FWOTW: hylesbaptistchurch.com

If you are content to attend a church that not only reveres Jack Hyles but also actually bears the name, then I’m not sure there’s much anybody in this world can do for you.

Then again, if you church actually started with all the preaching being done by Jack via cassette tape, then I suppose it makes a sort of sense.

My favorite page on this site is the Teen Valentine Banquet which was themed as “A Night in Paradise.” Apparently, there’s a no touching rule in paradise.

179 thoughts on “FWOTW: hylesbaptistchurch.com”

    1. Awww. Those kids in the little yellow work hats are SO ADORABLE! But, if it’s like a typical fundy church, then, well, I’m very, very sad for them.

      Also, there are currently 28,281 visitors to date. I wonder what that figure will say in 24 hours time? 😈

    2. Also, I don’t know why, but being told to click a picture to go to a certain page is really, really bugging me. It’s not like the page looks bad or anything – I guess it’s just that you expect a website to be intuitive. You go to the text and look for a link, and instead it’s directing you to where the real link is hidden. It doesn’t look really ugly or anything, and it does work, but I don’t think it’s the best way to do things.

      1. I was a little concerned when I saw your comment about “clicking on the picture” as our church homepage has pictures that are links to upcoming events. However, we just have a click comment at the top, not over every picture.

        1. Sorry! It’s not like it’s bad or anything. It even looks quite nice. I just found I kept moving my cursor over the text, then seeing there was no link there, then reading the text, and then going back to the picture. But then, it’s 1am here, too. I’m tired πŸ™‚

    3. OOH. They have a guest book. That could get interesting.

      It’s a good thing nobody here is mischievous. At all.

      Off topic: My old pastor always said: “Mis-chee-vee-ous”, like it’s “mischievious” but it’s not. And it drove me batty. I can’t believe I remember that now. It’s been nine months or so since I heard him preach. How many times can you use “Mischievous” in sermons? Really?!

    4. Wow. Ok. The main page looks fairly professional. The news page has text in every size, colour, and format under the sun. Well, nearly.

      But. I have decided I will be positive, so I will mention: I saw no Comic Sans. They did well.

    5. I was going to ask who is Pee Wee Powers and why are we praying for him, but apparently it’s a children’s computer, so I guess they’re praying because they want them.

      They’ve also listed Lori Willis, and posted “we need a miracle” underneath. Unless she’s a celebrity I don’t know about or something, then maybe those SFL’ers who are christians should join in in prayer for her.

    6. I was going to say if they’re so worried about Lori Willis, then why didn’t they make her their Queen? For the November Conference thing. They made a Mrs Talley Queen instead. And then I thought that they seem to refer to adults as Mr and Mrs, so I thought maybe Lori was a child. Then I clicked on the Pastor link – and his name is Talley!

      And, I thought. WELL. Mrs Talley COULD be his mother, or his sister-in-law, or his auntie, or completely unrelated to him. I’m NOT going to start a discussion on Pastor’s Wives. I’m just not.

    1. I don’t suppose there is any Hyles worship going on here at all. πŸ™„

      Too many flashbacks after looking at their pictures of the stupid activities…I can’t believe I used to do that kind of stuff! πŸ‘Ώ

      Of course the herds of bus kids are merely important for propaganda and bragging purposes.

      1. Yeah, but seeing their pictures just makes it all so real, doesn’t it? Those are real people with real lives who are being played. It just made me feel so incredibly heartbroken.

        Mind you I was already feeling down tonight, so maybe it’s just the mood. But those kids are beautiful. And none of this is their fault.

    1. As for the church, I have no words. Just o_O and the scratching sound a record makes when the needle is dragged over it. No coherent thoughts whatsoever. πŸ˜•

      1. The pastor has an honorary doctorate given to him by Dr. Bob Gray…and they announce that like it’s a good thing. 😈

  1. This is from the pastor’s bio:

    *was given an Honorary Doctorate Degree
    July 23rd,2010 during Youth Conference by Dr. Jack Schaap & Hyles-Anderson College.

    At a youth conference? Isn’t that a professional way to bestow a degree!

    My Fundy pastor from the past had an honorary from JH and Hyles Anderson for having the fastest growing Sunday School in either the county or state, I forget which. The church doesn’t exist anymore.

  2. This is from the associate pastor’s bio:

    *was given an Honorary Doctorate Degree
    July 23rd,2010 during Youth Conference by Dr. Jack Schaap & Hyles-Anderson College.

    At a youth conference? Isn’t that a professional way to bestow a degree!

    My Fundy pastor from the past had an honorary from JH and Hyles Anderson for having the fastest growing Sunday School in either the county or state, I forget which. The church doesn’t exist anymore.

    1. And the senior pastor was given his honorary doctorate from Bob Gray. I’m assuming he’s referring to the serial pedophile of Florida Bob Gray.

      1. Hmmm, now I’m wondering if John Wayne Gacy ever gave out honorary doctorates.
        After all, he had about as much academic cred as Bob Gray or Hyles-Anderson College.

        1. You may be right, but since he was an assistant pastor from 1979-1986 in Florida I assumed that his connections would lean towards the pedophile Bob Gray. Either way it’s an honorary doctorate.

        2. The Florida pervert was arrested in 2006, so maybe the “pastor” of Hyles BC visited him in jail to get his DD (deadly doctorate) awarded in 2007.

    2. Can’t quite explain why, but the whole “Honorary Doctorate Degree” thing really irks me. I suppose it is because I have a high level of respect for those who actually EARN a PhD. My niece has earned her bachelor’s and master’s and is currently working on her Phd. She has sacrificed her most of her twenties and plenty of dough to get where she is.

      The funny thing is many who are legitimate PhDs don’t ask to be called Dr. So and So unless it is in a classroom setting etc. But these clowns insist on the title, plaster it on their website, and sign their name using the title of “Dr.” when they never earned it. I suspect most couldn’t even tell you what a dissertation is let alone research and compose one.

      Ok, got that off my chest.

      1. It allows people (like β€œDr” Cyrus Scofield) to claim a level of intellectual authority that they do not have. It’s just another form of lying.

        And you are right, it trivializes the hard work real college graduates go thru. When I was in grad school, all I did was read and write myself raw.

        1. This is so true.. I went to a meeting lead by Sam Gipp and he had Dr Gipp written on his plastic disposable cup. I have a photo to prove it, his wife seemed quite amazed when I asked where he got the Phd from.

        2. Does he have his wife and other family members address him as “Dr. Gipp,” too?

          (Voice on phone: “Hi, Mom, this is Dr. Gipp.”)

        3. Jo A! I love it. Sometimes I wish I had the stomach to visit a fundy church once again just so I could ask the likes of Dr. Ron Comfort where he did his graduate work.

        4. I still like the comment I heard years ago from a small child: “Is he the kind of doctor that helps people or the other kind?”

  3. “Living in this sinful world, it is hard to find a church that still preaches the truth.”

    Because they’re the only ones that do, dontcha know?

  4. Huge, gusty sigh. I am trying to ignore a headache hovering in the background; it is gray, blustery, and dreary here, with rain supposed to change to snow throughout the day; I have been cheering myself all morning with thoughts of Phillies spring training, longer daylight, freshly-painted rooms in my house… I just cannot go here, today. As Tiarali points out so well, these are real people, and the children break my heart, also. They are indeed being played, just like I was played, and Sims, and all the other HAC/FBC sheeple. When, I ask myself, will the poison spewed by JH in his wretched lifetime, be over? Ever? Not till Jesus returns? When? I am actually ENCOURAGED, in a sad way, that Uncle Wilver reports that a church that was Hyles-revering no longer exists. I pray those people found truth as a result. πŸ™„ πŸ‘Ώ πŸ˜₯

    1. Tiareli and you are right. I wanted to comment, and all I could think of was Wow. And then I realized (again) that the children being brought up in this system are no different from us when we were kids and it made my heart sad.
      On another note, our old pastor (the one who went to jail) tried starting up little satellite churches like this (tributes to himself) all over town. He called them “Venues” and they played video of him preaching. He had similar appeal as Jack Hyles. Oh, did I mention he was a big con-man too? Yeah. (Methinks *someone* needs to work on her discernment skills.)

      1. I think your discernment probably works just fine. You’ve simply been taught to ignore you’re gut instincts your whole life, so you probably talked yourself out of or brushed aside any doubts you had. πŸ™

  5. The valentine banquet pictures with the pastor and some of the girls are just creepy. One random shot wouldn’t have been noticeable, but multiple pictures means that each girl was expected to get a picture with the pastor as well as her date.

      1. I don’t know…my wife grew up in a Hyles church and was touched in inappropriate ways by the pastor…he would kiss the girls on the mouth? WHAT! The girls hated it but where railed on from the pulpit for not loving God if they avoided a hug or kiss. STRAIGHT NASTY…so I think many of these girls, if gross stuff is happening hated being in these pictures but just shut up and did it

        1. Yes, ours was a Hyles-church too. And I understand your point. We did too. (shut up and did it) but there were quite a few other girls EAGER to get the attention from the pastor and were hailed as prizes for their “sweet spirit” etc. Of course our pastor never had physical contact with any of them as far as I know. (Now the BUS DIRECTOR, on the other hand…)

        2. Shamed from the pulpit for not wanting to be kissed on the mouth by the pastor

          Shamed from the pulpit


          Before I started reading here, I thought that this kind of thing only went on at Papa Pilgrim’s house or other super-isolated “churches” that were really some creepy dad finding excuses to abuse his own children. But these people are everywhere. It’s an entire subculture that glorifies the sexual abuse of children and calls it Godly. How the hell did this happen?

    1. I had to check that one out for myself: yup, several shots of the pastor with the girls. Why not a pic of the pastor with the guys or with a couple?

  6. I remember a year ago or so looking up IFB churches in a certain area for someone, and how many on the list actually called themselves a Hyles church. The pastors were all graduates of HAC of course. But none of them had actually called themselves Hyles Baptist church! This is incredible. How can these people be so blind as to not know this is idol worship at it’s worst!? πŸ˜₯ It really sickens me, really. I haven’t looked at the website yet, I have to have my coffee first to fortify myself. πŸ‘Ώ

    1. Before I read the line in the text about how they played JH sermons (which only made it make a LITTLE more sense) my thought was, “HOW CAN THEY NOT SEE THAT THEY ARE WORSHIPPING A MAN, AND NOT JESUS?” and then I remembered back when I was deeply immersed in fundy-land. I realized I wouldn’t think it was that strange and might even visit that church because I would know that there would be other people “like me” there. (You know, *REAL* Christians.) 😳

      1. I remember in my fundy youth being told that Baptist churches were not named after saints, because we dont worship them. That is what those godless Catholics, Episcopalians, , and some Methodists do.

        I wonder if they have his picture right there as you walk in, with a nice spot light giving it a saintly glow?

        1. Well, if they don’t, *I* wonder if those Bibles from the seventies, with JH’s photo hugely beaming from the front page, are still available???

        1. Naturally. The cassette tapes are supposed to be for weekdays.

          I grew up listening to Hyles and Mrs. Evans for companionship whilst washing dishes or ironing.

    1. I may have mentioned them before on Twitter but I’ve never done a complete post on them that I can remember.

      On the other hand, I’m so sleep deprived that I can barely remember yesterday.

      1. Love your poor heart, Darrell! I remember those days! Tell yourself there IS a light at the end of this tunnel: it gets easier every six weeks, with an infant. I know I sound delirious, but it really is true, and I am saying a prayer right now for you both to get more sleep tonight!

        1. Is it bad that I take sadistic pleasure in the sleep deprivation of those with new babies? :shifty: Having gone thru it 5 times (a true Fundy is Quiverfull, dontcha know) & the youngest being 3 months, I kind of smirk at the complaints. I haven’t slept well for over a decade!

          Sorry. My empathy is broken. 😳

  7. I saw a picture of one of their church buses on the site. I believe it was painted exactly like the FBC buses. Prison bus Blue is what I call it.

      1. And we WERE prisoners, Sims. Dumb, brainwashed prisoners, singing happy songs like morons. Then they painted some of those buses GREEN, and those were used to cart HAC females everywhere. And we were still dumb, brainwashed prisoners, singing our happy songs, many of which were featured in a recent post…. πŸ™„

        1. Yes, but the GREEN busses had HEATERS and didn’t have HOLES in the floors. We were treated like ROYALTY in those green busses. In our bus route bus (58-7) there were holes in the floor big enough to drop the crusts of your dried up peanut butter “sandwich” (for lack of a better word)into. I know this for a fact.

        2. “Royalty” is a stretch; if I ever make it royalty status, I sure as crap do not want to be on one of those green buses. Compared to what we carted bus kids hundreds of miles on? Yes. No doubt you realize why the green buses: image. It was always image. πŸ™„

        3. You were NOT dumb prisoners, Seen Enough. None of us were. We were deceived. BIG difference. (hug)

        4. Well, that helps, marginally. I still struggle with, “Why was I not more attuned to the Holy Spirit?”

        5. I can remember times when a blue bus, overstuffed with kids, would break down on the expressway and another blue bus, (also already overstuffed) would have to go and pick up the kids who were sitting in a cold, broken bus on the expressway and take them all home, (sometimes causing the bus to have more than DOUBLE or TRIPLE its safe or legal capacity.) I wonder why they never got stopped by the cops. I wonder if someone had bribed the cops to just ignore what was going on in those crappy prison busses.

        6. I also remember how the brakes NEVER worked on our blue bus and our driver was taught how to downshift in order to slow down or stop (without using the brakes.) In snowstorms, the wipers were never adequate and it is a wonder they didn’t kill us all with their bad maintenance and “God will take care of it all” attitude.
          I also remember putting my head on the back of the seat in front of me and looking down through the holes in the floor of the bus and wondering how hard a bump we would have to hit for the whole rusted out bottom to fall out and us to hit the sludgy ground. And I remember it being cold. Very very cold.

        7. Sims, my Friend, you remember a LOT better than you give yourself credit for. I had forgotten much of this, but your beyond-adequate descriptions bring it all back. Ugh. It was so horrible, and we ran such risks, with our own lives, and the lives of those children. Life must have been very very cheap to Jack Hyles; the lives of others, that is. Just think of Vic Nischik, his family, Hyles’ wife and children… Jack Hyles: evil incarnate? Ugh. πŸ‘Ώ πŸ‘Ώ πŸ‘Ώ

        8. Remember when that little boy got killed on one of the busses (tell me if you remember it because I don’t want to go into the details to remind you if I don’t have to.) [name redacted] was on that bus that day, it was one of his regular kids… He showed up at the furniture store that afternoon with the child’s blood still on his clothes… They had to go tell the parents… It was extremely traumatic for EVERYONE on that bus. You know what JH’s take on it was? “The parents were great. They aren’t going to sue the church.”

        9. Dear God, help me to forget again… Yes, I have had horrors over that child for 35 years now. I remember how, I was three buses away, i remember the clothes, the guy, the whole nightmare.

  8. At least the pastor is somewhat honest.

    “Dr. Ron Talley *our preacher was given an Honorary Doctorate Degree September 27th, 2007 by Dr. Bob Gray”

    1. Are you kidding? He is PROUD of that degree! Why, he would rather have an HONORARY degree from one of GOD’S men than an EARNED degree from the DEVIL’S universities, BLESS GAWD! πŸ˜‰

      1. NOT TO MENTION that it either was given to him by a convicted pedophile, or by another ultra-fundy loon…. πŸ™„

  9. oh to be a passer-by during their 11:30am street preaching on thursdays! with not one but TWO doctors on staff, i’m sure that makes for some intelligent theological pronouncements.

  10. The associate pastor’s favourite verse is 2 Chronicles 7:14. Apparently he really LIVES it.

    I’m really not sure what this means. I can come up with a few theories, but I’d like to see what others think.

        1. “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

          So, I even quoted this in the KJV, just in case (!), and my question is: what is ailing his land? Because you know, in Exodus, houses could get leprosy, so I want to know what his acreage has contracted. My guess is drought. One simply never hears of leprosy these days. 😯

        2. Houses could get leprosy? I did not know that. I’m filing that under extremely interesting.

          Also. I have to apologise. I’m being very verbose, and I know it. I was feeling pretty down earlier tonight and it’s now 2am so I’m tired and I’m at that silly stage.

          But. All this talk about land is making me think of a monty python line: “Huuuuuuge tracts of land.”

          There. Again, I apologise.

        3. Hey, Tiarali, I love verbosity, hence, my own. BG, if the KJV SAYS “leprosy,” than BLESS GAWD IT WAS HOUSE LEPROSY! Don’t spew me your liberal rants about termites and mold!!! πŸ˜‰

        4. Haha, AoW. This is Australia. We don’t have alcohol in grocery stores πŸ˜‰

          Of course, I have recently heard reports that it’s going to happen. It seems so alien. If I hadn’t read enough online to know that it’s at least perfectly normal in the US, anyway. Haha I’ll bet the Aussie fundies go beserk over this 😈

        5. Seen Enough, one doesn’t hear of leprosy these days because it’s called Hansen’s disease in the U.S.

        6. Yes. I know that, only because I once did a paper on it. It is increasibly uncommon, though. Or is that decreasingly common?

        7. Yes, leprosy/Hansen’s disease is increasingly rare, at least in the developed world.

          But the disease called “leprosy” in the Bible was probably not the disease known to the modern world as leprosy (i.e., Hansen’s disease). It seems to have been some kind of skin infection or a skin disorder like eczema. One article I read argued that it may have been syphillis (although some scholars believe syphillis did not exist in the old world before 1492).

    1. Ok, I know I have umm issues with the IFB on certain topics. So I think I’m probably biased with this. But I was wondering if it meant that HE was the one who was forgiving those who’d done wrong when they repented. That seems to be a big thing in fundy churches – in certain (inappropriate) circumstances. Iykwim.

    2. If everyone in America get’s right with his god, all of America’s problems would cease to exist.
      We would be living in the mythical “good old days”
      Also “Glee” would be cancelled but one could still watch “Man vs. Food”.

  11. They don’t look THAT fundy to me. I mean seriously, my church never would have allowed the type of immorality clearly displayed in those pictures to go on. Did I actually see a sleeveless dress? (and even some of the others were shameful at best) And opposite genders standing that close together? Do you know the kind of message that is giving to our young people? I even saw a guy with his arm around a girl. Although, I don’t want to to judge, and I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and say they were siblings and/or cousins…

    1. “…siblings AND/or cousins”?! 😯

      Well, the church *is* in Virginia… 😈 πŸ˜†

  12. As a youth coordinator, I was anxious to check out the youth page to see if I could capture any new ideas (I’m kidding)! Nothing like having pictures from 4 years ago. Seriously, playing games in suits and fancy dresses. This is a poor euphemism for a school formal.

    I saw on the bus ministry page that the kids get “Baptist Bucks” for certain things, including “dress”. We used to use Bible Bucks for Sunday School, but decided that they gave the wrong message.

    1. ?HUH? I know they have issues with sinners but what problems could they have with housepets?

      1. Was Hyles the one who told a story that a dog was trying to interrupt his attempts to “save” somebody, so he killed the dog so he could get his prospect to say the prayer?

      2. I was also going to link to the video of Jack Schaap’s “I’m going to slap your garandma” sermon, but I see that First Baptist Church of Hammond has persuaded YouTube to pull the video.
        Is Schaap beginning to be capable of embarrassment?
        Doesn’t seem likely, but … ❓

  13. Boy, those pictures just brought back a pile of “interesting” memories. Honorary doctorate says enough about that place…. they used to had them out like cookies at my previous fundy church…

  14. Anyone else notice the guy in the hideous sweater that was with two different girls in two different pictures? I would bet money he went stag, and further money that someone made him go. Everyone remember the mandatory optional youth activities?

    1. I noticed that too. And at first I thought, “HA! Dude has two dates!” but then I looked at him again and thought, “Awww, dude probably doesn’t even have one date, he probably just asked those girls to be in a picture with him… so sad.” We had a couple guys like that in our youth group. Of course you KNOW he takes those pictures to school and shows them as if he went to the party with those girls… so sad.

    2. At my Fundy U the annual Valentine’s banquet was allegedly voluntary but there was enormous pressure to go, even if you didn’t have a date. I hated that time of year because it cost a lot of money to go. It wouldn’t be a lot of money to me now but it was back then when I was perpetually broke.

      At my church the youth events were not optional either. If you didn’t go you could expect to be called out about it, maybe from the pulpit.

      1. This is simply grotesque, AorW. Called down from the pulpit? Yikes and ick. πŸ™„ πŸ‘Ώ

      2. At OBC it was the same thing…I was even stood up by Jimmy V in front of everyone and had my date chosen for me since I hadn’t asked anyone. Well FORGIVE ME Mr. V, but the girls you had at the school at that time weren’t much to pick from if you get my drift. πŸ™„

        They ended up “pairing” me with a 300lb sumo gal. πŸ‘Ώ Thankfully I got to slip out and go back to the dorm…even after paying for the tickets. 😑

        1. Horrors. Not sure whether I am sorrier for you, or that poor girl. Vineyard I would love to kick to the curb. And his nasty son with him. πŸ‘Ώ

        2. This sumo gal hopes that you weren’t a jackass about being paired with some poor girl who happened not to be the type that gives you a hot nut.

  15. The “mandatory optional” by mounty statement reminded me of our youth group. The leader was the pastors son-in-law. The church had a vote for officers and he was voted out and a younger couple were voted in to be leader. The pastor(re.dictator) did not like the vote and told the congregation “even though you voted for the new guy, we’re keeping my son-in-law as youth leader”. I looked over at my friend and said “what the hell just happened?” Yes I did get in trouble for saying a bad word (not by my parents, as I said what they couldn’t). That was the beginning of the end for our family at that church.

    1. OMG! That is SO WRONG! Wow, and I am willing to bet they didn’t even have a mass exodus over that either. What the freak was the POINT of having a VOTE for PETES SAKE??? Oh, my blood is boiling and I wasn’t even THERE! This sickens me. And what is worse is that the PASTOR (re: DICKtater) wasn’t run out on a rail at that moment as well. OHhhh… DAM! (and I don’t cuss) (that’s why I didn’t use all the letters there…)

      1. ~~~writing this down: on this date, Sims said “dick” and “dam,” and her spelling of “dam” proves she does not cuss, nevertheless, she SAID THOSE WORDS, thus proving her sanctification was false~~~ I’ll bet you use an NIV now, too. SMH… what next? Orgies in the streets, no doubt…

        1. Tee-hee-heeee, Sims spells “dictator” as if it meant “potato between the legs.” πŸ˜†

  16. I LOVE that Tiarali is DOMINATING this board! YOU GO GIRL (if you are a girl, that is.) Darrell should keep you up past 2 every time! I feel like I am getting to know you. πŸ˜€

        1. Sorry, I know nothing about cars, although my old bomb would keep a gearhead who wants to tinker very happy for a long time πŸ˜‰

          I am, however, learning computer programming, and this is a relatively male-dominated field – does this count? πŸ™‚

  17. Well, IMO, any church that has an classic car show rocks. Of course I have a feeling they wouldn’t know what to do with a female gearhead. Women aren’t supposed to be interested in auto, except maybe to turn on the radio. πŸ™„

    1. What are little girls made of?
      Sugar and spice,
      And everything nice,
      That’s what little girls are made of.

      I am afraid that you sound like you don’t qualify. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

    2. Maybe not, but my daughters have worked with me on an awful lot of cars. I enjoy their company, and figure the more skills acquired, the better off they are. The younger helped me assemble a 351W when I rebuilt it. The older stunned most of her college classmates when they found she could change spark plugs, brakes, and drive a stick. (As does the younger, as well as their younger brother, who is helping me replace ALL gaskets on an engine this week. Oh, He’s a boy so it’s okay…….)

      Anyway, my girls have had grease under their nails and still know how to attend a ladies tea. (I must not have screwed them up too badly–I have one very good son-in-law, and one joining the family later this year.

      1. (Sarcasm mode off:) A girl who knows how to fix cars is a treasure beyond rubies.
        (Sarcasm mode back on.)

  18. I may be losing it but did the Our Ministries page indicate that there are “interpreters for the hearing impaired available” for the
    Street Preaching Ministry, Soul Winning and Secret Sisters but not for the Nursing Home Ministry? I know it’s wrong but when I read about the Interpreters for the hearing impaired with the street preaching ministry, I pictured Garrett Morris screaming in the background–“This is telling you that you are going to hell for the hard of hearing!”

    1. I canNOT stop laughing at the mental picture you just gave me, of GM… SHRIEKING with laughter, here…. sigh. I needed that! Sigh. Good Times. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

      1. Trying to tell a friend, and cannot stop laughing hard enough to get it out… Cordovan, you win big-time! πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

  19. Favorite part is the sermon “tapes” hahah Jack Hyles “tapes” are so classic yet considered cutting edge by Fundies…well at least until 2009 then they started CD! I’ve see now they have figured out sermonaudio.com watch out world here they come.

  20. Hey can anyone name one Fundamentalist Mega Church (mega church would be one running 1,000+ on Sundays) that was started after 2000 or for that case 1990. Some have grown to around 250 but that is about it the movement is truly a dying.

      1. Ahhh, yes they are growing pretty quickly they started in the late 90’s we got one anyone else?

  21. Anyone else notice that the pictures of the kids in what appears to be large van are driving on the highway with no seatbelts? The seatbelts are clearly visible, yet no one is buckled up. I would be beyond pissed if that was one of my kids πŸ‘Ώ

    1. SEAT BELTS? Why on EARTH would you need seat belts when JESUS is your co-pilot? With the Holy Spirit as an airbag you will survive any attack of the highway. 😈

      1. OOH years ago my sister was a leader at the church’s youth group, and one of the kids needed a lift, so she went and picked her up. On the way there was an awkward intersection and my sister waited for a bit to make sure it was safe to go. The girl got impatient and told her to go, saying, “your delay is showing your lack of faith in God!”

        Thankfully, time has passed and I can tell the end of that story: The girl got older, got her licence, and promptly totalled her new car. Maybe the transport department needs to start listing fundamentalist theology as a disability as far as driving is concerned 😈

        (Disclaimer: This was not an IFB church.)

      2. There have been numerous fatal crashes of church vans and church buses over the last few years. I’m pretty sure the Holy Spirit wants us to wear seat belts.

        1. Well how can that be possible, when we all know that fatal crashes only happen to people who leave a fundy chrurch service after refusing to come to the altar, usually listening to the devil’s music in the car as they drive?

          It couldn’t possibly happen to our people.

        2. I know your “How can that happen?” is facetious, but usually it happens when the volunteer driver is highly fatigued, and also often distracted by the goings-on in the bus, and not infrequently, deferred maintenance on the church vehicles is also a factor.

          Although I’m sure Fundies would say it was because of some kind of sin on the part of someone in the bus …

  22. Maybe it’s a franchise thing. Instead of just having the old wink/wink deal where the church planters get financial help from HAC with the understanding that all high school kids will be funneled straight to HAC, maybe they’ve decided that branding can help their cause. Wouldn’t be surprised to start seeing some “Jones Baptist Churches” popping up soon if the model works for HAC.

    1. Well… this one has been around for a while, if it is the same one that was started back in my day. Doubt it has been all that successful. We will never know, because they inflate their numbers so grossly, numbers being the sole indication of the blessings of gid…. πŸ™„

  23. Yeah I grew up five minutes from this church…and I know people who go there….sad thing is, EVEN when I was a fundy I thought this church was crazy. Who names their church after a preacher?!?!? How can they condemn catholics for naming a church after a saint…? At least St. Peter is a Biblical character and not some crazy fundamentalist….*sigh*

  24. “Apparently, there’s a no touching rule in paradise”

    As Doctor McCoy said, “Well, there goes paradise!”

  25. I’m pretty sure that this church has been featured in SFL before, too (unless there are multiple churches with this name).

    1. For some reason I read “SFL” as “SNL” and thought that was kind of funny. I guess they aren’t mainstream enough or SNL could have a field day with them. Oh well. Our efforts here are certainly noteworthy enough.

    2. Yes, that was noted first thing this morning, and Darrell replied that he is suffering from lack of sleep.

      1. I actually went back and looked and I’m about 99% certain I haven’t featured this as a post.

        Like I said, I may have put it out on Twitter or something previously.

        1. I don’t read your twitter, so I didn’t see it there. If you didn’t feature it, then you probably did a piece about man-worship and someone else posted the link to the church. I *know* that I’ve run across this church in this arena before.

      2. Yes, I saw the earlier note – but Darrell didn’t think so.

        If he’s checked, then what I and others are remembering is some response that featured a link to this church. I *know* that I saw it here, but it may have been a link with one of the posters instead of a featured post.

  26. Some of the Teen Banquet pictures show TOUCHING between genders… I’m bettin’ someone got churched in 2008…

    PLUS…a teenage BOY wearing a PINK shirt?!?!?!
    When I was growing up we always knew who the Hyles kids were because they only wore white shirts. I remember preachers talking about anyMAN who wears colored shirts is becoming effeminate. Can I get a witness?

    And HULA HOOPING?? Hip gyration?!?! This place is a bastion of liberality.

    1. That pink shirt thing actually turned away some teen guys that I knew, back in the eighties. I am so thrilled to say that. Whatever it takes to keep them out of HAC…

  27. I went to HAC with some Hyle Baptist people. When they said the name of their church they did it with arrogance. All I kept thinking was he already has college named after him why does he need a church too! Even as a koolaid drinking sophomore at college I knew this was insane.

  28. This church apparently didn’t make the “approved churches” list from my semi-fundy college that was in the same county. I believe I would have remembered it.

  29. I remember a guy from this church when I went to HAC…he became a staff member, his name was Neil Fruit. Anyone else recognize him? He was extremely high strung and always looked angry.

    How do you like this paragraph under the preacher’s picture?
    ” We are so blessed to have him as our pastor. He is truly the man of God and you will not hear better preaching or find a better servant
    or better friend ……than our preacher”

    That is very humble!

    1. If he really is a friend to the people in his congregation, then he really is very rare amongst the IFB.

  30. Fundies make me laugh. They fear “outsiders” who “aren’t like them” and they spew hatered, misoginy and homophobia worse than the boys in the Taliban.
    Idiots. Go read the “Babble” and find out what Jesus REALLY said instead of listening to some self-serving numbnuts in a cheap suit hollering about the Rapture. Dumb asses.

  31. As a former member of this church i can say that they trully believe that what they are doing is right. However i can say that there is alot of pastor worshipping, pastors wife worshipping and domination of what you think, do, go, ect. If you leave the ” flock” you are headed for destruction and parishioners are discouraged from association with you because you will lead them astray. Quotes from the pastor ” theres no place like this place so this must be the place” ” you didnt hire me so you cant fire me ” ” dont call in, crawl in ” . Enough said.

    1. Oops, never mind. Google informed me that they simply changed their domain name – it’s now hylesbaptist.com.

  32. People get their feelings hurt because things didn’t go their way or the way they thought they should have. Seems people forget about all the years of love, support and friendship given to them and they start to run down their former church and pastor and then wonder why people that are still members start to distant themselves from them. It’s not been said at this church “if you leave the flock” you are headed for destruction…. but you can let history decide that for yourself. Consider this….Most of the time these are the people that were worshiping the pastor and trust me peeps…. it was evident years before you left the church who you were following. These same people will call that same pastor at a moments notice when they are in trouble and need help….and you know what…He is there for them because that is who he is.
    You can’t put all IFB’s in one category and you can’t believe that all members are there because they love and want to serve God first and foremost. Many will put their pastors on a pedestal and do things to please man instead of “THE Man Up Above” you can’t blame God or the church for that. That was your decision!
    To the website here itself: It’s funny how so many people call Christians or Church Goers hypocrites and talk of their judgmental ways but let me just say this site has opened my eyes. To those who have been hurt or abused by churches or church members or pastors…I am truly sorry you had to experience that. I honestly can not imagine how i would feel or the hurt and anger that may spew out onto the “churched” world. I am in no way making light of what may have happened to any of you at your previous churches. But it is totally unfair to judge this church by your previous situations. You making fun of Pee Wee Powers who now is living with an artificial heart and Lori Willis who is a young mother of two who has been fighting cancer over and over again for the last 7 years is just not funny. How would you feel if that was your mother or father or sibling? Come on now…. i know you are making light of a situation but really. Disappointing.
    There are evil people out there and yes they do find their way into our churches, our lives, our jobs and our neighborhoods. I think you can discuss what happened to you at your church and make people aware of the dangers that do lurk inside.. yes our churches, our schools and even some homes around this country. you want to give personal accounts …ok go for it. But for you to deliberately go after another church, its pastor, its people, its standards or lack of standards is just not classy and speaks volumes of either your personal character or a past hurt. Choose wisely. You may deter someone that is looking for a church home or that truly needs the help of a local church and you may be the reason they don’t get it. EVER. Just choose wisely.
    To the poster above: Just curious and please be honest. What was it… did you leave because your feeling were hurt? Pastor didn’t take your side in an argument? What was it that took you from worshiping (with?) the man to running down this church and its pastor? please tell us

  33. This is heart breaking … I go to this church… I never knew this Terrible evil stuff was on the internet about my church. The people DO NOT worship the pastor . And they got their doctorate degrees because someone felt they deserved it ND they do! They don’t live their lives to be worshipped they live it for Jesus. If you have a problem with this church reply to this and we can meet face to face and you can tell me how you really feel about a church you have no idea about. Jack Hyles was the pastors RHOLE MODEL not god. Geeze can’t wait for someone to treat you the way you have treated my church. Let’s be adults and really talk about it. Don’t hide behind your computer. Oh and the Valentine banquet no none of it is inappropriate. Every single one of them teenagers was NOT forced to go . They wanted to be there. So judgemental . Love wins people!

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