Odds and Ends

Announcing: FBC Hammond Photo Contest

82 Comments

Please bear in mind that would never encourage the SFL readership to submit random photos of life in post-fundamentalism. That would just be childish and not a good testimony at all. No, sir we don’t want that kind of behavior going on here. No matter how funny it might be it’s just not worth having that on your conscience. So don’t even think about it.

82 thoughts on “Announcing: FBC Hammond Photo Contest”

    2. Oh, I see.

      Those are probably all requests from Farmville or something. 🙂

      1. They should make a game called “Church Ville”. Imagine the possibilities.

        2. Church Ville does make money. Just watch TBN. “Can I have my $1000 seed offering please?”

  3. What is childish and even retarded is the mentality of this website. I saw a few posts on this site talking about how stupid people are that believe in “conspiracy theories” and I clicked on a few links and eventually got to some site about JFK. The only ones who appear childish and stupid are people who actually are insanely and dangerously gullible enough to actually believe in the “lone nut” theory and that Oswald did it. I’m sorry, but I can’t take your website even close to serious, witty at times or not, if you people actually believe that.

    1. I clicked on a few links and eventually got to some site about JFK.

      Shoes? Is that you?

      1. 1. The first permanent photograph was made in 1822 by a French inventor, Joseph Nicéphore Niépce
        2. The lunar crater Niepce is named after him
        3. The moon has a gravitational pull
        4. The gravitational pull of the moon is responsible for tides
        5. As the tides change, waves are created
        6. Waves are the water feature that surfing requires
        7. A surfer named Brian Smith introduced UGG’s to the United States

        Uggs are a type of sheepskin shoe that originated in Australia.

        arRRGGhh! It cannot be! I am not the aforementioned poster, yet logic says I am. I’m so confused.
        This is not the work of Shoes
        Sorry Darrell, it wasn’t me. I don’t like the term “retarded.” I find it very offensive.
        How ignorant is this sentence: “What is childish and even retarded is the mentality of this website.”(J, Lance; http://www.SFL.com; 4.02.2011)

    2. Wow, I fell down the rabbit hole. Ex-fundamentalists are confused with conspiracy theorists.

    4. Since I’m probably the biggest conspiracy theory hater on here (thanks in part to all the garbage I heard from Fundy pulpits), I’ll accept this wingnut criticism and reinforce my convictions that conspiracy theories are the symptom of a diseased worldview.

      1. I hear you, but I believe that poster was referring to the John Kennedy assassination in particular, perhaps not all conspiracy theories. Of course I’m sure we would all agree with the poster about that one. That one is not even a “conspiracy theory.” If anyone really believes that Oswald did it and actually believes the Warren Commission, then you are so gullible and naive that I actually think it would be dangerous for you to be left alone without caretakers from the nuthouse watching over you. I think somehow that poster clicked on a link or two, starting at this website, and somehow ended up at a foolish site that actually espouses the Warren Commission. I trust they realize that we here at SFI in no way shape or form believe the Warren Commission and run, not walk, away from anyone who even hints that the Oswald theory might be true…..It was all a simple misunderstanding. Now, back to the topic at hand.

    6. Ok I missed something what is the deal with consperacy theories?

      1. I was nowhere near the Grassy Knoll that day. I swear.
        Besides, I was only 5 years old.

  4. When I am told not to do something, it makes mexwant to do it even more. I think this blog posting is sending me a subliminal message. I’m going to try reading it backwards to a track from a Pink Floyd album to get the real message.

  5. So I can’t post about the wine-tasting and live blues fundraiser I went to today?

      1. Friday: Smokes at the Oaks – free cigars and bourban tasting for all attenders, live music, and the proceeds go to Greater Harvest. Awesomeness!

    2. I’d like to put up a picture of our praise band singing this morning or of the young man preaching while wearing jeans and a flannel shirt!

  6. I have a picture of Jack Hyles in a white “Ice Cream Vendor” costume, handing out ice cream in the girls’ dorm. Do you think that is the kind of pic they had in mind?

  7. Dave Hyles has quite a lot of skill in taking photos, or so I’ve heard. Mostly of himself and married women in his church. He stuffs them into suitcases and throws them in church dumpsters, so maybe FBC could sponsor a scavenger hunt….

    3. Is this a scavenger hunt with a check list or just a turn-loose-see-what-you-can-find hunt?

    5. I would totally go on that scavenger hunt. Even if I have to walk there from Texas.

  8. I was going to post a picture of all the people on staff with earned doctorates, but there were none. Same result when i looked for photos of those with honorary doctorates from someplace else than HAC.

  9. Send in your best portrait photo–of things/people related to First Baptist Church

    The scatological possibilities are endless.

    Also… isn’t “Enter or More Details” an odd choice to have to make? 😉

  10. How’s this for “Stuff Fundies Like”, DEAD TERRORISTS! GOD BLESS AMERICA!

    1. Yeah… My Facebook main page is quite literally aflame with this… /facepalm

  11. Don needs to send them his favorite pix…of a guy with his head up his rear! LOL! I believe that pix definitely meets their criteria of “things/people related to FBC”. 😉

    1. epic win

      I often think to myself: “I’d try to see things from your point of view, but I don’t think I can get my head that far up my ass.”

      Another good pic would be of a husband beating his wife, or hiding small girls in a “special closet”, or bailing a washed-out preacher out of jail, oh the possibilities are endless!

  12. What’s the deal with not being able to view that facebook page unless I switch to an insecure connection?

  13. Please bear in mind that would never encourage the SFL readership to submit random photos of life in post-fundamentalism. That would just be childish and not a good testimony at all. No, sir we don’t want that kind of behavior going on here. No matter how funny it might be it’s just not worth having that on your conscience. So don’t even think about it.

    …but it would make an excellent Friday Challenge! 😎

  14. So I had to read what this is all about. One of the prizes is a $25 gift card to the FBCH bookstore. I wonder if they sell small white pianos, or maybe a fundy book on personal holiness? Nah! We know both of those do not exist!

    2. I love that you’ve BEEN to HAC and still know better than to fall for the white piano.

  15. I should post pics of girls playing real sports with real sports clothing (never a culotte!). Basically all the things the girls/ladies at FBCH are not allowed to do.

    Competitive swimming
    Gymnastics
    Bicycle speed racing
    Softball
    etc

    1. Maybe a link to a preview of the movie “Soul Surfer”? What, it’s Christian?!?

  16. Maybe invent a time machine and have my friends take a photo of me drinking my first beer. Although I never was in fundamentalism (although I did believe in some of the pietistic groups out there before), it would be funny to see their reaction to me drinking an $0.98 Miller High Life from a restaurant a few months ago. 😆

    1. Plenty of us non-fundies would find that terribly offensive, you know. Miller? Seriously?

        1. Anon – it is even cheaper if you brew beer yourself from a kit – I worked out the cost at about 60c/bottle… for high quality kit. Even cheaper if you take one of those canned “malt extract kis.

  17. One of the categories is “First Baptist Church member on First Baptist Church property.” I just sent in one of an FBC grandmother with a black eye.

  18. I’m new to this website, but I just had to comment when I saw today’s post. Yep – I used to be an “inner circle” member at FBC Hammond…was pretty much a prodigy there all my life till I began asking questions. I think I should submit some of my modeling portfolio to the contest…LOL 😈

    1. M.E. I’m glad you’re not hiding what “god created”
      It a sin to put cullottes on a nice body.

  19. Wow. Anyone else see the stoplight in front of the church as a not-so-subtle warning?

    1. On it’s own, it’s definitely odd, and choosing to include it in the photo by FBCH does seem to be a somewhat subliminal message like that from them.

  20. “Don’t forget to ‘like’ our page”…I was looking for the other button.

  21. I really have to apologize for diving headfirst into the crude but…. wasn’t it Jack Hyles that proposed that our relationship with the scriptures is a sexual relationship?

    I would absolutely die if someone with some Photoshop skills were to submit a picture of ol’ Jack and his Bible 😈 😳

    1. That was Jack Hyles’ successor, Jack Schaap.
      But you have the right idea.

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