Glossary
Terms to know when reading about Baptist fundamentalists:
(This list is a work in progress and will be expanded as the author finds time. Feel free to submit your own definitions via the comments section.)
Amen!
- The proper response to the query “And all God’s people said?”
Bud-dumber
- A clever play on words that combines “Budwiser” and “dumber.” Fundies are full of these little gems.
Canned Music
- Godless pre-recorded music that violates the tradition of using a piano and organ like the early church did.
Compromiser
- One of the worst insults a fundamentalist can muster. In the insult taxonomy it falls about one level below “Democrat” and two levels above “liberal.”
Fightin’
- A fundamentalist’s favorite self-descriptor adjective.
Horses
- What you can’t contend with after the footmen tire thee.
Hyper-Calvinist
– A person who believes one more point of TULIP than I do.
Managawd
- A fundamentalist pastor. Especially those who fancy themselves to be modeled after the Old Testament prophets.
Movie House
- A sinful, godless movie theater where movies from Hollyweird (or perhaps Hellywood) are shamelessly displayed.
Rock Music
– Any music where the beat is not on the first and third note. The only exception to this rule Southern Gospel.
Sacred Desk
– A pulpit.
Standards
- The things that I do that and you don’t do because you’re a compromising liberal Democrat. Includes everything from hair length to radio station presets.
Wine
-Welch’s Grape Juice
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LOL@ the Wine definition. I can’t tell you how many sermons I heard with that definition. I remember thinking, “Then why didn’t it just translate ‘wine’ as ‘grape juice’?” I never did figure out how the wedding guests at Caana were going to get “happier” on grape juice.
Here’s a couple more for your glossary:
Sacred Art – art work that would be considered blasphemous if hung anywhere but your university’s art gallery, especially in a Roman Catholic church.
Moses – the first born-again, Bible-believing, King James only, independent, fundamental, separated, Baptist preacher.
Elijah- the second born-again, Bible-believing, King James only, independent, fundamental, separated, Baptist preacher.
I like them!
LOL!
John the Baptist and Jesus – the first Baptists.
The 1611 AV – The Word of God
Liberal – anyone with less “standards” than you
Legalist – anyone with more “standards” than you
Oral Sex – the pagan act that burned sodom and gomorrah
Divorce – possibly the “sin unto death”
“Thorn in the Flesh” – something that makes you more inspired than anyone else
Adultery – only acceptable if you are an OT King “after God’s own heart”
Invitation – the final hurrah in a Fundy message, where the preacher can preach again for 20 minutes and arm-twist people down the aisle to get saved, get right, or join the church
Camp- 1) Christian Pyramid Scheme 2) the Christian quick fix