FWOTW: homanstotheromans.org

I never cease to be amazed when missionaries to non-English speaking countries make much of their stance on the KJV. Today’s website pick has no less than four different KJV mentions on the first page.

I’m also in complete suspense about what their evangelizing means are going to be. Somehow the rest of the points don’t really seem to follow in parallel with point 1.

119 thoughts on “FWOTW: homanstotheromans.org”

  1. Obviously it is The Callβ„’ for the Homans to be missionaries to the Romans.

    I guess if their last name was Hulcans, they would have been called to be missionaries to the Vulcans.

    1. I know a guy named who’s name is Steve Prussian. Would he be a missionary to the Prussians, or Russians?

      😯

        1. I’m going with the Turds should be IFB missionaries to them. I don’t know anyone with that last name, but I have to hope that there is.

        2. Dear B.R.O.,
          I’m at a loss for words after seeing the video you posted. It’s the perfect family. Thanks for sharing. I’m still laughing, but I admit to a banal sense of humor.
          BJg

      1. My wife’s grandmother regularly insists that Prussians and Russians are the same thing. It’s like this whole big thing with her.

      2. Since his name actually is Prussian, a ministry to the Prussians might, at first glance seem the logical choice. However, since the region that was Prussia no longer goes by that name, and since the old Prussian language is extinct, he should probably serve in Russia.

        Following the Second World War, East Prussia was divided between Russia, Poland, and Lithuania. A better surname for a family ministering in that area today might be Dole.

        1. The Doles to the Poles and the Newmans to the humans is more along the lines of what I was thinking of, put yours works too.

          The throat singing is pretty cool, isn’t it?

        2. I love throat singing.
          I’m always fantasizing about moving to Tuva to study singing.
          My wife isn’t as enthusiastic about moving to Tuva.

  2. Is there a big expat community there? Why an English church? Isn’t it hard enough to establish one church? I don’t understand.

        1. Community doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he networks with someone or someones who can provide a soft landing spot back in the US when he flames out in Italy.

      1. I wonder if he and the family sing Fundy Cadences?

        β™« Mama, Mama can’t you see… (Mama, Mama can’t you see…)
        What the KJV has done to me? (What the KJV has done to me?)
        Mama, Mama can’t you see… (Mama, Mama can’t you see…)
        What the KJV has done to me? (What the KJV has done to me?)

        Woe, Woe, woe-oh, woe (Woe, Woe, woe-oh, woe)
        Woe, Woe-woe, woe-oh, woe (Woe, Woe-woe, woe-oh, woe)

        I got my trusty KJB… (I got my trusty KJB…)
        And I moved to Italy (And I moved to Italy)
        I got my trusty KJB… (I got my trusty KJB…)
        And I moved to Italy (And I moved to Italy)

        Woe, Woe, woe-oh, woe (Woe, Woe, woe-oh, woe)
        Woe, Woe-woe, woe-oh, woe (Woe, Woe-woe, woe-oh, woe)

        I carry Chick Tracts where I go… (I carry Chick Tracts where I go)
        To give to Catholics don’tcha know (To give to Catholics don’tcha know)
        I carry Chick Tracts where I go… (I carry Chick Tracts where I go)
        To give to Catholics don’tcha know (To give to Catholics don’tcha know)

        Woe, Woe, woe-oh, woe (Woe, Woe, woe-oh, woe)
        Woe, Woe-woe, woe-oh, woe (Woe, Woe-woe, woe-oh, woe) β™«

    1. Yes! I’m very confused by that. My best guess is that he’s using that as a way to claim he’ll be KJVO in Italy as well, but it’s really hard to imagine being successful. I doubt he has much interest in continuity.

    2. But in fundamentalism, the important thing isn’t to “look like Jesus to the world”, but to “make the world look as much as possible like me!”

  3. I am glad to know that there is someone preaching the blessed old King James in the city of Rome just like the Apostle Paul did.

  4. I’m surprised there isn’t something about personally confronting the pope and burning all the perverted Catholic bibles. Maybe Italy bans bonfires…lol.

      1. Nickel-cadmium rechargeable batteries have been known to explode so I’m sure they are banned by the airlines. But the drill bit was as dull as the user so I’m sure that poses no threat to anyone aboard a plane.

        1. They are not banned, but they are regulated. However, if they are part of a piece of equipment (e.g. laptop or sealed-device cell-phone) they are exempt. Lithium-metal batteries are significantly more dangerous than lithium-ion and have a different set of regulations.

  5. Odd–I thought that the Romans had been introduced to Christianity some time ago. Don’t they have this Francis guy who keeps reminding them of it?

  6. These missionaries aren’t sharing the gospel of Christ. They’re trying to convert people to an Americanized, Fundyfied caricature of Christianity. 😈

      1. I’m reminded of Jesus’ words, “You hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are” (Matt 23:15).

        1. YES!

          It’s a warning to any of us who decide to create our own gospel based on the works of the law, any law (including our own tradition).

          Thanks for quoting our Lord’s words.

    1. I was going to make a comment about the two oldest children. Look at their eyes. Can’t imagine what their life must be like. Prayers…

      BTW, I once bounced a tithe check. And my dad was the pastor at the time.

      1. Seriously, yes, I agree- prayers!
        HA! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† Oh my. That is hilarious, but, I can’t imagine a fun conversation followed. πŸ˜•

  7. Hmmm. Evangelize Italians by teaching them Elizabethan English? Oh, and hand them Chick tracts that insult Catholicism in general and the Pope in particular? Make the Pope out to indulge in human sacrifices and reign in a hellishly dark and evil temple?

    Jack Chick has probably turned more people away from God than he ever brought to the Savior!

    This is a mission that needs to be scrubbed. The parents should find honest work.

  8. So many thoughts…
    – I’m perplexed by Jamie’s constant use of “opening doors” in his testimony. I have no idea what that means.
    – Felt my heart sink when I read the wife’s testimony he so graciously included and noticed the wording of, “Jamie gave me the plan of salvation.” Wasn’t it Jesus who did that??
    – Finally, the “Are You Saved?” tab… Is he going to send me a New Testament from Rome? And I am very curious what literature he’d be sending as well. Perhaps just some tracts…?

    1. I’ve Heard “opening” and “closing” doors all my fundy life…I think it generally means justification for something we already wanted to do or did not really want to do based on selectively latching on to some convenient and/or arbitrary event…

      1. Ahh, thank you for clarification doc. I somehow missed this fundyism. I heard, “God’s will” and “it was a God thing” a lot.

      2. It’s also a euphemism for not taking responsibility for one’s own actions…”I wanted to start a children’s ministry, but God shut that door”. It has nothing to do with the fact that this state doesn’t let convicted sex offenders work with kids under 18.

  9. As a former fundy, discovering this site has been thrilling. I do need to say, however, that I find this comment thoroughly disgusting. I was once that kid. Had no choice, had no say… just do as Dad says or pay the consequences. Pose for the photo, wear the tie and shut up… “YES SIR!!!”

    If someone had commented on how I looked in one of my “staged” missionary family photos, I would have just died of horror. I’ve lived it, I’ve experienced it and frankly, it’s shameful to comment on an innocent kid who has no choice with what his fundy Dad demands of him. Ask yourself, does commenting on fundy kids help us in any way to save these kids from this cult…

    1. Didn’t see your comment before I posted mine above, but I agree. Let’s leave the kids out of any snarky comments.

    2. The children of people in full-time service have it rough, but I think MKs have it worst. I remember saying to a visiting MK that I wished I could live in her country; she gave me a look I will never forget and said darkly, “It’s not what you think.”

      1. A friend of mine who is a licensed marriage and family counselor once told me, “As children we are victims, but as adults we are willing participants.” Unfortunately too many children grow up failing to realize they no longer need to participate.

        1. Agreed, but with this caveat: I believe that often the wives are not really willing participants. If a woman has bought into the whole Michael and Debi Pearl school of thought on marriage and child raising, she may have her husband’s role and God’s role in her life confused. If she went against her husband, she’d be in rebellion against God.

          And rebellion, my friends, is as the sin of witchcraft. (All cults utilize mind control techniques.)

          Additionally, the wife may have gone to one of these worthless bible colleges where she paid for classes in unmarketable subjects, resulting in her having zero job skills. To leave the controlling husband would result in homelessness.

        2. Mind control techniques? or Mind Deletion techniques?

          As for rebellion ….

          There was this opening song to the last of the Star Trek series, “Enterprise.” I like to call it the Tower of Babel song. And I like it. I actually agree with its sentiments.

          I would have beaten Adam and Eve to the Tree of Knowledge had I been there. That may be confession, but it isn’t necessarily repentance.

          It’s been a long road
          Getting from there to here
          It’s been a long time
          But my time is finally near

          And I can feel the change in the wind right now
          Nothing’s in my way
          And they’re not gonna hold me down no more
          No they’re not gonna hold me down

          ‘Cause I’ve got faith of the heart
          I’m going where my heart will take me
          I’ve got faith to believe
          I can do anything
          I’ve got strength of the soul
          And no one’s gonna bend or break me
          I can reach any star
          I’ve got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

          It’s been a long night
          Trying to find my way
          Been through the darkness
          Now I’ve finally have my day

          And I will see my dream come alive at last
          I will touch the sky
          And they’re not gonna hold me down no more
          No they’re not gonna change my mind

          (chorus)

          I’ve known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
          But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
          I’ve been through the fire and I’ve been through the rain.
          But I’ll be fine.

          (chorus modified a bit)

          I’ve got faith of the heart.
          I’m going where my heart will take me.
          I’ve got strength of the soul. And no one’s gonna bend or break me.
          I can reach any star. I’ve got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart.

          It’s been a long road.

          http://artists.letssingit.com/watson-russell-lyrics-faith-of-the-heart-7xsvkwf#axzz2peMIJYCz

    3. Freeatlast, if you’re referring to my initial comment- no snark written or intended, my apologies if I triggered hurt or hurtful memories. I was writing my comment with the mobile version which does’t give me the ability to post with emoticons better conveying my thoughts. I wanted to add a πŸ™ or πŸ˜₯ after what I wrote because I felt sadness by his expression. I can’t even imagine how this affects the kid’s lives. πŸ™

    4. Dear Freeatlast (nice handle, by the way),

      I don’t think anyone was trying to snark at the kids. Rather, I think any comments about the kids was more in the line of pity than criticism or poking fun.

      I know the children go through their own special version of hell. They have no steady friendships, they are always looked at through their parents, they are expected to be enthusiastic for the ministry without any contrary thoughts or fears.

      You lived it? If you can bring yourself to telling us about your experiences and perspectives, I am sure we would all appreciate it.

      But I certainly can appreciate your being defensive for these children. They have precious few who would defend them or speak on their behalf.

      1. rtgmath,

        Good comments on your part. I need to be very careful with what I say, because I lot of bitterness and anger has been taken care of and today I really truly love and have forgiven those who did the damage. But, let me give you an example (which all will realize isn’t a made up story) – You are a 14 yr old teen boy, totally at home in a developing world jungle situation. You wear shorts and not much else, because your fundy parents act differently in your “home” country then in their home country. Every 4 years, you are yanked out of that setting and experience a total makeover. Shirt, tie, suit and everything else you are not accustomed to wearing/living/doing. The worst part is the church visits. You are already an alien in American, then it happens. The overbearing loud MOG shouts out, “Let’s have his family come up here.” Then, with a fresh case of acne, you are told to stand on a chair so the “crowd” can see a “real live MK.” Excuse my French, (also, wrong country/wrong language), but at that moment you just feel like crapping yourself.

        But, let me analyze this for just a moment. My Mom : dying a million deaths for her baby boy – but she’s never going to say anything for fear of not being submissive. My siblings – squeezing their collective buttocks as hard as possible in fear that they are next. The MOG – look how great I am, I’ve got y’all to support this motley crew, man I’m great. Then… my Dad – totally oblivious to Mom, the siblings and me… he has to be, because his lips are so far up the MOG’s butt that all he sees is… well, you get it.

        So, yeah, I’m a little touchy about how the MKs get treated. And I really didn’t think anybody was being snarky. I can just imagine what it would be like if one of these kids stumbled upon this site (and it wouldn’t be that hard with such an unusual name).

        I’m sorry this is so long, but let me finish with this. The missionary’s wife was also mentioned. Here’s how I see things – in fundy world, there are very few truly guilty individuals and a huge majority of victims. Here’s my logic – my Dad (who is loved and forgiven), controlled, manipulated and bullied us. My, Mom, a person with total free will, didn’t, in reality, have many choices. For me, this describes most of the fundy world. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself this, “How come I didn’t come out 3,6,9 months before I did?”. Wasn’t as easy as some propose it is. So, I believe in totally ripping the manipulators, the abusers and the cult leaders. But bad singers, the overweight piano player, the dorky youth leader, the creepy deacon, the strange bus captain, the over-enthusiastic visitation guy… I’ll never rip them, because they are what I once was.

        1. Freeatlast,

          You said, “My, Mom, a person with total free will, didn’t, in reality, have many choices.” If you look upthread a bit, that’s exactly what I was trying to say. Coming from a preacher’s family, I’ve come to see that my (late) mother was as much a victim as my siblings and I. It’s part of the cult, to keep the women dependent. I believe that the IFB tends to attract MoGs who have the inordinate need to control others.

          Thank you–so much–for your posting. I’ll read and re-read it.
          BJg

    1. Which is really handy when it rains. One December (the rainy season) Hubby and I were there sightseeing, and whenever it started raining we’d duck into the nearest church and look at the art inside until it stopped raining. Art is everywhere there, not just in the famous cathedrals.

  10. They want to teach English. A lot of people already know English in Italy. Wonder what the Italian Baptists think?

    He really should use a manly name. Jamie could be mistaken as a female name.

  11. Spent alot of time in Italy between 81-84 found a wonderful Christian Service Center in Naples. Travelled to Rome on a tour, and our hotel was 500 yards from St Peter’s Square. Our group had special seating for a Papal visit, but I wasn’t interested, me and a Christian buddy took a walking tour of Rome instead and had the whole city to ourself because everyone else was down there listening to the pope. I was pretty fundy in those days, but I don’t regret not seeing the pope, I still wouldn’t walk across to see him!

    1. I wouldn’t mind meeting the Pope.

      But I’m an experience junkie, and it sounds like a walking tour of an uncrowded Rome would be the better experience of the two. πŸ˜€

      1. I met and had lunch with Cardinal Chelli on my trip the Vatican (had friends that got married in one of the chapels off the main hall). Very nice man, and didn’t seem to mind too much that I would not kiss his ring.

  12. The thing at the bottom of the page says “AV 1611 Compliant.” What does that even mean? The text of the rest of his page was not in Elizabethan English. Is AV 1611 a new internet protocol I’m not aware of?

    By the way, he should be congratulated for implementing 2002 web design instead of 1997.

    1. I wondered the same thing. So I followed the link. It’s a never-ending circle of FWOTW material. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  13. On my last trip to Italy I gained 10 pounds in 8 days…I cannot imagine what I’d look like if I was there for any real length of time.

    I also hope the men are taking brown shoes with them…the Italians wear brown shoes with both gray and blue suits (but never with black).

  14. I’m not sure why they feel the need to put birthdays and anniversaries on their website, but I could avoid noticing that their first child was born 9 months and 2 days after their wedding day. Well, that’s some going.

    1. We have friends whose first child was born nine months and ten days after the wedding. We accused them of taking ten days to figure out how it was done. Perhaps the Homans were somewhat more clever.

    2. LTW,
      It’s longstanding fundy missionary tradition to list birthdays & anniversary. I believe that comes primarily from the almost-gone days of the “Women’s Missionary Society”s in local churches that would meet to pray, make and roll hospital bandages from old sheets, make crafts, gather items for the “Missionary Cupboard/Closet” and send cards/letters/gift packages to the MKs on their birthdays.

      If we didn’t list birthdays on our prayer card, people would be asking. One thing I find funny about this tradition is that for whatever reason parents’ birth years are NEVER listed. Like, send me a birthday card if you wish, but my actual age is Classified Top Secret!! Of course, token rebel that I am, we bucked THAT tradition, yessiree.

      One other reason is that back in the day prayer cards only got updated once every five years, so it was a way to recognize that an MK who looks 5 in the picture could actually be 12 or 13 before you get a new card or see the family again.

  15. My son is going to Italy and Greece as his Christmas, birthday and graduation present. I’m jealous he is going to visit the Vatican before me.

  16. In case you haven’t woken up yet. English is the universal language of the world.
    Either a missionary learns the langauge they use and then must translate it (a LOT of work)
    OR
    have them learn English.

    Is this so hard to comprehend?

    The later is PREFERRED since the people you are a missionary to now have the additional benefit of being given instruction in the universal language the world uses.

    Typically, a combination of both.

    The woman that runs this site is obviously a bitter old woman with a bur in her saddle who has nothing better to do with her life than pick on those who actually are DOING something for the Lord.

    What a WASTED LIFE!

    1. I love that you think the three biggest insults you could hurt at someone is that they are bitter, old or female, lol.

      To me, I’d say the biggest insults would be something along the lines of whited sepulcher, abuser, and liar. Maybe add manipulative, hateful and prideful in there, too.

    2. Not a bad Poe, tks. The claim that a missionary would learn the language of the country they’re ministering to & then translate back to English did hurt my suspension of belief a little.

    3. Okay, POE or not, I’ll step into this one. While the opportunity to learn English may be a draw for attracting new members, the following two verses make a pretty good case for a missionary learning the culture and the native language of the people among whom he or she is serving:

      Rev. 5:9 “And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation:”

      1 Corinthians 9:22b “I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.”

      As far as using a translation utilizing the same textual sources used by Martin Luther as well as the translators of the Authorised, there is certainly a case to be made for that. God seems to have used those source texts to great effect during the Reformation as well as during the First and Second Great Awakenings in the United States. Still, I would imagine it is possible to obtain a reliable Italian translation of the bible translated from the Majority Texts. He shouldn’t even have to do the work of translating himself since, to the best of my knowledge, the Italians already have a written form of their language.

      In complete seriousness though, this family seems to have extremely ambitious plans for evangelism– plans that would demand they know how to speak Italian. If this couple really wants to reach Italians with the gospel as opposed to merely Americanizing them, they had better be prepared to put in the hard work of learning the language and the culture.

    4. I’m calling POE. There’s no one that believes English is a universal language, and if it were a one, it’d be something the fundies should be against. Babel/one world government/beast implication wise.

      1. Actually, if you follow the “AV1611 Compliant” badge/link, you will find that those folks do just that. 😯 I guess they need to claim hat as they try to justify their extreme form of KJV Onlyism.

        You make a great point about the whole one world government thing!

    5. tks,

      Consider this quote, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” Can you imagine how you could touch somebody’s heart with the message of the Gospel by adopting this principle in your ministry philosophy. Pretty powerful, huh?

      Oh, wait, you can’t because that quote’s from Nelson Mandela and well… he’s just so un-fundamentalist, isn’t he.

    6. I’m thinking POE. There was such a big reaction when somebody came along calling Darrell “she” the other day, I think somebody is just trying to start another fuss.

  17. Let me ‘splain it for ya:

    The KJB is the inerrant, inspired word of God.

    Therefore, the word of God must be the KJB. It’s simple logic: if a=b, then b=a.

    So, if the ignorant heathen in Rome want the word of God, they will just have to learn 1611 English so they can read the KJB. What’s so hard to understand about that πŸ™„

  18. Oh dear – that picture could have been me and my family ten years ago…. brings back some rather painful (and still on going) issues that I can totally relate to FREEATLAST over. Thankfully God is working on me showing me Grace above everything else.

    1. Shipjumper,
      It’s not easy. For some the switch may be a simple and refreshing change of church. For former fundy missionaries it’s most likely career suicide. We were more fundy-lite, but our change to a mission agency that’s more open to interdenominational cooperation has resulted in a lot of dropped financial support. Families surviving on a missions salary from a more thoroughly fundy support base would have an even tougher road.

  19. So they might not like hearing how Rome already has a Baptist church? Yes, there is one or there was one when the author of Servants of Globalization was interviewing Filipina workers there. It’s basically someone’s master’s or doctoral thesis in sociology so it’s heavy on the theory and data. But the Baptist church was mentioned and I read this textbook in college over a decade ago and it was published late 90s. So who knows.

    But so totally an Italian vacation masquerading as mission work.

    As a Catholic, it pisses me off that there are so many who think we have no idea of who Jesus is and that we need saved. And then I laugh because these kinds of people fail because it’s all about fear and numbers. And I don’t believe the wife was ever Catholic and defintely not raised Catholic. She might have family that is but she wasn’t. It’s a favorite trope for those that go after Catholics. I just roll my eyes because I honestly can’t take these people seriously. And those poor kids.

    And in other news, Hell has frozen over. Hell, Michigan that is.

  20. Michael,

    It is an unfortunate reality – my parents are totally freaked at what their majority strong fundy ties might think if word gets out that ther kids have abandoned fundyism. I’ve just reached a point where my spiritual health is more important to me than keeping people that truly don’t care happy. I have encouraged them to seek support and help elsewhere but when you are so deeply steeped it’s not easy to even think let alone actually do something.

    1. Comes a time you gotta do what’s right for you and your family no matter how much Gothard harps on his “Umbrella of Authority and Protection”. My fundy missionary in-laws have survived both daughters’ defundification and one daughter’s divorce. Their support base has recognized the exemplary character of the parents and the autonomy of the kids in this case.

      Consider it an opportunity for their growth. As we wear pants, listen to that rock ‘n roll the yunksters like these days, entertain Calvinism and non-Dispensational eschatology, yet still retain evident fruit of the Spirit, their Us vs. Them paradigm, their presupposition of a self-evidently biblical fundy behavior code is inevitably challenged. My in-laws have loosened up considerably over the last 20 years.

  21. Well, I suppose if one believes that Catholics are in dire need of a good ol’ King Jamesian conversion, what better place to missionize than right slap dab in the midst of them, right there where the great whore sitteth, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.

    Do Chick Tracts come in Italian? If so, I recommend to Bro. Homan the one called “The Death Cookie.” That should go over pretty well. Nothing says, “God loves you and so do I” like a Chick Tract.

  22. This is completely nit-picky, and not just them.
    But URL names annoy me when it’s not immediately obvious what the phrase says. I read it as “homanst other mans”, which makes no sense.

    1. I think I got “homans” out of it second or third glance, but I had no idea what a “homans to the romans” was.

      I read it as
      “homanst other omans”
      at one point.

  23. KJV Onlies are STILL using that same graphic???? ❗ ❓

    See on the screen shot the small black and white image of a KJV Bible with swords crossed in front of it, and the same image is farther down the page but colorized with tones of red?

    They were using that same image on various KJV Only sites ten or more years ago. I used to see it on their sites all the time.

    If they insist on clinging to the heresy and cult of KJV Only would they please at least make some new graphics??????

  24. I’m sure they tout their KJVO stance so that they will be supported by HAC affiliated churches and colleges as well as PCC affiliates. Since they are going to convert those heathen Catholics they will have BJU affiliate support. I’d say the KJVO stance is a shrewd business move. Since the IFB can’t work together to support missionaries through a cooperative program like the SBC and some other denominations do. Maybe he was looking for Treiber’s support too. IDK

  25. I really enjoy SFL, but I didn’t like this post. I don’t think families should be the subject of SFL posts. It’s difficult enough for children of pastors and missionaries. Let’s cut the family some slack.

    1. @ S:
      The post was about the website, not the family–multiple KJV mentions, hokey URL, 1990s graphics and design, less than plausible missions strategy proudly set forth, etc.

      Pretty much everyone agrees that comments on the family themselves would be in poor taste.

  26. if your reading this the Homans have converted all of Italy and are now in North Africa. C’mon former Fundies. Toooo Loooong Wiiinded

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