I love you, and that’s why I hate you.

I’m totally separated from the world so I can reach the world.

I’m have a mind that is so chaste and pure that I constantly obsess about sin and impurity

I’m humble and I’m so proud of that fact.

I have total freedom in these chains.

I need only the treasure laid up in heaven for me so give me your tithes and offerings here and now.

I am at peace in Jesus so I fight endlessly with those in Church.

I study to show myself approved through honorary doctorates and fake degrees.

I have the joy of the Lord which is why I’m so angry.

I’m am your servant leader which is what makes you my slave.

I am a fundamentalist who can’t remember the last time I actually cared about, talked about, or preached about the real fundamentals.

196 thoughts on “Contradiction”

  1. I abhor the violence on TV and in movies, but I hold up a poster of a mutilated fetus at Pro-Life rallies.

    1. Usually they dislike the violence on TV/movies because it’s sole purpose is for the sake of entertainment: “Ooo, look at that serial killer slice that guy’s face off! Wow!” The graphic poster is not for entertainment but rather to show those who support abortion what abortion actually IS. (That said, I don’t like such pictures being shown on a public street because children may be nearby.)

      1. I disagree respectfully, PW. I think the antics of fundies, included the prolife graphics at rallys ARE ALL ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT. If they wanted to prevent abortions, they would support birth control. If they thought abortion really was murder, they would protest outside of fertility clinics. No, in my experience, entertainment from the abortion issue, to demons to end times foolishness is all about being entertained. It beats thinking.

        1. The people who get hurt (us here at SFL) are the people who made the grave mistake of taking these people and their doctrine to heart. Our mistake was sincerity. It hurts.

        2. “The people who get hurt (us here at SFL) are the people who made the grave mistake of taking these people and their doctrine to heart. Our mistake was sincerity. It hurts.”

          You are so right. πŸ˜₯

      2. I guess it’s time I responded to Pastor’s Wife. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m very much Pro-Life. The problem I have is with the message the graphic posters send. As Christians, we should be letting the world know about the forgiveness that God has given all of us. The graphic posters do nothing to convey this message. Instead of saying something like “Have you considered all your options?” they scream “Look what you did, you sick, twisted whore!” Displaying those posters in front of a clinic will do nothing to alter the mindset of the doctors who actually perform the abortions, and will lead the women going in to assume (often rightly) that Christians are filled with hatred towards those they deem “sinners.”

        1. Nate, I’m not sure I favor those type posters either. They’re very hard to look at. I suspect the people who brandish them are doing so because they are right there on the front line and doing this as a last ditch effort before it’s too late.

        2. I don’t like the posters, but I do think that anyone willing to abort a baby ought to be willing to be honest about it and see what they’re actually doing. Then again, is the front sidewalk in front of a clinic the best place?

          Of course, as donb said, prolifers may be doing this as an extreme, last-ditch effort to try to save lives.

        1. Yes, he has! I ought to know better than to laugh when he messes with others because George always manages to find me in the end.

  2. Its a sin to go to the “movie houses”, but its perfectly ok to bring movies home and watch them. πŸ˜•

    1. The only other person I’ve ever heard use the term “movie house” in conversation is my fundy brother.

  3. “I have the joy of the Lord, which is why I’m so angry.” Nothing like the joy of the Lord as your strength to render a good butt-whooping!

  4. Let every soul be subject to the powers that be unless they disagree with me.

    Go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. This passages teaches that we are supposed to reproduce oursleves. (I had a hard time containing myself in the service where this beauty was uttered.)

  5. We are offended by the unbiblical hate and rancor exhibited by so many fundies toward their enemies; that’s why we submit so many posts full of ridicule and scorn toward them.

    1. Words mean things, dude. Hate is not the same thing as ridicule nor is rancor the same thing as scorn.

  6. I believe that God is love and saves us by His grace, but if you wear the wrong thing, listen to the wrong music, or question authority, He gonna fry yo’ ass like two doughnuts in a wire basket, baby.

    1. “He gonna fry yo’ ass like two doughnuts in a wire basket, baby.”
      HEHEHEhehhehehHAHHAHahahha. πŸ˜†

  7. “I think every Bible version except the King James is of the devil–how dare they try to make those archaic words more understandable!!!

    By the way, right here where it says ‘the greatest of these is charity,’ that actually means ‘love.'”

    So apparently it’s OK for the preacher to change some words. It just can’t be written down.

  8. This reminds me of something someone once said in high school that I cannot ever forget. In this one class, we gave little speeches about what was important to us. I agonized over it for a long time, and finally decided to just man up and talk about the importance of God in my life. But this one guy’s, it was about how disillusioned he’d become with religion. No joke, I was pretty near tears at the end, because everything he said was [i]so true.[/i] He talked about how he had theological questions that he tried to ask Sunday school teachers and pastors, but he was just brushed aside. He pointed out (and rightly so) that the pastor would talk about how God doesn’t need anything from us, and then turn around and say everyone needed to donate heavily to the church “for God”. And so on. It just made me so upset because [i]he was right.[/i] No one ever took the time to sit down with him and have a real discussion about the Bible and apparent contradictions or problems. Nobody was willing to consider the inconsistency of their own actions. And especially nobody was willing to admit they were wrong to a teenage boy.

    It’s people like this with their inconsistent beliefs–people who exist in all denominations–who turn off the less easily led from “religion”. It’s sad, because I got the feeling he was genuinely searching for the truth, but… he just couldn’t find it from the people he was around. I’m not sure what he’s done since then. I’d like to think he did find the truth, but I worry he never did.

    1. I’m impressed as a teenager he was able to figure it out faster than others like me. I blindly taught in my youth group at my IFB church and years later realized some of the things I taught were the opinions of the leaders I followed in the church. I now realized I had become part of “the system.” Later I was pushed out for becoming an “independant thinker” I have made contact with some of the former youths which some are now deeply scared and appologized for teaching opinion and not the bible. I now pray for that they are willing to seek the truth and find it. It makes me sick that I was a part of their hurt and distain.

  9. It’s sad that so many can relate to this, including myself. Thanks for putting this up. It can be so tricky to navigate towards having an authentic spirituality when one is trying to overcome all this baggage.

    So many hurt feelings, wounded relationships and so much false guilt put on those who are too young to stand up to it.

    Thanks again Darrell.

  10. I think educators in various religious schools have a contradiction of priorities, when they entertain the belief in the Second Coming too much.

    Teachers are supposed to prepare young people for the future, and they need to assume their efforts have the end result of preparing for college, rather than the end of the world. A high school class shouldn’t have to ponder if they will be able to graduate on account of Jesus’ return.

    It seems that many can’t help themselves, so it wound up being taught alot in Bible Class anyway. I attended Fundie private school in junior high and high school, and I seemed to have had an existentialist dilemma, right below the surface, which would often disturb me, wishing that they would focus on more positive concepts.

  11. How about: “We adhere to strict Separation of Church and State, but we require that you allow kids to pray, witness, preach and hold Bible studies in public schools.”

  12. All Who Call on the Name of the Lord Will be Saved- Except Catholics and anyone else who does not attend here.

  13. “For my sermon condemning homosexuality, I shall be quoting Leviticus. After the sermon, our Church Dinner will be ham and shrimp.”

  14. Two quotes from Dr. Bob Jones Sr. that are actually opposed to each other:
    “When in doubt, play it safe” and “It is a sin to do less than your best.”

    How can you possibly play it safe yet always do your best? Sometimes, even if you have doubts, you must plunge forward and take action IN SPITE of your fear.

    Apparantly this is just another fundy case of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” with an extra burden of guilt for the Christian.

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