43 thoughts on “Is This Thing On?”

  1. I live in a part of the country that is buried under snow.

    Owning a snowblower would be awesome (and practical) but utterly impossible when you’re more deeply buried in debt than in snow. A snowblower is a luxury for some people.

  2. Most of us have been there too. Relax, catch your breath, sit by the fire with a hot beverage and your feet on the hassock.
    (well, as much as you can with small ones.)

      1. As much fun as I had with our three three-year-olds, (not at the same time) I can’t say the empty nest isn’t kind of nice. Other than they all live in different states and I have to travel to see them.
        I’ve seen the two in warmer climates fairly recently. The one in the snow may have to wait a bit longer.

  3. If only you had a good ifb church to attend on Sundays, Wednesdays and to be involved with Thursday visitation, Saturday Bus Visitation, etc., then you could handle this “stuff” with ease.

  4. I hope it is okay for me to make a quick recommendation or advertisement.
    I just finished reading (again) “So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore” by Wayne Jacobsen. This is a must read for this audience and was instrumental in my getting out and over the IFB cult. This book along with some others is available to read online at lifestream.org

    Another suggestion is his other book – “The Naked Church” Be careful at what pics may come back if you Google this one though 🙂 This book is in essence the doctrinal foundation to the title above.

    1. Excom. Thanks for the sugestion. Wayne’s writing puts into words exactly how I feel!
      The whole “church” model we follow is so flawed. I hope to make it to where he is someday. I’m still stuck at I don’t want to play anymore. He gives me hope. 🙂

        1. I’ve lost about 20 pounds since last summer, just by skipping the last helping I was going to have of whatever I’m eating.
          That, and no more drinks containing sugar.

    1. I’m getting an ad for a book called “Octopus, the Ocean’s Intelligent Invertebrate.”
      Which actually sounds kinda interesting, but how Amazon came up with that one, I don’t know.

  5. I thought this would be a post about the inability to get the A/V equipment to work right for the missionary presentation. Must be the devil at work disrupting the meeting. Some body quick bind that guy and for petes sake, quit letting him go!

      1. I couldn’t get to the end. 2 minutes in the nausea was overwhelming.

        Now I have never gone in for religion like that. That would have been more painful than the IFB was.

        What is distressing is that so many people are mentally deficient enough to think those people are bringing them closer to God. Cyanide would be more effective.

        1. I’m not sure they actually believe that. I suspect if they do use that language, it is just post hoc defense. The psychological fact is that people need a release. I don’t see much difference between Ken Copeland and Motley Crew, except that rock bands are honest enough not to drag God into the conversation.

        1. Which after a few weeks in your pocket will turn rancid. You will never hen need a new wallet, which they will give you absolutely free of charge for only three donations of $33.33 in easy monthly payments, plus $9.49 shipping and handling.

          But wait! If you act now and send your donation in one lump sum you can get two (count them! One, TWO!) wallets for the same donation! Separate shipping and handling charges apply.

          Additionally, you will receive information on the other items prayed over, blessed out (uhh, blessed!), and hands laid on for you to give as gifts. A favorite is the Preacher’s Handkerchief, used to wipe the holy sweat from the preacher’s brow as he sermonizing during Christmas. Caution: this Holy Spirit-filled item may be slightly damp on delivery. Only 69.99 — just one cent short of God’s perfect number, haymen? You, too, could share the Holy Spirit’s inner moving with Our Brother, as God revealed Himself with feverish dreams and earnest prayers in the closet (WC). Supplies limited. Act now!

        2. rtgmath–do you happen to remember or have heard of Reverend Ike? He was on the radio and TV back in the 70s and 80s. My roommates and I used to listen to him on Sunday mornings while getting ready for church back at TTU. Part of his shtick was if you sent him $10.00, he would send you a dollar he had prayed over. “If you keep this dollar in your wallet, you will never be broke”.
          Well duh!
          He also, for a donation, would send a “prayer cloth” he had blessed for you to place over an ailment for healing.

        3. Yup. Him and a few others. Carl McIntyre, Billy James Hargiss, Jack Van Impe (who is *still* huckstering to this day!). Lots of the same gimmicks and the same crackerjack prizes.

        4. Rtgmath, UncleWilver, Gary, I once was face to face with Ernest Angly (in video) in an airport terminal. I had my guitar and my bible, and he took one look at me and turned away (we were literally face to face). He had an elderly woman with him who had obvious hip problems by the way she walked. I almost asked him why he wouldn’t heal her.

  6. At first when I read the title I thought “Oh, he’s referring to all the times someone will go up to the podium, start to talk and then say, “Is this thing on?” talking about the microphone. Sometimes this is accompanied by a glare at the soundman. If I’ve heard that once I’ve heard it 3,000 times in fundy churches. Along with “Give me more sound” “Give me less sound” “It’s ringing” “It’s this or that” and I roll my eyes and think just get on with it!

    1. Our old IFB pianist used to play a few notes, then stop and glare at the sound guy and stage-whisper across the congregation, “It sounds tinny!” then, the whole congregation would turn around and stare for half a verse. Oh, people!

  7. Breath on, friend!

    I think we’ll just mosey on over to the forum and make some intelligent contributions whilst you take care of more important business, like breathing.

    Perhaps not allowing fundystan to invade our thoughts on occasion is a necessary pursuit. Taking a break from putting into words the lunacy might very well be medicine for the soul.

    Funny, isn’t it?

    B.R.1

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