The Spirit led me to take a new route home from work today. I know it was from Him, because there was a big accident downtown, and traffic was backed up for miles! The other day, I got stuck in a big traffic jam; I must have not been “tuned in” to His leading that day.
Like I said in “Story Time,” it was my lack of or confusion about these vague “leadings” that, uh, led me out of Fundamentalism.
At least they’re giving the Holy Spirit something else to do than convict people of sin.
Where’s the stick figure kid? Has he been shipped off to a roloff home for back-sassin’ his old man?
Has he been shipped off to a roloff home for back-sassin’ his old man?
I have actually sat through a Missionary conference where two of the speakers (I’m loathe to call them preachers) actually told in their ranting that they had been wrastlin’ with what to “preach” on that evening when, “there they were… in the Supermarket check-out line… where the Holy Ghost (or at least some spirit) impressed on them some sin that was emblazoned on the front of the National Inquirer, the Star and People. Brazen hussies!
I remember the second one got up and remarked on how the Holy Spirit (or some other spiritual facsimile) must have been working in the Grocery store checkout line that day….
Fundys are spiritual junkies…. they go to church to get their fix three times a week. The moving of the “spirit” in fundy land is very important, since it is the experience that counts as church. Hard preaching soothes their craving. If they get under conviction by hard preaching then they are able to work up some emotional response and that will get them to the next service. When they get really strung out then they find a Revival, Missions Conference or Bible Conference to attend so they can load up on a kilos of emotional high so they can crank up the emotions for all to see how spiritual they are. “Well-l-l-l-l G-L-O-R-Y!!”
A question. Does the Spirit ever lead fundie preachers to preach about Jesus?
Or is it all about hell, damnation, and pants on women?
“Or is it all about hell, damnation, and pants on women?”
No, there is more,
besides hell damnation, and pants on women, “non-submissive women,” there is, Catholics, Democrats, Evangelicals, Calvinists, Billy Graham, Rock music and long hair on men, then add whatever ticked the pastor off that month or week….
A true Fundie knows who Lester Roloff is (and has met him).
Where’s your Sword of the Lord roots?
@Kitty: so true! It seems the “Holy Spirit” spends an awful lot of time checking out women from the waist down.
See — this is a catch-22. Because while they attribute obviously human decisions/events — carpet color, traffic jams, etc. — to the Spirit, they also dismiss the Spirit’s “movement” in theology and comfort. It’s just bass-ackwards.
@Bob Willits:
We were too poor to afford anything more than a Scofield, a Strong’s and a Matthew Henry. We never went hungry, but there were a lot of weeks where we ate boiled eggs every-day for lunch. Our homeschool textbooks usually had been well-loved when we got them and were a mish-mash of whatever we could afford.
Stuff Fundies DON’T Like: People that are too poor to buy all the gimmicks.
I’m naturally skeptical about people who begin their sentence with, “the Lord told me to tell you…”
I thought that Martin Luther resolved that intermediary stuff.
When we left a fundy church the “pastor” (like Don, I have a hard time calling these guys pastors ) told my husband that the Lord speaks to him on matters of folks leaving the church. The Lord didn’t tell him would could leave, so therefore we did not have his permission to do so.
My husband laughed and said, “goodbye” =)
Here’s a quote that I came across, reading this post reminded me of it:
“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”
-Susan B. Anthony
As a worship planner, one of the things that bugs me most is how the Spirit “leads” someone to sing something on Sunday morning without any planning or practice. The Spirit needs to tell some people earlier in the week (or month) so they can practice.
@Camille Hey! Hey! Let’s watch it with the “bass-ackwards” comments! Bass moves forward.
@BASSENCO
Color me confused… I always thought “bass-ackwards” was a spoonerism for something else… [wink]
@Dan Keller
I’ve had experiences like that at a couple of churches I played gigs at. If the spirit leads you to change up stuff at the last minute, then the least the spirit could do is lead you to email me the changes in the score.
@Josh Sure, blame it on the spoons….
@BASS
::snort:: HAHAHA!
wasn’t there also a movie circulating around IFB circles in the late 70’s early 80’s about the gubmint arresting people at Roloff’s church?
I love how most of the time the spirit moves them in mundane ways. I mean, really, we’ve got natural disasters and suffering, but the Lord told you that there’s traffic congestion up ahead and to take a detour, really?? I heard this kind of stuff all the time growing up and wondered why God cared about things like a morning commute or sermon topics, but then let friends of mine commit suicide or get hit by a car and die…It made absolutely no sense to me, and was more than a little insulting.
@Ben
Exactly. But even outside of IFB(x) circles, it can be almost heretical to suggest that God doesn’t have a perfect, unrevealed will concerning which vegetables we choose to go with our sandwich, which road we take to get to work, which songs to sing in the worship service this morning, etc. From whence came this notion that God is playing a game of hide-and-seek with us? This notion that we have to be really, really quiet – that we have to read the tea leaves ever so carefully – to find out the magic answers that will spare us all trouble in this life…
Josh, I know! And the sad thing is, that when problems come into your life, you’re filled with guilt because you think, “I must have missed God’s will somewhere; I made a wrong choice. Otherwise I’d be enjoying His blessings right now” instead of realizing that I Peter (among others) promises us that we will find suffering in this life. That game of “hide and seek” to find God’s will often results in fearful, guilt-filled Christians – or else smug, self-satisfied ones.
I knew this lady who the “spirit” led to which grocery store had the best deals for the week. Undoubtedly, the spirit had read the sales papers for the week while she had not done so. He would also lead her to good parking spaces once they got to the store.
Actually that’s rather practical. Sounds along the lines of one of the lesser saints (St Quikee-Pick, anyone?). Does he ever help her clip coupons? 😀
Heh, ever notice that “the Spirit” leads many of these people to do something they would have wanted to do anyway? And if they’re saying “the Spirit” told YOU to do something, it’s always something to their own benefit? *snooooork* Not buying it.
The Spirit told me that you would volunteer for VBS next week. You can have the 9 year old boys.
LOL, Morgan! My response would be…”Well, that’s not what he told ME this morning!”.
It amazes me that the spirit seems to lead different people in different directions on the same matter. It also amazes me that the spirit that some folks seem to hear engages in a great deal of trial and error and regularly seems to change his mind.
Trivializing the work of the Holy Spirit.
Comments are closed.
A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.
The Spirit led me to take a new route home from work today. I know it was from Him, because there was a big accident downtown, and traffic was backed up for miles! The other day, I got stuck in a big traffic jam; I must have not been “tuned in” to His leading that day.
Like I said in “Story Time,” it was my lack of or confusion about these vague “leadings” that, uh, led me out of Fundamentalism.
At least they’re giving the Holy Spirit something else to do than convict people of sin.
Where’s the stick figure kid? Has he been shipped off to a roloff home for back-sassin’ his old man?
I certainly hope not!
Umm…What is a “Roloff Home”?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lester_Roloff#The_Roloff_Homes
I have actually sat through a Missionary conference where two of the speakers (I’m loathe to call them preachers) actually told in their ranting that they had been wrastlin’ with what to “preach” on that evening when, “there they were… in the Supermarket check-out line… where the Holy Ghost (or at least some spirit) impressed on them some sin that was emblazoned on the front of the National Inquirer, the Star and People. Brazen hussies!
I remember the second one got up and remarked on how the Holy Spirit (or some other spiritual facsimile) must have been working in the Grocery store checkout line that day….
Fundys are spiritual junkies…. they go to church to get their fix three times a week. The moving of the “spirit” in fundy land is very important, since it is the experience that counts as church. Hard preaching soothes their craving. If they get under conviction by hard preaching then they are able to work up some emotional response and that will get them to the next service. When they get really strung out then they find a Revival, Missions Conference or Bible Conference to attend so they can load up on a kilos of emotional high so they can crank up the emotions for all to see how spiritual they are. “Well-l-l-l-l G-L-O-R-Y!!”
A question. Does the Spirit ever lead fundie preachers to preach about Jesus?
Or is it all about hell, damnation, and pants on women?
“Or is it all about hell, damnation, and pants on women?”
No, there is more,
besides hell damnation, and pants on women, “non-submissive women,” there is, Catholics, Democrats, Evangelicals, Calvinists, Billy Graham, Rock music and long hair on men, then add whatever ticked the pastor off that month or week….
A true Fundie knows who Lester Roloff is (and has met him).
Where’s your Sword of the Lord roots?
@Kitty: so true! It seems the “Holy Spirit” spends an awful lot of time checking out women from the waist down.
See — this is a catch-22. Because while they attribute obviously human decisions/events — carpet color, traffic jams, etc. — to the Spirit, they also dismiss the Spirit’s “movement” in theology and comfort. It’s just bass-ackwards.
@Bob Willits:
We were too poor to afford anything more than a Scofield, a Strong’s and a Matthew Henry. We never went hungry, but there were a lot of weeks where we ate boiled eggs every-day for lunch. Our homeschool textbooks usually had been well-loved when we got them and were a mish-mash of whatever we could afford.
Stuff Fundies DON’T Like: People that are too poor to buy all the gimmicks.
I’m naturally skeptical about people who begin their sentence with, “the Lord told me to tell you…”
I thought that Martin Luther resolved that intermediary stuff.
When we left a fundy church the “pastor” (like Don, I have a hard time calling these guys pastors ) told my husband that the Lord speaks to him on matters of folks leaving the church. The Lord didn’t tell him would could leave, so therefore we did not have his permission to do so.
My husband laughed and said, “goodbye” =)
Here’s a quote that I came across, reading this post reminded me of it:
“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”
-Susan B. Anthony
As a worship planner, one of the things that bugs me most is how the Spirit “leads” someone to sing something on Sunday morning without any planning or practice. The Spirit needs to tell some people earlier in the week (or month) so they can practice.
@Camille Hey! Hey! Let’s watch it with the “bass-ackwards” comments! Bass moves forward.
@BASSENCO
Color me confused… I always thought “bass-ackwards” was a spoonerism for something else… [wink]
@Morgan Fundies do sometimes preach on Jesus: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2009/05/jesus/
@Dan Keller
I’ve had experiences like that at a couple of churches I played gigs at. If the spirit leads you to change up stuff at the last minute, then the least the spirit could do is lead you to email me the changes in the score.
@Josh Sure, blame it on the spoons….
@BASS
::snort:: HAHAHA!
wasn’t there also a movie circulating around IFB circles in the late 70’s early 80’s about the gubmint arresting people at Roloff’s church?
I love how most of the time the spirit moves them in mundane ways. I mean, really, we’ve got natural disasters and suffering, but the Lord told you that there’s traffic congestion up ahead and to take a detour, really?? I heard this kind of stuff all the time growing up and wondered why God cared about things like a morning commute or sermon topics, but then let friends of mine commit suicide or get hit by a car and die…It made absolutely no sense to me, and was more than a little insulting.
@Ben
Exactly. But even outside of IFB(x) circles, it can be almost heretical to suggest that God doesn’t have a perfect, unrevealed will concerning which vegetables we choose to go with our sandwich, which road we take to get to work, which songs to sing in the worship service this morning, etc. From whence came this notion that God is playing a game of hide-and-seek with us? This notion that we have to be really, really quiet – that we have to read the tea leaves ever so carefully – to find out the magic answers that will spare us all trouble in this life…
Josh, I know! And the sad thing is, that when problems come into your life, you’re filled with guilt because you think, “I must have missed God’s will somewhere; I made a wrong choice. Otherwise I’d be enjoying His blessings right now” instead of realizing that I Peter (among others) promises us that we will find suffering in this life. That game of “hide and seek” to find God’s will often results in fearful, guilt-filled Christians – or else smug, self-satisfied ones.
I knew this lady who the “spirit” led to which grocery store had the best deals for the week. Undoubtedly, the spirit had read the sales papers for the week while she had not done so. He would also lead her to good parking spaces once they got to the store.
Actually that’s rather practical. Sounds along the lines of one of the lesser saints (St Quikee-Pick, anyone?). Does he ever help her clip coupons? 😀
Heh, ever notice that “the Spirit” leads many of these people to do something they would have wanted to do anyway? And if they’re saying “the Spirit” told YOU to do something, it’s always something to their own benefit? *snooooork* Not buying it.
The Spirit told me that you would volunteer for VBS next week. You can have the 9 year old boys.
LOL, Morgan! My response would be…”Well, that’s not what he told ME this morning!”.
It amazes me that the spirit seems to lead different people in different directions on the same matter. It also amazes me that the spirit that some folks seem to hear engages in a great deal of trial and error and regularly seems to change his mind.
Trivializing the work of the Holy Spirit.