128 thoughts on “Hubris”

    1. Batman and Hamblin in the baTernacle,
      Hamblin done a fart and paralysed his cackle,
      His gaggle couldn’t take it,
      The tent blew apart,
      All because of Hamblin and his supersonic fart.

      1. Hmmm. I could call my wife “The First Lady of Confused Bumbling,”* but I don’t think she’d appreciate it.

        At least I know that if you write “first” as “1st,” there isn’t supposed to be a period after “1st” unless it’s the last word in a sentence.

        *Purely due to her association with me

    1. My guess, is that someone else tweeted this for him. Perhaps his wife? All too often, the wives of big name (or so they think) evangelists and pastors only refer to them by their self-accrued title. So, this was likely tweeted by his wife or his underpaid secretary. ๐Ÿ˜

  1. Big Gary does not usually refer to himself in the third person. Doing so seems odd to Big Gary. Big Gary thinks maybe “Dr. Hamblin” is tacitly admitting that the John Hamblin character he depicts in his writing is fictional.

  2. According to this site , http://www.bereanpublications.com/books/ThunderUnderTheTent.html, this gentleman is a “old-fashioned, leather-lunged, independent, fundamental, KJV, sin-exposing, Devil-fighting, God-loving, evil-hating Baptist Preacher”.

    After reading the descriptive content of the book, I felt like I had experienced an intro for a boxer before a boxing match. How about talking about the content of the messages rather than the man? Of course, you can’t ask for anything more in a man centered realm. I hope one day IFB will shed off these man centered habits. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

    Todd
    http://tipofthetonguetheology.blogspot.com/

    1. I’m turning on the Fundy-to-English translation machine:

      Fundy: โ€œold-fashioned, leather-lunged, independent, fundamental, KJV, sin-exposing, Devil-fighting, God-loving, evil-hating Baptist Preacher”

      English: yells a lot

      Fundy: “Dr. Hamblin walks in the Old Paths, preaches the Old Book, and sees God work in Old-Time Power.”

      English: “Dr.” Hamblin hasn’t read any books since Bible College.

      Fundy: “He is eminently well-qualified to be a spokesman for the Old-Time Religion.”

      English: He’s a legend in his own mind.

      Fundy: “”While hurricane force storms rage across the landscape leaving destruction in their wake, the ‘Hamblin Hurricane’ (Dr. John N. Hamblin) embraces the pulpit with rolling thunder and lightning flashing.” –“Dr.” Shelton Smith

      English: Hamblin yells a lot.

      Fundy: “As the preacher opens the Bible to preach, the heavenly winds tear through the church establishing moral and spiritual order bringing hope and giving help to the broken, the bound, and the eternally bankrupt soul.” –“Dr.” Shelton Smith

      English: The preacher is God. Only the preacher can save your soul.

      1. Big Gary,

        I think if we sold your Fundy-to-English Translator along with my Hyles-Calibrated Calculator (which shows, among other things, how an auditorium that seats 5,000 allegedly holds 40,000 on a Sunday morning) we’d really have something.

        Partners?

        Bro Bluto

        1. Bro Bluto,

          It’s a deal, provided your calculator can also unpack Fundy math, to show, for example, what “over a million souls won” means in non-Fundy numeration.

    2. So, a rantin’ ravin’ pig-ignorant loudmouthed bullying jerk, then.

      What is this obsession with being able to shout a lot? It reminds me of that bit in Shakespeare–“A tale told by an idiot/Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

  3. If he’s thunder, who is the lightning? Because in my experience, it is certainly not God.

    Me thinks he should change the title so that he is both the thunder and the lightning–the all powerful mog.

  4. I took it upon myself to write a suggested blurb for the jacket of the good doctor’s book:

    Step right in folks! See Me Me the clown doctor perform his galactically famous act under the big top!
    Also performing will be Shelton and his amazing sword, Tony “the Beast” Hutson will lift massive amounts of weight just by standing up and finally an ensemble act will saw a sinner in half. The sinner will be chosen at random from the crowd!

    You don’t want to miss the excitement!

    We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
    were exclusively our own,
    All our own. All our own.
    Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!
    See the show!

    Tickets and tithes at the window, keep the line moving.

  5. If his new book is anything like typical fundamentalist books, it’s probably filled with lots of unsupported ranting and raving, 3rd grade level grammar and sentence variety, a gushing dedication to some other “great man of God” and will only be read by people who relish buzz words like “thunder, lightning, power, and amen.” ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I wonder if this book will include sparkling nuggets like this one, from a sermon of the good Doc entitled “Three Pieces of Property I’m Not Willing To Put A For Sale Sign On”:

    “You’d better not mess with this bible. It’d be better if you messed with forked lightning than to mess with this bible. Because if you mess with this King James bible–I didn’t stutter, I didn’t stammer–I said this King James Bible. You MESS with this King James bible, God will monkey with your brains and it will be manifested in your behavior.”

    I do believe, dear friends and neighbors, that God has indeed monkeyed with my brains. That explains so much about me that has hitherto been unfathomable.

    1. In his “Cutting off the word of God” performance he mentions how his old King James Bible points out it was a dove that descended at Jesus’ baptism. I quickly looked up Mark 1:6 in my NASB. I guess the satanists missed that one because it said dove as well. In fact, I’m pretty sure all you heathern Bibles say dove.

  7. Darrell once mentioned that Hamblin looks rather constipated. In the picture on the book’s cover, he does look like he’s having a problem with a BM. And that brings an entirely new meaning to the book’s title.

    1. Paisley, I agree wholeheartedly. Note his stance: leaned forward, strained, slightly confused facial expression. Dr. H looks just like a clogged up bulldog trying hard to push one out.

  8. Mr. Hamblin looks angry. I wonder what he is upset about?

    Can someone here offer some sincere consolations? Someone? Anyone?

    Perhaps Doctor Paisley is correct in the constipation assessment, but there simply has to be more to the turmoil displayed in the man’s countenance. I just can’t quite put my finger on it.

    1. Well, when one is a tremendous-Man-o-God, a stand-in-the-gap protector of Old-Time Religion, an inveterate peddler of hyphenated superlatives, there is a crap-load of things to be pissed-off about.

        1. Sword of the Lord. Not sure where or if he went to school. His mentor, Tom Malone, is a product of Bob Jones, I believe. Some kind reader with more expertise in tracing out the Trail of Blood may have more info.

        2. Hey now, I am a product of Bob jones. Malone may have attended there but he is a product of clinical narcissism.

    2. Alexander the Coppersmith,
      Hey, an honorary doctorate! Thanks so much! I knew they were easy to get, but I didn’t know that they were as easy as one simple comment on SFL!
      Kind regards,
      Dr. Paisley ๐Ÿ˜€

        1. Weeeelllll, that strikethrough generator didn’t work out quite like I hoped. ๐Ÿ˜ณ I’d better give one of my doctorates back.

      1. Honorary nothin’! You earned it. Of course, women-folk doctors in fundystan are frowned upon.

        Wait…it just occurred to me that every single female doctor in fundy-land earned their doctorates. All the honorary “doctors” are over-bearing, elitist, imperial, authoritarian, domineering, lording-over dudes!

        Seriously, does anyone under the sound of my..uh..typing (or is that key-boarding?) know of a woman in the fundy world with an honorary doctorate? Now, with your heads bowed and your eyes closed, let’s see a raising of hands of those who know such a fictional character (NO LOOKING AROUND!)

  9. Room gets suddenly still
    And when you’d almost bet
    You could hear yourself sweat, he walks in
    Eyes black as coal
    And when he lifts his face
    Ev’ry ear in the place is on him
    Starting soft and slow
    Like a small earthquake
    And when he lets go,
    Half the valley shakes
    – Neil diamond

    http://youtu.be/WAZq5xIsFTk

  10. When I read “till the release…”, my thought was tilling it under is probably the best idea yet for this book. That is how it’s likely contents are usually used.

  11. “And I guess that’s why they call it the blues
    Time on my hands could be time spent with you
    Laughing like children, living like lovers
    Rolling like thunder under the covers
    And I guess that’s why they call it the blues”
    ~Sir Elton John

  12. The tie clip these days is a lapel Mic (unless you are a diehard Hyles fan…he and his clones insist on using handheld mics, because lapel mics are “sissified”).

  13. I don’t see the attraction of “tent” meetings — it’s very humid in the midwest; it’s very hot in the south. Does suffering for no sensible reason endear us to God?? Isn’t that an (evil) Catholic doctrine?

    1. While in fundydom, I had many opportunities to hear bombastic blowhards like this guy. It’s an easy thing to sound all tough and unrelenting when your bloated oratory is dispensed to like-minded blowhards. In a real fight with real men, I have credible doubts many of these self-proclaimed warriors would be able to stand. Stuff like this works in the fictional world of the religio-corporate entity that some call a church, but the reality check comes in the mail the minute they step out into the real world. Yes, I’ve met some sincere people laboring in the Lord’s vineyard, but so much of what SFL lampoons is right on!

      1. Precisely! Whether he’s a nice guy or not is irrelevant. (I do know which way I’d vote though…)

        Some of the nicest people I’ve ever meet are Mormons. Their niceness doesn’t change the fact that they are heretics.

        Someone on this board (Can’t remember who) a while back put it succinctly, “Preach Christ or sit down!”

  14. Should be called Turd Under the Tent. This guy is friends with racist, Philly the Kidd, felon, Guy Beaumont, ie. The Real Baptist and adulterer, pastor marty. What a loser.

    1. The “Fundy Pastor” Racket isn’t making Hamblin enough money so a few months ago he tried to get a part-time job as a member of the Chippendales. He failed the audition. They said he was too bald.

  15. “Step right up!
    Come on , Come all
    See the Greatest show on earth as this preacher pontificates and bloviates from behind a gen-u-ine Bullshittem pulpit right here in the center ring.
    It walks,
    it talks,
    it throws out its belly like a whale.

    Yes-sir-ee folks you will never be the same!
    This is you once in a lifetime chance to own your very own copy of the story of one of the greatest preachers, in his own mind, who has ever graced the pulpit with his thunderous presence.

    Why, you’ve never experienced preaching until you’ve sat under the sound of his voice.
    His manipulation techniques are second to none. He can fill and altar and get decisions! There is none like unto him… just ask him.

    Step Right up, see the greatest performance under any tent, on any stage, in any church! That’s right folks for a generous “Love Offering” of only… not $10, not $20, not $30 but $50 dollars you too can experience the trill a minute of the good Doctor’s presence and preaching. (no personal checks accepted, cash and debit transactions only.)

    Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!”

  16. This book reminds me of a statement an old friend had been know to utter. If he got it from somewhere else, I have been unable to find the source.

    “Beware thieves, charlatans, and purveyors of snake oil.”

    1. Random funny factoid that is oddly relevant to the topic: The original snake oil actually worked; it was a Chinese medicine made from a type of snake fat that was very high in something that is good for the joints, and it was sold as a joint rub. It was a product of the Chinese medical establishment, which has produced some wrong-headed notions and quite a few things that help.

      The stuff that hucksters peddled out of the backs of wagons all over the West was made up of any old crap–some of it inert, some intoxicating, some actually harmful–and sold as a cure for absolutely everything by people who cared only about profit to people who didn’t have a grounding in the traditions that would have enabled them to spot the scam.

  17. I like reading the posts on here every day and seeing the same people comment many times throughout the day it makes me laugh great website but who really has the time to comment dozens of times a day

  18. You all don’t know what your talking about. The govament is coming down upon us all and John Hamblein is a voice of reason in this moraly bankruptured country. When the US launches the HARP satelights and starts controlling the weather, you will all be running to the real thunder under the tent to hear the truth (John Hamblen).

  19. If I remember correctly, Elijah did not find God in the thunder, or in the earthquake, or in the mighty wind.

    He found God in the still small voice, in the quiet.

    All thunder under the tent will do is deafen you, scare you and hurt you. But you won’t find the power of God in it.

    After all, “the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”

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