190 thoughts on “Fundy Tweet of the Week: American Foundations”

  1. Brethren and Cisterns, you can see the profound works of Brothers (or it could be Brothers–there is a lot of width there) Ted Alexander in the important and neglected realm of Imaginary Baptist History at his website, located here: http://evangelisttedalexander.com/category/bookstore/

    I’m guessing Ted’s newest book of American Fairy Tales is not yet up on the site because it hasn’t been updated since the fall of last year. Doubtless he released the joyful news via Twitter, that once-condemned-now-blessed medium for spreading the Good News and offensive condemnations, and it was picked up by the hero of D’s post.

    1. “The Realm of Imaginary Baptist History” – That has great potential for a fantasy book and movie by Peter Jackson. Not entirely kidding!

    2. Ted A. also tweeted on Feb. 27 that his American Foundations book is at the publisher & will be available for purchase “soon” via his website (Baptist Heritage Revival Society).

  2. Real or not, I have seen this type of publication before about how wonderful the Baptists have been throughout history. I have one on my bookshelf. Smh. It takes the emphasis off of Christ and directly on the denomination. Horse feathers!

    1. Yes. This is exactly what I was thinking. Why would we want to laud ourselves (speaking as one who identified as a Baptist for most of my life) when I could give praise to Jesus? Is Jesus not greater than one denomination? Doesn’t scripture say that we are all part of one body, that all of us work together to do God’s will in the world? How can just one branch of Christianity claim all the good to itself? The Bible literally says that the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of thee,” yet isn’t that what this tweet is saying?

  3. All Americans owe a “debt of appreciation” to the Baptists – so we have to go bus calling today?

    Even Jesus never said anyone owed him appreciation, and who else more deserves it?

    1. LOL……… Bus Calling…….. the quickest way to put the heebie jeebies into an ex-fundie!!

  4. Out here in California, we always thought it was the Catholics who got here first. Father Junípero Serra is actually up for sainthood (that’s another controversial story). I guess they’ll have to go back and rewrite all the school history courses.

    1. When Junipero Serra built the first mission in Upper California, while he was putting the roof on, some Baptist Native Americans knocked on the door to offer him the Plan of Salvation by showing him the Wordless Book.

      1. That would be a fun rewriting of history (and that’s what’s so scary about some IFB interpretations of history).

        1. Actually, if it was a Native American, it would have to be the Wordless Book Bead bracelet-creatied with authentic Native American beads, of course.

  5. The author has his own website. He goes around preaching/teaching to the “fundiest of the fundy” churches.

    1. Regarding the tweet, we should also note that “proves” has a different meaning for Baptists than it does for most other people. The Fundy Baptist definition of “prove” is something like “wish” or “imagine.”

      1. “Prove all things, hold fast to that which is good.” That’s what it makes me think of.

      2. Ahhh, but Baptists had to be at the Center of things. Why, who do you think foiled the attempts of the Illuminati and the Masons? It was the Baptists! They kept the reach of the illuminati to making light bulbs, and the Masons were forced to make canning jars to support their organization.

        George Washington was a Secret Baptist of course, explaining why he never took Eucharist at the demonic Anglican Church. And that is why the National Treasure of the Masons hasn’t been discovered. Washington helped rawhide the treasure until the time when Ted Cruz shall be crowned King and will rule the US with a rod of iron and take the Spoils of the Wicked as His Righteous Reward.

        In the meantime, Snydely Whiplash is tying Dudley DoRight’s girl to the railroad tracks again.

  6. Anyone every read up on John Smyth? The so called fore- runner of the Baptst movement? He was a contentious individual who caused a lot of discord among dissident believers (the group that eventually came to Plymouth Colony was a part of that movement). His theology was all over the map. I have ancestors who were part of that and while I am not an expert I have done a bit of research on the subject. I think he started off with sincere intentions but as always….something happened. I think he started to take himself too seriously.

    1. I read in “Baptists and the Bible” (I don’t recall the author) how Smyth taught that no uninspired writings should be used in worship, including translations or even original language texts of the Bible, much less psalters, hymnals or prayer books of any kind. Then not long after pouring water on his own head with Helwys and starting the first so-called “Baptist” church in the High Holy Year of 1611 (wouldn’t that just be the way God would time it?), he ran off and joined the Mennonites. No wonder the Reformed Baptists don’t look back to him for their origin, but rather the 1689 Second London Baptist Confession of Faith.

  7. Personally, I think the cover of the book has a suspiciously-Masonic-looking gold triangle under the Bible…….

    1. Apparently it’s the symbol from the new Baptist flag to take the place of the old Methodist flag that many people have hanging in their churches. The fact that it’s set over the American flag…

      1. That flag looks awfully dirty, by the way.
        Isn’t it about time you ran it through the Maytag, Ted?
        Just as you have already done with American history?

        1. It’s the color of a hard-working flag, sir. It’s been walking in the old dirt paths. What about you, ya loosy-goosy God-forsaken LIBERAL?!!

        2. I’m tarred of you folks walking all over this Gyod-breathed land parading yer abominations. Have some RESPECT for a Gyod-called man of Gyod willing to STAND UP against you whaanin’ liberals. Y’all need to run this whole Gyod-forsaken hell-hole of a WEBSITE through that Maytag and then get you ahold of a KEEYING JAYUMES BOBLE and then RUUUUN down that aisle to that OLLLD-FAYSHIONED altar, bless GYOD!!!!!!!! CAN I GIT AN AAAMEN!!!

        3. I actually had someone, an American (I am not American, therefore already damned no doubt), a family member by marriage, look at my french language bible and tell me it was not the inspired word of God. When I asked what people who only read french should do about a bible, he told me seriously that they should learn english……..

        4. Ahahahaaa!!! Are you serious, Miriam? Wow. Just wow. To which you reply, “Pardon my French, but…”

        5. I was so tempted to assume the guy wouldn’t understand some of my more colourful French and use it. I am sure I would have been safe, insular, arrogant ignoramus.

        6. Yes, just like all good Muslims learn to read Arabic in order to read the true Koran. It’s not the true weird anymore once it’s been translated.

        7. Miriam, C’est pas grave. Je préfère mon Louis Segond aussi.

          The typical KJV dude would say they should read the Ostervald, albeit it difficult to understand and read.

        8. Larry, c’était le Segond révisée, lol. Still though, it was the fact that it didn’t have those magical letters, K, J, and V on the front. He didn’t know or care what the translation was. I tried, delicately to point out that the KJV was a translation and he took great pains to show me the error into which I had fallen, Ugh. The truth is the guy was pig ignorant.

        9. Miriam, ignorance like that reminds me where the book of Proverbs says to answer not a fool according to his folly. How can he not see that he reeks with smug arrogance with statements like that?

        10. Very true, Pastor’s Wife. Do you not find though, that fundamentalists seem to be almost proud of their ignorance? My husband was raised French Catholic. His family were tough, hard working, good people. Not his mother but that’s another story, lol.

        11. Miriam, I once questioned a KJV guy on what people who speak other languages should do about proper bible versions. He told me that the KJV has been translated into numerous other languages so no one has an excuse. I smiled because I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. I don’t know if this is true (about the KJV), but he certainly believed it and didn’t seem to see the problem with a translation of a translation of a translation. Or however many generations of translations it goes….

        12. That is so funny, and Fundy lol, Eric. God after all is used to be an Englishman and now he is an English speaking man. Such folly

        13. Is used to be? Possessed keyboard. What I wonder about these people is, do they not understand that each translation differs a little from the original, or rather all we have to go on because we do not have the original? I think a lot of these people have shut their minds to reality. Do they think that God spoke the KJV in to being? I believe they do think this.

        14. We actually have 2 different translations of the Korean Bible off of the KJV. The first set of people to translate off the KJV told everybody else they were going to hell for reading a perversion. Then another, more stringent group of KJBers came in and retranslated a new Bible off the KJV again, because the first translation was now considered compromised and too polarizing because of the authors comments.
          Now the second KJV translation is popular among Baptists, the first is popular among cultists, and everybody else uses the 200 year old Bible translated off the Chinese that is written in archaic Korean that nobody understands well anymore.
          What can you do?

        15. Well, if you knew Greek and Hebrew and Korean, you could do a new translation into Hebrew.
          But I won’t be doing that any time soon.

        1. “But should auld acquaintance be forgot,
          Keep your eye on the grand old flag.”

          How does that even make any sense?

  8. Does anyone else love the all caps “BAPTISTS” at the end of his post? XD

  9. Earlier, he tweets, “Pray for persecuted Baptist Christians.”
    Whew! That saved me some time. I was going to pray for the Christians captured by ISIS and other radical groups, but they’re probably not Baptists…

    1. That makes me weep. How can he exhort others to only pray for people who believe exactly as he does? There are people dying because they will not for sake the name of Christ and they are not worthy to be prayed for because they don’t call themselves Baptist?

      1. Exactly. Having had a few friends martyred for their faith, I can tell you, they weren’t killed for being Baptist; they died for Christ.

        However, Baptists are persecuted every day in our country by having doors slammed in their faces when they try to witness to people, and by having strangers on the internet disagree with them. These must be the ones we should pray for.

      2. Therein lies the rub. As is common with this type of Baptist, does anyone believe like he does?

  10. It is not uncommon for fundies to talk about how rediculous it is that there is a black history month and if blacks want equality it should just be American history. So why do they think its ok to make a baptist history and not just an American history?

    I’m sure it has to do with how the evil world had falsely removed God (which means baptist) from our public schools and how they are being unjustly persecuted for their faith.

  11. I think there could be a good argument here. Independent baptist churches and America were founded for the same reasons.

    Power and money

  12. Just wanted to let everyone know that this man must be a new world order occultist. The cover of his book is replete with Satanic New World Order symbolism. If you look carefully, you will notice six RED stripes on the cover. Part of the American flag? No, silly, SIX clearly represents the mark of the beast, red denoting his reign of blood an terror. I’m not even going to mention how you need to watch out for words that end in “x”. The last red stripe on the bottom is a sure enough PYRAMID, a common symbol of the NWO. Ted Alexander’s name is on the second stripe up from the bottom, clearly showing he will be second in command from Abbadon (King of the BOTTOMless Pit) when the NWO commences. The top left (did I say *left*?) hand corner has a blue pyramid again symbolizing that the elites (blue bloods) will eventually get the upper hand, thus the top left hand corner (of the market). The seven stars represent the rock stars of this world completely leading this charge, as seven stands for completeness. There is also the Great Red Round Seal of socialism prominently displayed with, again, a pyramid inside it. The word “TRUTH” is deliberately emblazoned across the bottom to subliminally send the message that the NWO is the true and right way. I could go on and on, but I will close by pointing out the not-so-subtle reference to the NWO sex orgies represented by the shameless statement, “Laid by the Baptists.”

      1. No, it’s not lol. I remember that poster from years back. Whatever happened to Shoes, anyway?

        1. He got donated to Goodwill?

          Lol, sorry. No idea. Miss that chap a lot msyelf. Good resemblance here, in your style, George (no, not that George).

    1. Plus, his name has “X” in it, and as Ruckman said, “You gotta watch out for that X, man!”

      Also, Alexander…yeesh. If God’s ultimate revelation of himself is in Christ, then Brother Ted is one of the ungodliest preachers I’ve ever heard. I hate to even have to admit I’ve heard him.

  13. To be fair, Roger Williams (Baptist) was a pretty important figure in the history of religious freedom. I seem to recall that he ended up jaded about “organized religion” by the end of his life though.

    1. I remember hearing about this and I never bothered looking up and confirming the claim. It’s indeed true, though he wasn’t Baptist for very long, and the influence he played was before he became baptist. Interesting read, for sure!

      “The political and religious leader Roger Williams (c. 1603-1683) is best remembered for founding the state of Rhode Island and advocating separation of church and state in Colonial America. His views on religious freedom and tolerance, coupled with his disapproval of the practice of confiscating land from Native Americans, earned him the wrath of his church and banishment from the colony. Williams and his followers settled on Narragansett Bay, where they purchased land from the Narragansett Indians and established a new colony governed by the principles of religious liberty and separation of church and state. Rhode Island became a haven for Baptists, Quakers, Jews and other religious minorities. Nearly a century after his death, Williams’ notion of a “wall of separation” between church and state inspired the founders of the United States, who incorporated it into the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights.”

      Later in the article:

      “His lifelong search for a closer personal union with God forged his beliefs and ideas. Rejecting the moderate theology of Puritanism, Williams embraced the radical tenets of separatism, turned briefly to Baptist principles, but ultimately declared that Christ’s true church could not be known among men until Christ himself returned to establish it. From his reading of the New Testament, in which Christ had commanded religious truth and error to coexist in every nation until the end of the world, Williams concluded that liberty of conscience–”soul liberty” as he called it–was necessary because no one could know for certain which form of religion was the true one God had intended.”


      Though I’ll admit, this is the History Channel. I’m surprised they didn’t include a connection with ancient aliens.

      1. As the great Rev. William Spooner once said to someone he met “your name is familiar but I can’t remember your face…”

    1. The Doctor of Divinity degree was originally invented as an honorary degree for clergy, and is traditionally granted after the attainment of a PhD/ThD for outstanding contributions or service in religion. There are some schools, mostly in America and mostly unaccredited, that have an “earned” DD, but unlike a ThD it does not require original research and the few “earned” DDs I have seen usually just require some extra coursework.

  14. The thing is, the idea of being a “Baptist” didn’t mean the same thing in the Founding Era that it means to modern-day IFBers. Also, it should be noted that the “Baptists” of the Founding Era were a largely persecuted minority (outside of Rhode Island) and weren’t particularly prominent or influential among the elite. (I know the fantasy that the Founding Fathers were just ignorant bumpkins used by God, but that’s just not the case – they were the elitists of their day and created a Constitution designed to cater to the elite class.)

    Here is a chart with the religious affiliation of the Founding Fathers. It has religion first, then number of Founding Father adherents, then percentage. Note that Baptists do not even appear on this list.

    Episcopalian/Anglican 88 54.7%
    Presbyterian 30 18.6%
    Congregationalist 27 16.8%
    Quaker 7 4.3%
    Dutch Reformed/German Reformed 6 3.7%
    Lutheran 5 3.1%
    Catholic 3 1.9%
    Huguenot 3 1.9%
    Unitarian 3 1.9%
    Methodist 2 1.2%
    Calvinist 1 0.6%
    TOTAL 204

      1. Well, most of the deists still went to church. Washington was an Anglipalian to his death, but he refused communion, considering it a vulgar superstition. His real allegiance lay with the Free Masons, as did many other of the fathers.

      2. Listed as Unitarians, possibly? Eighteenth and nineteenth century Unitarianism was basically deism with a bit of Christian moralism.

        1. Only in the second half of the twentieth century did it become what it – mostly – is today : atheism with a light mix of New Age paganism and pseudo-Buddhism. (Nice, well-meaning lot, of course.)

        2. Considerably nicer than the lot who believes they should burn forever and ever.

          Those who believe people will go to hell also agree that the “punishment” is somehow “just” and “right.” I am almost to the point where I can say I don’t believe it any more. Not quite, but almost.

        3. Oh yes, rtgmath. Now if only someone were to start a “Stuff Unitarians Like” page… …there would be no nasty hellfire preachers, no racist bigots, no crazy creationists.

          But we do have our own ‘standards’: it’s not enough to wear sandals. You have to wear them with lemon yellow socks, preferably hand-knitted out of organic free range tofu by a lesbian women’s co-operative in Nicaragua.

  15. Ted Alexander used to be based out of the late James Beller’s church in Arnold, MO. So that explains the whole “Baptist history” angle; Beller wrote many books himself about such things.

    1. Oh, so true.

      Especially when they can require Bible college students to buy them, or have the church purchase copies to give away to each attendee at their conferences.


  16. Any medical doctors out there? i’m not a doctor but I suspect that the author of this tweet is suffering from a terminal case of Cranio-Rectal Syndrome. Could a doctor please confirm that?

      1. That weird noise is the sound of a Fundy skull grinding against the pelvic bones.

      2. Would the colo-rectal surgeon manage to remove this Fundy’s cranium from where the sun don’t shine?

      3. Thanks a lot Miriam. Thanks to you I will have to get that stupid song surgically removed from my head….

        1. No, no. We were already there. Especially if you’ve seen typical fundy “country” entertainment.

          The Valentines Day Banquet entertainment was awful when my wife and I used to go. Garrison Keller and crew are top drawer compared to some of that stuff!

        2. Garrison Keillor.

          I used to watch A Prarie Home Companion a lot. Then, too, that was Lutheran comedy, wasn’t it?

        3. Dr F, if I were the snarky type I might ask if you have your head up your butt, but I’m a lady and innately incapable of such a thing.

    1. george (as legend has it) is head of the Mayo Cranio-Rectal treatment facility. He specializes in Cranio-Rectalectomy and sphincter vapor lock release. He is a pioneer in the field of headassery. He told me that if this person was not wearing a tie at the time he wrote this tweet then it is almost certain it is a terminal case. The rectum will have developed such a lock around the throat of this one that unless he was wearing a neck tie there is no way of breaking the vapor seal without pulling the head from the neck completely.

  17. Just a thought–I was wondering if this, when finally published and available, is supposed to be an exhaustive history or are the people and events depicted going to be more urban legend. I’m pretty sure I know the answer, though.
    I wonder if any of these famous Baptists will be in his book:
    Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
    Jessee Jackson
    Billy Graham
    Johnny Cash
    Aretha Franklin
    Clarence Thomas
    Harry Longbaugh
    Jessee James
    Tony Compolo
    Buddy Holly
    Eddie Murphy
    Ray Bradbury

    I’ll quit with these. All of these folks on the list have played a role of some sort in the history of the USA and have been great influences in their chosen professions. And were admitted Baptists. Somehow, I doubt “Dr.” Alexander would even recognize them, not being IFB KJV Fundies.

    1. Um, if you are referring to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, he is a lifelong Catholic.

    2. Clarence Thomas is only a former Baptist. Then he was an Episcopalian, and then I think he changed to Catholicism.
      Anita Hill is a Baptist, though.

      1. Whoops. Deacon’s Son and I posted at the same time, and he’s more right than I am. According to the unimpeachable source Wikipedia, Clarence Thomas was raised as a Catholic, but became disaffected with the Catholic Church as a young man. Then, “Thomas was reconciled to the Catholic Church in the mid-1990s. In his 2007 autobiography, he criticized the Church for its failure to grapple with racism in the 1960s during the Civil Rights Movement, saying it was not as ‘adamant about ending racism then as it is about ending abortion now.’ Thomas is one of thirteen Catholic justices—out of 112 justices total—in the history of the Supreme Court, and one of six currently on the Court.”


        1. Incidentally, the current makeup of the Supreme Court is three Jews (Ginsburg, Breyer, and Kagan), six Catholics (all the others), and no Protestants.

          Fundies are invited to make up as many conspiracy theories as possible around this situation.

        2. LOL! I had forgotten that post! I love how Chick just blames Catholics for everything: Nazis, Communists, etc, but my fave of that post is the Star of David on the front of the “Godfathers” comic book. I don’t think I can understand how they think the Catholics are responsible for Judaism, or maybe they are saying Catholics are responsible for Chick’s antisemitism?

        3. Didn’t Chick even say the Catholic hierarchy secretly created Islam?
          That must have been quite a trick.

        4. Looking at Chick’s Supreme Court illustration again, all I can say is, I’m pretty sure they have electric lights in the Supreme Court Building.

        5. Gary, don’t you ever watch movies, TV, or read Chick tracts? All evil gathering places use torches instead of electric lights. That’s why the denizens of such places are called the “ill-lumen-nazi”.

        6. Founding Islam while preposterous, is at least chronologically possible. Judaism generally is dated to Abram/Abraham around 2,000 to 2,500 BCE, where as the Catholic Church is generally dated as starting around 300 (Constantine) or 450 (Pope Leo) CE. Islam is generally dated around 700 CE. IDK how you blame Catholicism started 2,500ish years after the founding of Judaism for Judaism. 🙂

      2. To B.G & D.S.
        I didn’t mean they were all lifelong Baptists, any more than most of the “Baptists” of early Rhode Island history or early American history were. It seems to me that to the IFB anyone they like was a Baptist as long as they passed a Baptist church at least once in their lives. Some of the people I put on the list likely wouldn’t claim much of any religious affiliation, but are or have been Baptist at some point in their lives.
        My point is that Baptists are some of the worst at picking and choosing who is and isn’t really “one of them”, and downplaying the roles of those they wish to ignore. I tried to pick folks who claimed Baptist at least briefly from different vocational backgrounds.

        1. I thought the Baptists believed in “once Baptist always Baptist”? And if anyone ever leaves the denomination (not that Baptists are a denomination, Amen?) they just say he was never really a Baptist to begin with.

        2. Rank heresy, all the Peebs know very well that the Baptists are a denomination and that the Peebs aren’t because the Baptists call themselves by a name. See the Plymouth Brethren have cleverly avoided this by not calling themselves anything. They say others call them the P. B.s but they do not use any other name. So they call where they meet a meeting room not a church, themselves Believers Gathered to the Name of the Lord, and then say they are not a denomination because they have no church and no other name than God’s. They weren’t born yesterday, you can’t fool them! Those Baptists though…..

        3. Nice try Miriam. You have been deceived by satan himself. The Plymouth Brethren were named after Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock wasn’t created until Christopher ColumbUSA “found” it in 1492. That is what you call divine intervention.


        4. You mean “thee” place is not ”thee” place? Oh there’s going to be a whole bunch, well not that many but some, upset old men.

  18. Ah, so I’m assuming this will be a limited book on early American history, confining itself to the goings on of Rhode Island and Providence Plantation, right? That Roger Williams was one interesting character. I’ll assume the title is just a bit of exuberant overstatement the publisher threw in.


    1. Dang it, George – that’s “Providence Plantations”. Plural.

  19. Also, is there a fundy school of Graphic Design at one of the Bible Colleges somewhere? Always amusing how fundy books and websites and brochures always have the same look, use similar fonts, etc.

    1. Olde Pathes are the onlye pathes worthe walkinge.
      All fonts and graphics deigned sine the first ones appeared are perversions.

        1. Ah, someday I am going to choke George!

          It was the Blue Back Speller by Noah Webster. I may have a copy in my library somewhere. Homeschoolers use it, especially for those arcane KJV words.

        2. I knew what book you meant, as well as which Webster. We homeschooled our kids, but used Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary Deluxe Second Edition, published in 1983 for word look-up. I probably bought it in the mid 80s, long before we had kids, for my own use. We went to a few homeschool conferences over the years, including a couple at Unusual U. I was always amazed at the obviously slanted (and incorrect) revisionist early US history for sale, as well as old dictionaries, McGuffey Readers, and other books that had been reprinted for current use. I seem to have forgotten to teach them about the Baptist Heritage of our Founding Fathers, and even took them to such historical places as the Old North Church, which has never been IFB as well as I can tell. I even have a picture of one of the girls outside the Green Dragon Tavern of revolution era fame.

          I think we did okay in the homeschooling, since all three of them scored well on their SATs and two above average on their ASVABs.

  20. D-some of your commentors are causing this site to lose its luster.

    I know Ted personally. His inflated views of Baptist history and influence are well k own by bus who are his actual friends. Ted is a good guy, but has some holes in his historical views and some of his theology. Especially his spouting of hatred towards calvinism while doing Baptist history tours taking you to memorials and gravesights of dead Baptist calvinists.

    That aside, Ted has taken the Lee Greenwood route and is Proud to be a Baptist American. He is shortsighted on what actual history books say. Presupposing that every religious group from John the Baptist onward that immersed disciples was a Baptist is just ignorance of the reality. Ted’s type of Baptist didn’t exist in the 1st century and sure didn’t exist in the 18th century. He ignores the reality that Baptists didn’t invent democracy in church polity, they stole it from congregationalists , Mennonites, and separatists.

    His errant view of landmarkism’s church definition demands that what is in his mind is the true church be the center of all things historical.
    The road to this view is not short and one doesn’t come to it by accident. There are many inaccuracies that culminate into this Baptist bride mentality.
    Another christoryian, but still aberrant historian, is David Barton, who rewrites colonial history. He just isn’t so into Baptists.

    1. What are you even talking about? This is the 2nd comment by you in the last week in which you fail to grasp the concept that SFL is not a serious news site. Instead of being so critical of Darrell’s writings and the commenters, who by the way help make SFL what it is but somehow you miss that point, let’s say you start a blog. Come back here and post a link. Then we can see how much “luster” you can bring to the table for discussion.

    2. “Ted is a good guy.”

      You say it much like what people here in the South say “he’s a good old boy.”

      Yes, George was convicted for making meth. A pity. He’s a good old boy.”

      No, his fourth wife got a restraining order against him. He had 3 rifles in his trunk and 1200 rounds of ammunition, including armor-piercing rounds. Oh, and 3 kilos of cocaine. But he’s such a good old boy. Never harmed a soul, don’tcha know.

      Yeah, he has all of his facts wrong, deliberately ignores evidence against his reasoning, he has theological holes you could rice a Mac truck through, and demands that whatever happens to PPP into his mind be regarded as absolute Truth. But he’s a good guy.

      1. Have you ever used a potato ricer? I am picturing pushing a Mac truck through one of those.

      2. The South Texas version of “a good old boy/gal” is “he/she is buena gente.”

        A few years ago, one of our county commissioners was arrested for human trafficking, fraud, and embezzling (she subsequently pleaded guilty to many of these charges, and then said on the courthouse steps that she had been vindicated). At a public event around that time, I heard a woman say, “I know Sylvia is having a little legal problem, but she’s buena gente.”


        One other example: Several years ago, the mayor of Alice, Texas was charged with stealing her neighbor’s dog and telling the dog’s owner it had died. At this time, the town had a billboard on the highway declaring, “Alice is buena gente.” Passing this sign, I said, “Maybe so, but the Alice gente can’t seem to keep their manos off of other people’s mascotas.”


    3. Pope, you’re basically saying the same thing all of us are saying, which is that Ted Alexander’s take on history is preposterous.
      So I don’t see where your point of disagreement is.

    1. The other ad, thanks for asking, is from a tool store I researched last week. (I bought a new 1/4 inch mini impact gun)

    2. Amazing! You, too, can purchase fake science materials from a person with fake degrees now residing in a very real crowbar hotel.

  21. All I could think was, “who got laid by the Baptists? All of them? Oh… Wait… Not that kind of laid…”

    My fundyism has really worn off…

  22. Has Mr. Alexander ever read any works on Baptist History? Does he regard himself as the premier Baptist historian? I mean, I took David O. Beale’s Baptist History course at BJU back in the day and he never mentioned Ted Alexander. (I know, to be fair Mr. Alexander was probably in Junior High then). Beale’s class was one of my favorites of my undergraduate years. I thought his material was scholarly and well-researched as demonstrated in Pursuit of Purity.

    You simply cannot be a “Baptist Historian” without considering so many other disciplines and areas of historical significance. Am I missing something here? Yes I am…I haven’t read his $10 book yet, so I’ll have to reserve judgment on his “baptist historian” status until I do so, which I will not…so…I’m outta this topic of conversation.


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