Are they Catholic? Dunk them well and pray that it will serve to cleanse them of their popish ways. Are they Anglican? Send them under the water and command them to drink no more. Are they Presbyterian? Bury them in the baptismal pool and tell them that it’s a good thing they didn’t show up [...]

Fundamentalists generally rail against the so-called “health and wealth” gospels that promise prosperity to anybody who has enough faith to pretend to be an Old Testament Jew. Instead, the fundamentalists insists that financial prosperity is only for those who have enough faith to tithe like an Old Testament Jew. And you might still get sick [...]

Fundamentalists are huge fans of original sin and never hesitate to point out that everyone from newborns to octogenarians are prone to spiritual corruption and gross wickedness. Even a child (of unspecified age and ability) is known by his doings. One might be inclined to wonder how it is that an infant who possesses neither [...]

If every petty offense is counted as a great abomination and terrible wickedness…then how can you tell when real evil shows up? If wearing a pair of jeans makes a woman the moral equivalent of a whore and listening to rock music is the same as fornication and questioning the pastor is as the sin [...]

I love you, and that’s why I hate you. I’m totally separated from the world so I can reach the world. I’m have a mind that is so chaste and pure that I constantly obsess about sin and impurity I’m humble and I’m so proud of that fact. I have total freedom in these chains. [...]

Meet Stinnet Ballew, author, preacher, and racist. Ballew is the host of the Harvest Time Broadcast which is replayed on fundy radio stations all over the country. He’s also a speaker at various churches and conferences. In the audio clip below you can hear him attempt to use Scripture to prove that interracial marriage is [...]

Stinnett Ballew On International And Interracial Marriages [ 8:31 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Here Ryan Price, “pastor” of Fort Lauderdale Baptist Church lets us know why we should hate and fear John Piper (and other assorted reformed leaders). I’ve included some of my own comment captions in the video…

Diversion: “Why are you criticizing what [insert big name pastor here] said in his sermon last week or wrote in his book or did with that stripper in Vegas? Have you gone to him and talked to him personally about what he said/wrote/snorted?” Origin: Eisegesis. Usage: Whenever someone is pointing out really horrible logic or [...]

A man on his way from Atlanta to Greenville was robbed and severely beaten at a rest area. The thieves even stole his clothes and left him for dead lying on the sidewalk and drove off in his car. As it happened, a fundamentalist pastor happened by that way and saw the man but he [...]

And concerning God’s Will thou shalt strive with all diligence to figure out where it is hiding and stand in the perfect center of it. And thou shalt accomplish this task with all fear and trembling for one false step shall surely mean utter destruction of thee and all thine house and thy little dog [...]