“You have become the thing you hate” read the message in my inbox and I hung my head and sighed that it was true. I have become again a fundy.
Oh, it was a slow and subtle change to be sure but all the signs are there if you only know how to read them. My dictatorial airs, my refusal to listen to any opinion but my own or see another’s point of view, my insistence that all of you dress and act and believe the exact same way that I do. I’m back to fundy.
I was aghast when I realized that my home has become filled with only books by Christian authors and that I had burned my copy of The Phantom of the Opera along with all my Obama/Biden posters. I was dismayed to find myself judging all the others who don’t wake up early in the morning to curate their blogs the way I do. At least three posts a week to thrive, my friends! Alas, I’m fundy.
And then the most unkindest cut of all was realizing that unawares I’d started a Bible college in my basement. There huddled around the furnace were six young men all dressed in suits and ties and waiting patiently for me to teach them the ways of the world and make them versions of myself. Worse yet, stacked around the sump pump I sadly discovered a library of books all with my name printed out on the outside and signed by me on the inside. What a blow to unexpectedly find my fundy.
I went straight away to my wife to ask if these things were so. Am I fallen so far? She smiled meek and gentle and would not dare to speak lest she accidentally usurp authority over me. Me the fundy.
Fundy is as fundy does
Fundy is and fundy was
So I’ll leave it up to you
Set me straight and help me through
And I’ll gladly judge you too
Are we fundies?