59 thoughts on “Corrected Christmas Cards”

      1. To Sir Gentleman Farmer: As SFL’s Official And Original And Only Butt Cushion Couturier, I bestow upon you the coveted virtual gift of The Butt Cushion in Christmas decor, as you wished. (How overly grand was that, and why do I now feel like the Mayor of Munchkinland?)

        To Semp: It’s 2 days before Christmas, stop being so bitter.

  1. Actually it’s…

    17Euery good gift, and euery perfect gift is from aboue, & commeth downe from the Father of lights, with whom is no variablenesse, neither shadow of turning.

        1. Wait just a minute here. How did I get brought into this? I would never say such a thing.

          This plane doesn’t go to Bermuda.

        2. “I would never say such a thing.”

          EVERYBODY NOW….

          “Heeeee’s making a list, he’s checking it twice,
          He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice…”

          😉 :mrgreen: 😉 :mrgreen:

        3. Now that would bite if we blew a Disney quote out of proportion. Especially one from a movie about an old man and a young boy… wait…. mmmmm …naaaa couldn’t be…could it? 😯

  2. Wonder if this works the other way. Like, could I correct their kjv-only cards to match a more accurate translation like the esv? Or maybe I should get koine greek Christmas cards. Wonder if the Greek Orthodox sells any.

  3. Ahhh.

    If you go with the NIV, “every good and perfect gift” says that the gifts from God are both good and perfect at the same time.

    But if you go with the KJV, “every good gift and every perfect gift” might allow that God gives good gifts that aren’t perfect or perfect gifts that aren’t good!

    Of course to any intelligent person, the two phrases are equivalent.

    But to the mind of a KJV idolater, those who think that “every word” means every individual word, the individual words are too precious to think about the actual meaning of the passage.

    It is a pity.

  4. I once had to edit a Christmas play for an American military chapel overseas which directly quoted Bible verses because they were in the NIV. Line by line. I justified it as “keeping everyone on the same page.” In reality, I just knew that my dad, who preached for this chapel, would blow his top if we presented anything but the KJV. I spent quite a few hours rewriting the script. Dad was none the wiser.

  5. Probably in reaction to this sort of thinking, I haven’t really sent out Scripture-themed Christmas cards in years. Having our Christmas cards censored by fundy relatives is a rather joyless matter.

    One year I sent out cards with a cartoon of Santa with his pants around his ankles sitting atop a chimney. That was my favorite.

    1. So, in other words, if the Bible verses in your cards do not read as they do in the KJB, the fundies take that as you not being truly of Him. Is that correct? That seems to be the impression that I’m getting.

  6. KJV-onlyist graffiti taggers strike again!

    What! Do fundies buy so many KJVs that they ran out of enough dead trees to manufacture their own KJV Christmas cards?

    I thought fundies were big on entrepreneurship and the American way. You’d think they would have already marketed their own line of Christmas cards!

    Oh, I’m sure there are probably a few of these KJV Christmas card brands out there. Then, why don’t all of the fundies patronize them?

    1. Well, perhaps instead of producing profane bumper stickers and white signs with bold black lettering, they could produce some fine fundy yuletide cards of their own.

      Heck, they could even stick a “YOU LIE!” and other anti-Obama bumper stickers in the card for good measure.

    2. I once taught at a Christian school that sold Christmas cards as a fundraiser. The main selling point of the cards (terrible artwork and cheaply made) was the promise of only KJV verses in the cards.

    3. Instead of “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,” Fundy Christmas cards say things like, “O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?”

  7. Just checked my Greek interlinear (not that a fundy would do that) and the KJV is a better translation, as there are two nouns in the sentence. The literal translation given is (putting the adjectives before the nouns)

    Every good giving and every perfect gratuity perfect is from above, descending from the father of-the lights…

    But to correct the NIV is petty.

    1. It depends upon your definition of “better” as to a translation. The KJV tends to be wooden and literal whereas the NIV uses dynamic equivalence. The translation of idiomatic expressions, if done in a literal way, is sometimes nonsensical.

      For example, the Spanish expression “me quemo las cejas” literally translates “I’m burning the eyebrows.” This makes no sense to the English reader. A translation using dynamic equivalence would view the idiom as one unit, and would translate it into the equivalent English idiom, “I’m burning the midnight oil.”

      This has little to do with the passage under discussion, except to illustrate my belief that more literal is not always better.
      Regards,
      BJg

      1. Good points. In English, the problem with the double noun translation is that it leaves open the possibility that God’s gifts can be either-or instead of both-and which seems to be the author’s intent. In this case, I think the point is moot since anyone with half a brain could figure either translation out.

        1. Modestly, can I just say, that I LOVE your name? And, I’m very jealous that I didn’t think of it first.

  8. An incident about 30 years ago makes a point. I had gotten married in North Carolina, and took my wife on honeymoon across the country to Washington State to meet my family.

    To those of you thinking, “She hadn’t met your parents before marrying you?”, good thinking. Remember, I was a fundy and was here breaking a cardinal fundy rule!

    But my wife had gotten me a copy of the New American Standard Version of the Bible for her wedding present to me.

    During our stay, my youngest sister saw me reading the NASV. She called me a heretic. Yes, she used the word. I wasn’t using a KJV, and EVERYBODY knows how these other translations pervert the Scriptures to send people to hell.

    So I asked her to find a verse that she thought was wrong in the NASV. She went and got her literature and mentioned one. I opened it up, read it aloud, and asked her how that meant anything different from the KJV rendition.

    She ran off screaming that I was trying to destroy her faith.

    KJVism is nothing more than idolatry. It is putting trust in the wrong thing, in a version of the Bible and not in Christ.

    1. “She ran off screaming that I was trying to destroy her faith.”

      😯 wow…
      Hopefully she turns from her idolatry, and turns to the Living Word.

      Your story reminds me of the commonly repeated nonsense that the “Modern Versions” diminish or remove the divinity of Christ. Next time any KJVO says that tell them to read John 1:18 or Romans 9:5 in the NIV, or ESV or even the NLT and promptly declare their argument invalid. 🙄

      1. Well, we had several days on the road. The Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, the Rockies, flat tires, car trouble, the works.

        I have to admit that my folks were not much to make a honeymoon of. It probably was better as a comparison of what I was getting away from!

  9. This is brilliant! The perfect Christmas gift. Not only does the recipient of the card know the person sending the card has thought of them this Christmas season, but also that the person sending the card is concerned for their eternal soul as to not allow the corrupted version of the Bible to do damage to their soul.
    It says “Merry Christmas” and “I’m a self righteous idolator” all in the same breath.
    Although, I have to question the financial support of a card company who uses something other than the KJV.

    1. My old fundy church used to sell packs of Christmas cards with KJV versus in them, so one didn’t have to spend money on the “wrong” ones and correct each one. They were normal Christmas cards, but they just found a distributor that only printed KJV verses in them.

      It was about preserving the KJV, of course, not about the money for them… Even though they were overpriced, but still….

  10. All you ppc-ers remember when the administration there wasin the height of the kjv-only debate with bju? They were producing those absurd videos “the Levin in fundamentalism” and forcing the student body to watch them constantly. Well a funny thing; you could go to their campus book store and buy little cards like these. You had to be there to understand the irony, Darrell can attest.

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