103 thoughts on “Where Have All the Doctors Gone?”

  1. What year is this? – looks like it could be 1960 (the sanctified look)

    1. I was just going to say, this looks exactly like the photos from the Baptist Conferences of the 1960s. It is creepy.

      1. Fundy retro look. They must be going through the 1960 phase. In a few years, they’ll have their summer of love phase, and the page will be printed in bright pastels, with bubble letters, and all the Dr.’s will have full facial hair.

        Oh, wait. That’s not a retro look for them, is it? Oh, well. I can dream.

  2. Heh, when you said it’s “missing something,” I first thought you meant it lacks any speakers who are women or people of color or who have their own hair.

    Silly me.

  3. If this is a new turn towards humility & honesty, then I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!

    1. If you’ll be a monkey’s uncle, that implies you must believe in evolution. Heavens to Murgatroyd!

        1. Does anyone remember a cartoon called “Funky Phantom”? ( We’re going back at least three, maybe four decades. ) I have a vague collection that character said it too…

        2. I have an idea W.C. Fields said “Heavens to Murgatroyd,” although I don’t recall which in which movie he said it.

        3. When in doubt, check the internets.

          This is what I found on Yahoo!

          Lance W
          Best Answer: ‘Heavens to Murgatroyd’ is American in origin and dates from the mid 20th century. The expression was popularized by the cartoon character Snagglepuss – a regular on the Yogi Bear Show in the 1960s, and is a variant of the earlier ‘heavens to Betsy’.

          The first use of the phrase wasn’t by Snagglepuss but comes from the 1944 film Meet the People. It was spoken by Bert Lahr, best remembered for his role as the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz. Snagglepuss’s voice was patterned on Lahr’s, along with the ‘heavens to Murgatroyd’ line. Daws Butler’s vocal portrayal of the character was so accurate that when the cartoon was used to promote Kellogg Cereals, Lahr sued and made the company distance him from the campaign by giving a prominent credit to Butler.

          As with Betsy, we have no idea who Murgatroyd was. The various spellings of the name – as Murgatroid, Mergatroyd or Mergatroid tend to suggest that it wasn’t an actual surname. While it is doubtful that the writers of Meet The People (Sig Herzig and Fred Saidy) were referring to an actual person, they must have got the name from somewhere.

          No fewer than ten of the characters in Gilbert and Sullivan’s comic opera Ruddigore (1887) are baronets surnamed “Murgatroyd”, eight of whom (or is that which?) are ghosts. Herzig and Saidy were well versed in the works of the musical theatre and that plethora of Murgatroyds would have been known to them.

          Where then did the librettist Sir William Gilbert get the name? It seems that Murgatroyd has a long history as a family name in the English aristocracy. In his genealogy The Murgatroyds of Murgatroyd, Bill Murgatroyd states that, in 1371, a constable was appointed for the district of Warley in Yorkshire. He adopted the name of Johanus de Morgateroyde – literally John of Moor Gate Royde or ‘the district leading to the moor’.

          Whether the Murgatroyd name took that route from Yorkshire to Jellystone Park we can’t be certain. Unless there’s a Betsy Murgatroyd hiding in the archives, that’s as close as we are likely to get to a derivation.

        4. “The Murgatroyds of Murgatroyd,” by Bill Murgatroyd, should be in the Book Title Hall of Fame.

  4. John’s got to be hating this!

    There was probably one dude with no “doctorate” and so because that would be awkward they decided that not adding “Dr” to the others was quicker and easier than firing up the mimeograph to make that one dude his own “doctorate”.

    1. They’ve been more than happy to list Dr by most and no title or “Bro” by the non “doctors”.

      1. That’s what I as thinking. If it was a mix of “dr” and “bro” it would be fine but only one “bro” would be awkward.

    2. I’m certain that before every single manngawd comes up to the sacred desk his ego will be stroked for five or ten minutes, to include the insertion of “doctor” ten or fifteen times. All the lowly pew-dwellers will know each and every man’s title, so let’s not worry our little heads off now ya’ hear?

      1. Um, there’s so much I could say to that comment but this is a family show.

      2. Well, well, well. It wasn’t until I pondered Lady Semp’s observations that I could see where my comments could lead.

        Shame….shame, I say, on all of you!

        My intent was as pure as the wind driven snow, so wake the kids up.


        1. I think the kids had better stay in bed, somehow the Eskimos have gotten in on this one.

        2. Ah, but you figured out where I was going with your comments, so shame on you!

  5. Darrell, I’m sure you deserve the credit for shaming them for past dishonesty!

  6. Fundies can just blame it on Obamacare for creating another doctor shortage.

      1. Agreed. Having lived in a majority Inupiat community for many years I can assure you that these are some wonderful people.

        1. I met some Eskimoes (Innupiat and Yupik) in Alaska, and I like them a lot.

    1. I’m surprised he could get away from the 12 student bible kawledge. He was just up in Niagara County for a tent meeting. All expenses paid plus a love offering. It’s good work if you can get it.

      1. I bet the falls never sounded so good as when they drown out the shouting nonsense of various fundy tent meetings!

  7. Some of those guys need to update their photos. Shelton and Tom haven’t looked that young in about 20 years.

  8. Dear SFL Reader…

    Any guess as to whether Darrell’s ‘insider’ source will again this year provide a ‘blow by blow’ account of these blowhar … er … aging, holy, white guys?

    Christian Socialist

    1. There’s not enough money or booze in all of Walkertown for me to go back and sit through all their crap again. I’m betting that if someone were to go at least 10%+ of the sermon material will be recycled from past reports. I mean that’s why these guys are “evangelists” they have 7 maybe 8 good sermons that will get them thru a weeks worth of meetings. o.O

      1. Yet the church members get so excited about “another revival with Tom Farrell (or insert name).” Then all the sermons are the same as six years ago.

        1. Dear JesusLovinHomo:

          Methinks the ‘good’ part is when the ‘sermon’ is finished.

          Christian Socialist

        2. “Good” is defined as congruous with the intended outcome. E.g. “That was a good nuclear bomb.” It doesn’t mean the bomb was moral, or even desirable, but rather that it functioned well in its intended purpose of mass destruction. In similar fashion, these sermons are designed to obliterate brain cells and deconstruct the basic humanity of the listener. As they generally succeed rather well in this endeavor, they can be referred to as “good”.

  9. The Sword of the Lord (and of John R. Rice) is certainly in need of some good polishing. I wonder where the brave young knights are who could carry on the tradition?

    I know several of the grandchildren of the great (non-hyles northern variety) fundies of the past well and I see that the apple is falling far from the tree (in a good way)

    1. Dear Apathetic or whatever …

      Should we call, pretend to be them and cancel reservations?

      Christian Socialist

      PS: I bet it’s hard to believe that I was always the ‘problem’ child in school … 😉

  10. Let’s see, we have men of the cloth from all over the South, from MI, from Shelton-stomping-ground MD, ex-hippie Rossi, and even a token CT. Yep, that’s SOTL. Hey, where’s anyone from the Left Coast?? Isn’t this a “national” conference? I guess I’m not a citizen of God’s “nation” anymore.

    1. Yeah, I noticed there are no left coast Fundies represented. All older, white men with bad haircuts. Their “good ole boys” club remains homogeneous, which shows how out of step they are with our culture. IMHO, this hints SOTL is indeed a dying movement.

  11. Dear Shelton:

    National Sword Conference…
    Abysmal Bored Pestilence.

    Love good preaching too much go…

    Christian Socialist

    PS: Just say ‘NO’ to graceless, moralistic screeds.

  12. Ed Carter and/or Lou Baldwin could bring some variety to this conference. The first thing I noticed is that they were all white guys.

    1. You’ve got to love the token black guys who make a living off “reaching black America.” In other words… they take handouts from white IFB’s to sit around and do nothing except missions conferences and revival meetings. Its not like they actually do anything to impact their community.

  13. I liken these fundy conferences to the Confederate battle flag controversy: Come hell or high water we’re going to stay true to the olde paths!


    PS. I also noticed that one or two of their photos in the gallery captured images of mens-folk without a suit coat on. WWJRRT?

    1. No suit coats? Heresy!

      That won’t happen this year. All those elderly white guys are without doctorates but with suit coats and ties.

  14. It lacks humility, dignity and grace. Oh wait a minute, you mean the infamous, fundie ‘Dr.’ thing…lol must have slipped my mind. I thought you meant the speakers.

  15. OK, the SOTL has finally recognized their overuse of the “doctor” honorific, and they are undoubtedly searching frantically for a new one. Can we proffer to them some helpful suggestions??

      1. I remember reading about a television reporter who made a major boo-boo when he referred to “His Popiness the Hole”

    1. How about Doctor of Fundamentalist Bibliolatry or D.F.B. for short? Many of these guys have advanced D.F.B.

  16. Maybe since all of them are honorary doctors, they felt that the title wouldn’t distinguish them from one another? Like it would be white noise to have all these Dr.’s in front of every name.

      1. I once knew a school superintendent who had an earned Ph.D. from Vanderbilt. He was a very humble guy and never touted it, never insisted that everyone call him “Doctor.” However, he took his wife one day to a follow-up medical appointment with a specialist whom she had found to be an arrogant know-it-all. When the doc introduced himself, my friend pointedly shot back, “And I’m DOCTOR [so and so].” He said the physician was considerably more hospitable after that.

        It comes in handy, I guess: kinda like being a Freemason and getting a motel room. You’ve got to show your ring.

      2. Great, well, I guess I can blame you to my wife when she gets sick of all the Chevy Chase and Dan Ackroyd movies that I am going to have to rewatch again thanks to you.

        But a great clip nonetheless. I always tried to fashion myself after Chevy in Fletch. Probably one of his greatest movies.

  17. These guys, and their Dad’s, have been doing the same conferences for at least the 40 years I’ve been alive. Since their numbers are plummeting, and some of “the club” is now doing federal time, rejoicing in his “three hots and a cot”, you’d think they’d switch things up a little. Even some of these guys have to be getting tired of going to the exact same functions EVERY YEAR, hearing the exact same sermons EVERY YEAR, and watching it all crumble. Unless they get a significant monetary reward for attending, then they’d be happy to keep doing it for an infinite amount of time.

    You think they take a love offering for Jack Schaap’s commissary account at these things? “Brother Jack really loves Cheetos, and Soup in a Cup, so please give what you can.”

    1. Really? There seem to be some new names in the lineup this year. Looking at the top line, I’ve never heard of Mike Wells.

      On the next line, I’ve heard of Jon Jenkins and Lou Rossi, but Mike Allison is new.

      Third line: Never heard of Jim Townsley or Tim Rabon.

  18. I’m assuming that SFL is having an impact; even people who don’t agree with much of what is posted here are noting the good points (like the abuse of awarding honorary doctorates). I’m assuming that this change on the part of the SOTL is in recognition of overdoing it.

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