Bible Covers

Fundamentalists are great fans of Bible covers. Where else can you store 43 gospel tracts, a year’s worth of bulletins, cough drops, gum, extra strength tissues for repentance-quality crying, two pens, six highlighters, 4 bookmarks, a Read Through the Bible in Year guide from 1983 and (if there’s still room) a Bible.

But the  question the fundamentalist must ask  is: what kind of statement does my Bible cover make? Let’s explore some of the options:

brightorange
Thy Word is a Lamp Unto My Feet…and also doubles as an emergency reflector.

camo
I’m in the Lord’s army. And the Idaho Citizens’ Constitutional Militia.

quilted
Finally, a Bible that matches my outfit!

legallyblonde
I’m a Southern Baptist on the Inside

kinkade
I also have an extensive decorated plate collection…

compass
Thanks to this cover, I no longer worry about getting lost in the church vestibule.

usflag
I’m patriotic. And home schooled. And I also sew name tags in all my clothes

134363XL
I have Beach Boys tapes hidden in my closet.

organizer
I’m a Preacher Boy. And I’ve got the business cards to prove it.

29 thoughts on “Bible Covers”

  1. Wow, loved the first paragraph! I think I did carry about that much stuff in my Bible cover back in the day. It was always amazing how much lighter my Bible was after my yearly Bible cover cleaning-out binge. Interestingly, I haven’t used a Bible cover on any of my Bibles since leaving fundamentalism (unless you count my old KJV I no longer use). Coincidence?

  2. I’ve got a bible upstairs in a cover and its still full of papers. I go through them every once in a while just to shake my head at. Old notes from really boring sermons…. a “do you have a piece of gum card” that was used many different services… lol memories, memories….

  3. I think we all know that you don’t have to be a fundy to have a bible cover. I grew up with them. Still, the homeschooled one and the Kinkaide one made me laugh out loud!

  4. Laughed from the first sentence on! Haha! I remember those days. Carrying pens to supply a whole youth group. Having a cleaning out every so often. Fun times…
    And i’ll just avoid the whole political side of this…

  5. Your mention of all the pens and highlighters that you can carry in a Bible cover reminded me of one of my Bible teachers in Christian school. He actually spent several classes teaching us how to mark OUR Bibles HIS way. We had to bring pencils of a certain color to class. I don’t remember any of the specifics, but it was something “highlight the verbs with orange, the proper names with blue, the conjunctions with yellow” and of course ALWAYS find out what the “therefore” is there for. It’s more evidence to me that we dissected the Bible more than we read it.

    1. I’ve heard one preacher say that you should always mark your Bible because it shows that you take what God is showing you seriously. Yet another preacher (from the same pulpit, no less) said that you should never mark your Bible because if you do you are emphasizing your words and thoughts over God’s. 🙄

      The tendency of many Christians (not just fundys) to practically worship the paper and ink that their Bible is written on, while ignoring what it actually says, is really very sad.

  6. For the record I don’t see a single Bible cover that would be acceptable in a legit Fundy church. Looks like a bunch of liberal compromisers Bible covers for ESVs. 🙂

  7. My former pastor (a gracious and humble man of the word) carried his bible in the original bible box. All the preacher boys who attended the assembly for which he was the senior pastor did the same thing.

    I still have my bible in the original box (Mostly Cambridge, but now my NASB box is well suited!)

    I haven’t had a bible cover since my SBC days wherein was my Thompson chain reference! Hey, I still have it along with the various and sundry incidentals located therein. 🙂

    B.R.O.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.