77 thoughts on “BJU Beer”

  1. I’ll keep my Pampered Chef Bar-B-Boss (or however it’s spelled) that my wife picked up for me on father’s day many a moon ago.

    At least when I’m flipping my Sam’s Club frozen burgers I won’t be reminded of what I done e’t in fundystan.

      1. Dear Darrell:

        I suspect that others downloaded and saved that image also. Snob Clones may be some time living down that one! LOL!


        Christian Socialist

        1. I downloaded the image and emailed it to my brother in Greenville, SC, who is a proud graduate of that institution. I told him that, given BJU’s new stance on beer, I might return as a student.

        2. Dear BRO, As one who is looking to find somewhere warmer to retire in 3 years, this really really makes me consider moving to Greenville, if they offer a senior discount for tuition. I could become a “lifetime learner.” ~BJg

        3. Dear BigRedOne:

          Senior discount? Wow! I should qualify for several!

          Christian Socialist

  2. Ha! That reminds me of the gift my friend gave me when I graduated from Bob Jones. It was a shot glass that she had engraved with “BJU”. I STILL use it to this day!

  3. I’m sure this was a simple omission. What they meant to say was pop open a bottle of root beer.

  4. Wow. Great find, Darrell. I’d love one of those bottle openers but I’d better order it soon. When I went to BJU intercollegiate sports were some kind of lure of the enemy. Now they use intercollegiate sports as a marketing tool to boost their plummeting enrollment. Of course, when I went there interracial dating was a sin punishable by expulsion.

    No of course I’m not bitter. Ironically I’m very happy in a cross cultural marriage for the past 24 years. I guess I’ve been living in sin.

  5. I just went to the BJ Bruins website and couldn’t find this under “Tailgate and Leisure.” I bet that they already heard about SFL and pulled this from the site. What’s with the “Tailgate” thing anyway? I thought people generally ate BBQ and drank beer while tailgating.

    1. Here’s how it goes:
      1. At BJU, tailgating is mandatory for all students during all Bruins games.
      2. While town students and faculty may use their cars for tailgating purposes, the Dining Common will supply all dormitory students with Festive Tailgating Dinner Bags. These will include either peanut butter and jelly or cold cut sandwiches, condiments, a juicebox, and an apple.
      3. Students are expected to dress appropriately for all tailgating events. When tailgating on campus, students are to adhere to afternoon dress code. When tailgating off campus, students are to adhere to Saturday morning dress code.
      4. As sporting events off campus may include loud, secular music, students will be issued ear plugs. Ear plugs are mandatory during such songs as “We Will Rock You,” anything by Elton John, Bon Jovi, Queen, etc., or any music that includes electric guitar and/or drums.
      5. Students are reminded that they are expected to conduct themselves as testimonies of the school while at sporting events. Please remember to from in disapproval at the behavior going on around you.

      1. I suspect this is a parody, but that is hilarious!! As usual, per Poe’s Law, you can’t tell for sure.

      2. I’m waiting for the Saturday dress code from 5:00 pm to 5:45 pm…. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Seriously? A Saturday afternoon dress code? (which implies that there is a Saturday morning and Saturday evening dress code, at least). Do they have one for each day of the week?

  6. Arch Radish – live the King if the Hill reference! I’m on my phone and it won’t let me reply directly.

    1. Yeah, apparently they removed the link so that you can’t browse to it. However, the page itself remains as long as you go to the direct URL.

  7. Of course some administrator is chewing out some hapless underpaid web business student for just cutting and pasting from their supplier’s descriptions.

    It was a mistake. It was funny — though the BJU admin will never admit to seeing it that way.

    What we need is some genuine BJU Brews. Made from the purest water from the Chapel water fountains (the functional equivalent of Holy Water, don’t you know!), specialty fruits and grains grown on the BJU farm, perfectly blended for taste but left unfermented for that Jesus turned water into nonalcoholic good stuff flavor.

  8. I love how under the (tightfitting) UnderArmor they only have men’s and youth sizes. No women’s…

  9. Apparently, SFL has some sort of influence in fundyland, kinda like the recent Modern Family fundy book cover Faux pas.

    I’ve been a bit free with my words not truly believing that various and sundry Fundy U spies have been lurking about these hallowed blogs.

    ComSec! (Communication Security)

    “Loose Lips Sink Ships”

    “Warning: The Walls Have Ears!”

    1. Shorts should be short. That’s why they’re called “shorts”. And I am sick of fundies sexualizing everything. Can we agree that women have beautiful legs without lusting over them? I happen to think the cathedral of Notre Dame is beautiful, but I don’t fantasize about it. Women in gowns – even the “approved” formal wear of fundy institutions – are gorgeous. Can we just enjoy the beauty God created without getting all weird about it? This was one thing that threw me for a complete loop when I attended FU. Maybe it’s because I have two sisters very close to me in age, or maybe it was my upbringing, but I had never even considered thinking about women as sexual objects until I attended FU where it was baked into every rule. I believe part of social and spiritual growth is the ability to enjoy God’s good gifts without lusting, or gluttony, or the other five deadly sins.

      1. The little woman is in the kitchen making tater salad and taking care of the three rugrats under four, while instructing the six y/o daughter on the finer points of making macaroni salad and table setting.

  10. Noticed on their athletics website that they are getting loose on their shaving requirement. Of course, this is post Chris Peterman.

  11. I always have a beer after church. Isn’t that what’s called, “the thirst after righteousness.”

  12. There’s a “Suggestions” page so that you can suggest other items for their online store. Could be fun!


    I wonder what other seemingly inappropriate items have been “hidden.” The website content seems to be coming from a company called Advanced Online. I tried to see if I could trick or hack the page so that another product would be displayed with the BJU logo. Couldn’t quite get it to work, but I’m sure someone could do it.

    1. What about a grey necktie with say, 50 different hues of said color? That could be a nice art project for a fine arts major.

        1. I figured they’d have to spend a few years preachin’ against “the Twilights” first, haymen?

        2. You know, if I said “two score and ten” instead of actually using the word “fifty” the reference might go completely over Fundystan’s collective heads.

  13. All the “pink zone” stuff is for women, too. Guess that BJU guys have to wear “masculine” colors. And what statement is intended by not allowing womens’ under armour?

  14. How did I miss this post!? Hilarious!

    Although, the combo flipper/bottle opener I gave my spouse for his birthday a few years ago is still going strong. And it might just be me, but it seems the majority of the beer bottles we buy have screw off tops – no bottle opener necessary.

    1. Ok, wow. That little abstract symbol shown on the pink can cozy is very, ummmm…feminine. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ Or maybe my twisted mind is reading into it. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

      1. I see that! It’s not any normal symbol I’m familiar with and could easily be some subliminal iconography.

        1. I don’t know whether to be relieved someone else sees it, or embarrassed that I’m thinking like you, RobM! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ˜†

      1. I freely admit I’m clueless in the brewski department. I do like Magic Hat (NOT a screw top, btw) & dislike Budweiser (tastes watered-down to me). Suggestions are always welcomed! (Srsly, I’d love a list of everyone’s favorites to work my way through. Hint, hint.) ๐Ÿ˜‰

        1. @(fellow)BJg: Cheers!

          @Dr. Fundystan: Looked it up on their site & it sounds delicious! However, there are no distributors in my area (closest is over an hour away). Boo.

      1. Yes, beers brewed in monasteries also qualify, of course. But I thought Holy Grail Ale was the funniest.

Comments are closed.