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What are fundamentalists (a.k.a “fundies”), exactly? It’s a hard definition to pin down because those who are in fundamentalism disagree vehemently about who should and should not be privileged to claim the title. George Marsden has famously described Christian fundamentalists as “evangelicals who are angry about something.”1 That definition is, perhaps, more true than most fundamentalists will admit.
For the purposes of this blog, “fundamentalism” is understood to be “Christian fundamentalism”, a movement that has its roots in rejecting “liberal” ideas such as German higher criticism and Darwinism.
The five fundamentals have commonly been held to be:
- The inspiration of the Bible by the Holy Spirit and the inerrancy of Scripture as a result of this.
- The virgin birth of Christ.
- The belief that Christ’s death was the atonement for sin.
- The bodily resurrection of Christ.
- The historical reality of Christ’s miracles.2
More specifically, for these posts, “fundamentalism” means “Independent Baptist Fundamentalism”, a movement that rejected not only liberal theology but also those parts of the culture that it considered to be “worldly” such as certain types of music, styles of dress, the theater, alcohol, and many others. These fundamentalist churches also separated themselves from association with any other movement they deemed too liberal or worldly; in fact, separating from things soon became their greatest distinctive — and a source of amusement to those of us who grew up in the movement.
These are their tales…
1 Marsden, George. Understanding Fundamentalism and Evangelicalism. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1991.
2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamentalism#Christian_origins
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Who are you? I think I like you.
Hillarious,
there was not one post that I didn’t associate with growing up fundy. Which by the way, I still am fundamental in my doctrine. But these are just classic.
This blog is sooooooo true! I grew up in a baptist church. Really funny blog. Thanks for the laugh.
thanks for making my day brighter! your posts are so funny…and true
To what point is your blog? Pointing fun at ppl? Yeah that’s Christian. Spending all this time putting down “fundies” for things that not all of them do! Do you think that God is glorified by your posts? Is He happy to see you making cutting remarks to His children? Sure you can disagree, but why poke fun so much?
Being able to chuckle at yourself is a great blessing, Erin.
If you’d like to discuss this at length, check out the new forum area.
I should have know that you wouldn’t answer my Qs. Prov 13:1 says that a scorner does not hear rebuke. There is a big difference between laughing at yourself and cutting others down.
Thank you, but I do not wish to join your forum and find myself surrounded by antifundies.
You definately need a posting on accordian-playing evangelists. If you don’t play the accordian or some other abstract musical instrument such as the psaltery, dulcimer or sackbut, you are probably not an authentic evangelist.
Darrell,
Came across your blog through your posting on the blog of a previous professor of mine (DG). From someone who went to one of these colleges, thanks for adding some humor to a past many of us are trying hard to forget. Keep the posts coming!
TB
Roy, what about the saw? I still remember an evangelist playing one when I was 9 or 10…classic.
This site is a God-send.
I’m totally going add you to my links on my Hot-For-Jesus Former Fundie site.
Hey, can I submit some memories from my own fundy days?
Don’t forget these classics:
praise and testimony time (especially the miracle tithe stories)
“preacherboys” (even if the man is 41 years old)
ah, the miracle tithe stories. Good times.
Here ya go…the master list:
Hair touching the ears (guys)
Culottes…HELLO!! I didn’t see any for this (I’m a member of the FB (WAC) women against culottes) group…lol
Using the hymnbook if you sit next to a guy
Slits in skirts
Sewing your own clothes is considered God’s first choice..LOL!!
Being online is a sin…oops get these sinners off of here!! they are in violation!
I remember when Google was a sin..lol
Oh..if someone commits a “listed” sin..they are to be kicked out of the church…Fundamentalists don’t believe in restoration.
If you are caught kissing your boyfriend you are not allowed to get married in the sanctuary, muchless wear a white dress..lol
If the pastor sleeps with another woman…don’t bring it up..it will hurt his reputation
Sex? what is sex? DO NOT tell your kids about it!!
……….Oh man, I have to go to bed its past 2am…Maybe I’ll think of more from my 14 years of having to submit to the hogwash of a fake religion proclaiming to be God followers.
Does anybody remember all the children’s church programs that had to be thrown out when they were found to be evil? Tot time, Eager Beavers, ProTeens, Jeff-n-Jenny, Patch the Pirate, AWANA (became evil when they went NKJV), King’s Kids?
I’m hesitant to comment on this blog because it would reveal the very thing I’ve spent the last two years trying to hide: I was a hardcore fundie.
Eh, what the heck? I was a fundie, and this blog is funny.
While I have experienced a lot of these funny disparities, I am disappointed in the very real bitterness behind a lot of the posts here. I have learned that real Christianity is found in God’s command to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength,” and then to “love your neighbor as yourself.” I am pursuing the obedience to these commands in my own walk with Christ, and it pains me to see the vitreol here, all in the name of “laughing at yourself,” thus justifying such bitter poison as perfectly acceptable. If all of you bitter bloggers were living the commands to love God and others, I think you would be more likely to pity the poor souls of whom you so love to laugh. Sorry, but I think all this is condescending, “liberated” snobbery, and bears no resemblance at all to the image of Christ.
Mark, you send me what you think is “vitreol”(sic) and “bitter poison” and I’ll seriously take it under advisement.
It’s just so strange to me that people believe that the real problem is those who point out the problems not those who have the problems.
Darrell: Don’t let the B-word throw you. It is merely a weapon Fundies like to use to silence people who rock the boat, and it has no basis in reality the vast majority of the time. The times I got that word thrown at me the worst were exactly the times when I felt the best about church and was sharing how much better the Christian life could be when there is freedom in Christ.
I used to think this was a pretty funny blog when it first started, but now it seems like you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for everything you can embarrass fundamentalists with. Furthermore, there are many people who might call themselves fundamentalists who are in no way associated with a lot of the gaffes you list. Of course there’s going to be weird stuff in every group, that’s to be expected when you get humans together. I think you should stop calling this “Stuff Fundies Like” and start calling it something like “Stuff Weirdos Who Masquerade as Fundies Like.” According to your categorization of fundamentalists in your post above, we are people who believe in the fundamentals of the Bible. Last I checked, that’s a pretty good position to have. I guess although I grew up in fundamentalist churches, I’ve never really met any of the weirdos you keep talking about.
You’ve never heard of John R. Rice? Never sung the OBEDIENCE song? Never been scared out of your wits by rapture preaching?
If not, then I tend to doubt your fundy cred a little.
There are a variety of posts here that deal with a variety of topics. If you’re referring to my fundy site of the week schtick, then I will admit freely that I go after sites that epitomize the lunatic fringe of fundyland. But that’s hardly all I post.
I think you’ve both managed to hit somewhere between two things that fundies like in that sentence. “Claiming to be the last true fundamentalists” and “claiming that others are the crazy fundies“
It’s funny, I grew up in a “fundy” church and have seen, or know of most of the websites, programs and extra biblical restraints pastors and congragants put on people. I’ve heard bad doctorine, politics, preaching at, instead of preaching to and all kind of stuff from the pulpits. I’ve left the “fundy” church and went to modern, southern baptist, petecostal churches, campus ministries, mega churches and even back to the world. Funny, after all that I still went back to a “fundy” church because of all that I’ve seen and heard every where else i went to. I meet my girlfriend at this new “fundy” church I go to and she, I can tell because we’ve talked, still has bitterness and resentments toward her old “fundy” church. Yet, despite that we love our church, the bible and our Saviour. I find some of these post amusing, but mostly sad. I’ve found a good church and I don’t ever want to leave it, but I know many that haven’t but wish things didn’t have to be so extreme on either side of the spectrum. God help us!!!
Love the site. Please don’t ever be intimidated by those who say that what you are doing is wrong/unnecessary. It’s very necessary, as those who have truly experienced the horrors of baptist fundamentalism know all too well. Maybe in the future you could write a book about this?
It’s so cliche for a blogger to want to turn author.
But who knows…maybe someday.
You’ve never heard of John R. Rice? yes and receive the Sword of the Lord each 2 weeks.
Never sung the OBEDIENCE song? No I haven’t.
Never been scared out of your wits by rapture preaching? Nope, but would say it made me think of my deathly position before salvation. It’s good to know where you’re going isn’t it?
I have to agree with a few posters. There are lots of things that go wrong in many churches whether mainline, penniecostal, etc.. Seems to me that there are hypocrites and sinners in all churches huh?
1) I thank God I am saved by the Lord Jesus Christ.
2) I am unashamed to be a fundamentalist in belief, and share Christ with any who are interested.
3) Fundamentalism isn’t bad, however some of the foolishness of fundamentalism is bad.
3) Much of what is presented on this web site is true, and that is a shame.
4) I agree with Darrell when he says, attack the problem, not the person.
5) If you’ve been hurt, its not by fundamentalism, but by people who are abusive.
6) Read the book “The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse” available on Amazon.com
Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life. His life proved it, what more can be said?
According to my Baptist History class, the fundamentals are:
- Doctrinal purity
- Ecclesiastical separation
Seems fundamentalists can’t agree on the fundamentals. Too funny.
As someone who reads this site on a semi-regular basis, I can honestly say I appreciate the humor of the majority of the posts. I have seen first hand many of the extremes of this brand of fundamentalism both in my travels and in personal experience. I appreciate the fact that the majority of these posts satirize the extreme fringes of the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement.
However, I also understand the point of view of several of the people who have commented negatively on this site. I realize the primary goal of this site is to be entertaining. I’m not trying to over-spiritualize this, but perhaps in some cases it would be more gracious to limit your generalizations in declamations and in caricatures of individuals… although I suppose that in many cases, individuals are the best illustrations of the quirks and idiosyncrasies of fundamentalists. Although I would agree that in many cases these folks are dead wrong, perhaps we could tone down the cynicism (which, as defined by the American Heritage Dictionary is “An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others”).
Most of the fundie blogs that I’ve read here are from those who were raised in Baptists churches. However, I was raised in an Assemblies of God church and my experience was very similar. Specifically:
1. “Mixed bathing” was not taking a bath together, but referred to boys and girls swimming at the same location (verboten).
2. In addition to banning movies (attendance at the theater), TV was also frowned upon. It made inroads only when those who purchased them claimed that their viewing was limited to “the news and Oral Roberts.”
3. In high school, our health and physical education classes included square dancing, but a note from our preacher was sufficient to be excused from this sinful activity. Similarly, a note could get you excused from “dressing out” which is wearing shorts in gym class.
4. The prohibitions concerning dress were aimed mainly at females. No jewelry, no makeup, no cutting of hair (a woman’s glory is in her hair), no pants. You could not distinguish a male fundy by his dress, but you sure could a female.
5. My teen years coincided with the Elvis Presley craze. We were repeatedly told that he was the devil incarnate.
6. We were the only true Christians. Those who worshipped across the creek at the Methodist Church were not going to make it and the Catholics were definitely going to burn in hell.
7. Musical talent was not a prerequisite for singing “specials” (pronounced spatials) in church.
8. Preachers who did not move around and shout while preaching or preachers who actually used sermon notes were not led by God. just open your mouth and God will give you the words. Acrobatic skills were a plus.
I frequent this blog. God has brought me out of the fundy movement in which I was raised. Although there are times it seems your post are a bit harsh I cannot know your heart, and have yet to find one that wasn’t true of my own experience. I not only find humor in your blog, but also great illustrations in making a point of the danger that modern fundyism has turned into. I have loved ones still in this movement, so I separate those under its influence from those who push it. For any wanting to know seriously why I think its a dangerous movement see this site. http://www.monergism.com/thethreshold/articles/onsite/FundyReform.html
Hope you don’t mind my posting it here.
I think you need to put a music player in your side bar like all of those other Fundy KJV only websites that I can never stop playing and starts over every time I refresh my browser. Maybe it can play “What A Friend We Have in Jesus” over and over again.
Just a suggestion.
Fred
I love it when people pray in the “king’s English.” That’s a sure sign that you are a fundie – if you can actually speak Shakespearean English fluently, thus proving your constant reading of the KJV..
I know a guy who has a license plate that says “AV 1611.”
@JS I’ve seen someone in Western PA with either AV 1611, or KJV 1611, I can’t recall which, and was both horrified & bursting at the seems laughing. Apparently when your itching ears want to hear the “kings english”, it’s find, if they want to hear that God wants a more just world, that’s a problem, especially if it’s modern english. Sometimes I wanna just punch people, cause nothing else works, and that would at least help vent. GRRRRRR
ok- completely of-topic: how come some of you have a picture next to your name and i am stuck with a generic sillouette? what do i have to do to get a picture? how many memory verses do i need to recite?
Get a gravatar! http://en.gravatar.com/
All the cool kids are doing it.
success!!!
wow, to some of these posters one can only say, ” Here’s your hat… what’s your hurry.” and if they have misplaced their headgear they can look here: http://persifler.wordpress.com/2010/04/06/proper-fundy-headgear/
Proud I am no longer an Independent Fundamental King James only Baptist… and yet still able to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Does this make me a cool kid now?
Dang it, didn’t work…
I AM an Independent Fundamental Baptist and this website and all of its contents are more than insulting!!! I do not line up with the absurd profile of Fundamentalists that you portray here. There are enough things in this world dividing the children of God and Christians dividing Christians should not be happening. Your website is nothing more than divisive and a laughing point for unbelievers as they watch us mock each other and do their jobs for them. There are those who fall in the profile that you show, but there are many like myself. We should be endeavoring to fix some of the existing problems that are made plain in some of your information, not continuing to drive the wedge further and further. I realize that there are many cliches and things that have been overemphasized in the Fundamentalist circles over the years, but they should not be a striving point between the children of God. I’m sure that there will be some smart comment following this b/c that seems to be you MO, but I’m sincere in what I say.
This is one of my favorite non-arguments of all time. Well done.
@Daniel much love to you too!
Daniel said: “I do not line up with the absurd profile of Fundamentalists that you portray here…” But Daniel that is the very point we are making… the IFB is an absurdity. The movement itself is cultic in it’s practices, especially in its elitist views of keeping a set of estra-biblical rules in order to be “right with God”, dogmatid adherence to KJVO, Landmarkism (a pseudo Roman Catholic idea not of Apostolic succession but of sociological succession traced back to John the Baptist) and dictatorial church rule. The whole performance Christianity attitude found in the IFB is absurd. We don’t have to point out this absurdity to the world… they see it already… it is the religious crowd that is blind to it.
estra- = extra- and domatid = dogmatic (fat finger spelling disease)
@Don: i, too, suffer from fat finger disease. i blame the potatoe salad from all those fundy potlucks! baptists like to pretend that the donatists were an early version of baptists, but i think it was really the DONUT-ISTS!
(rim-shot…cymbal crash)
Seventeen years going to IFB churches and never once did I notice the lack of Christ-centeredness in their messages and lifestyles.
It’s funny how you start noticing these things long after leaving.
Also, many thanks to the heretic Rob Bell for rescuing me from the not-so-fun-damentalists.
To whom it may concern: It is amazing as I read these posts how “humor” is used to criticize what ” God has done” and “what so many of these people would “do away with”. God used an “Ass” to rebuke Balaam, I suppose that would be considered rediculous and PETA would have to be called up, but God did it. His methods of using various objects or people are as wide as his ability to be diverse, which is endless. Since every idle word that a man shall speak someday will be given account of, and what folks say in a whisper in their closets will be shouted from the housetops… I would suggest being very careful about “lightly” treating what God has used to reach the lost and His people. (Mat 12:36) But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.(Luke 12:3) Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. (Think about it)
@Bill It’s pretty unclear what is being spoken in secret on this website?
This site is the opposite of secret. Part of what we do here is to make what’s done secretly in fundy churches a matter of public record.
I think the good brother Bill has something new to rant about from the pulpit! If he’s a good fundy, he’ll holler about the eeeevills of the interwebz, and he’ll get a lot of amens and preach its. The people will go home all fired up – and never realize that they were just starved a little bit more.
I think Bill’s website could be featured on a FWOTW (if it hasn’t already).
This site kinda depresses me : P I have been trying to forget my Fundy years. I am also embarrassed that I used to be so hardcore. Looking back at those years, I knew something was wrong inside me, but you could never talk about it, and reaching out to “other” evangelicals was heresy.
Very thankful for God leading me to my *gasp* Pentecostal church. I’ve been shedding the layers of religion that I have carried for so long! Whew! Better late than never to begin experiencing true life in Christ : )
Wow:
I have the same thoughts as Ernst. I don’t have an IFB background. I was not raised totally in a specific Christian subculture.
Yet I do believe fundamentally in the Bible and I agree with a few points they have. And I like being more feminine. I am not too fond of culottes. But the point is that you don’t want to end up judging those who have convictions with certain things that have nothing to do with the IFB.
I see a lot of legalism, self-righteousness and lack of true repentance in those kind of churches. And some spiritual laziness with some things also. If you don’t take time to read the Bible and do Bible Study yourself, then you are setting yourself up there with that. Pleading ignorance is not good at all. And this can happen in any denomination.
Any lack of true reverence for God and knowing how merciful and loving He is, even though He hates sin, perpetuates a lot of nonsense and a plethora of abuse. This is one thing I don’t like about independent churches with no proper authority to make sure things don’t get cultic. Or separate entitities that will not get enmeshed in the chaos.
May those who have been damaged by this, truly know Christ and forgive those who have trepassed against you. Not easy, but with God’s grace it can be done. You can’t love Christ and hold on to past bitterness with those who hurt you. It will destroy you and not them.
Even as Christians, we are called to bless those who curse us and pray for those who dispitefully use us. So that God will mercifully open their eyes before it’s too late for them.
If evil and pure wickedness has been permitted, even if you think they have gotten away with it, God sees and knows. They will have they time. They will not escape.
No matter what abusive background you come out of, once you have truly know what repentance is , and you stay away from the circuses that call themselves churches, you will then have to make a decision with your own walk with Christ. You have to make sure you are even saved first.
Because salvation is not based on your goodness, or your own merits or works-righteousness. Or a pastor making you jump through denominational hoops. And it is all a work of grace.
And in the end, we all will stand before and give an account of our lives. Because those people who are in these legalistic churches will be needing God’s mercy to be shown to them, in their time of need.
Because as a Christian if you are given an opportunity to minister to someone coming out of extreme IFB churches, you will have to demonstrate the same grace God has shown you coming out of it. Otherwise you can become a hyprocrite. And anyone can be a hyprocrite, no exceptions.
I have been warned about anything associated with Hyles. Absolute wickedness.
The irony is that most of the comments against this blog make the argument that there is so many good things in the IFB world that they don’t deserve a good pointing out of their problems – but when the mountain of evidence is to the contrary and it’s defenders have to dig out tired arguments to support it… it’s time to just give it up.
Anyone who has a broad perpective of Christianity knows two things: There are issues with every group, network, denomination and camp (to use a fundy word). Two, the issues are most glaring and obvious in the Independent, Fundamental Baptist world.
The fact that an entire blog could be dedicated to it almost makes it a non argument when the great majority of those issues are because of many unhealthy behaviors, strange interpretations of scripture, man-made, outdated preferences that are uplifted as doctrine, theologically untenable positions on bible translations, bizarre, antiquated (unbiblical) views on married sexuality, dress, music and gender rolls – in addition to unbiblical, culturally disconnected views on ecclesiastical separation and methodology. The list could go on with things like overbearing leadership, legalistic this, man centered that… but I digress. Because their preferences are elevated as doctrine it weakens their theology to the point that most of it is derived from tradition rather than Bible or practical thought. They tend to be “independent” in title but frozen in reality because of the mountains of peer-pressure put on them by other “brothers” who they “associate” with.
Then their reaction to someone pointing out the problems only results in them saying “there are fringe elements that are extreme and I (they) are not – sorry but fundamentalism in it’s current contemporary form is the extreme fringe. People that see the problems tend to leave. The other argument is to basically paint everything else as wrong and throw out a “remnant” argument.
Some say that fundamentalism is worth fighting for. I say God does not care for it and NO – a lethargic, ineffective, stagnated, tradition worshipping, man made movement is not worth fighting for. What is worth fighting for are real Biblical fundamentals and the right to be truly independent to the point we contextualize, cooperate with other Christians and the right to lead a Christian life without guilt and man-made traditions being forced upon us.
I count myself fortunate that God has allowed me to escape the dying carcass of fundamentalism and allowed me to be part of something fresh, alive and focused on Jesus. Seems to me that’s how Christianity should be!!
“. . .a movement that rejected not only liberal theology but also those parts of the culture that it considered to be “worldly” such as certain types of music, styles of dress, the theater, alcohol, and many others.”
You might want to specify the type of “theater.” Many mainline fundamentalists would probably not reject attending an opera house or a theater in which Shakespeare plays were shown with regularity.
@Nate
If you’ll find Shakespeare’s plays there, it’s a theatre. A theater is where you go to watch movies. Of course, I wouldn’t expect fundies to know the difference, even though they can give you a dissertation on why it’s a platform, not a stage. ;~)
@Nate and Josh: It depends. Some extreme fundies reject even Shakespeare and, presumably, kindergarten plays, because the actors are pretending to be people they are not and, therefore, lying to the audience. I kid you not. This guy (http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/) goes so far as to shout down BJU as apostate because it has liars onstage every semester and “graven images” in the Museum and Gallery.
BTW, Darrell: if you haven’t used Biblical Discernment Ministries (above) as a FWOTW yet, it’s ripe for inclusion.
I just wanted to say hi and great job Darrell. I have been lurking for about a month but I have finally decided to partake in the conversation.
I love the Random Post option.