Unique Bachelor’s Degrees

Many young fundamentalists head off to an approved fundamentalist college to toil and study for four years only to emerge with a degree that puts them on promising career paths such as leading a church choir or supervising a nursery three times a week.

At Pensacola Christian College You can check out the wonderful world of Music Ministries in which you to can learn to look like this when you sing. “Lift those eyebrows, people! Jesus likes them up almost into your hairline!” A similar program is offered at West Coast Baptist College but you’ll want to note that there are separate degrees for men and women. Men take Practical Theology with their music degree while women take “Christian Womanhood.” (If the women want to learn about theology it’s best to let the sweet young things wait until they are married so they can ask their husbands about it.)

If you are a woman who aspires to get married and have babies, there are programs for that too! Unlike women of years gone by who did all this without needing to take college classes, you can head off to Hyles Anderson and major in Marriage and Motherhood. Hopefully you can snag a husband too while you’re at it or that’s a whole lot of money and time wasted.

If the world of word processing and church secretarial ministry is your dream, Maybe The Crown College’s Bachelor of Biblical Studies in Business Applications will float your boat. Hopefully that Bible-based approach to using Microsoft Access is worth every shekel.

And of course, every fundamentalist college worth its salt has at least a few programs in things like Youth Ministry, Camp Ministry, Nursing Home Every Other Thursday Ministry  and so on. These specialized degrees will ensure that these promising young fundamentalist leaders of tomorrow will quickly learn to suffer for Jesus making sub-minimum wage at the ministry of their choice. Alternatively, if they apostatize and leave the ministry, there’s always an option for food service and sales positions.

If you spent four years (or six or eight) getting a degree that you’re now embarrassed to put on your secular resume, you may have been a fundamentalist.

110 thoughts on “Unique Bachelor’s Degrees”

  1. Pastor Monte says he has a church he has to go build. I hope it’s a good one. But I have noticed that too many IFB pastors are more concerned with building a church than they are about building people

  2. Had a friend who went to Trinity baptist and majored in “Christian Womanhood.” I never understood that…

  3. Yep- four years for an unaccredited secondary ed degree (with way too many Baptist History and–yep–Christian Womanhood courses from Crown College… now (insert completely ironic hallelujah) within two months of graduating again. From an accredited university. Because if you had to do your undergraduate twice, you might just be a fundamentalist.

  4. Yep… That was me! Got a piece of paper that cost me thousands of dollars at a Fundy U out West! I was told at a very young age that God would be more pleased with me if I became a pastor; and if God called me to “full time ministries” and I refused, I would never be happy. (my youth pastors exact words were: “you might laugh sometimes, but you’ll never have true joy the rest of your life”). So when every door to ministries was slammed shut for 3 years after graduating from a glorified Sunday School I was forced to actually study the Bible for myself; and not just what I was brainwashed with my whole life. God has graciously brought my wife and I out of that circle and put us in a church that we don’t dread every Sunday.

  5. Marriage and motherhood degree here. Honesty I could have cared less about the classes. I was there to get away from home. I did want to be a wife and mother and had no other interest. I’m sure the haters will love that. I loved my teacher and the classes. We have gone through some changes in regards to how we view church now. We would never send our kids to the place I attended. That being said those were some great times. For me I felt safe for the first time. I went to bed and was not afraid at night. For me it was a time to grow in a safe place and I made great friends who I still keep in touch with. We grownand change and have different seasons of life. Now being a stay at home Mom with a hubby, two kids and a dog I really wouldn’t change a thing. They have me full time. I love it. If something happens to hubby I would have to work. Work hard. He makes the money. Thankfully he went to trade school and had a skill. I will always love my main teacher there at Hac. Even though I know they wouldn’t approve of the way I do life now. It was a blast. I got away from home and was free. For the first time in my life I was safe and I was free. That to me was free. Lol. Now being married to a great guy for two decades i look back and laugh at that girl. She went to an ifb college with absolutely no clue what bus routes were. Lol. I had no idea what I was doing and no new clothes. Oh if I could have told her a few things.

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