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Friday Challenge: Movie Titles

Today’s challenge is to alter a movie title to make it more attractive to an audience of fundamentalists.

Here are a few to start:

‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Who Dress Modestly’

‘The Cider House Rules Are Not Written Down Anywhere But You Should Obey Them Anyway’.

‘The 10,000 Commandments’

(many thanks to John who sent in this suggestion and most of the examples)


Posted by Darrell

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485 Comments.

  1. tlorz2 June 17, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    2001: a sermon odysey
    The man with the red KJV
    Honey I Shrunk the Bank Account on Missionary Night
    The Quick and the Sundayschool Teachers
    Live Free or Die Trying: The story of SFL posters.
    Joy Story
    Minority Report: Creationism Explained
    Busministry Quest
    The Mask
    The Son-In-Leagalism
    The Rear Pew
    Kidnapped: The story of fundy kids
    The African Queen-A missionary story
    Buscoach
    High Plains Preacher
    Paint Your Busses
    Hold Him High
    Robbing Hood
    Around the World in 80 days: an evangelist story.
    Preachy Preachy Bang Bang

    Reply
  2. Darren June 17, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    JAWS- Jesus Always Wore Slacks.

    Reply
  3. Lawrance June 17, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Silence of the Female Lambs

    Reply
  4. Don June 17, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Many of Tom Hank’s movies don’t need a name change only a plot change:

    He Knows You’re Alone - The Ernie Willis Story
    The Money Pit - A Movie about Sacrificial Giving
    Nothing in Common – The problem with having friends outside the IFB
    Big –How to grow the World’s Largest Sunday School
    A League of Their Own – A training video for Preacher Boys
    Independent, Fundamental, King James preaching, Baptst-less in Seattle – A missions conference story
    That (Sinful) Thing You Do! – Documenting autoerotic pleasure
    Saving Private Ryan – with a “Holy Joe” Chick tract
    Cast Away –A cautionary tale about what can happen if you are not in the center of God’s will at all times
    Road to Perdition – Documenting the perils of the public school system, focusing on the Perilous hallway of Peril when a guy and girl are caught there alone.
    Catch Me If You Can – How to cover-up abuse in your ministry
    The Ladykillers – How the Hyles men see themselves

    And a non-Hanks bonus:
    The Holy Grail – How to earn your MRS. Degree at Fundie U.

    Reply
  5. Abby June 17, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    The Exorcism of Emily’s Rock Music
    –
    Dogs Don’t Go to Heaven (Unless They’re Saved)
    –
    50 First Potential Mates
    –
    My Very, Very, Very, Very Big Fat Baptist Wedding
    –
    (How) The Lost Boys (Got Found)
    –
    127 Souls Saved in an Hour
    –
    Mars Needs the Lord

    Reply
  6. Law1204 June 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    Classic adult films turned Fundy:

    Debbie Does Divinity School
    Preacher Boys In The Sand
    The Opening Of The Pastor’s Daughter
    Deep Throat Your Husband Even If You Don’t Want To
    Talk Holy To Me

    Reply
  7. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    Silence of the ladies

    Reply
  8. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Some like it loud and unlearned

    Reply
  9. Lawrance June 17, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    Throw Unwed Mamas From the Train

    Reply
  10. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    There will be yelling

    Reply
  11. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    How to train your wife

    Reply
  12. Lawrance June 17, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    The Fat and the Furious

    Reply
  13. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    Fast and furious sermon prep

    Reply
  14. Lawrance June 17, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    The Unforgiving

    Reply
  15. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    500 days of summer camp

    Reply
  16. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    The girl with the dragon tattoo is not welcome in my church

    Reply
  17. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    Scream…when you preach

    Reply
  18. Lawrance June 17, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    End of Gays

    Reply
  19. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    Kiss kiss bang bang…after you’re married.

    Reply
  20. Beth D June 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    A few with no name changes, just plot changes:

    Earthquake (worldwide during the tribulation)
    Armageddon (war at the end of the tribulation)
    Sahara (Hell is even hotter than here!)
    Bruce Almighty (Story of a Fundy preacher man)
    National Treasure (Everyone knows that’s the KJV)
    National Treasure 2 (Hymnals)
    Congo (Story of some missionaries living in the forest)
    Jaws (Story about the closest buffet style resturant
    after church on Sunday)
    Deep Impact (A wish of what would happen – but doesn’t – after soul winning)
    Star Trek – Generations (Older people don’t understand why some younger people want to watch movies and are enamored by the stars.)
    Star Trek – Insurrection (The younger people sneak out to the movie houses)
    Star Trek – Nemesis (The older people try to teach the younger people that the stars are really their enemies.)
    Titanic (The size of the task to convert the world to IFB)
    Poseidon (A ship carrying people who make the mistake of believing in different Gods gets turned upside down. One finds a Gideon Bible, gets saved, and leads some others to Christ. These are the only ones who live)
    :mrgreen:

    Reply
  21. Lawrance June 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    Bad News Bores

    Reply
  22. Polished shaft June 17, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    She wore a yellow skirt

    Reply
  23. Lawrance June 17, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    The Good Honorary Doctor

    Reply
  24. diachenko June 17, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    Ok, this is way too many pages to read through, so if any of these have already been done, I repent in dust and ashes. :grin:

    The Fantastic Four Gospels
    Kill Bill(y) Graham
    Mission Impossible 4: The Camel and the Eye of the Needle
    Saving Private Ryan’s Soul
    Brokeback Mountain: Praying Them Straight
    The Mummy: Lazarus Comes Forth
    Network :grin: :grin:
    Remember the Titans of the Reformation
    The Producers of Good Fruit
    Into the Wild to Win Souls
    What About Bob and His Walk With the Lord?
    Kick Ass: The Story of Balaam
    Volcano: God’s Judgement on the Gays

    Reply
  25. Beth D June 17, 2011 at 11:28 pm

    Some more:
    Star Trek – First Contact (About a man’s first time street preaching in Beverly Hills)
    The Big One – The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (God’s judgement on a sinful city)
    Escape from LA (A movie star gets saved and has to get out of the “Hollywood life”)
    Fire Down Below (What hell is really like)
    Fire in the Sky (Jesus’ second coming)
    The Fire Next Time (What you’ll face if you don’t get right with the Lord!)

    Reply
    • Beth D June 18, 2011 at 10:59 am

      People actually hand these out, thinking people will get saved reading them?! I think if I wasn’t a Christian, and was handed one of these, I would run the other way! :roll:

      Reply
      • Big Gary June 18, 2011 at 11:12 pm

        They are very popular with fans of surrealist art, because they are so hallucinatory and unabashedly paranoid (both good things to the surrealist school of criticism).

        Reply
  27. diachenko June 18, 2011 at 12:32 am

    And one my partner came up with:

    Beach Blanket Bible Study :grin:

    Reply
  28. diachenko June 18, 2011 at 12:33 am

    Ok, I wasn’t going to post this one, but I see that someone has already gone a similar route above.

    Debbie Does Her Devotions

    Reply
  29. Wheels June 18, 2011 at 5:34 am

    “I know what you did last summer” (and your going straight to hell)

    Reply
  30. Wheels June 18, 2011 at 5:51 am

    “Saving God” The amazing story of Pastor_________. (the greatest soul winner in all of history)

    Reply
    • RobM June 18, 2011 at 7:17 am

      That’s what I’ve thought every time I’ve seen that title on Netflix (used to be regularly recommended by netflix a couple of year ago to me). Hasn’t been lately.

      Reply
      • Wheels June 18, 2011 at 7:53 am

        For a Christian-ize movie it really was pretty good. Not at all what you think from the title. I just thought the title just fit so well with this topic.

        Reply
  31. RobM June 18, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Oooooh! The Seven Day Itch (to go to the altar)!

    Reply
  32. Stan June 18, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Milltown Pride and Prejudice

    Reply
  33. fmx June 18, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Summer Vacation Bible School

    Reply
  34. fmx June 18, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    Blackula – The Jesse Jackson Story

    Reply
  35. Phil Lehman June 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Harry Ironside and the Chamber of Secrets: the renaming of Graves dormitory

    Reply
  36. Green Eggs and Ham June 18, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Citizen, Cane Your Children

    Reply
  37. Green Eggs and Ham June 18, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    Pretty in Culottes

    Reply
  38. polished shaft's wifey June 22, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    To Catch A Sinner
    The Longest Skirt
    The Great Escape From the World
    The Conservative Mutiny
    SuperPreacher

    Reply
  40. Joseph June 27, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    3:16 to Heaven
    Saved in 60 Seconds
    The Lion and Lamb King (of Kings)

    Reply
  41. Joseph June 27, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    (Romans) Road to Salvation
    Green Mile: A Documentary of Prison Ministry
    My Big Fat Preacher at my Wedding

    Reply
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