Friday Challenge: Sooooo Fundamentalist

Today’s challenge is to complete the following sentence “Your Mama/Daddy is soooooo fundamentalist that he/she…”

As in:

“Your Mama is soooo fundamentalist that she has a reserved parking spot down at the altar.”

“Your Daddy is soooo fundamentalist that his blood type is Kool-Aid.”

You get the idea.

619 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Sooooo Fundamentalist”

  1. Yo daddy’s so fundy you discovered SFL when he was featured in a post.

    You subsequently freaked out when you commented and your avatar came up automatically from your email address, emailed Darrel to get it removed, and discovered you’d met him as a kid IRL.

  2. Yo momma’s so Fundy that every Halloween your family hid in a dark house to avoid having to deal with the wicked and deluded trick-or-treaters that would come to your door.

    1. I still do that!

      So, does that still make me fundy?

      Perhaps I don’t like crowds. (I don’t)

      Perhaps I don’t like strangers coming to my door en masse. (I don’t)

      Perhaps I regard my privacy as important. (I do)

      Perhaps I’m a nutrition nut who doesn’t like to give out cancer-causing sugary treats to those poor, hapless, little crumb crunchers. (no)

      Or, quite possibly, I still have a little too much fundy left in me!

      Crowds, Strangers, and Privacy…I’ll stick with that.

      1. It’s not being fundy if you make your choices for yourself based on those reasons. It’s fundy if you hide because you think participating in Halloween makes you complicit with demons and God will be angry with you.

        I love the sense of community demonstrated on Halloween in a day and age when most people stay in their homes with their electronics and often our neighbors are strangers to us, but I respect people who prefer privacy.

        1. Where I live now, Halloween is a good chance to meet my neighbors and their kids in a fun setting (in my ‘hood, most parents go along with their kids for Trick or Treat).

        2. Ours too! I’ve actually come across parents who have a firepit set up with mini-cups of adult beverages available for parents walking by.

        3. I was too busy to do a costume in 2013, but in October 2012, I tied a toy dog to the top of my car, wore a Mitt Romney mask, and carried a loose-leaf binder marked “Women.”

  3. Your mama’s so fundy she threatened you when you were five with dire consequences if you ever told anyone that your favorite cookie was butterscotch oatmeal. People would think you liked liquor! She subsequently refused to make them again.

  4. You are so fundamentalist you believe that roman caholic parents are happy to hand their children over to pedophile priests in order to earn their way out of purgatory. (I come from northern Ireland and I have heard that expressed)

    1. I admit that isn’t funny and this is supposed to be a humor site but it dosyurns me that there are christians who have such distorted views. Thankfully that was not something i was taught as i was growing up but wonder if any of you were fed stuff like this…

  5. Yo daddys so fundy that you still havent paid off all the friends in high school in the 80’s whose cassette tapes he pulled all the tape out of and threw across your bedroom because of that satanic rock n roll! Hell, for years we thought that the first thing rock stars did when they got up in the morning was to slam a shot of heroine, just before they sacrificed a baby on the alters they had built in their kitchens to Satan.

    1. My parents would intimidate me into pulling out the tape myself. :( That’s why I kept friends’ borrowed tapes in my car, safely ensconced in the cases of approved cassettes.

      But yeah, the drugs & sacrificing…something (I think it was goats in my circles) was something we totally believed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>