47 thoughts on “Degree Update”

      1. Definitely NOT recycled because you cannot verify where it’s been. How can you claim to be sufficiently separated when the history of your diploma paper is unknown? Just imagine the evil hands that might have touched it before! The devil’s deeds could be embedded in the smallest fiber, and you could wonder for decades why your efforts go unblessed! Who would suspect the diploma? But God cannot excuse ignorance.

        1. Kosher paper is not required of fundies. Because that’s OT Law… we are under NT Grace… we have cotton/polyester and sometines laytex underwear for Pete sake.

          Remember this story from the King James Embellished

          Acts 10:49-56 (KJV-E)
          On the morrow, as they went on their journey, and drew nigh unto the city, Peter went up upon the housetop to bestow Doctorate Degrees about the sixth hour:
          50And he became very inspired, and would have written: but while they made the word processor ready, he fell into a trance,
          51And saw heaven opened, and an IBM Selectric typewriter descending upon him, with as it had been a great reem of recycled sheets, and let down to the earth:
          52Wherein were all manner of fonts and colored ribbons, and double spacing, and sounds of carriage returns in the air.
          53And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; sit, and type.
          54But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never typed on any thing that is common or unclean.
          55And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.
          56This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven.

    1. 20#(shows humility), recycled (shows we are good stewards of what we have been given), Made in China (shows we are missions minded). Yep, that should put it on better stock than most Fundie Hon. Dr. Degrees. (of course one could get the authentic Fundie Doctor doc look, feel and smell with used toilet paper as well)

        1. I have been outed! 😯 You just couldn’t help yourself outing me like that now could you. I know, I know, it is the SFL syndrome, you all do what your leader does so you feel justified outing me like that…. whoa! Where did that come from? I guess sometimes you do become what you fight against? *shudder*
          Thanks Loren *he says in his best “liberal” musical tone* Love ya too… 😎

        1. Of course for a realy bold look and strong frame you can use Bull Shittim wood. Most Fundie Pulpits are made of this rugged material, able to withstand years of pounding on and showers of sweat and spittle. “Bull Shittim pulpits”, ask for them by name. See your local Church supply dealer. You’ll be glad you did. 😎

        2. You know some churches go all out and trim the Baptistry, the Choir loft, the pastoral throne/chairs and the Pulpit with the more decorative type of shittim, it’s called Fullah. It’s more expensive but darn well worth it!

          9 out of 10 Fundie preachers and evangelists claim a Fullah shittim pulpit makes it feel just like home.

  1. Since we’re all bugging Darrell.

    First, shouldn’t we have a men version and a women version. The women’s version should use Script as this is the only acceptable font.

    Second, I looked all through the archives and didn’t see a post on signing Bibles.

    Surely, you remember the vogue for getting our great “leaders” to autograph our Scofields. Shoot, I remember LINES at the SOTL for Bible signing.

    1. That reminds me of the old satire of a radio evangelist where he offered to send donors “an autographed eight by ten glossy photo of Jesus.”

      Unless your Bible is signed by the author, I’m not very interested in who else has signed it.

        1. Found it and commented. Thanks.

          Seriously, Darrell, husband and I want to know if you didn’t go to our church/school and grow up with us. It’s amazing how close this site’s posts are to how we were raised.

          But, on a serious note… it is healing for both of us.

      1. “Waaaaay back in the early days of this site.”

        Darrell – One of the things that fascinates me about SFL is that when you look at some of the early posts, they generated only a handful of comments. Yet now, there can be hundreds of comments per post.
        That is a testament to the nerve you have struck with so many people. So now to get all sappy (you have all been warned)……

        At this time of year when we all should evaluate what we have to be thankful in our lives, I just want to say THANK YOU to Darrell for all the time he spends on SFL. It really has helped me put so many thoughts and feelings in perspective.

        Happy Thanksgiving everyone and especially to you Darrell.

        1. What Scorpio said. (There I go, applauding a liberal atheist. I’m such a heathen. 😉 ) Darrell, thank you for all the free therapy that SFL has provided!

  2. I can’t let this go without quoting from Randall Jarrell’s underappreciated novel, “Pictures from an Institution” [the novel takes place at a private college in the early 1950s]:

    “… President Robbins had an M.A. from Oxford– he had been a Rhodes Scholar– and an LL.D. granted, in 1947, by Menuire. (It’s a college in Florida.) To make the President dislike you for the rest of his life, say to him with a resigned and anthropological smile: “I’ve just been reading that in 1948 Menuire College gave the degree of Doctor of Humor to Milton Berle.”

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