Fundy Facebook of the Week: Baptist Bucket Challenges

So unless you’ve been living under a rock or are a Fundy U student (but I repeat myself), you’ve heard of the ALS ice bucket challenge. As one might imagine, anything that is popular and trending across the Internet will be met with resistance and suspicion by fundamentalists who will reject it first and then make up reasons later. Here is a sample of the reactions from across the Internet:

This Fundy suggests a pretty horrifying alternative:

Not to be outdone this Fundy pastor (FB video) decides to threaten anybody who dumps ice water on him with death and recommends giving money to missions instead.

And then this dear person attempts to Jesus Juke the whole thing by continuing the “missions is better than medicine” theme:


For any fundagelicals who are prone to argue that donating to ALS research means embryonic stem cell research, there’s a list here of donations you can make to research that doesn’t include embryonic stem cells rending that particular excuse invalid.

Full Disclosure: I donated to The ALS Association this week. If you chose to douse yourself with ice water, however, feel free to link that video in the comments since I find that sort of thing highly entertaining.

107 thoughts on “Fundy Facebook of the Week: Baptist Bucket Challenges”

  1. Why can’t they just let things…be? Why do they have to put their own spin on everything?

    1. Money you’re spending on anything but your religious organization is a threat to the survival of said organization. That’s why you shouldn’t give to charity.

    2. Like the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band sang,

      You come on like the princess of the junior prom
      Always part of everything that’s going down

    3. Why? Because like it or eye roll it, the viral campaign was successful, > $75 million raised when I last checked. (The whole foundation got around 16mil for the entirety of 2013. It has worked a treat.) It’s cute, easy, not harmful, playful, and raised a butt ton of money. The MoGs have to get in on some of that! Besides, you may have taken your attention away from them for a moment!

      1. Unless you are a resident of CA, then you are accused of wasting water. No lie. Seriously, just do it over your parched / half dead lawn – then you can assure your accusers the water was not wasted.

        1. Uncle Wilver, that is my favorite Three Stooges Sketch ever. “Do you swear?” “No, but I know all the words!”

        2. That and “But its a doiby”. Possibly two of the best lines ever in filmdom.

          Disorder in the Court, along with the sketches in which Moe makes fun of Hitler, are my favorites. It is probably because of them I use the name “Schicklgruber” as a comedy prop. Adolph dodged a bullet when his father changed his surname.

        3. “Disorder in the Court” is one of the best ever. I am partial to the sketch where they pretend to be doctors in the hospital. Being in the medical field, I’ve seen some fellow medical personnel who were that poorly qualified. My brother and I grew up watching the Stooges everyday. Some people don’t like them, but they are the foundation of physical comedy in my opinion. I am 37 years old and my brother and I still quote them regularly. I was so sad when my daughters didn’t find them as funny as I did. All they said was, “Mom, they’re so violent!” Times have changed indeed. Lol

      1. Great point!!! It frustrated me (because I don’t really care for sports) to see books and movies and music that I liked called worldly when sports was excused and enjoyed — because the people in authority liked sports. 😛

        1. That was actually supposed to be a smiley with the tongue sticking out in disgust, not a smiley face.

  2. I think fb pastors get a panicky sick feeling in the pit of their gut when they hear of their parishioners giving money to anything but the church or the church’s missions. They have to say something about it – they can’t let it be.

    1. Yes, our Fundy pastor taught that all giving should be done through the local church. ALL.

      I bet this will be a new gimmick for future building projects all over fundystan.

      1. I’ve had toe nail issues since hitting a fast pitch baseball off my foot a number of years ago. A bit self conscious about it, and the moisture wicking socks are supposed to prevent fungus according to my orthopedic doc.

        1. Oh sorry, did not mean to make you feel more self-conscious. Was just teasing the socks/sandals combo. I couldn’t wear open shoes for years, so I know your pain.

        2. It’s all good. I try not to get gross, it’s probably not as gross as it sounds, but I find it’s much easier for me to just make fashion faux pas and avoid the subject.

        3. I had toenail fungus for a decade after stubbing my toe on a rock and I cured it in about two months by coating the top side of the toenail with Vicks Vapo-Rub daily. I used to be really self-conscious about it, too, so I understand. The toenail is almost completely clear — if you look closely, it’s a little rough in texture, but that’s it.

  3. I know it shouldn’t shock me as strange that Fundys somehow overlook Paul’s words to the church in Galatia, “Therefore as we have opportunity, let us do good to ALL people, especially those who belong to the family of believers” (6:10).

    Apparently those who suffer from ALS must not qualify as people, and it’s likely that they caught ALS from their sinful behavior: smokin’, drinkin’, sleepin’ round and not goin’ to a IFB church. Who cares what scientific research might discover about this disease cause everyone knows science is run by bunch of no-good, low-down, wicked and perverse godless LIBERALS :^)

    1. Nobody knows what causes ALS.
      I think that’s partly your point, but I just want to be sure we’re all clear on that.

      1. BG: absolutely correct. But I am certain that there some IFBers out there who think they know it all…kind of like Job’s friends. Bad theology combined with arrogance can inflict a lot of pain.

    2. Fundy rejection of science has really started to grate at me. I have inoculated my kids against this mindset.

  4. I’ve seen some fundy relatives post challenge videos and then talk about how they are donating extra to the missions fund. There really is nothing a fundy can’t misunderstand and foul up.

    I haven’t been challenged, and will ignore it if I am. I tend to try to do very little of whatever is trending at the time. That doesn’t mean I won’t donate. I may already have, I don’t know. I tend to donate to causes that have affected me or those I personally know. Leukemia, children’s cancer, ALS, and even HIV/AIDS have hit people close to me over the past few years. I rarely follow the crowd, preferring to quietly donate to causes that mean something to me.

    Darrell, thanks for the link to the article and different donation avenues. I will pass it on to some of the “I would give but….” folks I know. They will likely come up with a new excuse, but I will pass it on anyway.

    1. Me and thee, Uncle W, and I am terribly careful with donations after the Susan Komen brou-ha-ha. (You do NOT get to use my hard-earned donation to fight stupid-ass legal battles over the use of the phrase “for the cure”. The amount of money going to their legal fund was asinine.). However, I can admire the efficacy of this particular campaign. I think a lot of people, MOGs included, wish they had thought of it.

      1. Yeah, I’m not too keen on paying someones petty whiny-person legal bills either. I have a wife, mom, two daughters, twelve nieces, and some sister-in-laws so I don’t mind donating to research. I even allow myself to be a lemming in October by wearing my pink ball cap on rare occasions. I prefer though to find research facilities who are lesser known because they research more than they advertise. I have also bought a number of Livestrong bands over the years. That particular research could possibly help me personally, but again, I prefer the outfits that are working for a cure more than acclaim.

    2. “I haven’t been challenged, and will ignore it if I am.”

      Amen, the chain letter and/or ponzi scheme must stop somewhere, so let it be me.

      1. I have a cousin named Andy who likely would say something very similar. He probably isn’t you or an SFL reader, though. He has a different background in Christendom from mine and doesn’t have the legalistic baggage I’ve been unpacking these past years.

        (I think that reads very convoluted, but I’m tired of editing it.)

      2. Yeah, the whole thing doesn’t appeal to me at all.
        But unlike the guy in the video, I don’t plan to kill anyone who throws water on me.

        Actually, in the kind of weather we’ve been having here, people throw cold water on themselves just to cool off.

  5. Fundy Objection to 60 million dollars being raised for research into a cure for ALS sounds familiar…”That Ice Bucket challenge was worth several year’s wages. It should have been hi-jacked and the money used for soul winning and buying white pianos.” (Not that he cared for the poor—he was a Mog, and since he was in charge of the church’s money, he often used some on himself.)

  6. I read all the comments. Regardless of how they feel about the challenge (which i have to do today), do these people not even realize how self-centered they sound?!
    And how is it a haymen thing to be gorging yourself on fried chicken? And how much more could you give to missions if you weren’t stuffing your face with grease? And how much longer could a good ol’ preacher boy live if he ate healthier? I knew the South has an obesity problem; I just didn’t know it was godly to be so fat.
    Not to mention the fact that I have worked at KFC. After wading through rotting chicken blood many times, I would never eat there.

    1. I think my comment about obesity might be offensive. I didn’t mean it like that, especially as I certainly am not a great example of fitness! It just bugs me that the excess is encouraged, rather than healthy living being encouraged. Sorry!

  7. Best I saw was Fundy Bible College dean said that the challenge or “dare” was bad because it taught children to accept anything they were challenged or “dared” to do without first evaluating whether or not God would be pleased by it. Because we all knew girls that lost their virginity on a dare…

    Good news was the vast majority of responses to him were negative.

    1. Well that explains the drug problem in the country! Don’t donate to ALS or your child will take drugs on a dare.

    2. You mean all I had to do was dare girls, an they would have sex with me?
      I weep for my high-school self, who had no idea.

      1. Yeah, I’m feeling totally bummed out myself. Although, I should probably warn the good man that if having sex on a dare is in any way like getting a bucket of ice-water dumped on his head…he is probably doing it wrong.

  8. “My hair is magnificent, isn’t it.”
    “I thought I was going to have to BEAT you for insinuating something.”
    “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA That would have been HILARIOUS…but then I’d have to find another wife, nurture her, train her, mold her, etc…Not fun. LOL” [in response to the idea of his wife dunking him]”
    “SHOOT Russell….I’d flop your carcass all over the back yard like a rag doll HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
    “HEY!!! This is about MY VIDEO against ICE BUCKET CHALLENGHES OF ALL KINDS. No Hijacking!”
    Yeah, this is the sort of maturity I’d expect from my pastor. If he were still in middle school.

      1. Some say it’s a sure sign someone is lying.
        I think things are really a little more complicated than that.

  9. Ironic that they turned a promise of God–John 3:16 into a challenge. Not only are they missing the point of the Ice Bucket challenge but they are also missing the point of John 3.

  10. What is all that red stuff in the KFC picture?

    Buckets of blood?
    Gallons of tomato sauce?
    Huge Jell-O shots?

  11. So where does the money donated to the ALS Association actually go? You may be surprised to find out that the Association itself claims that only 27% of its funds go towards research.
    We pulled up their 2013 tax returns to take a closer look at how their funds are spent. Here are the salaries for the leadership of the group:
    Jane H. Gilbert – President and CEO – $339,475.00
    Daniel M. Reznikov – Chief Financial Officer – $201,260.00
    Steve Gibson – Chief Public Policy Officer – $182,862.00
    Kimberly Maginnis – Chief of Care Services Officer – $160,646.00
    Lance Slaughter – Chief Chapter Relations and Development Officer – $152,692.00
    Michelle Keegan – Chief Development Officer – $178,744.00
    John Applegate – Association Finance Officer – $118.726.00
    David Moses – Director of Planned Giving – $112,509.00
    Carrie Munk – Chief Communications and Marketing Officer – $142,875.00
    Patrick Wildman – Director of Public Policy – $112,358.00
    Kathi Kromer – Director of State Advocacy – $110,661.00

    Total administration costs, as seen in the pie chart above, were just under $2 million. “Other salaries and wages” (Part IX line 7) were $3.6 million, with another half million dollars in “pension plans” and “employee benefits.” Expenses for non-employee labor were about $4 million, and “travel expenses” exceeded $1.3 million.
    So total costs for labor to run the association was around $12.5 million, from revenues received totaling $24 million.
    Over 50% of what the ALS Association receives appears to support salaries of people working for the Association, based on these tax returns.
    So what about the rest of the revenue?
    Almost $1 million was spent on “Lobbying” (Schedule C Part II 2a). Here is what they wrote concerning their Lobbying efforts:
    Explanation: The purpose of our advocacy program is to sensitize legislators to, and obtain their sympathy for, the plight of ALS victims, patients and their families, and to influence legislation regarding the appropriation of federal funds for ALS research and the use and cost to patients of “orphan” drugs.

    1. I do like the comment, “If I’d known members of Congress would be doing this, I would have tried to start a Bucket of Scorpions Challenge.”

  12. Checked out TL on facebook. There were triggers all over his page, and yes – there were gun triggers and anxiety triggers.

  13. Latest post from Tharp’s FB:

    “I Peter 4:4 Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you….wow. yep!”

    Shots fired!

  14. Check out the following post from T.L. “Chicken Bucket” Jones from his FB page. Alright folks, let’s explain the faulty logic at work.

    “A word about standards…

    I. All churches have doctrinal standards.

    If you think you attend a church that doesn’t believe in holding to any particular doctrine start stealing money out of the offering plate or out of the ladies purses. I bet they quickly enforce – Thou shalt not steal. Right?

    II. All churches have behavioral standards.

    If you think your church doesn’t judge people you’re wrong. Have a total stranger walk into your church and start swatting unruly children on the behind with a fly swat. The parents will instantly assume the swatter is a lunatic and insist the child swatting stop. They’ll probably want the swatter removed and maybe arrested. That’s because all rational people make judgments regarding behavior. Right?

    III. All churches have dress standards.

    Even the contemporary casual dress churches wouldn’t allow a band of nude people to parade around the sanctuary. Notice they advertise “casual dress”, which indicates you must wear some type of dress. Right?

    IV. All churches have music standards.

    If you think your church is too cool to have music standards then write you a classical hymn that praises Hitler for genocide. I bet its not allowed in your church. Right?

    Here’s the point – all churches, unless they are operated by truly insane people, have standards. They may not be in writing but they are understood by the attendees and will be enforced when necessary. So, all this castigating of fundamental churches over standards is really hypocritical. Its not that you don’t have standards at your church its just you believe your standards are better or more appropriate than others.

    So, whose judging who? Selah.”

      1. Its not a straw man fallacy, per se, it is the fallacy of the excluded middle; imho the most common among fundies. There is no scale; no nuance; only binary. So any judging is conflated with all judging. It is hilariously stupid, and I don’t mean that as an insult to whoever posted this. It just breaks down into insanity with only a little bit of critical thinking.

    1. Look man, other churches disapprove of some things. Take killing as an example. There’s not a single church in our Christian country that approves of killing someone. So don’t you start getting all bent out of shape just because we don’t approve of a few things ourselves!

      1. I don’t know, considering that R. J. Rushdoony, the great hero and arbiter of all things fundy, publicly advocated the stoning of gays, loose women, blasphemers and rebellious children.

      2. Oh, I don’t know about *that*.

        There are churches and pastors who call for the killing of gay people. Fundy churches.

        And lots of fundies support the death penalty.

        “This Paper explores the impact of the belief structure among white fundamentalist denominations on the supportfor the death penalty.”

        You’d better believe there are churches calling for people to die. Open your eyes.

    2. Dear Rev. Chicken Bucket,
      When I begin my grammar ministry to ACE/Basement Bible College-educated IFB pastors, you will be first on my list of prospects.
      The logic ministry I will leave to others with stronger stomachs.

      Miss TTU Runner-Up

  15. Here is my beef with the whole ALS ice bucket challenge with regards to my fundy friends: A lot of them are doing it and bashing other people for not doing it when most of the time, they are the ones who are always yelling about “going against the crowd” “being separated from the world”. As usual, the hypocrisy comes shining through. Go against the crowd until the church says it’s okay to join the crowd. Then if you don’t go along with the crowd, you are a heathen. Typical fundy MO I guess! Don’t dare think for yourself, let the church do your thinking for you!
    Another thing that bugs me: The IFB is always railing against organizations that support causes they disagree with ( Girl Scouts, Home Depot, etc.) until they find a loophole that will give them an excuse to support said organization; then all of a sudden it’s okay and even encouraged!
    FTR, I have been nominated 3 times for the ice bucket challenge and have ignored all of them. I have my own reasons none of which I feel I should justify or explain to anyone.

    1. I have my own reasons none of which I feel I should justify or explain to anyone.

      My dad taught me a long time ago that “No” is a complete sentence. This was in response to someone demanding an explanation about why I wasn’t doing something. It is a lesson I have remembered for quite a while.

        1. I had one in high school that also taught me that a slap in the face is a complete sentence,,,,

    2. “No” is not good enough. You have to have a reason, backed up by bible verses and then you must choose to do something more righteous and announce it to everyone.

      1. And even then it won’t be enough; you can’t do the second thing until you do the First, Sanctioned-By-The-MOg-His-Very-Own-Self and Therefor More Worthy Plan and in full view of the MOg and the church. 🙄

    3. Kidding aside, I agree that you have every right to just say, “No, I don’t want to do that,” with no need to explain.
      On the other hand, if you want to tell your reasons, that’s also your right.

  16. I think some of the fundy pastors need a bucket of ice water thrown on them so they stay away from teenage girls.

    1. No THAT is a cause I can support!

      (Will there be a raffle to see who gets to throw the ice water?)

  17. This was an interesting article from a woman whose husband was a pastor who recently died of ALS.

    She made an interesting comment near the end: “Finally, I know that Patrick would share with others that giving finances to any church, mission or organization that promotes the Gospel is ultimately the best and safest investment because it’s the only one that answers our greatest need.” This is the thinking I heard all my life in the IFB; the result was that many church members ignored all other charities and only gave to their church.

    1. Dear pastor’s wife:

      You wrote: ‘the result was that many church members ignored all other charities and only gave to their church …’

      I add: ‘… which may explain why people say, ‘the Gospel is ultimately the best and safest investment …’

      Christian Socialist

  18. I guess the real question I have is this….

    Is Jones saying that we shouldn’t support ALS research, or is he saying that you should teach children to be gluttons and abuse their bodies with crappy food?

    Never once in my 20+ years in Fundy Land, did I hear a pastor/speaker/etc, address gluttony. I heard women bash other women at “ladies conferences” for being overweight(another topic).

    However, I never heard anything about gluttony. Probably would have put a damper on the cake fellowship that was following the service anyway…..

  19. Seen a few fundy responses to this as well. It comes across as: a) we hate fun, and b) we support ALS. All gotta die sometime anyway, haymen?

    Some are well-meaning, I’m sure, but it comes across as harsh.

  20. Yeah, we all know that verse where Jesus told us the world would know we are His followers when we dump water on our heads. (ROLLING EYES)

    1. Rolling, Rolling, Rolling,
      Show you’re not extolling,
      Keep them orbs a-rolling, Mar-cie…

      (with apologies to Rawhide)

    2. Marcus, I think the verse is “By this shall all men know ye are my disciples if ye develop the ability to swap thy mouth and thy backside around at will”

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