160 thoughts on “Many Meetings (With Prizes!)”

    1. Perfect clip!

      According to “Dr.” Greg Neal’s bio, his BS degree (bachelor’s of science–what did you think I meant?) was earned at HABC.

      While attending Hyles-Anderson College, he earned a Bachelors of Science degree in August of 1996. Upon graduation, he served faithfully in the ministries of Berean Baptist Church in Fleming Island, Florida. During this time, he was honored with a degree of Doctor of Divinity from Berean Baptist College.

      After which carefully recorded graduation date he apparently completely skipped earning or being honored with a Master’s degree of any sort and went straight to Dr. A battlefield promotion maybe (my apologies to deserving servicemen)? There is an optimistic link on the Academics page called “Graduate Programs”, but it doesn’t actually link to anything.

      Memorable takeaways from Berean Baptist College’s Philosophy page:

      Dormitories with private showers and changing areas are built and available for student privacy.

      Meh? I’d just use the President’s office. It’s not like he’d peek or anything, right?

      God does not place every young man and lady in a ministry of great size.

      Memorable because it’s the only mention of God in the entire college philosophy page. Worse still, neither Jesus nor the Bible even rated that much attention. Holy Spirit? Fuggedaboudit!

      Looks like there were 6 in the 2013 graduating class in this particular Backyard Bible College. (No basements in Florida.)

        1. What kind of huevos must this guy have to presumably demand some semblance of academic rigor when all the while in the back of his mind he knows his graduate degrees as well as those of his staff, sheesh their very qualifications to teach, aren’t worth the paper on which they’re printed? “I got my Master’s & Doctorate by ‘serving faithfully in the church’ but we’re going to make these poor schmucks work for their Bachelor’s!”

          Another thing I wonder is what the poor guys listed last with only the title of “Bro.” In front of their name haven’t yet done to rate collecting the Dr. designation. 😯

        2. Michael (aoos), if they don’t have a fake doctorate they haven’t kissed enough hiney or covered enough scandals or preached loudly enough about whatever pet ‘doctrine’ the would-be award-givers love most.

        3. Yeah, that’s about what I was thinking, but to have the lowly “Bro.” status displayed for all to see, the Does Not Qualify cloud hanging over his poor head, when we all know the bar for the Herr Dokter designation isn’t that high at all in the first place, wow. Bro is truly low. 😯 As low as Bro is, Sis is probly even lower.

        4. Shucks, I’m sure my Dad would give me a Doctorate if I thought to ask him.
          He’s not the president of a college, but then, the Neal clan don’t have a real one.

          Maybe I’ll go for Doctor of Gumbo. I make really good gumbo.

    1. I’ll do better than that– I’ll give you an honorary degree in your own name.

      How about Master of Malarkey? Doctor of Dissimulation? Bachelor of Bat Guano?

      Guaranteed to be worth some fraction of the value of the paper it’s written on.

  1. more man of gawd worship….awesome. I better fill my quota of 2,399, 455,322,977,320 souls saved before I go so I’m at least a little worthy. Oh, wait! I can count the people I waved at at Walmart! Awesome, I’m good to go.

    1. My first thought was “that can’t be PCC, they don’t use a B, maybe it’s BJU”. I’m unfamiliar with Berean, but I do think they mimic’d that logo.

  2. (1) NT Christianity? Was there OT Christianity that I’m not aware of or some other Christianity that I’m unaware of? Maybe contrasting JW/Mormon Christianity vs NT Christianity? I’m not sure what the 7 enemies of NT Christianity are, but I’m going to guess you gotta start doing some derivative work to get them.

    (2) “Planning, Preparing, & Executing a Salvation Sunday”. Seems like you should probably use a different term than executing there, although I get the definition they are using. Women need not attend you aren’t capable of executing a “Salvation Sunday”.

    (3) What Great Men Taught Me About Church Building. I thought this was on what the Bible taught about Church Building?

    (4) Influence of Emerging Church on IFB. Also unclear how the Bible speaks directly to this or most stylistic choices a church makes.

    (5) Building Your People Through Preaching. I think I can see how you would actually get that out of the Bible, although I’m going to assume they mangle it.

    (6) Dangers & Pitfalls of CCM. Completely exegetical, not even trying at this point in the conference to put on a front of concern on whether the Bible says it or not.

    1. “Building Your People Through Preaching” ha didn’t even notice that.

      Their preaching is atrocious, Tom Neal’s especially. Almost everything is out of context, promises are “claimed” that were specific to one person/event, or there just isn’t any Bible at all beyond one verse read at the beginning. Paul’s epistles are touched on briefly, if at all, and every sermon and verse can be turned into a loyalty to pastor, soulwin-till-you-drop mentality. No love, precious little God.

      And certain family members wonder why I left….

      1. Confirmed! I’m not saying they are doing it, but ideally good preaching would build/edify people, and is a good goal, I’m 100% certain they aren’t living up to that title, but at least the title isn’t unbearably off.

      2. I guess the first principle of “Building Your People Through Preaching” would be:

        How do you know if/when “your” people are being “built”? (I’m guessing that their wrong answers would be: total loyalty to the pastor; they go soul-winning until they “get” one or two)???

        They are not “your” people; they are God’s people, and you will give an account for your treatment of them.

        Pastors fail when they think it is their job to build people. Preach the word! The Holy Spirit will use that to build His own.

    1. It doesn’t matter. The only purpose of this kind of gathering is for preachers to stand around congratulating each other. It’s nothing but an (insincere) mutual admiration society.

    2. They are truly blind. They give an automatic stamp of “Biblical” approval to whatever ploys and techniques they like and condemn whatever they don’t.

  3. It’s a good thing that bus ministry gimmicks, tacky posters promoting preachers acting like gangsters, and cheers of fawning adulation, are unchanging principles found in the word of God, and worth building a ministry on.

    1. So, did the Apostle Paul say whether women in the bus ministry were allowed to drive or not? Kid you not- a church I used to go to had a knock-down, drag-out fight over it. Stooopidest thing I ever saw.

      1. Of course women aren’t allowed to drive. Don’t you know that the scripture says that a woman can’t have authority over a man? The driver of a vehicle is in charge of where that vehicle goes, thus they are in authority.

    1. My favorite Fundy credential was on a Web Site of the Week featured here. The pastor’s bio said “Pastor Blotto [or whatever his name was] is not a college graduate, but he has memorized dozens of Bible verses.” 😐

      1. Dozens?

        I know a lovely lady who’s memorized entire books, and doesn’t claim anything special for it (certainly not a pastorship for nothing more than being able to spout some verses). Your serve, sir.

        1. Books of the Bible, that is. I’d blame George, but I think the fault here is all on me. πŸ™‚

  4. *jumps up and down excitedly*
    That’s my old church!

    Emphasis on the old. As in, former. No longer go there. And kind of hate you for reminding me πŸ˜‰

    They wouldn’t know how to build a church the Bible way, so I feel safe not attending πŸ˜› Just the fact that John Hamblin will be there means his slots will have no Bible, along with both Neals. Terry Sellars will be solid, from past experiences anyway, and no idea about the others.

    But there will be lots of back-patting, and a TON of ranting on modern churches and their awful music, standards, Bible translations, etc etc etc. The whole thing will be one holier-than-thou session. “Lord, I thank thee that we are not like other churches.”

    1. Glad you’re out of there, Easterlily241; my respect for any preacher that will preach with or support Greg Neal is minimal. The man is a video voyeurist, and got away with it due to a legal technicality. God will work against them until they purge the evil from their midst.

  5. I think the worst part of this is the fact that nobody seems to be focusing on the Gospel. Where is the good news? Its so reactionist that it doesn’t look forward to hope but just how anything modern is evil.

    I have heard about 4 of these guys preach before. I could not stand to sit through another. It is a graceless, Christless theology that they espouse and at times is heresy.

    I pray that those who listen to them see the truth in Christ!

      1. Greg Neal was clearly guilty; the authorities stated in their summary of the case that the evidence was “overwhelming”; however, because the statue of limitations had passed, no legal action could be taken.

        Tom Neal promised to get to the bottom of it, but nothing has been done except to sweep it all under the rug and preach an us-versus-them mentality, attacking all who disagree.

        I like the deacon who first brought the story to light, who stated that although he loved Tom Neal, he loved God more and could not stand by while Greg Neal was elevated to pastor with this sin in his background.

      1. No, you silly people. These Mogs are fully qualified to grant doctorates. You simply have to follow the Trail of Stethoscopes all the way back to Dr. Luke.

      1. No! It’s my quotation! I can prove it.
        * printer sounds
        See! Here’s a printed document proving this to be true! It’s mine, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

        1. Yeah, I’m not sure if that’s just a coincidental name or a reference to Field of Dreams, and was curious.

  6. “Building a Church the Bible Way.”

    – How to have night meetings in barns after the slaves’ duties are over!

    – Keep your members from dying by falling out of a loft!

    – Learn to sing without hymnbooks or a piano!

    – How to travel to other churches on foot and by boat!

    – Leading a church without taking a salary. Paul’s New Testament example.

    – Martyrdom 101. How to die joyfully in the Colosseum without complaining about the lions.

    – Missions without deputation. If the Holy Spirit says go, then go Now!

    – Doctrines evolved after the New Testament — How to let these go and deal with uncertainty.

    – Churches without Bibles. The New Testament Church did not use Bibles. The Apostles and Writers of Scripture sent circulating letters, but otherwise, Scripture was usually memorized portions of the Torah and the Prophets.

    Any other suggested topics?

    Honestly. There are no New Testament churches nowadays. Certainly not built the New Testament way!

    1. Also, there was no separation from other denominations, no building projects, no committees on decorating the sanctuary, no trinitarian understanding of the God-head, no discussion of whether communion was in commemoration, trans-substantial, or con-substantial….

    2. Easterlily241 said in this page, “Lord, I thank thee, that we are not like these other churches.” I believe her point on Luke 18 are the most clear words of rebuke by Jesus, the Lord, toward such arrogance.
      Oh that we would be so broken to not even look up to heaven, that we’d beat our breasts, and say, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”
      This truth along with your explanation of what the true bullet points would have more likely looked like, should cause these men called doctors to cry out for mercy. I am afraid that isn’t likely to happen. They will continue with their foolish, life destroying, self exalting games.

  7. Poor Becky Neal… She is scheduled as a speaker at least twice, and yet I don’t see her photo in the rogue’s gallery on the right. Is it because she’s not a “doctor”? Maybe she’s only a nurse? Or an EMT?

    Oh, wait!! Maybe it’s because she’s a woman!?!

  8. Jesus Christ doesn’t even get an Honorable Mention for this conference. Usually, at the very least, they put a tag about “Christ Honoring” Music. I guess they were too excited about themselves to remember Christ for this one. I mean who’s Jesus when you have this All-star lineup?

      1. Someone needs go to and tell these superstars that they need to correct that and thatone of them needs to bestow an Honorary Doctorate on Jesus so he can be included in these little Ego Orgies.

  9. The church that this college sprang from declared bankruptcy in (I think) June 2011.

    The Pastor (Greg Neal) was accused of secretly video-taping college-aged girls using his office for a changing room. Although the evidence was “overwhelming”, the statute of limitations had passed.

    Speakers who would appear with this man on a platform are not worthy of support. I dislike the fact that the Sword of the Lord supports them; as does John Hamblin, and Justin Cooper. (these are the speakers I heard of).

    A deacon in the church couldn’t take it when Greg Neal was promoted to pastor; after trying to work it out with the pastor, he went public to the church with what was going on. Naturally, Tom Neal had him kicked out and blackened his name. In God’s book, I’m sure that this deacon is a hero.

    Before their trip into bankruptcy, the Neal clan was pulling almost $250,000 a year in salary from the church. Quite the family business!

  10. About “Building a Church the Bible Way”:

    “The church had reached a previous agreement with mortgage holder First Bank to undergo bankruptcy reorganization. But with members leaving and enrollment down, Wednesday’s church statement said the loss of revenue made bankruptcy reorganization β€œimpossible.””

    Yep, that is about the church hosting the conference.

  11. So many awards . . “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”

    On a slightly different note, where is the “Jack Schaap Youth Mentorship Award”?

  12. I saw this in the “Sword of the Lord” recently. My first thought was, “I wonder how long it will take for SFL to find this (and have a field day)!” πŸ˜€

    1. “The Bible way” means “the way WE do it, not the way YOU do it.” In the same way, “God-honoring music” means “music we like, not music you like.”

  13. It seems strange that Greg Neal’s office was used as a dressing room. Wasn’t there a more appropriate and private space available? The ladies RR for one.

      1. Fundie Relics: like the 1611 KJV pages Sword of the Lord was giving away with super subscriptions 2 years ago and gave one to Bobby Robertson at the SOTL Conference.

  14. I find it amusing to come here and read the comments. You all sit around talking to each other about Independent Baptist claiming you used to be one yourselves. Do you not see how big of a loser you are?

    1. No, Tim; I don’t see how that makes me a “loser” – please explain.

      However…
      as I ponder what you said, perhaps I am a “loser”:

      I have “lost” the necessity of trying to please a man (my pastor), and now try to please the Lord Jesus Christ.

      I have “lost” (much of) the guilt about not doing “enough” for God so that He won’t punish me.

      I have “lost” the fear that my fellow church members are eagerly waiting for me to “mess up” so that they can advance up the chain to the “inner group”.

      I have “lost” the dread that saying anything about the “Man of God” may result in God cursing me.

      So, OK, I’m a loser – proud to have lost the above things!

    2. Let’s talk about being a “loser.”

      The big game in fundamentalism is “I’m important and you are not.” Preachers do their level best to get and keep the attention, enjoy their perks, and shame anyone who might question what they are doing and why.

      In their eyes, they are the winners, and everyone else are the losers.

      When I was in an IFB church, I saw people pretty much at the mercy of others. Some peoples’ kids were treated as special. Others were ignored. Cliques determined who was In and who were Out. And preachers could call down people from the pulpit.

      The only way not to be a loser is either to be a Top Dog in that environment, or decide not to play the Game any longer.

      And I decided not to play the Game.

      I did not become a Christian to be abused.

      So, am I a “loser” because I wasn’t tough enough to take and enjoy the abuse? Or because I objected to Scripture being torn out of context? Or because I didn’t think that lies equate to truth?

      The writer of Hebrews tells us to “lay aside every weight.” Fundamentalism was a burden I could no longer bear in my Christian life. I am a loser no longer.

      1. How does a church “re-organize under chapter 11″??

        There isn’t a lot of reorganizing” it can do… except to cut down on the exorbitant salaries of the pastor and his family.

        1. Perhaps slash bus ministry, VBS, cut back on stupid promotions, sell the parsonage, etc.

          Some churches give book allowances, retirement packages, clothing allowances, travel/lodging to conferences, mileage reimbursement, etc. All that could be decreased or eliminated.

  15. It’s so SO hard to tell this apart from a parody.

    In other words, Poe’s Law.

    Poe’s Law states:
    β€œβ€Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

  16. Ok, I really thought this was a parody – and so did Universalist Scum and FWHFM, apparently. It looks like it is real. Unbelievable. I mean, how could anyone think it was cool to receive a fake fake doctorate? Or a Bible signed by a bunch of good-ol-boys? I can’t believe this actually exists. Mind. Blown.

    1. Makes one think about who the first person to have received such an honor was. I mean, someone somewhere had to receive this by someone who didn’t have one at one time after all.

    1. You can do better than that. Ask ’em all to sign your Book of Mormon, or your Bhagavad Gita, or your Kabbala, or your copy of “Dianetics”– or maybe all of the above.

        1. You wouldn’t need that book if you were interested in the missionary position that is available.

        2. Oh don’t get me started on the college’s missions program!

          Two of the three faculty have “career” missions experience–in Canada and England!! And the classes bear this out: no foreign language requirement and not a hint of cross-cultural personal preparation nor how to approach contextualization of a biblical understanding of Church or the Christian life. What they lack, though, is heavily counterbalanced by a transparent focus on exporting an obscure, anomolous American subculture of Evangelicalism while changing as little as possible to whatever country (nevermind people group) they feel the Lord has called them.

          Free tuition the first year and 75% reduced the next three? What?! “You get what you paid for” has never been more true.

          That’s MY missionary position.

  17. Lou Rossi, one of the speakers, is an interesting fellow. He had/has a “revival” ministry though I see he has now taken a church. I attended one of his meetings and I found he enjoyed making jokes at the expense of women. Never went back to hear him. He lost any credibility with me. But, my oh my, his wife sure looks young compared to hIm. Anybody know her secret?

    1. How much space do you need for a copy of the 1611 KJV Bible and a copy of the Pastor’s authorized biography?

      Especially now that the co-pastor has all his porn on hard drives.

  18. Tom Neal is a freak of nature. He is a Hyle’s worshipping idolater. He is also a coward. He would have his sheeple call other fundamental colleges and pretend to be potential students and ask if they let their girls wear pajama pants to bed. Then he would attack and belittle them if they did in his filthy fundy paper. Clarence Sexton called him to confront him about his bashing and the coward wouldn’t even take his call. What a joke. He calls his school the Hyles Anderson of the south. He is a coverer of perverts sins as well. His son being one.

  19. I went to the SOTL conference today…saw Greg Neal there. Shelton was railing on about being a separatist. Then he went off on internet bloggers attacking the IFB, and said when sin happens they deal with it.. LOL

    It love how he deals with accused video voyeurs…by having them in his conference and speaking at theirs. Now that’s separation!!

    1. Larry, you need to do a write up for what you sat through today.
      You going back any this week? I could meet you one night after work and set through an evening service. Just let me know.

      1. I would love to write it up, Don! I’m just afraid these things don’t change much from year to year. The daytime sessions are really teaching sessions on specific hobby horses, like legal issues and CCM, so I could possibly get some high quality rants that wouldn’t be included in the evening messages.

        I would note, it seems that Shelton Smith is very afraid of the SBC and even more fearful of Calvinism. My theory is that people like John Piper, John MacArthur, Mark Driscoll, David Platt, etc. give young fundamentalists an alternative to the IFB.

        I was especially entertained when he commented on how fundamentalism didn’t start at the beginning of the 20th century and it has always been there. Paul was toting his KJV, wearing a suit, and listening only to “Soul Stirring Hymns”, Hey-men? πŸ˜›

    2. Did I understand that correctly? He’s saying that he & SOTL speakers are the ones that deal with sin? I always love when IFBers stake deity claims for themselves.

      1. I believe he was referring to the IFB in general. He made the point that these sins have been around throughout church history, which is true, but to say they are dealt with properly is just crap. The reason he hates on bloggers so much is that the internet has made it difficult to sweep scandals under the rug.

        Shelton did take a swipe at Schaap yesterday by inviting people to look at his own text messages because he has nothing to hide.

  20. Wish I could, Don. I’m in Greensboro for a family visit, and I can’t make it to the evenings, but I wanted to go to a couple of daytime sessions to hear them rant on hobby horses.

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