with 20 and 249.

      Using Shoes Law of Flippigation we take the reference on the webpage, Daniel 9:27, and flippigate it, yielding 729. If we subtract 249 from 729 we arrive at 480 Web Units. If we return to the paragraph above, we find an additional 20 units that we need to add to 480 Web Units, giving us 500 Web Units.

      We can apply Shoes Codex of Numbers to the single BLUE word in the phrase “Now the End Begins.” Why is this word blue and why is that important? Because blue is for royalty which in him did dwell, and we know that only gid is the true king making this blue usurper wicked. Using SCON, “BEGINS” = (2,5,7,9,14,19). Using ancient numerology techniques perfected by The Priests of the Order of Melchizedek, and handed down faithfully to myself, we can decode this number string.
      According to Melchizedekian Number String Analysis the first letter stands alone (2).
      The second and third numbers are combined and the first number in the sum is dropped (5+7)=12 [drop the 1] = 2.
      Combine the first number with the second sequence and the result is (22).
      The fourth number is added to the resultant = (31)
      The fith number is added to the resultant as well = (45)
      The sixth number performs a unique operation in that it is multiplied to the resultant 19*45 = 855
      Using the Melchizedek Number Codex 855 yields 166 Units of Melchizedek (UM).

      Going back a few paragraphs, we find our original 500 Web Units. If we add 500 Web Units to 166 UM =
      500 + 166 = 666

      Justin Beiber is born, the end times can begin!

  6. I am sure the owners of this site are grateful for the free publicity your site just gave them Darrell. Now they can add that they have hit a new high of hits and readers that include Satanic, backslidden, heathens. Yea!

    1. Great. I’m sure someone there will notice the increase in traffic and somehow track it back to SFL. Then they come here, see our comments and play the persecution card.

  7. Scroll a little down the page and you’ll find that the internet is part of the mark of the beast. Do they have a moral obligation then to NOT have a website so they don’t contribute to the “mark”?

  8. “The Birth Of Christ And The Birth Of America Are Linked” by Dr. Chuck Baldwin.

    All I can say is, Wow!

    Yay! We have yet another opportunity to buy Dr. Gipp’s Answer Book!

    I was reading some of the rants written by Dr. Baldwin and they seem strangely familiar. Especially the one about the outbreak of civil war in the US before the end of winter.
    I don’t have the information at hand but I am certain that I heard that same story back when Clinton was president. I think they may just be recycling their nuttiness since it didn’t come true before.

    and finally, they prove that Catholics have a sense of humor and fundies don’t:

    “When Visitors From Outer Space Finally Arrive To Our World
    The New World Order’s Plan To Stage A Fake Rapture

    The Pope Welcomes Space Aliens. “Highly evolved extra terrestrial life forms may be living in space and would be welcomed into the (Catholic) church – “no matter how many tentacles” Senior Vatican scientist, Brother Guy Consolmagno, speaking to the British Science Festival, said.”

    They then go on to condemn the Catholics for this and to veer into uber-crazy land.

    Run! Scream! Hide! The UN is teaming up with space aliens to destroy us all!

      1. Ahhh……it is happening right now but the mainstream media won’t report it because they are funded by the UN, space aliens and George Soros. I am thanful we have sites like nowtheendbegins to tell us the real truth that the lamestream media is afraid to tell, even though they secretly know it is true. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

        1. That would explain the Southern gentleman who attempted to burn down my garage the other day.

        2. Scorpio,
          You know very well why I tried to burn your garage down! The archangel Raphael revealed to me that you had been contracted by the CIA to hide the birth certificate in your garage so he ordered me to burn it down. Even though I didn’t succeed and even though the gay Muslim Socialist Nazi judge ordered me detained for society’s protection (Communism!) I will be back to finish the job!

        3. Thanks to the oppresive regime we live in, I have time to fortify my defenses. I shall dig a moat around my garage and fill it with alligators and IFB preachers. (Don’t worry, the alligators won’t touch the preachers, they can’t tolerate that much fat in their diet). I will tell the preachers to keep an eye out for you. I will tell them that you listen to rock-n-roll, saw and liked The Da Vinci Code, wear shorts and voted for Obama. :mrgreen:

        4. HAHA Scorpio, that’s awesome.

          I never cared to see Da Vinci code, but actually liked Angels & Demons. Due in part to the fact that I guessed the bad guy and his motives the minute he came on screen 😀

        5. C_Fresh: If you want a good historical-conspiracy novel, I’d recommend Umberto Eco’s book Foucault’s Pendulumn.

    1. I suppose they forget that Christ could return at any minute. And could have returned at any minute in the past 2,000 years. So it should always be at 1….

  9. I love how it’s “One of the fastest-growing sites OF ITS KIND on Facebook.” Haha, of it’s kind, eh? Real stiff competition in that catebory, I’m sure.

    1. Last weekend went to the sadest, most pathetic excuse for a town fair and there before my eyes in bright lights was the” The Most Authentic looking Lone Ranger and Silver in the World” He had a beer belly and a lisp.
      Marketing- gotta love it.

  10. Personally, I like the touch of sincerity that Geoffrey Grider, the Editor-in-Chief (as well as the website designer!)shows in his bio. I particularly like the notion that his father and brother’s genuine military service inspire him to take up his ‘spiritual armor’ (and provide him with tertiary bona fides) as opposed to say, actually enlisting or something. I mean, nothing says Love for God & Country like starring in TV commercials.

    Its always the culture warriors who suffer the deepest wounds, my friends…

  11. They snookered me. I clicked on the Free Gift link thinking maybe they really have a gift to give you. I should have known better:

    Eternal Life Through the Blood Of JESUS CHRIST Is A Free Gift. You Need to be Saved.

    1. I did find this quote in one of his essays:
      I have endeavored not to be an alarmist.

      Would that be considered Irony or Cognative Dissonance?
      One of the funniest things I have read this week actually, and expecially now given his endorsement of this treasure trove of alarmist conspiracies.

  12. Whoops, did I wander onto the Frank Sinatra site?

    And now, the end is near,
    And so I face the final curtain.
    My friends, I’ll say it clear;
    I’ll state my case of which I’m certain.

    I’ve lived a life that’s full –
    I’ve travelled each and every highway.
    And more, much more than this,
    I did it my way.

  13. Some observations on some of the claims about the KJV:

    1. While the translators were not paid, being on the committee was likely to lead to advancement in the Church of England – to a more important and better paid position. No fewer the 7 of the translators (that’s more than 10%) ended up as Bishops (and we should factor in that several translators died during the translation process). Others became Cathedral deans, archdeacons and prebendaries (a role that was basically a guaranteed income for little or no work). ‘Livings’ (parish ministerial roles) in the Church of England at the time had widely differing incomes, and were in the gift of patrons – including the crown, who held the patronage of many of the wealthiest livings. Many of which ended up in the possession of King James translators. While undoubtedly many of the King James translators were not moved my monetary considerations, some certainly were (and remember, some Anglican Bishops sit in the House of Lords, so there was power involved as well). Certainly more wealth and status came to several King James translators than ever came to anyone working on the NASB committee. Many of them were government-approved yes-men who could be relied on to follow James’ lead.

    2. King James was a wonderful godly king. That would be news to the Scottish Presbyterians whom he forced to accept Bishops (helped by KJV translator George Abbot), and to the English Puritans and Scottish Presbyterians he forced out of the country. The Pilgrim Fathers did not leave England because they fancied moving to America, but because they did not have freedom of religion here. Sam Gipp would undoubtedly have been imprisoned, whipped and mutilated for saying the sort of things he says about the US government about the government of King James. Ironic, really. And for not being Anglican, Sam Gipp would have been thrown in jail and fined to his utter ruin. Never mind anything else my lad, King James was a religious persecutor!

    I can only assume that the comment about James uniting Scotland is a confusion between him and some other Scots king called James.

  14. 1. Nausea inducing design.
    2. So, we are allowed to just make things up and call it the “real truth” now? Gnosticism much?
    3. Which likely stems from the “magic decoder ring” hermeneutic that spawned dispensationalism, etc.
    4. What is the fascination that these sites have with national Israel?
    5. Can we at least have something cool, like Sasquatch?
    6. Listen to George Noory much?

    1. The fascination with Israel is because Fundies believe that when the country was formed in the 40’s that started the process for Jesus to return. So if Israel doesn’t exist or if all of the Jews aren’t living there then Jesus won’t come and rescue them from the trials and tribulations of this world. (My aunt and uncle might actually have to pay their mortgage!)

      1. The Israeli right and AIPAC view these people as useful idiots. Yes, my fundie friend, send in your love offering to resettle Russian Jews in Israel, because all the foriegn aid money and low interest loans Israel gets from the USA is not enough! Israel needs your check for $50 or more.
        I would love to know what Joel Libermann really thinks about John Hagee and his Christian Zionist buddies.

  15. Sorry, these guys ain’t real fundies- No fundy would ever mention the words ‘pope’ or ‘deceit’ in the same paragraph without mentioning how the Catholic church is the Whole or Babylon and the pope is the Anti-Christ/Satan’s ‘Yes-Man’ or something of the sort. Back in my day, you did’nt get the card or the perks unless you checked that on your yearly Fundy Form.

  16. It would be original if one of these groups would say we ARE NOT in the end times. I’ve been hearing we’re in the end times since I could hear (35 years). The question that’s always plagued me is if the Bible says Jesus doesn’t know, only the Father, then how does Br. Dr. Honary Doctorate know?

  17. Did anyone notice that BULL GIPP’s bio on this site is verbatim from his own site? http://samgipp.com/about/
    Very self-promoting. Talking about himself in the third person is rather interesting, as it gives an appearance of a testimonial rather than self promotion.

    Of course this is used everywhere BULL GIPP’s name is revered. http://www.av1611.org/kjv/easter.html (Ibid)
    While I was here I found something very interesting by Dr. BULL. In his defense of the word Easter being used in the 1611 KJB he said, “First, Peter was no longer considered a Jew. He had repudiated Judaism. The Jews would have no reason to be upset by Herod’s actions.” I’ll bet that was news to Peter.

    While I’m on the subject of Dr BULL GIPP let’s look at his bio statement:
    Dr. Gipp is a former pastor meaning no one group of people can put up with a steady diet of his crap.
    an evangelist which means he knows how to come in and set the sheeple straight on how they should reverence their M-O-g. If your congregation is beginning to question you just Call on Slammin’ Sammy and he’ll straighten out your church.
    teacher, author in the loosest sense of the terms.
    and Bible conference speaker All Hail the King James version! All Hail the King James version!
    He has the unique ability to digest large amounts of information and then present it in an analytical, understandable, format. His humerous (sic), informative and forceful preaching style make him popular with all ages and keeps him in demand as a Revivalist and Bible conference speaker.
    Meaning he has the unique ability to defecate large amounts of opinion wrapped up and labeled “Biblical Knowledge.” Able to manipulate large crowds into believing his brand of legalism with his toolbox of guilt, twisting of proof texts to say what he wants them to and use of his title as a fallacious appeal to authority (namely his own).

    1. “… His humerous (sic), informative and forceful preaching style …”

      I’ve heard of speaking “off the cuff,” but Reverend Brother Honorary Doctor Gipp apparently speaks from his upper arm bones.

      Or perhaps it’s an allusion to these famous lines by the Peruvian poet Cesar Vallejo:

      Jueves será, porque hoy, jueves, que proso
      estos versos, los húmeros me he puesto
      a la mala y, jamás como hoy, me he vuelto,
      con todo mi camino, a verme solo.

      It will be a Thursday, because today, Thursday, setting down
      these lines, I have put my upper arm bones on
      wrong, and never so much as today have I found myself
      with all the road ahead of me, alone.

      From Piedra Negra Sobre Piedra Blanca (Black Stone Lying on a White Stone). Translation by Robert Bly.

  18. The King James Bible vs. The New International Version
    Another exercise in intellectual dishonesty.
    1: comparing a word for word translation with a dynamic equivalance translation is dishonest.
    2: Comparing translations to one another without comparing either to the extant documents they were translated from is dishonest.
    3: Finally, to make an idol of one translation of the Bible is just that Idolatry.

    Yet, lazy Church-goers are content to be spoon-fed pseudo intellectual drivel and believe that they have the truth. This is the evil that is caused by the pulpit/pew false dichotomy that exists in Americanized Churchianity. The pews are passive receptors of anything that is broadcast from the pulpit and it is taken as gospel since the man in the pulpit is speaking for God (at least that is what they have been programmed to believe).
    And men like Gipp, Roloff, Hyles, Schaap, Sunday, Jones, Trieber, Allen, Kidd, Ballew, Roberson, Gray, and a host of others stand and proclaim the god of their imaginations and the gods of their ministries.

    1. And they use their KJVO stance to assure themselves that they’re BETTER than other Christians. This desire to put oneself above others is natural, but it’s opposed to how Christ tells us to behave.

    2. And the KJV *does* use dynamic equivalence fairly regularly. I can think of a few examples, but one of the most interesting to me is translating sheol, gehenna, hades, and tartaros using the Anglo-Saxon/Norse word for the pagan underworld.

      As far as I can tell, John Wycliffe was the first translator to refer to the Hebrew/Christian abode of the dead as Hel, and he did so because that’s what Germanic tribes (including, eventually, the Anglo-Saxons he was translating for) called it. Hel/Helheim was the natural dynamic equivalent of the Greek word Hades, and it was a halfway decent fit for some of the other terms as well. But it is a stark example of dynamic equivalence, at least as I understand the term, and the KJV translators decided it was good enough to keep.

  19. I imagine if this was a radio ad, the voice over would be a southern preacher voice delivered in a Monster Truck Show style, hitting on all the favs, Israel, mark o’the beast, Obama, AntiChrist, natural disasters, time running out. Echo turned WAY UP.

  20. First impressions: why do we need to donate money using a donate button if the end is near?
    Also, I had to scroll a bit before I got past the self importance and bragging.

    After the first impressions, I was no longer interested in reading.

  21. Best laugh I’ve had all week was simply to read this sentence: “Click here to read more about how the Vatican plans to welcome space aliens ‘into the fold’…”

    And that’s all you need to know about this site.

  22. 😯 Wow. The alien article cites a story about 24 priests who went to Mars as missionaries. Their source? The Weekly World News. 🙄

    I thought it was bad when newspapers cite the Onion in their articles.

        1. Since I’m already pretty far off-topic:

          I read somewhere a quote from an interview with Megan Fox in which she said the only job she ever had other than acting or modelling was working at a yougurt and fruit bar. The employees were expected to dress up as pieces of fruit. She chose the banana costume, because she was afraid dressing like an apple would make her look fat.

  23. Does Sam Gipp have a news analyst show on the Daystar Network?

    I’m probably wrong about this, but I thought I saw someone who kind of looks like him on Daystar talking about prophecy and babbling about “Socialism” and the “New Age Movement”.

  24. My fav from Mark of the Beast: “If there’s a wayward Christian at a convenience store buying a dirty magazine or a bottle of booze and the register rings up $6.66, I couldn’t think of a better number for God to use to get that person’s attention.” 😆

  25. [blockquote]”The first thing you need to understand about the mark of the beast is that it is a worldwide system that collects and gathers information, and ties it in with personal records of all kinds. This will culminate in a chip, implanted in your body, that will personally connect you to the system. Today you see that information is already being collected when you use your debit card, the loyalty card at the supermarket, your car has computer chips that enable it to function – everything is controlled by a chip that feeds the information to various databases around the world. Even the Internet itself is part of this system.” [/blockquote]

    Congratulations on being a complete idiot. “Even the internet is a ‘part’ of this system.” OHMYGAWSH!!! TELL ME MORE!!!! What did the plans for doing it without teh interwebz look like?! Were you gonna send information via……… THE PONY EXPRESS?!?!?!

    It’s like Bob Jones… You mean there’s life outside of Novell?! You’re saying…. *gasp* no more Groupwise or Eguide? We would use Exchange and Active Directory?!

  26. Another gem from Dr. BULL GIPP:
    From his book, An Understandable History of the Bible by Samuel C. Gipp
    Chapter 2

    I shall never forget the day I trusted Jesus Christ as my own personal Saviour. I was twenty years of age. I was wild, rebellious and unhappy. I was lost and on my way to Hell. I knelt at an altar where a great man of God took the Bible and leafed through it, showing me the truths of salvation. Just before he led me in prayer, he, in his wisdom, played a trick on me, a trick that God used to set the course for my life. He looked over at me and asked, “Do you believe that Jesus Christ paid for all your sins?”
    I replied, “Yes.”

    “Do you believe that He will save you if you ask Him to?” “Yes.”

    Then the trick! “How do you know it?”

    “Because you told me!” I replied somewhat impatiently and a little put out. I had come to get saved, and I felt like I was getting the run around. I saw no need at all for that last question.

    “NO”

    What! No? What was going on here? I had come to get saved, and now I was being made to look like a fool. I had been intentionally set up just so that I would give the wrong answer! I was angry! I was embarrassed! If his telling me how to be saved wasn’t how I knew it, then how was I supposed to know? I looked him dead in the eye and blurted out my response almost demandingly, “Then, why?”

    His next action took me completely off guard, but it plainly answered my question. He held that open Bible up in front of me with one hand, tapped its open pages, and said with grave finality, “Because this Book says so!”

    I was shocked! I remember looking at that precious open Bible, and while trying to fathom this great truth that had just been expounded before me, I said to myself, “You mean that Book has that much power?” I knew the answer was yes. Then I humbly bowed my head and my heart and put my faith and trust in Jesus Christ, accepting His payment as my own. But I have never forgotten the lesson taught to me so powerfully on the day of my salvation.

    For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

    With or without the KJV Bible this is True. The same truth is in the Greek. Salvation is by Grace, not Sam Gipp’s decision.

  27. On the website it reads: The “Coming” Betrayal of America? It’s already been betrayed. The banker bail-outs made that clear. Just look at the economy. This country is on the edge in so many ways, sadly most are sleeping.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110614/bs_yblog_thelookout/workers-share-of-national-income-plummets-to-record-low

    Looks like more of the false politics misleading so much of ‘Christiandom” including the false Christian Zionism.

    They also make the mistake of confusing the secular nation of Israel with Biblical Israel. They serve in the interests of the NWO, which desires war with Iran and the “war of civilizations” calling down fire on Islam instead of seeking Christian conversions. The poor Jewish people are going to be betrayed along with the rest of the world.

    http://galatiansfour.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-cant-wait-for-armageddonthe.html

    I used to think Chuck Baldwin was an interesting guy, and he did speak some truths even if I always thought he was over-political, but finding out he belongs to the “black regiment” was just disappointing.

    http://www.chuckbaldwinlive.com/blackregiment.php

    Oddly it seemed Glenn Beck was supporting the same group or one like it.

    http://www.religiondispatches.org/dispatches/danielschultz/3237/glenn_beck’s_black-robed_regiment

    Just strange stuff.

    That website warns about some true things, like mark of the beast, news of interest such as the Russia-China-Iran meeting, but the politics, wrong, wrong, wrong.
    They don’t get that both the right and left are a lie.

    Christian believers better start asking themselves are they following those who are of this world or not.

  28. Greetings to one and all! Hey, thanks so much for the “interesting” critique of my site…made me laugh in a number of places. And I hate to break it to you – but – I am not a “fundy” in the sense you are used to. But I am a bible-believing Christian who honestly believes that Jesus is coming soon for His Church.
    Anyway, thanks again for visiting my site, and believe it or not, a number of your comments were helpful for me in ongoing site construction. As for the “cornea-searing” design, thats never changing Gets your attention quite nice, eh?

    geoffrey 😎

  29. Lol, you boys must be getting soft in your old age, thought sure someone would have some sort of a response to my post….you’re acting kinda like the people in the video you posted where they get confronted and have nothing to say…oh well.

    1. Are you really that hungry for attention?

      If you wanted a discussion you should have showed up a month ago when we were actually discussing it.

      Your site is old news now.

    2. Naaa, it’s just that this Posting is so “last month”, we’ve moved on. I didn’t really see any confrontation for us to run from but if it makes you happy I’ll call for a general, “Run away! Run Away!.” but you’ll have to provide your own Trojan Rabbit. 😯 😎

  30. This type of stuff is dangerous. They are totally wrong on so many levels. From Hitler “causing the chaos” to the birth certificate thing. It’s unbelievable to me how people buy into this stuff. And when none of it happen’s, and it wont, they’ll go right on to the next conspiracy theory without anyone noticing………. as they have done for 1000’s of years. And people somehow don’t even notice……… This time its different right? Check out this list of idiots that predicted the world would end throughout history and were totally wrong:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events

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