All posts by Darrell

Websites

FWOTW: 21tnt.com

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21tntThe thing that is so impressive about 21tnt.com is not the site itself but rather the enormous number of fundy sites that are listed in a single place.

It’s amazing how in one place you can have someone who lauds Jonathan Edwards, Jack Hyles, Charles Spurgeon, John Wesley, George Witfield, Charles Finney, John Bunyan, and Lester Rollof — and evidently has no idea how absurd it is that those names are all on the same list.

Be sure to also check out the the links to Independent Baptist “news sites” with names like The Baptist Pillar, Baptist Fire, Calvary Contender, Lion of Judah, and (my personal favorite) The Flaming Torch.

Music

By Request: Frank Garlock

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garlock

“You tell me the kind of music you like to listen to…and I’ll tell you what kind of person you are.” — Frank Garlock

I found this gem over at The Basement Rug (an awesome site for lovers of vinyl, btw). It’s from an LP record entitled The Big Beat ~ A Rock Blast in which Frank Garlock among other things claims to have to have listened to and analyzed more than 2000 rock songs in a single week.

If you can sit through all 83 minutes of this amazing performance, you’re a better person than I am.

Some notable bites

13:30 listening to good music can increase your eyesight by 25%

13:56 we learn that plants are killed by rock music.

16:47 cutting edge research from 1971 shows that…well…something or another.

20:04 department stores use music to hypnotize their customers into buying more

21:31 Music played for mental patients helped them improve only if the musician was mentally stable. Music played by mentally unstable people made mental patients worse.

On a side note, watching Frank with Spanish voice-over is incredibly trippy.

History

1963

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schoolprayerIn the beginning was America and it was a righteous place full of great happiness. For the Founding Fathers had decreed that this was a Christian Nation where teachers should offer daily prayers at schools and the people did rejoice at that word. Verily in those days all the people of the country were Baptists and even the Methodists and Anglicans and Dutch Reformed were Baptist and all was happy and gay (the happy kind).

Women were happy although they could not vote.  And the Native Peoples were happy between bouts of being scalped, infected with diseases, lied to, and marched off to reservations. And the slaves were happiest of all for they worked out in the bright sunshine and sang happy songs while they completed useful jobs.

And so it went for the next two centuries that the country was full of wonderful tidings of peace and goodwill, except for the outbreak of wars every few years and a Great Depression (during which people were still happy), great plagues of influenza, and the detonating of nuclear bombs.

But then, in 1963 the Supreme Court declared that corporate prayer was not allowed in public schools and the country has been in trouble ever since. All that happiness America had enjoyed was gone in one fell swoop and darkness descended. From that day suddenly people began to become gay (not the happy kind) and listen to jazz music, and vote Democrat. And the glory departed from off the land.

But if that day should come again when we may once again enforce a rule that agnostic teachers must say prayers to a deity in whom they do not believe to  classrooms full of students who are of all faiths and creeds and not paying attention anyway then happiness will again bloom on the shores of this nation and all will be well.

At least that’s the way I’ve heard it.

Thanks to Stan for the idea

Music

Not Singing the Third Verse

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hymnverses

There are two major schools of song-leading in fundy churches. The first is prone to singing every…single…verse…with all of the unbridled energy of a man building his own gallows. When these folks sing “when we’ve been there 10,000 years” they’re not kidding.

The other method of singing hymns is to religiously omit the third verse to every song. If the song contains five verses, the fourth verse may likely meet the same ignominious fate. One can only imagine that the middle verses to every hymn have been infected by liberal agents with subliminal suggestions that might result in clapping, swaying, or other mortal sins of the flesh.

Modern hymn writers, note this well. My advice is just to omit writing a third verse altogether and replace it instead with single line that says “All together now on the last.” It’s what is going to happen anyway.