Hello, brothers and sisters. May I please have a minute of your time as the piano plays “Softly and Tenderly” in the background?
If you know a Fundy “Brotha,” please do not introduce him to another Fundy “Sista,” in the hopes that they will be equally yoked in one-flesh matrimony until the second coming of our Lord. It’s weird. It’s wrong. Stop it.
As a pastor’s kid (wait, they make Black IFB pastors?), I can’t tell you how many random p.k.s, m.k.s, e.k.s (they’re the creepiest), etc. that I have been forced to shake hands with during the meet & greet time on Sunday mornings. It’s always awkward. Twice, upon meeting a gentleman, he has asked to pray with me after the service, asking for God’s guidance in our lives and wisdom, oh wisdom!, for whatever relationship may blossom.
Why does this happen?
Because there are so few Black people in Fundamentalism, every effort must be made to seal the marriage deal as soon as possible with any and every conversation with the opposite sex.
Although there is great opportunity for an interracial relationship, you’ll have to go down to the non-denominational church for that. Haymen!
It’s not our fault that the IFB dating scene is particularly lacking in ethnic diversity. Why, when I graced the hallowed halls of BJU, I was 1 of 30 African/African-American/bi-racial/deeply tanned students at the entire university. I had to endure a multitude of conversations starting with something like, “Do you know DeQuan? He’s really cute for a Black guy. You two should go to Artist Series together.” No, Becky. No, we shan’t.
Just because two people that YOU know are Black:
A) That doesn’t mean they are attracted to each other.
B) That doesn’t mean that they want to meet each other at all.
C) That doesn’t mean that it’s the will of God for their lives to be together.
So please take this information and bury it deep in your heart. Arm yourself with this knowledge and apply it to your life. Your 3 Black friends will thank you.
(Thank you so much for this guest post, MG! ~ D)