Short Haircuts
The topic of hair (referred to by the great Dr. George Irving Barber as “Hairology“) is of great importance to fundamentalists. On men, hair is to remain short at all times without exception. Even if that means cutting it off with a rusty kitchen knife, it is a well known fact that a few errant strands of hair lapping over the ear or the collar will ruin your testimony and convince everyone that you are a dirty hippie.
There are a few exceptions. For example, if a namby-pamby fundamentalist college student is involved in historical theater, he may be required to wear a button proclaiming “I am in a dramatic production. My hair is not this length normally. I have special hair dispensation” (this is a very large button).
It’s not only the length that is important but the placement of the part as well. Hair parted in the middle is a likely sign of latent homosexuality. Hair not parted at all is liberal and slovenly. Only a side part will do to show that the wearer is a serious-minded and trustworthy sort.
In the words of the grand old song:
If your hair is on your ears, there’s sin in your heart.
Get it cut today and make a new start.
There’s no need for living in sin and dread
with a tangled mop upon your head.
If your hair is on your ears, there’s sin in your heart.
Posted by Darrell
You forgot about the worldliness of spiked hair. It’s just as bad as the part in the middle when it comes to being suspect.
Do you ever read a Bible? You should try it. It would make you not look as foolish.
Haha! We pulled this whole trick on my friend a couple of years ago. His brother happened upon the 1 Cor 11:14 passage. And we all told him to cut his girly hair (which was in fact, at least close to his waist). But needless to say, I’m SO glad he cut it. It looked…not good…
“If your hair is on your ears, there’s sin in your heart”? You mean it’s that easy to tell what’s in someone’s heart? The Bible says man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. Does God have it backwards?
I remember the little ditty that Hal Webb and Theron Babcock used to sing:
“First Corinthians eleven is still in the book,
I know that it is ’cause I just took a look,
It says that long hair on a man is a shame,
So why bring disgrace to our dear savior’s name?”
@ex-fundy: Did they sing that to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies?
@phil: no, but I see how you could do that, lol. I mentioned on another post that you can sing the words of Amazing Grace to the tune of the Gilligan’s Island theme song.
So…is it ok for the hair to be long on top so long as it is part of a comb-over? Shaving it all off isn’t an option, since someone might mistake you for a “skinhead.” This was an actual issue at BJU when my husband and several other Marine reservists were students. One haircheck prince always stopped then to the point of harassment because of their military regulation haircuts. They actually had to get a letter from their commanding officer stating that it was not a “skinhead” haircut, that it was in fact a US military regulation haircut, and to leave them alone. However, the university, even after harassing reservists, had no problem asking them for colorguards for events.
is that a real song? lol
I love that song. Sang it to my husband after his dad lectured him on his hair length (we were poor and couldn’t afford to get it cut and didn’t have hair cuttery utensils). He nearly cried from laughter. When my family gets together with old friends, it’s a regular for us to sing (along with “Send Me To Glory in a Glad Bag”).
Oh, my. Thank you.