A Poem For The End of Days

This little psalm of fundy hope and encouragement came from the Facebook status of Bible Baptist Church of Port Orange, FL. I hope it’s a blessing to your heart, health to your bowels, and a swift kick in the pants (or culottes if you’re a lady).

Twas the night before Rapture,
And all through the land;
Not a soul could be stirred,
Not even God’s man.

The Churches were filled,
With social events;
With rock and roll music,
And much money spent.

They threw out the Hymnals,
And changed the Old Book;
Lived purpose filled lives;
But God’s Word they forsook.

Yea preachers preach sermons,
With words so discreet;
They download their outlines,
And on them put meat.

They mince all their words,
From beginning to end;
But preach against sin,
We dare not offend!

The Church should be relevant;
You hear them all say;
Not too old fashioned,
More geared for today.

With coffee and donuts,
For all who attend;
And gossip sessions,
As prayer among friends.

Playgrounds for children,
Entertainment for teens;
Just keep them coming,
Whatever the means.

Let’s feed the homeless,
And do our good deeds;
It makes us feel good,
To meet someone’s needs.

While men’s souls are burning,
yet more day by day,
For fear of offense,
Nothing do we say.

I might risk my job,
Make the boss mad at me;
If the gospel I give,
To that vile employee

Though countless will perish,
For eternity burn,
Don’t ask me to witness,
Don’t seek my concern.

To yield unto God’s Word,
I cannot, you see;
Lest one I offend,
And they wont like me.

So I’ll just wait for Jesus,
To sweep me away;
When he calls with a shout,
That grand Rapture day

When the Trump shall resound,
Translated we’ll be,
I wonder how many Are going with me.

Will my children, my parents,
My spouse next to me,
Make it to Heaven,
For Eternity?

The man at the Store,
Who I joked with today,
Will he make it to Heaven,
On that Rapture Day?

My neighbor, my friend,
My enemy as well;
Have I told them enough,
To spare them from Hell?

(- Pastor Craig Moss, 12/22/12)

95 thoughts on “A Poem For The End of Days”

  1. Let’s feed the homeless,
    And do our good deeds;
    It makes us feel good,
    To meet someone’s needs.

    Is this is wrong because…..?

    1. I wanted to stop reading when I got to this verse (if you could call it one), but I didn’t. And now I am typing angrily. Everywhere in the NT we see the church helping people, widows, orphans, hungry people, those who lost their homes and possessions due to persecution. The NT is not filled with expensive churches, bible colleges, and manicured lawns. It is filled with Christ’s church pulling their resources to help one another. Its apparent this guy hasn’t read the NT. Rant over.

      1. I think your missing the point of the poem. I think the person was trying to say that we’re doing all these good deeds but we’re not telling people how to be saved. What’s the point of saving the body if the soul is going to hell. By the way for those that don’t know the only way a person can be saved is the same way there were instructed to be saved in the book of Acts chapter 2 verse 38
        There is only one God and His name is Jesus. Not three Gods but one. The scripture is FILLED with one God verses and the book of Acts has several accounts of people being baptized in Jesus Name.
        It’s your obligation to your soul to make sure that You are ready for eternity… No one will have any excuses on judgement day.

    2. i think this ‘poet’ considers it to be wrong if it’s self serving, i.e. it’s wrong because “it makes us feel good”

    3. Fundies want the world to get worst. They want people to suffer, so it will quicken the return of their god.

    4. Let’s feed the homeless,
      And do our good deeds;
      It makes us feel good,
      To meet someone’s needs.

      Is this is wrong because…..?


      In a famous essay on his website, Internet Monk called it “Wretched Urgency”.

    5. It isn’t wrong but the souls of humanity are more important. If you have someone fed and clothed but they still don’t make heaven their home what good is it? Mark 16:15-16 says
      And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
      He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
      The souls of mankind is truly what is important. Everything else should come after. As a christian our goal should be taking as many people that we can to heaven with us nothing else.

  2. The Gospel According to Willie.

    Willie Makette that is.

    “Willie Makette to heaven?”

    Illustrated by: Hav Idonenough

    Published by: Betty Dont

  3. My mother used to say, there will be three surprises about Heaven:

    1. that those you think should be there are not there
    2. that those you think should not be there are there
    3. that I am in Heaven

    Finally –

    What an undernourished and paltry understanding of the Gospel this so called minister claims to know.

  4. I might risk my job,
    Make the boss mad at me;
    If the gospel I give,
    To that vile employee

    I don’t think it’s the *gospel* part of this that is going to risk your job & make your boss mad at you. Possibly referring to your coworker as vile just *might* be an issue?

  5. This is what you get when you combine 3rd grade writing skills with preschool-level theological understanding.

    (my apologies to 3rd graders and preschoolers)

    1. At least Pastor Moss didn’t start out with “There once was a man from Nantucket.”

      File under: It Could Have Been Worse.

      1. There once was a man from Nantucket,
        Who burned a Koran in a bucket…

  6. My neighbor, my friend,
    My enemy as well;
    Have I told them enough,
    To spare them from Hell?

    – I didn’t realize that I was the Savior of mankind until just now!

  7. “The Church should be relevant;
    You hear them all say;
    Not too old fashioned,
    More geared for today”.
    Comments like this always make me wonder if fundies existed in the 1st century would they need to be relevant to 1st century people, or would they claim the old paths of 150 years prior?

  8. “With coffee and donuts,
    For all who attend…”
    Now that’s my kind of church! At least you could stay awake for the MOG’s 1½ hour sermon.

      1. Someone is going to take this at face value, trust me, and sooner or later it’s going to show up on a fundy’s blog. 😕

    1. If you want more evidence this is a real Fundy product, follow the link to Pastor Moss’s eye-searing web site. You may want to put on a welding mask first.

    1. I’m so disappointed that the “Is Hell Real?” website he links to is no longer available. I had just settled in with my hot cider and homemade peanut brittle for some Friday afternoon fire-and-brimstone chuckles.

    2. I found some goodies elsewhere on his site, though, that were equally entertaining and revolting. Like how “the gays” should be punished with death and men who allow women to violate rules of silence in services should be beaten. Seems like a nice fellow otherwise 🙄

        1. Can’t find much of anything on the WordPress site. In fact, I got this when I clicked on the faith statement link: Forbidden

          You don’t have permission to access /page10.php on this server.

          Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

          I have no idea why access to that page would be forbidden. Also, the FB link on that page gets me this: Sorry, this content isn’t available right now
          The link you followed may have expired, or the page may only be visible to an audience you’re not in.
          Go back to the previous page · Go to News Feed · Visit our Help Center.

          I find that just as interesting.

          This doesn’t make sense: Craig Moss
          DECEMBER 2, 2015 AT 1:45 PM
          Nobody said that this was wrong, The motivation is what was being addressed…

          Motivation for what? You can’t help the homeless or feed the hungry unless you have the right motivation? Matthew 25.40 doesn’t dictate a motivation behind the deed, does it? I’m pretty sure people who haven’t eaten in days don’t care about your standards on separation and open-toed shoes. They care about food.

    3. I went to their website, the first thing I thought when I saw pics of staff members was, “he kinda looks like Jack Schapp”. Very creepy IMHO 😮

      1. I’m partial to the profile pic of him standing in front of a window, trying to look sober and contemplative. In his ill-fitting suit. :mrgreen:

  9. We have coffee, donuts, a playground, rock music, and services just for teens….this guy would really hate my church. I like the swipe at Rick Warren up there, but my favorite is “the Trump”…..

    I swear I pictured that crazy-ass Donald Trump on that stanza and just busted out laughing. Heck, he “resounds” all the time but I sure don’t feel any closer to God.

  10. There is no easy way to approach this, so I will be direct: why are fundies so fascinated with something (the “Rapture”) that – according to the way I read Scripture – is not even taught in the Bible? When did they abandon a Historicist interpretation of prophecy? (A view ironically held by the KJV translators.) In my estimation, they are doing exactly what the Jews of Jesus’ time did: missing the fulfillment of prophecy before their very eyes because it doesn’t fit their preconceived notions of what it should be. I guess I shouldn’t be suprised because – as Darrell has pointed out many times – they cannot imagine that they could ever be wrong on anything.

    1. I think there is a group-think sub-culture psychology going on, similar to what one might find in cultish settings (cf. The Wrong Way Home by Deikman, or Them and Us by Deikman). Fundies receive a certain theological tradition, and must embrace it in order to be part of the “in group”. This is what happens when you call yourself a fundamentalist – suddenly, everything becomes fundamental, and if you deign to think through the received tradition, you are most likely a heretic.

      As to the rapture specifically, I have no idea how that became sacred. You’re right that it isn’t in the Bible.

      1. The ‘end times” belief system is just a giant death cult and revenge fantasy. People who believe this nonsense are really saying “My life sucks, I just Jesus to come and take me away from it all, and then torture and kill all the people that are more successful and happier than me”.

        1. Actually, it’s the Ultimate Escape Fantasy followed by the Ultimate Revenge Fantasy.

          And has exactly the same plot summary as Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. And masturbates its target audience in exactly the same way.

          1) Persecution of the Righteous — the Righteous (those Just Like You, Dear Reader) are outnumbered and oppressed by the Unrighteous (the Other). When it is actually the Righteous (Just Like You, Dear Reader) whose presence and existence is staving off the apocalypse.

          2) The Escape — a mysterious Messiah figure spirits away the Righteous (Just Like You, Dear Reader) to a secret Place-of-Refuge Paradise where the Righteous (JLY,DR) will wait out the Apocalypse.

          3) The Revenge — without the Righteous (JLY,DR) to keep things going and stave off the Apocalypse just by being, the world ends in a horrible meltdown of destruction.

          4) The Payoff — once the Unrighteous have self-destructed and/or been smitten down never to rise again, the Messiah figure leads the Righteous (JLY,DR) from the Place of Refuge to Inherit the Earth that has Rightly (and Righteously) been Thiers. Forever.

          Left Behind and Atlas Shrugged —
          twins separated at birth?

    2. The rapture is a perfect tool for their manipulation toolbox. It instills the fear of being “left behind”. It is used to instill guilt into each “believer” not doing enough to save their “enemies” or “vile co-workers.” (What a loving way to view non-believers.) It plays to their ego of being the only true believers and the ultimate confirmation of their being truly separated from the world. The rapture is a perfect example of their habit of taking individual verses out of context and constructing their own systematic “theology”. The rapture is also the ultimate man-centered vengeance on those vile unbelievers – since they did not accept the fundy God and Standards when they had a chance, they will get their just rewards during the tribulation (not to mention hell).

    3. It largely has to do with a “plain” reading of Scripture. This type of reading is easier (although often horribly wrong), particularly regarding prophetic writings.

      This is reinforced because “suddenly” the Bible becomes relevant to today’s culture and every news story becomes part of the puzzle you use to solve the Bible code. It also reinforces an “us vs them” dynamic that is the default for most of us.

      Additionally, some people default to it thinking “more Scripture reading” = “better Scripture reading”. If one follows this hermeneutic, one quickly categorizes (i.e. separates) certain things (e.g. Israel/Church, dispensations, Kingdom of God/Kingdom of Heaven, etc) and this separation forces a particular type of reading, particular once you start getting into the apocalyptic literature.

      In short, by making the Bible “more understandable”/easier to read along with showing “clear” connections between the happenings of today with the writing of the Bible drives the popularity of dispensational theology. Of course, the slippery slope to this is a shallow (and often false) understanding of Scripture and a bent towards anti-intellectualism, particularly when the intellectuals are contradicting what the Bible “plainly” teaches.

      For more, read Scandal of the Evangelical Mind by Mark Noll. It’s a book every “American Christian” (or those influenced by “American Christianity”) should read.

      1. Fundamentalist “plain reading” of prophetic writings is infuriating. What do the prophets plainly say? They say, You people are making a mockery of the law courts, you sell justice like any other commodity, quit it and repent. They say, God told us to tell you that all this pomp and circumstance at worship is useless, even the liturgy I Myself set out for you is useless, because to you it’s just that thing you do on holy days and the rest of the time you are cruel, greedy, violent, and arrogant. They say, Woe to you who build up your possessions by making the poor poorer.

        But the fundamentalist’s “plain reading” of all of this is, “Yea, behold, in the year 19xx–I mean, 20xx–it shall come to pass unto the holy people of the United States of America, but only the really holy subset of heretoforesaid holy people, that they shall get a front seat at the arena match in which their side gets to openeth the almighty Canne of Wuppasse upon all those who do not think they are All That.”

        Plain reading? Oh bullcrap.

  11. I’ve said it before but here it is again:

    As Catullus said of the poetry of Volusius “There they are, the poems of Volusius. Poetry so bad the gods will have a merry laugh when they see the offering made to them”.

    1. Volusius = Vogons? Could it be that’s where Adams got his Vogons from, or is it just wild coincidence that the names are so close? :mrgreen:

    2. Every generation has its terrible poets. Catallus’ had Volusius; mine had Rod McKuen. Lord Byron wote “The Vision of Judgment,” a hilarious demolition of Robert Southey, who was Poet Laureate at the time.

      (Southey actually wasn’t quite as bad a poet as Volusius or McKuen, but he is remembered now more for Byron’s lampooning of him than for anything else.)

  12. The first thing I felt upon reading this is “He doesn’t have much of a view of himself, does he?” s/o

    Seriously, I know he’s putting down all other churches. I hate it when a pastor thinks he’s doing it right and everyone else is doing it wrong. 🙄

  13. The snide remark about feeding the homeless really cheesed my grits. (My poetry is bad too)

    Twas the night before Jesus came
    and all through the bog
    not a creature was stirring
    not even a Mog

    The hungry were stashed
    under bridges without care
    in hopes that Jesus would believe
    that we don’t see them there

    After a service where “its” on
    Occasionally we feel quite bold
    We invite them to ride our buses,
    Give them a tract to read in the cold

    They are mostly all drunks
    not worth our time
    Don’t waste God’s money
    Don’t give them a dime

    We sit cozy in our churches
    Our righteousness we hone
    As we scream “bootstraps!”
    To the lost and alone

    As we wait to meet Jesus
    We sit idly on our hands
    By outreach we steal sheep
    From slightly different bands

    We say we wait for Jesus
    so ignorant and so blindly
    For He said, “If you do it to
    The least of these you do it to Me

    Jesus came to our town today
    Hungry, thirsty, naked, a stranger
    But we sent Him away
    “you know how those people are, a danger!”

    In Matthew twenty five
    God tells us He will be pleased
    By the Bible Colleges we built
    and the Mog’s palms we greased

    We are fundy and proud!
    we have soulwinning and run buses!
    We leave all that social gospel junk
    to those sorry Catholic cusses.

    1. “cheesed my grits” — love it! Gotta start using that one. Loved your poem, too.

      Totally off-topic, but gotta share this for Bama Man. Bama Man, are you out there? Just learned this new Bama Prayer:

      Hail Mary, full of grace, put Notre Dame in second place.

      (OK, for penance I will say three Hail Marys. ROLL TIDE!)

    2. That’s exactly how I was raised – with so much opposition to the social gospel and a vehement denigration of anyone who dared feed the hungry. Yet I was left with an uncomfortable feeling every time I read Mt. 25.

      This year our church went into the city on Christmas Day and handed out practical packages of needed items to the homeless. We did it in the name of Jesus.

      The fundies did teach me to follow Jesus and not mind if people mocked me. So now I follow Jesus by obeying His injunction in Mt. 25 and it’s the fundies’ mockery that I must disregard.

      1. The problem with the Social Gospel is it can drift into a “Gospel without personal salvation”.

        And the fundy reaction to it drifts into a “Gospel of Personal Salvation and ONLY Personal Salvation”.

        Both are badly out-of-balance but in opposite directions and at each other’s throats like a Hegellian Thesis and Antithesis. Both Utterly Certain of their own Righteousness. Like Karl Marx and Ayn Rand, funhouse mirror reflections of each other in eternal opposition.

  14. Oh the annual end of the year titilation regarding the upcoming new year being the possible year for the rapture! Barf. How many wasted minutes sitting in church on New Years Eve listening to people get all a tingle about the “signs of the times”.

    I will never forget when I learned that the rapture wasnt even in the Bible, but created by some drunk Anglican and picked up by Schofield. Was also disappointed to learn that the reason they are so pro-Isreal isn’t because they really care about the Jewish people, but because they believe Isreal needs to exist for Christ to return. This study was done by my wife’s youth pastor, http://www.ingodstime.com/

    1. Yom Kippur War Rapture Scare, 1973.
      Comet Kohoutek Rapture Scare, 1974.
      Rosh Hashanah Rapture Scare, 1975.
      Jupiter Effect Rapture Scare, 1981.
      “88 Reasons” Rapture Scare, 1988.
      First Gulf War Rapture Scare, 1991.
      Y2K Rapture Scare, 2000.
      Mayan Calendar Rapture Scare, 2012.


      It is now 2013.

  15. Twas the night ‘fore the Rapture,
    And all through the church;
    T’was the Watchnight service,
    With the M-O-g on his perch.
    IFB Churches were filled,
    for this blessed event;
    Sweat would be spilled,
    Preacher Boys would be spent.
    They clutched their old Hymnals,
    And clung to the Old Book;
    The Landmarks went over;
    No Old Path forsook.
    Like Derby Day Horses;
    Preacher boys at the ready;
    Who’ll be called up first,
    Their palms are now sweaty.
    With whooping hollering,
    Someone gives a shout;
    Young Billy’s called up,
    To try his text out.
    No one remembers,
    The text that he used;
    But they’ll never forget,
    When he kicked off his shoe.
    When the PB’s were finished,
    Having preached with such might
    The Pastor stood up
    At a quarter til Midnight
    The immaculate sermon,
    The M-O-g did prepare;
    The spirit did move him,
    ‘tween his pulpit and chair.
    “Turn in you Bibles,
    I’m preaching on leaven;
    And all the sin found ,
    in the old 1611!”
    He preached with great fervor
    He preached with True Grit
    Everyone in the front row,
    Was covered with spit.

    ‘Tis the end of my story
    ‘Tho this poem could go on
    I shorten it for your sake
    Hope you like it, Love Don

  16. I don’t know what this says about me, but I was too distracted by the all-around badness of the poetry to notice the poor theology until my second read. I believe the death of creativity is already a sign of toxic faith.

  17. What a lack of both charity and logic.

    I had to take it apart.

    “Not a soul could be stirred, Not even God’s man.”
    *False assumption. The author doesn’t know the state of people’s hearts.

    “The Churches were filled, With social events;”
    *IFB churches have lots of social events too; I guess theirs are approved though just because they’re theirs.

    “With rock and roll music, And much money spent.”
    *Oh, you mean music that sounds a lot like it matches the description in Ps. 150? And IFB churches spend money too.

    “They threw out the Hymnals” *Because of course there’s a Bible verse that says you have to use hymnals to be godly

    “And changed the Old Book;” *Here’s the slap about not using the KJV.

    “Lived purpose filled lives; But God’s Word they forsook.” *A knock against Rick Warren and an unfair assumption that people trying to live by “A Purpose-Driven Life” are forsaking the Bible. I’ve actually read that book and it does NOT forsake Scripture.)

    “Yea preachers preach sermons,With words so discreet;” *They should be careless and intemperate with their words instead?

    “They download their outlines,” *This sounds slanderous to me, accusing other pastors of plagiarizing sermons without proof.

    “And on them put meat.” *A fundy pastor complaining about a sermon with meat? We are supposed to have the meat of the Word. It’s just a really weird word to choose because the context of meat in Scripture is positive.

    “They mince all their words, From beginning to end;
    But preach against sin, We dare not offend!”
    *Of course, they have their own lists of pet sins and get mad when preachers don’t preach on those things EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT IN THE BIBLE!!!

    “The Church should be relevant; You hear them all say; Not too old fashioned, More geared for today.”
    *This is a typical fundy attack, but it’s nonsense. Of COURSE we should address today’s culture not a world that existed 20 years ago.

    “With coffee and donuts, For all who attend;”
    *Nitpicking. Nothing wrong with coffee and donuts. And isn’t having a fellowship meal after the service pretty much the same thing?

    “And gossip sessions, As prayer among friends.”
    *I’m guessing this is a slap at small groups. The self-righteousness here is ironically nauseating since gossip disguised as prayer request is common in fundy churches too.

    “Playgrounds for children, Entertainment for teens;
    Just keep them coming, Whatever the means.”
    *Sort of like bribing kids to ride the bus with candy and the promise of adults swallowing goldfish? Again, if WE do it it’s OK; if THEY do it, it’s bad.

    “Let’s feed the homeless, And do our good deeds;
    It makes us feel good, To meet someone’s needs.”
    *The mockery here disgusts my spirit, probably because I swallowed it for so long. Most Christians I know who feed the needy do so out of a sincere love for Christ and a desire to obey His commands in Scripture.

    “I might risk my job, Make the boss mad at me;
    If the gospel I give, To that vile employee.”
    *Others pointed this out, but, wow, what an uncharitable view of the lost. Hate the sin, hate the sinner.

    “To yield unto God’s Word, I cannot, you see;”
    *His assumption is that people are refusing to obey God’s Word unless they witness the exact way he does, which is confrontational.

    “So I’ll just wait for Jesus, To sweep me away;”
    *This contradicts what he said earlier; it doesn’t seem like people are just WAITING for Jesus if they’re out doing good deeds and helping the needy.

    “Have I told them enough, To spare them from Hell?”
    *For many people, it’s not a matter of not telling; rather it’s an issue of not LIVING the Gospel, of not showing love and forgiveness and grace and mercy and humility and respect and compassion. A lot of people, certainly here in America, have heard of Jesus and salvation but they reject it because they haven’t seen it make a difference in the lives of Christians who are arrogant and mean.

      1. That pathetic excuse of a poem is ridiculously long, thus, your dissecting of it had to be just as long. Please don’t apologize, you’re spot on! Thank you for your discerning insight.

      2. Bravo, PW! And I have seen the same attitude of okay when we do it, bad when you do it, too. Kinda makes your head start bobbing after awhile!

    1. it makes me think, he’s not really attacking mainstream evangelicals or mainliners. Allow me to get a little psychological here, but…

      Often a lot of this kind of protestation and villification is ACTUALLY a reflection of a certain self-loathing. We hate the things we hate about ourselves. Which makes sense here, because the things he’s railing against are a mishmash of conservative fundy traits along with liberal mainline traits.

      Or maybe he’s just a simple misanthrope, and hates everyone.

    2. Your foolish replies and comments to half statements reveal you lack of ability to critique a poem, a poem that was posted to my facebook page for kicks . I won’t answer all of your comments because my first comment will subdue most of your charges.

      1. I do not consider myself a “Fundie” as I do not agree with many of their self made rules and their cheapening of the gospel with foolish games and entertainment.

      2. You can know the condition of a man’s heart by the actions of his flesh.

      3. Rock music is the devil’s music, it is based upon a back beat that even the musicians who came up with it admit that it is satanic.

      4. Hymnals contain Hymns… remember… Singing to yourselves in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs…”

      5. Naturally I am a KJB believer, and certainly not ashamed of it!

      6. Rick warren nauseates me with his effeminate form of churchianity. We are not here to live “Purpose-filled Lives” we are here to win souls, and it is through the preaching of God’s Word that souls are saved, Romans 10:17.

      7. I was not called to be discrete, but bold. discretion is a good way to live, and biblical, but not to preach (2 Timothy 4:2)

      8. I know many, especially in the “Fundy” circles who do download their sermons, and admit to it. I have seen enough sermon outline books on bookstore shelves to make me sick. If God can’t speak to His man, than His man ought not speak either.

      9. There is nothing wrong with meat, you took half of a statement as most poor critics do, and made an irrelevant comment about it.

      10. We are supposed to preach against sin, ALL SIN.

      11. The Church is supposed to be Righteous, not Relevant. Righteousness can never be relevant to this world. That is why we are called out from the world.

      12. Coffee and donuts are no different that the candy you claim “Fundies” bribe kids onto buses with, which you seemed to be against. That is a double standard if I ever saw one.

      13. God uses His Church to do His work upon the earth, not small gossip groups, Small groups tend to divide a congregation, which is not healthy for the whole body.

      14. I feed the homeless and do good deeds, even when it doesn’t make me feel good to do it… I do it because it is the right thing to do. You again misinterpreted what I said… the emphasis was on the motivation, not the actions.

      15. In the workplace, Christians do not have to listen to the filth and vileness of the heathen around them without being able to reach out to them with the gospel. many businesses today will fire that Christian for being offensive, but do nothing about the offensiveness of the heathen.

      16. My assumption as you call it is that a person who is yielded to Gods Word will not live sinful lives, if you are living a life of sin, then you are obviously NOT yielded to God. (Romans 6)

      17. Many who are expecting Jesus to come and sweep them away on that grand rapture day will be as the 5 virgins with no oil in their lamps, and will not be ready when He comes back.

      1. Craig,

        It looks like both of us have arrived late to the party.

        While I have no interest in taking the time either to debate you or to critique your poem, I would like to make one point pertaining to your response to Pastor’s Wife’s comments, and also ask a question.

        Regarding item #14 in your response; based on the tenor of the rest of your writing, Pastor’s Wife came to a perfectly reasonable conclusion as to what you were trying to say. If there was a misunderstanding, that says more about the clarity of the writing than it does about her discernment or her abilities as a critic.

        Now the hypothetical question. Suppose I were to make a series of statements such as you would expect to hear from a vile heathen and that you were to rebuke me as such. Further suppose I were to declare that all of your criticisms were null and void because I did not consider myself to be a vile heathen. Would you accept both the logic and conclusion of my response?

        Best wishes for a Merry Christmas,


  18. And then the rapture came
    And the IFB was in shock
    For what happened then
    Was not what they thought.

    For Catholics were taken
    And the Lutherans speed of light
    And also the good old Methodists
    And the Presbys up into the night.

    All the convention Baptists
    And even people they knew
    Would come to the church only on Sunday
    And do nothing more than sit in the pew.

    So the IFBs who spend their time on earth
    Trying to work their way to heaven
    Went and found Jesus
    And asked why all this to others was just given.

    Jesus looked upon them
    With compassion in his eyes
    And said to the ones before Him
    Why do you ask all these whys?

    Do you not know from you Bible reading
    That in order to see my face
    You do not have to do all these things
    You just have to receive my Grace?

    You can not make me love you more
    No matter what you do
    You see, I died on the Cross,
    Because of my total love for you!

  19. Holy s#!t! In the article on this guy’s website entitled “Did the Bible Prophesy of the Events of September 11, 2001 he makes the statement “A good example of religious freedom being violated would be the Branch Davidians in Waco, Texas.”

    This guy is dangerous. 😯

  20. This has nothing to do with crappy poetry, but I am so excited, I had to tell someone. I have been sponsoring a girl named Elizabeth in Zimbabwe through World Vision. I am now going to ALSO sponsor Suzan from Uganda and Maria from Peru. This might piss off some people, but I am using my tithe to support them. God and I had a talk and I reminded God that the tithe is supposed to go to my local church. He said, No, it goes to me and this is where I want you to put it. I tried arguing with God once before, doesn’t go over well. So, now I have three girls to fill the childless part of my life.

  21. Doggerel like this isn’t meant to elicit an intellectual response, or even to register in the mind at all. It’s an emotional trigger for fundamentalist guilt, to keep ’em out knockin’ the doors and givin’ the tithe and obeyin’ the Mannogid.

    I can’t recall how many times I would hear guilt manipulation (Look how much JAY-ZUHS has done for you! Don’t you want to Do Something for JAY-ZUHS?)
    and “Be motivated out of Gratitude, ‘because of, not in order to’,” in the same sermon.
    So not only are you guilted into obeying, but you must feel grateful, not guilty.

    Nobody should be allowed to tell you how to feel.

    1. Doggerel is a man’s best friend
      As for “How much have you done for Jay-zuz” you really nailed it, Greg!

  22. O God of earth and altar,
    Bow down and hear our cry.
    Our earthly rulers falter,
    Our people drift and die;
    The walls of gold entomb us,
    The swords of scorn divide,
    Take not thy thunder from us,
    But take away our pride.

    From all that terror teaches,
    From lies of tongue and pen,
    From all the easy speeches
    That comfort cruel men,
    For sale and profanation
    Of honour and the sword,
    From sleep and from damnation,
    Deliver us, good lord.

    Tie in a living tether
    The prince and priest and thrall,
    Bind all our lives together,
    Smite us and save us all;
    In ire and exultation
    Aflame with faith, and free,
    Lift up a living nation,
    A single sword to thee.

    –G.K. Chesterton

  23. First of all:

    I hope you all had a safe and enjoyable pagan holiday.


    Thank you Darrell for posting this poem.

    Here is a poem the Lord sent my way awhile back:

    by: Matilda C. Edwards

    The Church and the World walked far apart
    On the changing shores of time,
    The World was singing a giddy song,
    And the Church a hymn sublime.
    “Come, give me your hand,” said the merry World,
    “And walk with me this way!”
    But the good Church hid her snowy hands
    and solemnly answered “Nay,
    I will not give you my hand at all,
    And I will not walk with you;
    Your way is the way that leads to death;
    Your words are all untrue.”

    “Nay, walk with me but a little space,”
    Said the World with a kindly air;
    “The road I walk is a pleasant road,
    And the sun shines always there;
    Your path is thorny and rough and rude,
    But mine is broad and plain;
    My way is paved with flowers and dews,
    And yours with tears and pain;
    The sky to me is always blue,
    No want, no toil I know;
    The sky above you is always dark,
    Your lot is a lot of woe;
    There’s room enough for you and me
    to travel side by side.”

    Half shyly the Church aproached the World
    And gave him her hand of snow;
    And the old World grasped it and walked along,
    Saying, in accents low,
    “Your dress is too simple to please my taste;
    I will give you pearls to wear,
    Rich velvets and silks for your graceful form,
    And diamonds to deck your hair.”
    The Church looked down at her plain white robes,
    And then at the dazzling World,
    And blushed as she saw his handsome lip
    With a smile contemptuous curled.
    “I will change my dress for a costlier one,”
    Said the Church, with a smile of grace;
    Then her pure white garments drifted away,
    And the World gave, in their place,
    Beautiful satins and shining silks,
    Roses and gems and costly pearls;
    While over her forehead her bright hair fell
    crisped in a thousand curls.

    “Your house is too plain,” said the proud old World,
    “I’ll build you one like mine;
    With walls of marble and towers of gold,
    And furniture ever so fine.”
    So he built her a costly and beautiful house;
    Most splendid it was to behold;
    Her sons and her beautiful daughters dwelt there
    Gleaming in purple and gold;
    Rich fairs and shows in the halls were held,
    And the World and his children were there.
    Laughter and music and feasts were heard
    In the place that was meant for prayer.
    There were cushioned seats for the rich and the gay,
    To sit in their pomp and pride;
    But the poor who were clad in shabby array,
    Sat meekly down outside.

    “You give too much to the poor,” said the World.
    “Far more than you ought to do;
    If they are in need of shelter and food,
    Why need it trouble you?
    Go, take your money and buy rich robes,
    Buy horses and carriages fine;
    Buy pearls and jewels and dainty food,
    Buy the rarest and costliest wine;
    My children, they dote on all these things,
    And if you their love would win
    You must do as they do, and walk in the ways
    That they are walking in.”

    So the poor were turned from her door in scorn,
    And she heard not the orphan’s cry;
    But she drew her beautiful robes aside,
    As the widows went weeping by.

    Then the sons of the World and the sons of the Church
    walked closely hand and heart,
    And only the Master, who knoweth all,
    Could tell the two apart.
    Then the Church sat down at her ease, and said,
    “I am rich and my goods increase;
    I have need of nothing, or aught to do,
    But to laugh, and dance, and feast.”
    The sly World heard, and he laughed in his sleeve,
    And mockingly said, aside-
    “The Church is fallen, the beautiful Church;
    And her shame is her boast and her pride.”

    The angel drew near to the mercy seat,
    And whispered in sighs her name;
    Then the loud anthems of rapture were hushed,
    And heads were covered with shame;
    And a voice was heard at last by the Church
    From Him who sat on the throne,
    “I know thy works, and how thou hast said,
    ‘I am rich, and hast not known
    That thou art naked, poor and blind,
    And wretched before my face;’
    Therefore from my presence cast I thee out,
    And blot thy name from its place.”

  24. [Hi Darrell. I spied this goodie on the net.]

    Pretrib Rapture Pride

    by Bruce Rockwell

    Pretrib rapture promoters like Thomas Ice give the impression they know more than the early Church Fathers, the Reformers, the greatest Greek New Testament scholars including those who produced the KJV Bible, the founders of their favorite Bible schools, and even their own mentors!
    Ice’s mentor, Dallas Sem. president John Walvoord, couldn’t find anyone holding to pretrib before 1830 – and Walvoord called John Darby and his Brethren followers “the early pretribulationists” (RQ, pp. 160-62). Ice belittles Walvoord and claims that several pre-1830 persons, including “Pseudo-Ephraem” and a “Rev. Morgan Edwards,” taught a pretrib rapture. Even though the first one viewed Antichrist’s arrival as the only “imminent” event, Ice (and Grant Jeffrey) audaciously claim he expected an “imminent” pretrib rapture! And Ice (and John Bray) have covered up Edwards’ historicism which made a pretrib rapture impossible! Google historian Dave MacPherson’s “Deceiving and Being Deceived” for documentation on these and similar historical distortions.
    The same pretrib defenders, when combing ancient books, deviously read “pretrib” into phrases like “before Armageddon,” “before the final conflagration,” and “escape all these things”!
    BTW, the KJV translators’ other writings found in London’s famed British Library (where MacPherson has researched) haven’t a hint of pretrib rapturism. Is it possible that Ice etc. have found pretrib “proof” in the KJV that its translators never found?
    Pretrib merchandisers like Ice claim that nothing is better pretrib proof than Rev. 3:10. They also cover up “Famous Rapture Watchers” (on Google) which shows how the greatest Greek NT scholars of all time interpreted it.
    Pretrib didn’t flourish in America much before the 1909 Scofield Bible which has pretribby “explanatory notes” in its margins. Not seen in the margins was jailed forger Scofield’s criminal record throughout his life that David Lutzweiler has documented in his recent book “The Praise of Folly” which is available online.
    Biola University’s doctrinal statement says Christ’s return is “premillennial” and “before the Tribulation.” Although universities stand for “academic freedom,” Biola has added these narrow, restrictive phrases – non-essentials the founders purposely didn’t include in their original doctrinal statement when Biola was just a small Bible institute! And other Christian schools have also belittled their founders.
    Ice, BTW, has a “Ph.D” issued by a tiny Texas school that wasn’t authorized to issue degrees! Ice now says that he’s working on another “Ph.D” via the University of Wales in Britain. For light on the degrees of Ice’s scholarliness, Google “Bogus degree scandal prompts calls to wind up University of Wales,” “Thomas Ice (Bloopers),” “be careful in polemics – Peripatetic Learning,” and “Walvoord Melts Ice.”
    Other fascinating Google articles include “The Unoriginal John Darby,” “X-raying Margaret,” “Edward Irving in Unnerving,” “Pretrib Rapture Politics,” “Pretrib Rapture Secrets,” “Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty,” “Pretrib Hypocrisy,” “Pretrib Rapture Secrecy,” and “Roots of Warlike Christian Zionism” – most from the author of “The Rapture Plot,” the most accurate documentation on pretrib rapture history.
    Can anyone guess who the last proud pretrib rapture holdout will be?

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