Giveaway: Dark Dungeons: The Movie Digital Downloads

I really couldn’t ask for a better birthday present than the upcoming release of Dark Dungeons: The Movie, a take-off on the Chick tract that infamously warns of the dangers of Dungeons & Dragons.

To enter to win one of the two free downloads I’m giving away you can sign up and follow social media stuff here:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you don’t want to bother you can just go ahead and pre-order the movie here.

100 thoughts on “Giveaway: Dark Dungeons: The Movie Digital Downloads”

  1. Somebody should come up with a game based on this! 😎
    Actually a Jack Chick Game would be fiendishly fun (pun intended) with the Vatican being the Dark Fortress all Real True Xians are supposed to assault.

    1. *You rolled a 7. You drank from a bottle of beer, and demons are now ruining your life. You are now being tormented.

      *You rolled a 5. The demons you previously released from the bottle of beer have teleported you to a satanic concert where the youth congregate wearing black leather jackets.

      *You rolled a 7. You’re now wearing a torn black leather jacket. Your face went from angelic baby face with properly parted hair, to ugly gargoyle face. You’re also wearing an earring. You spit and sweat a lot when you talk.

  2. After watching the trailer, I think I better stick to first person shooters. RPG is just to realistic.

      1. I played a little D&D in the early 80s. Never needed rocket propelled grenades because my elf had magic arrows.

      2. D&D has a spell called magic missile. The equivalent of *Magical* rocket propelled grenades. More dangerous and real ones. I have a friend who lost a soul-leg to one.

  3. I wonder where I fall in JTC’s grand scheme. I spent a good bit of the morning shooting tanks (not watering ponds, Big Gary–armored fighting vehicles), and in the process “killing” some of their crew-members. As well as having my own tanks blown up over and over.
    To make it worse, I was platooning with my son-in-law. I guess that makes us accomplices to even more killings.

      1. Why yes, it would. I even use the same name as here. I’m about to play a bit more before I do something useful with the day. Mostly tier V credit grinding. I need 2.5 mil more for my E 75, then after another 6million I should have almost enough XP for my first X, the IS-7.

        1. I’m supposed to be doing yard work, but I learned a little bit ago that a chainsaw is not much use against angry hornets.

        2. Very nice. I may track you down. Should be on this evening for a tourney. Name on their is Kimili.

    1. Interesting co-inky-dinky. I spent much of the morning around tanks of water (the ones my fish live in).

  4. This is great! Can’t wait to win this. πŸ˜‰

    Seriously, though, I’ve been craving, in a morbid way, those old Father Alberto comics from Jack Chick. They were so horrible, and so fascinating. Anybody have a stack of ’em I can show my husband? He doesn’t believe me when I tell him about them.

    1. @Hannah–here is enough to prove its existence, and to whet his appetite for more.

    2. Google “fmh child alberto” and the first three results have it and the rest of the series in image format. That fmh child website, however, is beyond fundiecrazy. Its 90’s format makes it even creepier.

    3. Gullion’s Bookstore here in Winston-Salem sells them. My kids used to go in and look at them and howl with laughter. I guess that was the dead giveaway that we weren’t fundies. Explains all the dirty looks we got.

  5. Nerds everywhere are furiously pounding their keyboards in their mom’s basement. Hot chicks don’t come with 10 square miles of a real RPG, and there’s certainly not a big frat party around one.

    1. I must disagree on this one – in my university choir, it was a prerequisite to be an utter geek, and one of the big events was when a whole bunch of folks (including a number of thoroughly lovely ladies) got together to play D&D.
      I love university. GEEKS EVERYWHERE.

  6. Frankly there are too many athletic looking people and not enough neckbeards for this movie to be really believable.

  7. RPG games take too much time — at least that has been my excuse for the last several years.

    I have watched an anime series recently, Sword Art Online. Now if RPG games were to go virtual, from your own computer, I would go for that!

        1. It might have been my mood at the time. And the fact that I didn’t often get to watch it so a lot of my viewing only got part of the story.

          Then again, I was a fan of the ole Buck Rogers series. Much lighter and often silly (but not in a sitcom way. I hate sitcoms!).

          I generally like SciFi, though, and read quite a bit of it. Finished an Elizabeth Moon series about Sassinak (the protagonist). I am a fan of David Weber. His Honor Harrington series is top drawer.

        2. The new BSG was the best television ever. Period. Caprica was a lot darker, and not as well executed, but it did ask some very important questions about the human condition, the most obvious being the holographic video game world where everyone exercised their most depraved tendencies.

  8. I’m going to use the EVIL powers i have gained through RPGs to manipulate the odds of wining to my favor πŸ™‚

    I sit with my deck of “Deliverance” cards awaiting a challenger….

  9. Dear Darrell!

    Thanks a million! I may actually get a night off from playing Skyrim Elder Scrolls with the grandson!

    Christian Socialist

  10. I like the trailer, even though it looks like they just had a kegger and filmed it. Come to think of it, it was a lot tamer than some of the ones I’ve been to.

  11. Didn’t the original pitch for the movie promise there would be puppets?
    I didn’t see any puppets in the trailer.

  12. Pastor won’t let me have any social media accounts, or an e-mail address. It’s just more persecution of the righteous! πŸ™‚

    1. Who cares what he says? And you can get a nice email account with Google without his approval.

      The MoG only has as much control over your life as you let him.

  13. Wait are some people actually confused as to whether or not this is a parody?

    It’s totally a parody. No actual fundy would dare show men’s abs or women wearing pants!

  14. I am so excited for this movie. I don’t need to enter the giveaway because I donated to the Kickstarter to secure my copy, but I simply cannot wait to watch it. It’s going to be great.

    Have any of the Fundy blogs, etc. caught on to it, by the way? I could do with reading a nice relaxing rant against it (or a very misguided one in favor of it!).

  15. Well I.m outta this one years ago. How old is Jack Chick anyway and is he still writing tracts? seams he should be dead by now.

    1. Jack Chick seems to be a pretty mysterious figure. He keeps to himself, he never gives interviews, and not much is known about him.
      He is believed to be still alive. Wikipedia says Chick was born April 13, 1924, in Boyle Heights (Los Angeles), California. If the 1924 date is correct, he is 90 now.

      Other people have been writing and illustrating some of the Chick tracts for decades now, but he still runs the printing business and may still write some of the tracts.

      I’m always amazed at how many agnostics and atheists are huge fans of Chick’s work.

  16. Dark Dungeons=Fundy Reefer Madness.

    By the way, do watch the old documentary Hell House.

  17. Speaking of Chick Pulbications:

    I just pulled a volume from my extensive library which I don’t believed I’ve handled in twenty-eight years…since the time I actually read it. Has anyone here read 50 Years in the “Church” of Rome?

    The subtitle is “The Conversion of a Priest”

    It’s by Charles Chiniquy.


    1. I read it in Bible College as it was highly recommended by my history professor. At the time I was convinced of its truthfulness, but I’ve grown more skeptical over time.

        1. With the way fundies lie about their adversaries, I wouldn’t trust that “Conversion” one iota.

          Funny, though. Today a lot of fundies are behind the Confederate Cause, dead though it is. If Conversion is true and the Vatican was behind the Confederate Cause, that would put fundies right in the company of Rome. And think of it, Dr. Bob Jones I and Bob Sr. (aka II) had friends in the KKK!

          (And BOOM! fundy heads explode in confusion!)

  18. I wonder that Chick gave them the film rights – did the Chick company not know it would be a parody?

    1. Neither Chick nor the producers nor the fundies who see the flick will recognize it as a parody. It is a Poe.

      The film recognizes their ultimate dark fears and fantasies about the world being in the grip of “the forces of darkness.” Never mind that the world is nothing like what they imagine. They envision people as being active worshippers of demons if they do not worship “God” as they do.

      The ultimate truth of this film is likely to be that fundies are full of fears of the unknown and (to them) unknowable, seeing dark doings in their imaginations and evil on every hand. In that, they are very much like the heathen nations around Israel who walked in terror of the gods and demons in the earth. The Israelites who trusted the Lord, on the other hand, did not believe in demons, since God had made all things good.

      It is an amazing difference.

      1. I don’t know about that last claim. The authors of the Gospels seem to have believed in demons, since they told of Jesus casting out demons from people they had possessed.

        Our world has other explanations for what used to be called demon possession– bacteria, brain injuries, parasites, and so on– but the writers of the Bible lived in a different conceptual world.

        1. Dr. Fundystan, I agree. It would seem that the civilizations of the ancient near east were by all accounts henotheists, whether the Sumerians, Babylonians, or the Ugaritic (Ras Shamra), etc.

          Nowadays the IFB, charismatics, and many evangelicals elevate Satan to the point of tacit acceptance of henotheism.

        2. If you look in the Old Testament, there is no concept of demons. None. The NT belief seems to be an import from Zoroastrianism, which infected the culture via the Babylonian captivity. Even so, in the Old Testament there is no mention of demon possession.

          The Old Testament approach to other gods is that they did not exist or had no power and could be ignored. The creation stories do not mention them. Even Satan is not mention up until the reign of David. The mention of Satan in Job departs significantly from other Scriptures. There are questions about when it was written, which could have been as late as the time of the return from Babylon (Ezra). But even after Job’s reference, Satan has almost no presence in Israel. And no matter how you parse out the Ezekiel references, any possible references to Satan were not dealing with Israel.

          After Elijah got through decimating the Baal cult, Israel seemed to ignore the other gods almost completely. And when the Jews returned from Babylon, Ezra and Nehemiah reinforced the people’s separation from idolatry by tying their genealogical identity to it.

        3. “Actually, the writers of the Psalms, the prophets, etc., appear to have been henotheists.”

          I fully agree. The OT leaders and prophets, at least in the older scriptures, never claimed that the pagan gods didn’t exist; they just condemned the worship of them by the Hebrews because, among other reasons, it would provoke the jealousy of Y*w*h.

          In Genesis 1, by the way, the word we translate “God” (Elohim) is plural, so “In the beginning, the gods …” would probably be more accurate.

        4. “In Genesis 1, by the way, the word we translate β€œGod” (Elohim) is plural, so β€œIn the beginning, the gods …” would probably be more accurate.”

          I agree with you, B.G.

          But the fundagelical ‘scholars’ call this a ‘plural of majesty’. Interesting, huh?

        5. I agree. At least some of the authors of the Old Testament seemed henotheistic.

          What the New Testament calls demons would, at least in some cases, be seen as lesser gods in the Old Testament.

        6. At least some of the authors of the Old Testament seemed henotheistic. This is better wording, EC. It is important to remember the vast diversity of authorship, context, and timeline in the OT writings, something which my own comment did not reflect.

  19. This is basically epic. I was chuckling through the preview; I can only hope the final project is as good. Although I do have to say that anyone who needs minifigures and set pieces to play D&D is playing the WRONG VERSION.

      1. “Hear Hear” is correct. It’s a call to others to listen to what’s being said.

  20. Gen Con is being held this coming weekend…literally right across the street from where I work. I should try to sneak in for the premier. I will have to pull my hooded robe from out of my desk drawer of course.

  21. My husband and I win free tickets to the coca Cola 600 this past May. Wanted to see what a Nascar race was like, so we went. The most disturbing thing that we saw… A local Charlotte area church handing out Nascar related Chick tracts in the fanzone area. The whole terrible story of a race car driver married to a buddhist who didn’t let him pray with other drivers. Eventually, the racing killed him and he burned in hell.

    Chick had a tract for all occasions.

    1. Since I grew up 1 block from an urban freeway, NASCAR has very little appeal for me. I’ve had all the watching cars go by I will ever need.

  22. Now that I think about it the cautionary tales the father gives in the movie The Croods sounds alot like stoneage versions of Chick tracts. “Dont be playing those RPGs cause if you do…….*SPLAT!!!!*

  23. Definitely a parody and pretty funny.
    Especially the last line about the cthulu mythos being real. I wish RPG was anything like that.

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